Success Advice
The Five People Rule and How to Use It for Success
When I was managing a large number of salespeople I would often tell them the way to increase sales revolved around the understanding of a technique I called, the five people rule. Very briefly, it states that if you line up five people shoulder to shoulder and asked all five their opinion of you, one will hate you, one will love you, and three will be indifferent.
The person that hates you may have any number of reasons for doing so. Perhaps they don’t like the way you look, the way you dress, or the way you talk. Maybe it’s the way you assert yourself publicly. Perhaps you’ve wronged them at some point or wronged a member of their family or their organization. Maybe their mother didn’t like your mother. Perhaps you did absolutely nothing! And this person simply doesn’t like you!
The person that loves you may do so for number of reasons. Perhaps the both of you are two suits, or two dresses, cut from the same cloth. (Your behaviors mirror each other!) You just get along famously with each other and like being in each other’s company. Perhaps you’ve done them a favor in the past; or got them or a member of their family a job. Perhaps, in this case, you made no overt attempts to be liked by this person, but they do like you anyway; it’s just you!
In either case it really doesn’t matter. The fact of the matter is as we go about in our lives some people will naturally like us, and some people will naturally dislike us. The real goal here is to look at the three people that are indifferent to you. Because if you can get just one of them on the “love you” side, then you have doubled the proportion of people who like you versus dislike you.
Obviously, in sales this is very important, since people buy from people that they know, like, and trust. But, in everyday life this is important also not just because we can increase your circle of influence but it’s always nice to have people like you instead of disliking you.
So, the question becomes how can we gain enough of an understanding of our own behavior to tip the scales in our favor of other people’s opinions of us?
Here are a few ideas that I shared with salespeople and clients over the years, and I hope you can use them also in general interpersonal communication skills:
- Analyze why the individual that doesn’t like you feels that way – There’s a very good possibility that you don’t like them either. Throw those feelings into the mix, and answer the question, “Based on this information what can I change about my behavior?” Please note, it’s not about the other person changing, it’s about you changing! The goal here is that if you change perhaps you can get the other person to change.
- Analyze why the individual that likes you feels that way – How do you act and behave that endears you to this person? Is it possible to duplicate those behaviors with a different person?
- Of the three individuals that are indifferent, which person do you think you would have an easier time behaving in such a way that they start to like you? – That’s the one you want to attract to you first. Since you feel that they are the most favorable to you, it’s like picking a piece of low hanging fruit! Based upon the knowledge you got from answering questions one and two you should be able to alter your behavior in such a way that would allow that one individual to come over to your way of thinking.
- Forgive the individual that doesn’t like you – It really doesn’t matter why they don’t like you, just forgive them. There are no justified resentments! By forgiving that individual you remove all of the psyche rust that is keeping you from having other people like you (and you liking them). When you begin to understand that every word that comes from someone’s mouth is truly a prayer about themselves, regardless of who the subject is, the person that doesn’t like you is really showing an outward manifestation of their internal reflection. It’s not you! Forgive them.
- If by chance, you behave in such a way that wronged that person who was holding something against you, forgive yourself – It is impossible to forgive someone else until you have allowed yourself the same privilege and honor. The past cannot be retraced. And the past does not necessarily have to be trajectory toward the future. If you can make it up to them, do so. If not forgive them and you and move on.
- Have a mindset of always expecting the best in any interpersonal situation – Like everyone; and expect everyone to like you. That will begin to set up imperceptible behaviors, all fueled by your self-conscious mind that will attract others to you in a likable manner.
Think about other strategies you can incorporate to make the five people rule work for you. Share them! We want to hear what you have to say. Write your comments below.
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These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident
Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.
Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.
But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.
Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.
1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task
Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.
After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.
Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.
But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.
2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First
Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.
Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”
For example, if you’re a writer:
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Research your topic at night.
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Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).
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Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.
You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.
3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace
Focus is the foundation of success.
According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.
Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.
Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life
Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”
This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.
If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.
5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills
Knowledge compounds over time.
Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.
I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.
Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.
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A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.
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A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.
Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.
7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You
I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.
If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.
Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.
Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.
8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions
Good mentors can fast-track your growth.
While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.
If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.
9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations
Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”
Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.
When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.
10. Focus on Your Strengths
Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.
If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.
A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.
Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.
11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Your beliefs shape your reality.
For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.
Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.
Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.
Final Thoughts
Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.
Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.
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