I found myself recently having to deal with a total a$$. All I did was send a short email to confirm I was doing the right thing in relation to a small matter. The intent was to be respectful and brief.

This guy sends me back a rude email that doesn’t answer my question and insinuates that I’m trying to self-promote myself and another person. Clearly, this person doesn’t read my blog posts or understand my mantra: “Success is not about you.”

Given that this person holds one of the many keys to my success, I was temporarily defeated. They took the wind out of my sail for a few brief moments. That’s until the personal development program that’s stored in my brain kicked in.

Before I knew it, I had broken the effect of the a$$ pattern, taken a chill pill, and made the decision not to be an a$$ back. None of this was easy, but success never is. It takes discipline and an outside view of what your senses are experiencing to gain a positive perspective.

Our initial internal reaction to an a$$ is not what matters; it’s the actions towards the other person that can empower us or ruin our mindset. I’ve since responded to this a$$ and not heard back. I’ve already decided to go around them and find someone else who can help me get the same results. There’s always another way.

Here are some quick tips for dealing with a$$’s like this turd burger:

1. Don’t become one yourself

The worst thing you can do is respond to an a$$ by becoming one yourself. It was so tempting for me to reply to this email with some smart-ass response like, “Check out my blog posts you twerp! You’re wrong.”

Reacting to negativity like this is playing the short game. The key is to do nothing initially. Let the negative emotions subside and pretend for a second that the previous correspondence was a mistake.

“How you react is a reflection of you, not the a$$ you’re dealing with”

2. Talk nicely

It’s damn tempting to reply to nasty words with your own repertoire (I know mine’s very long..haha). Fighting fire with fire will only make the situation worse. The best way to diffuse an a$$ is to do the opposite of what they’re doing. Kill them with niceness.

A true a$$ can’t stay as one when you don’t acknowledge their status. Their “a$$ status” is what defines them and being kind to them is not something they know how to deal with. It’s because they haven’t dealt with their demons, that they’ve become an a$$ in the first place.

Maybe you can help them deal with their problems? I know it can be hard, so sometimes it’s better to stay away. Grab a roll of Police Tape, corner off the area, and stay the heck away. Find someone else who can help you achieve the same goal.

What I’ve realized is that when an a$$ is blocking your way, there is always another person that can be the shining light to a different route towards your success. The problem is not you just remember that!

3. Assume they have a big ego

A$$’s want you to get angry and stroke their ego. The reason they’re an a$$ in the first place is that their ego is out of control. They’ve forgotten how unimportant they are in the scheme of the entire universe.

Our ego is what can make us think we’re more successful and beautiful than we are. No matter how well things are going and you’re social status in society, remember that it can all disappear overnight. Eventually, someone is going to report the a$$ you’re dealing with to someone who holds power over them.

We all have someone who holds us accountable. Finding an a$$’s accountability partner is the best way to snap them out of their trance. It’s not about revenge; it’s about helping them to be successful in the long term.

4. A$$’s make a lot of assumptions

The key trait of an a$$ is that they make a lot of assumptions. They assume that you intended on something you did not. It’s their assumptions that have caused their mind to lose track of reality. When we assume, we draw conclusions that are complete delusions.

This is why a$$’s seem so crazy because they’re borderline delusional. To overcome an a$$’s assumptions, challenge them. Find out what they’ve assumed about you and then bust their myths to pieces with cold hard facts. Do so in a polite, non-emotional way.

It’s about letting the truth shine through and not being chained down by their unfair treatment of you and your situation. Forget sympathy; fight for what’s right instead. A$$’s are weak at heart, and you can either enhance their weakness further or suppress it and be the positive change they need in their life.

When an a$$ has made assumptions about me, I’ve often made the mistake of making assumptions back. By playing the assumption game, we run the risk of becoming an a$$ ourselves.

“An a$$ wants to multiply their population, so they stop feeling lonely. You can either be the sperm to their egg or the eradicator of their disease”

My hope is that you’ll make the right choice and not become an a$$. The A$$ Academy is growing thanks to the Internet, and so we need to be even more diligent than ever not to become one accidentally.

The a$$ trap comes with a whole host of inclusions that none of us want like: no love, no emotion, an ugly ego, and a smile like the devil. Choose hope! Choose love! Choose compassion!

How do you deal with a$$’s? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.