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Success Advice

Want Followers? The 4 Things You Have To Know About Leadership

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As a speaker and consultant I meet a lot of new people over the course of a year. Every single one of them is different but the start of our conversations is always the same.

There are only two questions people ever ask me when we first meet.

Unless we are in France, or a French speaking country, the first question is normally “how do you pronounce your name?”  If you’re interested it’s like “go be yo”. I sometimes wish it was “go be you” to enable me to play on that theme as part of my leadership development practice, but my forbearers did not anticipate my chosen career so I missed out on the “u”.

The second question normally comes after they have found out what I do for a living. At that stage, what most people really want to know is “what do great leaders do?” I don’t blame them. I have devoted the last 15 years of my life trying to find out the answer.  However, in that search, I have also realised that it is the wrong question.

There is a question that comes before what do great leaders do and that is “what’s a leader?” The answer is simple; “someone who is followed”. This being the case, the most important person in the equation is the follower. A great leader is someone who manages to have a great many followers, prepared to give up some of their freedom to act, in search of something greater than they can achieve alone.

When looked at it in that way, forget “what do great leaders do?”; the key question becomes “what do great followers want?” With that question we can explain why seemingly different people become great leaders. We no longer have to hope we can be “like somebody” but rather can feel free to explore what we are like when we are at our best. Development stops being about aping someone else and starts becoming about being a better, more skilled version of ourselves in the service of our followers.

When we make the switch from the “great leaders” to the “great followers” question we no longer need a model of what we ought to be but rather a set of principles that will help us to find out who we truly can be.

Having worked to support others in that search for over a decade there are four things I know to be true.

 

1 – THERE’S A TICK IN “AUTHENTICK”

I have always been appalled by trite business sayings like ‘there’s no I in team’ (there should be) and ‘assume makes an ass of you and me’ (it doesn’t). Yet I admit to being fascinated by their staying power. So for the last decade I have been trying to come up with my own. So here goes “There’s a Tick, in authentick”. It may be bad but it makes the point!

That point is that leadership is entirely dependent on authenticity.  You will always sub-optimize your impact if you try to be someone other than yourself. And you cannot be authentic if you don’t understand what makes you tick. To be yourself you have to know yourself and what you stand for.

 

2 – SURROUND BUT DON’T SURRENDER

People are always keen on giving advice. Everyone has a view or opinion they like to share. Even if you are high up in an organization and the people below you find it hard to give you feedback, peers, analysts and shareholders are never shy at dispensing their wisdom.

While surrounding yourself with advisers enlarges your view, you should not surrender to their advice.  It is your leadership, your principles and your points of view that matter. Becoming a mouthpiece for the conflicting views of others or acting purely as a curator for those views is a sure way to fail in engaging others.

This is the hardest balancing act of leadership. We shouldn’t be stubborn when faced with a reality that questions the very essence of our views. Yet we must remember that it is only reconciliation, never compromise, that is necessary.

 

3 – THINK MADONNA AND CHILD

The key to success lies in our ability to achieve our goal of attracting others whilst remaining true to ourselves. I have developed a simple test for self-regulation which I call the madonna and child principle.

If your mother (the madonna) would be ashamed of whatever you are considering doing, or if you can’t explain it to a six-year-old (the child), or both, then don’t do it.

Effective leadership relies on a strong moral compass (the madonna test) and clarity of your intent (the child test).  The madonna and child test preserves your integrity and, in tandem with my next and last “truth”, should enable you to make the most critical of development decisions and choices.

 

4 – BUY AN EGG TIMER

To understand who you are you need to reflect. Whilst you can think quickly, reflection takes time. I am not advocating a retreat or a long reflective walk, although I would if I thought you might do it. What I am advocating instead is developing an ability to think things through in the moment.

So buy an egg timer and put it on your desk. Don’t try to get away with a watch or a guess – there is something powerful in the novelty and physicality of the egg timer. It also helps you signal in a playful way to others around you that you are thinking and value this thinking time. When faced with a decision to make, turn over the egg timer.

 

Thanks for reading this and I hope we meet someday. And when we do, don’t worry about the “go be yo”, Emmanuel will do just fine, and if you struggle with that one, blame my parents and just call me E.

Emmanuel Gobillot is a senior practitioner in the area of leadership and organization effectiveness. He is a leadership development consultant with a wide range of corporate clients. Before setting up his own business to focus on writing, speaking and consulting, Gobillot was a Director at Hay group where he headed both the consumer sector and the leadership services practice. He is also the author of Follow the Leader, Leadershift and The Connected Leader, all published by Kogan Page.

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Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

A viral TikTok resume trick promises interviews overnight, yet one wrong move could blacklist you from future jobs.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen

Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.

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Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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