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Why The Stories You Tell Yourself Matter – The Secret Successful People Know

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Most of our time spent speaking is with ourselves – in our head. The conversations are typically in the form of stories that we tell ourselves about situations or things people have said. These seemingly unimportant conversations are one of the fundamental pillars of success.

These stories form increasing levels of positive or negative feelings that fuel our success. Becoming consciously aware of them and then using them to our advantage is an art in itself. It’s art worth mastering though because the conversations we have in our head can bring us so much happiness when we become aware of how to shape them.

Whether you tell yourself you’re right or wrong, you are correct. The brain can’t tell the difference, and it believes what you say. So why wouldn’t you use this to your advantage and tell your brain little white lies to help you develop and become the person you have always wanted to be?

Below are the 4 reasons the stories we tell ourselves matter:

1. We become the stories we tell ourselves

Who we are is a result of our own personal story. The writer of your story is you. So if you write the story, then why can’t you give it a positive meaning? Well, the best part is you can. Ten minutes before writing this article, I got pulled over by the police.

Their big red and blue flashing lights never seem to make you feel good. As the officer came over to me, he asked me what I was up to, and I told him I was on my way to buy foreign currency for my overseas trip. I then told him where I was going and how excited I was.

I looked him in the eye and told him my inspiring story and mentioned how I had thirty minutes to get to my appointment. The officer then asked for my license and for me to do a breath test. Once I handed over my license he went back to his car to do the usual checks and within thirty seconds he came back and said everything was fine.

He told me to have lots of fun on my trip, and he seemed more cheerful than when I first met him. Normally the checks take five minutes, but this officer didn’t feel the need; he even forgot to breathalyze me (not that there was any point because I’ve already given up drinking).

I then went to arrange my foreign currency account and the place I went to told me that they had sold out of what I needed. This was the second day in a row that this had happened to me.

So, instead of doing pissed off (pissed off is something we act out), I walked back to the car and told myself that it was all good. The reason it was all good to me was that I got to drive around and listen to my favorite podcast, and I got to meet a cool new cop.

As a result of my holiday story, I got myself out of any trouble with the police officer and also made his, and my own day. What I want you to see is that the stories we tell ourself are so important. Being pulled over by the cops and wasting half a day could seem frustrating, but the story I told myself was one of meeting new people, relaxation, and a day of fun. Did I forget to mention it was pouring with rain the whole time!

Think carefully about the stories you are telling yourself and realise that you will become the lead character in your stories. Do you want to be the superhero or the deadbeat loser who is always upset and hates the world?

2. Stories form our view of the world

Right now there are wars, terrorist attacks, kidnapping and a range of other horrible events. There are also people achieving their sporting dream, winning in business, and watching their kids grow up to be leaders.

“The stories you tell yourself about your life, and what you focus on, forms your tailored view of the world” – Tim Denning

3. We decide which stories we believe – stories are a choice

No story that you hear is true or false. Every story matches the truth that you give it. This simple decision of whether you are going to make a story true of false is up to you. It could be seen as nothing more than a flip of a coin.

This 50/50 chance determines whether you win the lottery of life or end up broke and alone. Choose to put your energy and your trust behind the stories that lift you up and give you spine tingling moments.

Spend time with people that have stories which inspire you. Use stories as part of your education and seek out the high-achievers in each field to tell you their stories from their perspective. Mold the perspective of winners into your story.

Before you forget, though, use these stories and the new beliefs you have got from them to inspire others who haven’t discovered your wisdom yet. Don’t be selfish and share your stories.

“Stories are one of the best currencies you have”

4. Your limitations are connected to your stories

One of my perceived limitations currently is public speaking. This limitation comes from a broken belief that somehow I can speak fine in front of fifty people but put me in front of two hundred and I can’t. Why is that?

The only difference between the two numbers is a few extra people. How can a few more bodies in a room stop you from spreading your inspiring message? It can’t. After a lot of study, I now know that this dilemma is caused by a repetitive story in my head that says I am unable to do it.

Any skill can be acquired, and our brain is malleable no matter how old we are. The way to fix a limitation in your life is to change your story. Like the editor of a movie, you have to get into the heart of this BS story and edit out the disempowering parts. Then, replace these parts with stories that confirm that you can do the perceived limitation.

Now when I speak publicly I tell myself the following chapters of a new story:

– What I have to say is inspiring and valuable
– People think I am good at it when I practice
– The more I practice, the better I become
– I was made to do this

Through this simple flip in my story, I’m well on the way to overcoming this limitation. Your story about your limitations is tied to your goals. Unless you create new stories or rewrite the old one’s, you’ll be stuck with the results of the past.

“If you consistently whack yourself over the head with stories of times when you failed then your brain will default to its comfortable state of indecision and doing nothing”

It’s easy to do nothing, and it’s hard to grow as a person without any effort or energy.

For a period of twenty-four hours I want you to write down all the stories you tell yourself. At the end of the twenty-four hours have a look at them all and read them back to yourself. Ask yourself the question, are these stories moving me forward or holding me back. You’re already smart and more powerful than you think – trust me.

What stories do you tell yourself? Let me know in the comments section below or on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
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Success Advice

Mastering Self-Management for Success: Lessons From Peter F. Drucker

With careers no longer following a straight, predictable path, self-awareness and adaptability are essential for success.

