Success Advice
Why Self Made is Self Sabotage
There’s this whole status-quo in the business world about “self made”, but honestly what the heck does that even mean? For years I let myself secretly relish in the satisfaction of “doing it all myself” or “on my own” somehow thinking that meant I was guaranteed success, and the glamorous title of “self-made”.
Recently, my business had expanded beyond what I was capable of handling day to day, which had always been the dream; It was time to cross over from one-woman show to boss babe. I had always known someday I would build to the point of having a team, but I never realized what kind of growth and leveling up that was going to require.
While looking at the finances for my business I had a decision to make. I could either invest in a marketing campaign with a very legitimate company that had all sorts of connections, but a company I had no relationship with, or I could temporarily hire a friend who would probably benefit from making a couple extra dollars, work hard for the business, and be blessed by the opportunity to maintain being a stay at home single mom. Though less experienced and less connected, I decided to go with the latter and hire my friend.
For the first 30 days I regularly pep talked myself out of letting her go, and doing it all myself again. Constantly sitting at the kitchen table checking emails with my morning coffee, staring at my computer wondering if she was doing her job, was it going to work, was it going to help, was I throwing my whole budget down the drain.
We decided to take our client spreadsheet and highlight leads that she had communicated with (warm leads) in yellow and closed leads with green. By day 30 we had closed one new client. One, seriously?! That’s it, I definitely needed to pull the plug. I logged onto her business email account to see where I had gone wrong, only to find out she had sent hundreds of emails and made hundreds of calls just as she said. What was I missing, was it me, she was going above and beyond, extremely coachable, hard working and genuinely dedicated to the success of the business, how had we only closed one lead?
For everything that was telling me to put a tag on it and call time of death, there was this equal and opposite nagging thought in my mind. “You wanna be a boss, a CEO, a company? Then you better learn how to delegate and let go, and you better do it now.” Yikes.
“There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others. Every one who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.” – George Adams
Sure enough, I decided to hold out, and one by one each yellow lead that was warm turned green. By day 30 we had only closed one client, but by day 45 we had closed 14 and then 25. I was overwhelmed and humbled as the clients and leads poured in. Each week cold leads turned warm and warm turned closed. It left me to ponder a new question. This time the question wasn’t what had we done wrong, but what had we, what had I, done right.
1. An assistant makes you responsible to someone else
First thing I realized was how much more I was showing up in my own business. It’s so easy to get lazy with maintaining a schedule when you only answer to you. Knowing that someone else was working towards the goal I had been working on alone for so long lit a fire in me unlike anything else. Knowing she would be working on emails, phone calls and spreadsheets right away each day Monday through Friday had me getting up earlier, being more intentional with my time and staying on task better.
2. An assistant gives you a farmer mentality
It also gave me a more clear vision on the future of my business. I had a tendency to have great ideas, and go overkill working on them. Then, if they wouldn’t stick, or weren’t successful in the first go around (much like the clients) I would try to pivot to something else for fear I was wasting my time. Hiring an assistant made me realize the time and patience it was going to take to build a business, and just because it doesn’t manifest right away doesn’t mean it’s not working, or that I’m wasting my time. Just as a plant or a crop goes through a process of being sown, giving it sunshine, water and time, a business requires the same amount of growing season before the harvest.
3. It made me learn how to delegate
I believe this is one of the hardest and most necessary skills to develop as a business owner. Though it’s the best thing for your business, it requires a level of blind trust and comes with unavoidable uncertainty. However, when you can learn how to delegate it will cut your tasks in half and allow you to dedicate more time and attention to the tasks only you can do while delegating tasks that you can have assistance with. When tasks are delegated properly, everything gets done at a faster rate and at a higher quality.
Overall, it improved every aspect of my business and myself. It improved me as a boss and a business owner, it improved the amount and quality of work that gets accomplished each day, and best of all, it gave me a renewed sense of vision for the future of my business.
Forget “self made”, you want to be a success, start with an assistant and watch how it not only transforms your business but yourself as well.
Personal Development
This Silent Habit Might Be Sabotaging Your Career
Your temper might be costing you more at work than you realize. Here’s why it matters.
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The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable
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Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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