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Success Advice

How to Avoid the Hidden Dangers of Self-limiting Beliefs in the Pursuit of Social Proof

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An unspoken requirement for becoming a consultant, speaker or writer is the necessity of building “social proof.” This includes writing for publications like Entrepreneur, Inc., Success Magazine and online multi-author groups such as Addicted2Success, Thrive Global and Leaders In Heels. The list is endless, as are the opportunities to be seen and heard.

The hidden danger in the pursuit of social credibility is allowing your success or failure to become your identity. When you begin comparing yourself to others, wondering why your article wasn’t good enough for an editor you pitched, or worse, when the editor doesn’t bother to respond at all to your submission, you may end up feeling rejected. Rather than learning from the success of others, a failure mindset keeps you focused on your own perceived negatives.

It’s important for you to contribute to and celebrate the wins of others along with keeping yourself and your emotions balanced. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “why not me” when people around you are winning, growing, and reaching their goals while you aren’t. It happens to the strongest of people. How do you keep yourself from falling into the dangerous pit of self-limiting beliefs? It’s not easy, but it is doable.

Follow these tried-and-true methods for maintaining balance and self confidence as you work to build your social credibility:

1. Talk to God

He is the ultimate creator. Jordan Raynor, author of “Called to Create,” says “one of the most beautiful parts of business is providing people with the means to survive, thrive and enjoy God’s good gifts.”

God put us on earth to create, to celebrate, to live out loud. He supports us 100 percent. He doesn’t want us to fall into self-pity, victimhood and failure. When we inevitably do, he pulls us out of despair the moment we ask him to, setting us back on the path to success.

2. Surround yourself with positive people who genuinely want you to achieve your dreams

Sometimes this requires you to go outside your comfort zone. You may have to reach out to people, tell them the goals you are trying to attain, and ask for their support. Your group can include family, friends, or your kids. Online mastermind groups are important, but even more so are the people you can see, touch and connect with.

“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey

3. Build a kick-butt inspirational playlist you can cue up in those times you are feeling less than

Music reaches into your soul. It can renew your spirit while chasing self-doubt from your mind.  Songs connect us to a creative collective of artists who spent years fighting to be heard. Music opens doors, knocks down walls and lifts us up.  

4. If you aren’t already connected to one, find or create your own online mastermind group

Napoleon Hill tells readers of his book, “Think and Grow Rich,” to create a small mastermind group of people with complementary skills, so each individual contributes something unique to the whole. When you collaborate with others, the group contributes to and supports the individual successes of each member.  

5. Surround yourself with affirmations and reminders of past wins to keep you motivated when things get tough

Visual reminders are powerful tools used by the most successful people on the planet. Whether photos of past achievements, a manifesto, diploma, a dream/vision board or Post-Its, positivity drives success.

“When you think positive, good things happen.” – Matt Kemp

6. Practice mindfulness

In comparing yourself to someone else, you inevitably end up stuck in the past or projecting into the future. When your self-talk says, “I’ll never be good enough,” or “I’ve always been a failure,” mindfulness helps you focus on the present. The simple techniques of focusing on your breathing, feeling your feet on the ground, your butt in the chair, and the most powerful tool of all, prayer, bring you into the moment. Creativity only occurs when you live in the present.

7. Make a gratitude list

When you are grateful, it is impossible to feel failure. Gratitude keeps you focused on the goodness in your life. It reminds you of what is possible, rather than your perceived limitations. An appreciative mindset keeps you focused on the positive, creating space in your life for success.

Every day you decide what you will focus on and give your energy to. If you are trying to get published, keep writing while you wait to hear from an editor you’ve already pitched. Find another publication to which you can submit your work. Success comes from the willingness to try, no matter what your present circumstances.

How do you make sure to stay positive and find the success you want? Let us know your tips in the comments below!

My name is Robin Aldrich. Personal development is my passion. Motivating individuals and companies to become better versions of themselves is my mission. Helping organizations design creative solutions in the area of customer and employee relationships, and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship, is my job. I've failed and succeeded, lost one company, then started another on a crazy-skinny budget and wound up with $1M annually in sales. You can find me on Facebook and my website.

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Personal Development

This Silent Habit Might Be Sabotaging Your Career

Your temper might be costing you more at work than you realize. Here’s why it matters.

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The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable

True leaders don’t just speak their values, they live them, proving that integrity is the foundation of lasting influence.

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Leadership isn’t defined by titles, speeches, or charisma; it’s defined by action. The most respected leaders in history didn’t just preach their values; they lived them. (more…)

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Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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