Life
Foundation to Flourish: The 4 Stages to Designing Your Perfect Life
Building a life is not something one does with a wandering mind and insecure fears
At fifty-three, I am living my best life – mentally, physically, and professionally. I live in a beautiful home, in a Connecticut town that I love. My only boss is me, as the founder and principal designer of an interior design firm.
I’ve never been more passionate about my work, and a newfound sense of calm flows through my days. I have faced many challenges in my life: divorce, romantic struggles, motherhood and a professional career that has drastically shifted not just once, but twice.
It took me decades to take command as the designer of my life. I realized building a life is not something one does with a wandering mind and insecure fears. Our lives can only be created with real commitment.
Hence, feet — two of them in particular — should be planted firmly in the world in which we want to live.
The world extends outward, from our minds to the space around us. Life is a four-dimensional object, with time included. We can map the territory and plot the land. Our lives are homes we build for ourselves and those we love.
How we feel about ourselves affects how we feel about our surroundings. We must consciously cultivate our internal and external worlds to reflect not just who we want to become—but who we truly are.
Becoming the designer of your own life can be broken into four stages. This can be the work of a lifetime:
- First, the foundations must be laid. This can go as far back as your early childhood and upbringing. Foundational pieces range from your parent’s discipline style to the living environment of your childhood. Your early school and friendship dynamics are critical here. The memories and experiences of our youth leave an imprint in that beginning stage of who you are. Foundations can be first loves, first jobs, or first experiences that drive an inner passion toward the life you want to live.
- Then, the framing will be measured, cut, and established. The framing of one’s life can begin with choices for schooling after high school, a geographic choice for starting your adult life, or an industry selected for a potential career. Finding a person to marry and deciding to have children are also important components to the framing of our lives. These are the walls that will support us through the ups and downs of life.
- From there, the finish work hones in on the smallest details that make all the difference. Developing into a parent and navigating the paths of marriage will require great finish work while you grow and evolve into a more in-depth person. Deciding on a parenting style, and on the critical values you wish to instill in your children, will become the foundations of their lives. Learning how to maintain a sense of self while balancing parenthood and working presents a continual test of our finish work. As careers develop, decisions are often presented that allow for finishing choices with our professions. Management, increased job responsibilities, new career choices, and often new employment locations are all details that help refine our lives. The roles of self-care, nutrition, exercise, and life/work balance all come into play heavily during this stage.
- Finally, we must bring our innate sense of design to life, curating and creating the spaces in which we can thrive. Taking full command of the design of our lives is where the hard work of earlier years often shines through. What life details make us feel that we are truly living? That could be the location of your home, your developed career path that might be ready for a tweak, or a need to focus inward to find a greater sense of peace in your life.
My designed life has led me down a variety of paths.
My foundation started as a child with divorced parents in a household that lacked love and a sense of emotional connection.
The framing of my life was built on a career in sales, two divorces and becoming a mother (my daughter is now 17).
The finish work took shape when I had to learn to decide which should come first: life or career. I started listening to my body and the signs it was giving around my health, both physically and mentally.
The design of my life has enabled me to change careers and start my own interior design business in addition to writing my memoir. This stage has exposed me to the importance of mindset and being the creator of my happiness.
As you reflect on designing your life, your tools are not just hammers, nails, paint, tiles — but chosen family, love, self-care, and wellness. From this, we all can build lives we never imagined possible.
I finally have my fabled “house on the hill,” but it started out looking like a rather patchy piece of empty land. That’s how all things look in the beginning, though, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Just flip your mindset — and that emptiness becomes pure, glowing potential.
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
-
Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
-
Read quality literature in your free time.
-
Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
-
Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
-
Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?
Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.
In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
Change Your Mindset
The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers
Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.
Why Daily Rituals Matter
Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)
Finances
From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow
It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.
The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)
-
Success Advice4 weeks agoInside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)
-
Change Your Mindset4 weeks agoThe One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable
-
Personal Development3 weeks agoThis Silent Habit Might Be Sabotaging Your Career
-
Business3 weeks agoWhy Your E-Commerce Fulfilment Is Probably Broken (And How to Fix It)
-
Shift Your Mindset2 weeks ago11 E’s That Define Every Great Leader And Why Most People Miss Them
-
Did You Know2 weeks agoThe Success Patterns You Inherited (And Didn’t Notice)
-
Business2 weeks agoThe Hidden Money Pit in Your Operations (and How to Use It)
-
Entrepreneurs6 days agoThe Essential Skills Every Entrepreneur Needs In 2026


