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Why Self Made is Self Sabotage

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There’s this whole status-quo in the business world about “self made”, but honestly what the heck does that even mean? For years I let myself secretly relish in the satisfaction of “doing it all myself” or “on my own” somehow thinking that meant I was guaranteed success, and the glamorous title of “self-made”.

Recently, my business had expanded beyond what I was capable of handling day to day, which had always been the dream; It was time to cross over from one-woman show to boss babe. I had always known someday I would build to the point of having a team, but I never realized what kind of growth and leveling up that was going to require. 

While looking at the finances for my business I had a decision to make. I could either invest in a marketing campaign with a very legitimate company that had all sorts of connections, but a company I had no relationship with, or I could temporarily hire a friend who would probably benefit from making a couple extra dollars, work hard for the business, and be blessed by the opportunity to maintain being a stay at home single mom. Though less experienced and less connected, I decided to go with the latter and hire my friend. 

For the first 30 days I regularly pep talked myself out of letting her go, and doing it all myself again. Constantly sitting at the kitchen table checking emails with my morning coffee, staring at my computer wondering if she was doing her job, was it going to work, was it going to help, was I throwing my whole budget down the drain. 

We decided to take our client spreadsheet and highlight leads that she had communicated with (warm leads) in yellow and closed leads with green. By day 30 we had closed one new client. One, seriously?! That’s it, I definitely needed to pull the plug. I logged onto her business email account to see where I had gone wrong, only to find out she had sent hundreds of emails and made hundreds of calls just as she said. What was I missing, was it me, she was going above and beyond, extremely coachable, hard working and genuinely dedicated to the success of the business, how had we only closed one lead?

For everything that was telling me to put a tag on it and call time of death, there was this equal and opposite nagging thought in my mind. “You wanna be a boss, a CEO, a company? Then you better learn how to delegate and let go, and you better do it now.” Yikes.

“There is no such thing as a self-made man. We are made up of thousands of others. Every one who has ever done a kind deed for us, or spoken one word of encouragement to us, has entered into the make up of our character and of our thoughts, as well as our success.” – George Adams

Sure enough, I decided to hold out, and one by one each yellow lead that was warm turned green. By day 30 we had only closed one client, but by day 45 we had closed 14 and then 25. I was overwhelmed and humbled as the clients and leads poured in. Each week cold leads turned warm and warm turned closed. It left me to ponder a new question. This time the question wasn’t what had we done wrong, but what had we, what had I, done right. 

1. An assistant makes you responsible to someone else

First thing I realized was how much more I was showing up in my own business. It’s so easy to get lazy with maintaining a schedule when you only answer to you. Knowing that someone else was working towards the goal I had been working on alone for so long lit a fire in me unlike anything else. Knowing she would be working on emails, phone calls and spreadsheets right away each day Monday through Friday had me getting up earlier, being more intentional with my time and staying on task better.

2. An assistant gives you a farmer mentality

It also gave me a more clear vision on the future of my business. I had a tendency to have great ideas, and go overkill working on them. Then, if they wouldn’t stick, or weren’t successful in the first go around (much like the clients) I would try to pivot to something else for fear I was wasting my time. Hiring an assistant made me realize the time and patience it was going to take to build a business, and just because it doesn’t manifest right away doesn’t mean it’s not working, or that I’m wasting my time. Just as a plant or a crop goes through a process of being sown, giving it sunshine, water and time, a business requires the same amount of growing season before the harvest. 

3. It made me learn how to delegate

I believe this is one of the hardest and most necessary skills to develop as a business owner. Though it’s the best thing for your business, it requires a level of blind trust and comes with unavoidable uncertainty. However, when you can learn how to delegate it will cut your tasks in half and allow you to dedicate more time and attention to the tasks only you can do while delegating tasks that you can have assistance with. When tasks are delegated properly, everything gets done at a faster rate and at a higher quality.

Overall, it improved every aspect of my business and myself. It improved me as a boss and a business owner, it improved the amount and quality of work that gets accomplished each day, and best of all, it gave me a renewed sense of vision for the future of my business.

Forget “self made”, you want to be a success, start with an assistant and watch how it not only transforms your business but yourself as well.

Alaura Lovelight is a dynamic RnB singer, TV producer, host, and sought-after Conscious Creative expert. With a passion for empowering creatives and business professionals, Alaura helps transform creative energy into thriving online streams of income. Her work goes beyond strategy—she’s dedicated to guiding individuals in unlocking their true potential, shifting mindsets, and embracing their worthiness to design a life they truly love. 💫 Ready to turn your passion into profit? Click here to learn more about these strategies.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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Success Advice

What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)

Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

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leadership tips for new CEO
Image Credit: Midjourney

When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
Image Credit: Midjourney

In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

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entrepreneurial leadership skills and traits
Image Credit: Midjourney

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