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How to Empower Yourself and Develop Better Relationships With Difficult People

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Your colleague calls you to complain about the new sales quotas. Your teenage daughter refuses to clean her room. Your CEO explodes because your team didn’t make their numbers this quarter. Your neighbor lectures you on the need for organic weed removal.

Difficult people trigger an emotional response in everyone. From your child to your CEO, people you perceive as difficult can affect your energy, ability to communicate, and reasoning skills. The dictionary definition of difficult, pertaining to a person, is “not easy to please or satisfy.”

Others define difficult people as people with certain personality traits or emotional characteristics that make it difficult for you to communicate with them. When you encounter a difficult person it is uncomfortable. They think, act, and behave differently than you. You perceive them as demanding, unmanageable, exasperating, and tiresome.

Coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult people have ranged from ignoring, blaming, or trying to transform them. Other people find it more manageable to place these difficult people into a box by labeling them as a narcissist, bully, gossip, whiner, or psychopath.

Avoiding, blaming or labeling is not an effective way to deal with difficult people. It creates a victim mindset where growth and possibilities are limited and even impossible. Therefore, it is essential and crucial for you to take another way.

Below are 4 empowered approaches you can take to develop better relationships with difficult people:

1. Have Compassion

People, even difficult people, generally want to do the right thing but often go about it the wrong way. This can be frustrating and lead to significant disconnection. Perceptions of difficult people are based on personal beliefs and reality.

Therefore, when you encounter a difficult person it’s important to access compassion by stepping out of your critical ego and observe the person from a place of understanding. When you have compassion for a difficult person you can understand them and their behavior from a different perspective.

“Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.” – Dalai Lama

2. Listen to Connect

Listening to connect is listening without judgment, bias, assumptions or rejection. This creates a space for connection and collaboration by focusing on the other person, and not you.

A chemical shift occurs in the brain when people show sincere concern for another. Therefore, when you listen to connect with a difficult person, they become calmer, regain composure, and begin to communicate in a constructive way. Listening to connect is more powerful than listening to understand because it creates a space for trust, mutual success, and discovery.

3. Reframe by Challenging Assumptions

Reframing is an amazing tool for dealing with difficult people, and difficult situations by putting a different spin on what is being said, turning it into an opportunity, and for finding trust and common ground.

Assumptions are part of our belief system and ingrained in our neural circuitry. Because of this, when you reframe situations with difficult people you are helping them, not only connect, but to get to the next level of greatness.

For example, if your co-worker complains about not making her quota challenge the perceived limitations by asking, “What are your assumptions about your territory, the organization, or your ability to make quota.”

“I believe that you can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” – Zig Ziglar

4. Align

Difficult people can be the best teachers. They are put into our life on purpose; to teach us about ourselves, if we are willing to listen. Look to align with difficult people by shifting the dynamics from opposition to aligned partner.

Reposition yourself mentally by asking the following questions:

  • What do we have in common?
  • What is their intent?
  • Who is this person outside of work/school?
  • What do they do well?
  • How do they contribute?

Relationships with difficult people can be challenging, frustrating, and draining, but they can also be empowering, inspiring, and life-changing.

How you navigate difficult people will determine your success in life. You can choose to blame them, ignore, or label them and remain a victim of their behaviors. On the other hand, you can empower yourself and create opportunities for both you and the difficult people in your life.

Which one of the above tips to develop better relationships with others resonated with you most? Share your thoughts below!

Tracy Martino is the founder of Executive Return, where she is a Wellness, Personal Development, and Leadership Consultant based in Boulder, CO. Tracy helps people increase their performance and resilience so they can decrease stress, increase communication, and make better decisions. She is a certified Conversational Intelligence® and HeartMath® consultant. Tracy is a Best-Selling Author of the book, “Cracking The Code To Success” with Brian Tracy. Her work also has appeared in Forbes, Huffington Post, Medium, Thrive, Positively Positive, The Master Shift, and Elephant Journal. Find Tracy on LinkedIn  www.linkedin.com/in/tracymartino.

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Success Advice

Inside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)

A viral TikTok resume trick promises interviews overnight, yet one wrong move could blacklist you from future jobs.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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