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Success Advice

How To Think, To Get What You Want

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get what you want
Joel Brown

You’ve probably experienced this at least one time in your life already.

You meet someone who is incredibly successful and then discover they are the same age as you… (or younger!)

Or you bump into an old school friend and they have everything you’ve ever wanted. Or maybe you’ve been reading something in the media and learn about ANOTHER successful entrepreneur hitting the jackpot with an idea you’ve kicked around in the past – and you wish that it could have been you.

And it’s not like you’re short of ideas.

It’s not like you’re not driven and inspired.

It also not as if you don’t work hard, either.

So what is it?

What is it that makes the difference between those people who thrive and ALWAYS seem to get what they want, and those who struggle forever, never quite making the big time?

Well the answer is pretty straight forward really. But don’t be fooled by its simplicity. This is what takes us out of the game…

The truth about creating what you want in your world all comes down to your thoughts.

 

Successful People Think Only About What They Want

Think about it: when you have something important coming up where you want everything to go perfectly, you’ve probably also had the tendency to go through all the things that could possibly go wrong in your head. And without realising it, this very act isn’t giving you scope for a contingency plan, as you may assume… It’s actually increasing the chances of it all going wrong.

And if you do have a tendency to do this on some level – you are not alone.

Often in introductory coaching sessions I ask people what they want, and often they’ll spend a lot of time and energy telling me what they *don’t* want.

We all spend a huge amount of time, thinking about what could go wrong, pushing against it to try to will it not to happen, and fighting the outcomes that we don’t want…

And sure, we don’t want to have bad stuff happen to us, so it’s good to take reasonable precautions. But always thinking the thoughts of what we don’t want, actually pulls them into our experience.

Let me say that again… because this is important:

Thinking about what we don’t want actually makes it more likely to happen! ReTweet This

 

And then there are your subconscious thoughts too, i.e. all the thoughts that you’re not looking at! These also count towards what is created in reality.

Most of the time what we’re creating, we’re not doing it consciously… so whatever is in our subconscious is what shows up in our world… namely our fears and frustrations. Have you ever noticed how once one bad thing happens, and you dwell on those negative thoughts, something else bad happens?

And if you have a mixture of thoughts, what you end up creating is a hotch-potch  of the sum total of them.

But it’s not your fault.

 

We’re Not In Control Of Our Thinking

The root cause of the problem is that most of us, most of the time, are not in control of our own thinking. We are at the mercy of programmes (the thinking habits) we’ve been running since childhood… And what is worse, we’re completely unaware of them.

Sure, maybe we’re aware on some intellectual level that we create and re-create the same situations again and again. If we have problems with our work colleagues, then moving jobs probably isn’t going to solve the problem, because we’ll still take all our programmes about victimization with us…

Maybe you’ve seen this with your relationships too?

People tend to date the same person again and again, only each time it’s a difference face with a different name. At the very least you may have noticed it with someone close to you, if not yourself. 😉

And these programmes also keep us believing we are small.

They keep us thinking that we are at the mercy of our own internal baggage.

We believe that because we are the way we are we can’t change our internal wiring. Or any change we do eventually manage to make has to be slow and hard work.

We think thoughts habitually that keep us doubting. In fact, most of us are on a loop about what we think is possible – we have an idea of something we want to do, but we then have a number of reasons why we can’t do it, and then each time we think the thought about the thing we’d like to do, we practice the reasons why we can’t again and again, until we have boxed ourselves in with our own limiting ideas.

But there is a way out of this.

There is a way of taking control of your thinking so that you can unpick these limitations and live a bigger life.

 

The Hard Pill: You Are Creating All The Time

You mind is a creative machine – whatever thought you think, at some point will show up in your material world… unless you undo the thought or immediately think the opposite.

And this is a scary concept what with all the myriad of thoughts that slosh around our heads every second of every single day! To take on board that they are having a direct effect on our live in a tangible way is really quite a bitter pill to swallow at first.

But the only way we are going to be able to rock out this success that we lust after is if we are able to take complete and total responsibility for everything we are creating in our world – the good, the bad and the ugly.

If you like what you’re creating, then great. Keep thinking those thoughts that are creating it.

But if there are things you would rather have differently, think only the thoughts of what you want to have, and take complete responsibility for having made it like that in the first place.

Now, sometimes this cause and effect relationship between our thoughts and our experience is hard to see…

It takes a smart, aware individual to be open to the possibility… and if this is the first time you’re reading something like this, you’ll probably have to read it many more times in other places to truly be able to live it and see the Truth in it.

But that’s ok…

All learning at this level is experiential – and it’s ok to take your time to experience this for yourself and prove it to yourself rather than just accept this concept as an intellectual “theory”.

Theory does nothing to change a life.

Theory means nothing until you can apply it in practice.

So let’s talk about how you can actually use these insights to make real change in the degree of success you create…

 

How To Create What You *Actually* Want

…and not what you don’t want.

 

Step 1: You’re On The Hook!

Now that you know this, you will find yourself automatically stepping up and becoming more powerful in what you can produce. You’re now on the hook for everything that happens in your world now

But this is great news. Because it puts you back in the driving seat.

If you created something (good or bad) you have the control over it to either create it again, or completely un-create it. It’s a good place to be. But you get there by taking responsibility for everything that shows up in your world.

 

Step 2: Get Sensitive To The Mind

Realise that every thought you think is going to manifest if not cancelled out with the opposite thought. So watch out for the thought you dwell on… Drop the ones that don’t serve you.

Dwell on the things you want to create.

 

Step 3: Know That You Are Powerful

This isn’t about wishing, hoping or daydreaming… That is what keeps us stuck.

This is about embracing the fact that what you hold in mind is what you create – so hold it in mind and expect that it will happen.

 

Gold Nugget Activator

Keep quiet – when we have to find words to explain what we want, we end up muddling things up and justifying… and doubting.

Just hold in mind what you want, and forget about convincing anyone else of what you are doing.

 

And If You Succeed?

If you can do this – not only will you master your goals, you will become massively more productive – because you’re not battling against your own thoughts and doubts all the time.

You’ll feel freer, because you’re taking control of your own mind. It isn’t situations that limit us. It is our thinking about our situations which keep us trapped and unable to push ahead.

Imagine that person you think you might be if you didn’t have all the mind chatter and doubts, right now.

That could be you, in actuality, in a surprisingly short space of time.

 

Over To You… Try This Now

So right now, leave me a comment, and tell me exactly what you choose to produce in your business or work…

If you didn’t have the limitations that have up until now been holding you back, what would your life be like right now?

 

To Your Inevitable Success,

Laura Leigh Clarke

a.k.a. the Whole Heart, Whole Brain Business Mentor

Wire Yourself for Wealth

 

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Success Advice

11 Mark Manson Lessons That’ll Redefine Success in the Digital Age

Success in the digital age isn’t about hacks, it’s about the raw, real lessons Mark Manson actually lives by.

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Mark Manson life lessons on success
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In 2016, Mark Manson released The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, a brutally honest, thought-provoking book that redefined self-help for a new generation. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Did You Know

How to Turn a Simple Link-in-Bio Into a Powerful Brand Hub

Transform your forgotten bio link into a high-impact gateway that fuels engagement, clicks, and conversions across every social platform.

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Personal Development

These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident

Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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how to build self-confidence through action
Image Credit: Midjourney

Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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