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Peter f drucker lessons
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In today’s dynamic professional world, self-management has become increasingly important. With careers no longer following a straight, predictable path, self-awareness and adaptability are essential for success. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Ignite the Spark Within for Future Success

All of us come to this world with our own reserve of magic unfortunately, not everyone can unleash it

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Igniting your spark
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What is it that makes some people great leaders while others remain followers? What magic do they have that others don’t? What special blessing gives them the power to bring significant change?  (more…)

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Success Advice

How Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success

Your life is dictated by beliefs and biases that drive your thinking, behaviors, and decisions

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Your Beliefs Can Supercharge or Sabotage Your Success (1)
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Pause for a moment and ponder two pandemic-era beliefs: First, closing schools will control the spread of a serious virus. Second, the consequences of such school closures—particularly social interruption and the prevention of immunity—are worse than becoming sick with the virus. (more…)

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Success Advice

How to Break the Cycles of Mediocrity and Manifest Your Greatness

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In just a few weeks, we will be wrapping up 2023. Can you believe it? This year has been absolutely incredible for me.

I have seen amazing doors opened, new relationships formed and I am seeing dreams realized in my life. While this seems like the hallmarks of a great year, this has also been the most challenging year of my life. With all of the change happening in my life, I have been forced out of my comfort zone and challenged to grow in every area of my life.

I can truly say that I have made the most of my moments this year and I have used everything as a catalyst for maximizing my greatest potential.

As a revolutionary leader, I have the pleasure of consulting and advising leaders around the world to fulfill purpose, realize their greatest potential and make an impact.

I want to share some insights with you that will help you to break cycles of mediocrity and manifest your greatness

Everything legal must come through the matrix

I am sure that some of you are wondering why I am using the term matrix. However, what you have to understand is that I am trying to make a highly complex spiritual principle practical to understand.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, every life has an origin and I believe that origin is divine and begins with eternity. You are birthed from eternity and into time to fulfill a unique purpose and assignment in your lifetime and generation.

The matrix is simply the portal or vehicle that brings something out of the invisible realm and into tangible form. The problem with much of the teaching today is that it excludes the matrix. We are told to believe that success is instantaneous and overnight.

Nobody talks about how a dream progresses through stages beginning with visualization and ultimately culminating in manifestation. Without a matrix or portal then everything that you attempt to birth and build will be illegal.

The matrix not only makes you legal but it gives you the authority and power to function as the greatest expression of who you were created to be. 

Every matrix has an incubation process

While many people admire and respect me today, I remember a time when nobody knew who I was or the significance of my message. How did I get to where I am today? I got here through an incubation process.

In other words, everything that has been destined for your life is incubating and awaiting a set time of manifestation. The problem is that most people live their entire lives idle and never initiate the incubation process.

What do I meany by that? Most people are living reckless and very few people are living intentionally. I am amazed at the number of people I have conversations with that have no vision, goals or strategies for their lives. They show great promise and they have undeniable potential.

However, without development they will die with their dreams still in them.

Everything that has been destined for your life must be incubated and converted to become realities born to time. 

“Visualize this thing that you want, see it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin to build.” – Robert Collier

You must give expression to that which is not yet born to time

When you think about a matrix or a prophetic incubation process, you have to understand that potential is often unrealized and untapped. In other words, your potential is in raw form and your potential cannot serve you as long as it is untapped.

The thing that makes me valuable is that I have the ability to convert potential into power. I have done it in my own life and I have empowered leaders around the world to do the same. How do you convert potential into power?

First, it is important to note that you have to perceive potential. If you cannot perceive your potential then you can never cultivate your potential. In addition, you must take the time to cultivate your potential. We often get excited about our capabilities; however, we never expand our capacity in order to realize our greatest potential.

In other words, the strength of your potential is only discovered through your willingness to stretch. The more we are challenged the more we are empowered to expand our capacity for greatness. Most of all, you must begin to express your potential. The expression of potential is different for every person.

For example, the expression of my potential is best demonstrated through the thoughts, ideas, products, services, books, etc.

For another person the expression of potential may look like a screenplay, artwork, sports, scientific discoveries, medical breakthroughs, etc.

Regardless of the form of expression, I know that you will live empty and unfulfilled until you make the decision to express your potential. The expression of your potential gives voice to your dreams, life to your vision, significance to your moments and activates your true power.

You must manifest your greatness

As a revolutionary thinker and leader, my work has impacted people around the world. I am grateful that my life is a source of empowerment to so many people. However, before anyone could ever benefit from my life, I had to make a non-negotiable decision to become who I was born to be.

I wish I could tell you that this journey is easy and that you will get there overnight. However, in a world that celebrates us for doing we are often criticized for being. As a result, I wasted a lot of time trying to be who other people wanted me to be instead of being who I was born to be.

There is no greatness without becoming and there is no becoming with authenticity. It is through our bravery to be vulnerable that we ultimately manifest our greatness. We do not bless the world by being a duplicate. We bless the world when we honor our difference. When you honor your difference you honor your potential.

Ultimately, your difference is how you manifest your greatness.

When you present anything but your authentic self to the world, you are playing small and you are robbing the world of your significance. Manifesting your greatness requires you to master your gifts.

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