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16 Things I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self Today

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When I was 20, I used to think that I knew everything about life. I lived with the same delusion when I became 22, and even 27. High expectations from everyone around me and self-flagellation caused me many problems. Some remain even now. 

In this letter to myself, I want to speak to every 20-year-old.  Don’t think that it’s just another motivational letter to myself. It’s the lessons I wish I knew ten years ago. 

My Letter to 20 Year Old Self

Hello, dear! I know you would probably be skeptical about what I would say. But I hope you will listen at least to some advice from the lessons I learned through my experience..

1. You Won’t Always Get Things Done Your Way

Even though it’s hard to admit, you have to engrave this in your brain: “Things don’t always work according to your plan”. Sometimes, deviations are minor, sometimes life-changing. You must always have plan B.

2. Don’t Burn Bridges

You never know who you are going to need in the future. It might be your lecturer, the first boss, a cashier in a coffee-shop near your house. Always remember we live in a small world.

3. Choose the People You Surround Yourself with

Those surrounding you shape you. If you don’t want to act like someone from your inner circle, cross him/her out.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.” – Mark Twain

4. Learning Is an Everlasting Process

This isn’t just to do with career advice. The more you live, the more you wish you knew more. Keep evolving.

5. Never Postpone Life

Don’t wait until you finish college or start a new job. Time is passing faster than you can imagine. If you don’t learn how to live in the moment, you will never live at all.

6. Care about Your Mind and Body

You are your most precious asset. Don’t ignore red flags. Many problems don’t disappear on their own, no matter how much we wish they did.

7. You Can Say No

You can say “no” to everything. If something provokes stress and anxiety, cut it out from your life. Even if it seems hard, you will thank yourself later. 

8. Trust Your Gut

Your gut is your invisible guide through making decisions. You don’t always have to push yourself in a particular direction if it feels wrong. Advice to myself – say “No” to whatever you want to.

9. Don’t Bottle Up

You deserve to experience life in all its fullness. Emotions – even negative ones – are a part of it. In this letter to myself, I want to highlight that bad emotions aren’t always bad. Without them, we won’t feel the pleasure of good feelings.

10. Forgive

Holding grudges will hardly make your life better, and usually, the only one to suffer is you. Others won’t haul around this weight inside themselves. 

11. You Are Your Greatest Ally and Opponent

You are your best support, and you are your toughest challenge. Overpowering yourself is hard. There is no need to compare your results with others. Be better than you used to be. 

12. Always Stand Up

You will fall down. Unfortunately, this will happen many times. Sometimes these falls will seem fatal. And that’s normal. What you have to learn is to pull yourself together. 

“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.” – Les Brown

13. Stay Passionate about What You Do

Whether you are going to open a printing shop or a café, remain passionate. Your inner power will lead to success. You are the only one who can light this flame.

14. Perceive Challenges as an Opportunity

Even a study from Kings College in London proved that positive thinking reduces worry and anxiety. As this letter to myself states, life will hit you hard. You will face many challenges. If you embrace them as an opportunity for improvement, they will be easier to overcome.

15. Acknowledge Your Freedom to Shape Your Life

You are the master of your life. Although you don’t have the power to control the circumstances, you take responsibility for your own response. 

16. Develop Self-Love

This is one of the most crucial things I would say. Love yourself. This way, you won’t need anyone to give you love. This is an unchanging principle of life.

P.S. Note to myself: Even if you don’t follow any of it, you are still wonderful!

Which of the 16 things I shared resonated with you the most and why? Share it in the comments!

Anthony Kreychmar currently works in Fortuna Visual Group as a private psychologist. His main expertise lies in helping people to manage stress and anxiety. He has received a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. He believes that the power of the human-being is concealed in his ability to remain true to himself.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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