Life
You Are Where You Deserve To Be…….. Here’s Why!

Why don’t we have the things that we want? Ever think it’s because we don’t deserve it?
Of course we don’t. “I deserve what I want. I work harder than the kid driving a Lambo because his dad’s a millionaire. What did he do to get that car? Nothing! Am I right?”
Nope. I don’t deserve the Lambo because I haven’t done what I need to do to get the Lambo. That kid did exactly what he needed to do; he came out of the right lady, and was born into the right family. What he doesn’t have: the opportunity to EARN the Lamborghini… more on that in a bit.
We spend so much time wishing and complaining, that we fail to come to grips with the fact that we have everything that we deserve to have. We’re as happy as we should be because our attitude and outlook on life determines our happiness.
We’re as successful as we deserve to be because we’ve put in the amount of work that determines the amount of success we’ve achieved. We’ve also risked and sacrificed what is necessary to be where we are. No more successful, and no less successful than we are right now.
We’ve done what’s necessary to be where we are at this very moment. We HAVEN’T done what’s necessary to achieve everything we want to achieve. Otherwise, we’d be there.
Now what about the spoiled rich kid driving that Lambo… Why shouldn’t we be pissed off at him from being born with a silver spoon while we have to work our asses off for everything we want? Or what about our buddy who has had everything go his way in life; don’t we have the right to be mad at him?! We’re slaving away here, and he’s off in South America living the good life, that lucky son of a bitch.
Yah, we have that right if we want to be a sour, jealous, shadow of a man for the rest of our lives… on second thought, no we don’t have that right. But we do have an opportunity. A great opportunity.
The kid with the Lambo and the silver spoon will never have the greatest opportunity a man can ever have: the chance to elevate his status, to work hard, and to EARN. I have this opportunity. This gift. This blessing. And so do you.
We can be sour, mad, and jealous of our buddy who’s had some good breaks. But will he feel the same towards us when we achieve our success? Probably not, he’s a good dude.
So where do we stand?
Exactly where we deserve to be standing.
Success, no matter how you define it isn’t a right. It’s something that has to be earned. Wherever we are right now in life is where we deserve to be.
Sometimes it sucks to say this because some very hard working and deserving people don’t get the breaks that others get. Sometimes this leads to a change in attitude or a break in their faith. The shaken faith can lead to a lack of hope. The lack of hope can lead to poor decision making, which can lead to more bad breaks ending in a life that had promise, but was never realized.
We are never put under circumstances that we can’t handle. Believe it?
If you do, when time’s get tough and life seems unfair, you’ll know that you can handle it. That no matter how dark life gets, it’s nothing but a passing phase. Like the night is before daybreak. The darkness will always pass if you’re strong enough to stand through it.
If you don’t believe it. If you instead become angry that life isn’t going your way. If you resent other’s success and hate the world for the lack of your own, the darkness will never cease until you decide to change how you view it.
Yes, we are where we deserve to be. Even more, we are where we’re supposed to be.
No higher. No lower.
Only you can create the change that will determine the most important position: where you end up.
Life
The Imbalanced Problem with Work/Life Balance
Balancing is for your checkbook, gymnastics, and nutrition; not for your people’s work/life ratio.

Balance…it requires an equal distribution of value between two or more subjects to maintain steady composure and equitable proportionality. (more…)

It’s 2023, a new year, new you, right? But how do we start over? How do we make the changes in our lives that we crave so much to see? (more…)
Life
Failing is More Important Than Succeeding
Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures.

People often consider failure a stigma. Society often doesn’t respect the people who failed and avoids and criticizes their actions. Failure is an integral part of life as life is incomplete without failures. Not to have endeavored is worse than failing in life as at some stage of your life you regret not having tried in your life. (more…)
Life
5 Indicators of Unresolved Attachment Trauma

Trauma caused during specific stages of a child’s development, known as attachment trauma, can have lasting effects on a person’s sense of safety, security, predictability, and trust. This type of trauma is often the result of abuse, neglect, or inconsistent care from a primary caregiver.
Individuals who have not fully processed attachment trauma may display similar patterns of behavior and physical or psychological symptoms that negatively impact their adult lives, including the choices they make in relationships and business.
Unfortunately, many people may not even be aware that they are struggling with trauma. Research estimates that 6% of the population will experience PTSD in their lifetime, with a majority of males and females having experienced significant trauma.
Unresolved attachment trauma can significantly impair the overall quality of a person’s life, including their ability to form healthy relationships and make positive choices for themselves. One well-known effect of unhealed attachment trauma is the compulsion to repeat past wounds by unconsciously selecting romantic partners who trigger their developmental trauma.
However, there are other less recognized but equally detrimental signs of unprocessed developmental trauma.
Five possible indications of unresolved attachment trauma are:
1. Unconscious Sabotage
Self-sabotage is a common pattern among individuals with unprocessed attachment trauma. This cycle often begins with hurting others, which is then followed by hurting oneself. It is also common for those with attachment trauma to have heightened emotional sensitivity, which can trigger this cycle.
This pattern can manifest in lashing out, shutting down, or impulsive behavior that leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Many people with attachment trauma are not aware of their wounds and operate on survival mode, unconsciously testing or challenging the emotional investment of those around them, and pushing them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment.
This can lead to a pattern of making poor choices for themselves based on impulsivity.
3. Behaviors That Block Out Trauma
4. A strong need for control
5. Psychological Symptoms That Are Not Explained
What to do next if you’re suffering from emotional attachment trauma?
There are several ways that people can work to overcome emotional attachment trauma:
- Therapy: One of the most effective ways to overcome emotional attachment trauma is through therapy. A therapist can help you process your experiences, understand the impact of your trauma on your life, and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms.
- Support groups: Joining a support group of people who have had similar experiences can be a great way to find validation, empathy, and a sense of community.
- Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation, pilates, prayer time with God or journaling can help you become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations, and develop a sense of spiritual connection and self-regulation.
- Trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): This is a type of therapy that is specifically designed to help individuals process and recover from traumatic events.
- Building a safety net: Building a support system of people you trust, who are there for you when you need them, can help you feel more secure and safe in your life.
It’s important to remember that healing from emotional attachment trauma is a process and it may take time. It’s also important to find a therapist who is experienced in treating trauma, who you feel comfortable talking with, and who can help you develop a personalized treatment plan.
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