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16 Things I’d Tell My 20 Year Old Self Today

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When I was 20, I used to think that I knew everything about life. I lived with the same delusion when I became 22, and even 27. High expectations from everyone around me and self-flagellation caused me many problems. Some remain even now. 

In this letter to myself, I want to speak to every 20-year-old.  Don’t think that it’s just another motivational letter to myself. It’s the lessons I wish I knew ten years ago. 

My Letter to 20 Year Old Self

Hello, dear! I know you would probably be skeptical about what I would say. But I hope you will listen at least to some advice from the lessons I learned through my experience..

1. You Won’t Always Get Things Done Your Way

Even though it’s hard to admit, you have to engrave this in your brain: “Things don’t always work according to your plan”. Sometimes, deviations are minor, sometimes life-changing. You must always have plan B.

2. Don’t Burn Bridges

You never know who you are going to need in the future. It might be your lecturer, the first boss, a cashier in a coffee-shop near your house. Always remember we live in a small world.

3. Choose the People You Surround Yourself with

Those surrounding you shape you. If you don’t want to act like someone from your inner circle, cross him/her out.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too can become great.” – Mark Twain

4. Learning Is an Everlasting Process

This isn’t just to do with career advice. The more you live, the more you wish you knew more. Keep evolving.

5. Never Postpone Life

Don’t wait until you finish college or start a new job. Time is passing faster than you can imagine. If you don’t learn how to live in the moment, you will never live at all.

6. Care about Your Mind and Body

You are your most precious asset. Don’t ignore red flags. Many problems don’t disappear on their own, no matter how much we wish they did.

7. You Can Say No

You can say “no” to everything. If something provokes stress and anxiety, cut it out from your life. Even if it seems hard, you will thank yourself later. 

8. Trust Your Gut

Your gut is your invisible guide through making decisions. You don’t always have to push yourself in a particular direction if it feels wrong. Advice to myself – say “No” to whatever you want to.

9. Don’t Bottle Up

You deserve to experience life in all its fullness. Emotions – even negative ones – are a part of it. In this letter to myself, I want to highlight that bad emotions aren’t always bad. Without them, we won’t feel the pleasure of good feelings.

10. Forgive

Holding grudges will hardly make your life better, and usually, the only one to suffer is you. Others won’t haul around this weight inside themselves. 

11. You Are Your Greatest Ally and Opponent

You are your best support, and you are your toughest challenge. Overpowering yourself is hard. There is no need to compare your results with others. Be better than you used to be. 

12. Always Stand Up

You will fall down. Unfortunately, this will happen many times. Sometimes these falls will seem fatal. And that’s normal. What you have to learn is to pull yourself together. 

“When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up.” – Les Brown

13. Stay Passionate about What You Do

Whether you are going to open a printing shop or a café, remain passionate. Your inner power will lead to success. You are the only one who can light this flame.

14. Perceive Challenges as an Opportunity

Even a study from Kings College in London proved that positive thinking reduces worry and anxiety. As this letter to myself states, life will hit you hard. You will face many challenges. If you embrace them as an opportunity for improvement, they will be easier to overcome.

15. Acknowledge Your Freedom to Shape Your Life

You are the master of your life. Although you don’t have the power to control the circumstances, you take responsibility for your own response. 

16. Develop Self-Love

This is one of the most crucial things I would say. Love yourself. This way, you won’t need anyone to give you love. This is an unchanging principle of life.

P.S. Note to myself: Even if you don’t follow any of it, you are still wonderful!

Which of the 16 things I shared resonated with you the most and why? Share it in the comments!

Anthony Kreychmar currently works in Fortuna Visual Group as a private psychologist. His main expertise lies in helping people to manage stress and anxiety. He has received a bachelor’s and a master’s degree. He believes that the power of the human-being is concealed in his ability to remain true to himself.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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