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Success Advice

How To Be The Person Everyone Respects In 3 Simple Steps

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My mentor always tells me that he respects me. You know when someone gives you a compliment, and it feels really weird? That’s how I feel when he says it. Respect is something that has always been strange to me. I feel like I can only be respected based on my current track record.

I feel like once I hit a speed bump in my life, I have to earn respect all over again. Why does my mentor say he respects me? It’s kind of hard to pinpoint. It’s a bit like saying why do I love a certain someone the way I do. I don’t know, it’s kind of a “woo woo” feeling you get that makes no sense.

Being respectful is about living in a way where you have attractive values that others appreciate. Having values is one thing, but what people who are respected do is live them. I have made several new values in the last couple of years. They include:

– Treat your body like a temple

– Acknowledge and comprehend someone’s opinion even if it’s different to yours

– Give more of yourself than anybody else

– Put people above everything else

Without respect, you feel like a big piece of your soul is missing. Respect gives you something that so few people have: it gives you people’s trust. When people respect you, they give you a break and create a sense of freedom in your life. In a work environment, this is like saying, “Do what you love, whenever you want, and we’ll support you.”

Feels pretty amazing if you ask me. That last line sums up a lot of my working life. But it hasn’t been all roses. My life has had low points just like yours. I’ve had moments in my life where no one respects me and where I felt alone. Loneliness has a lot to do with the way others feel about you.

When people respect you, it’s like a superhero trait. You all of a sudden have some confidence in your life that says, “I got this baby!” When sickness knocks you down, you just feel like people have your back. My cancer scare taught me this a few years ago.

“It’s because of respect that I was able to foster the belief that anything is possible”

If I look at my life now, I feel that I’m at an all-time level high in the level of respect I get from everyone in my life. It didn’t happen in 5 minutes though. It took five years of working my butt off and doing what I said I would do.

The crux of respect is really just about keeping your word. Things got even crazier when I did more than I said I would. It’s at that level that people’s respect for you goes through the roof. Is it so hard to do this? No, it’s actually pretty easy and just takes discipline.

To reiterate, to gain more respect you need to set the following three goals:
  1. A)   Keep your word
  2. B)   Treat others like they are royalty
  3. C)   Stay focused and don’t veer away from your values

I want to talk about Seinfeld for a second. The guy’s a comical genius, and if he doesn’t make you laugh then there may be something wrong with you… kidding. In a speech I heard yesterday, Seinfeld says that his success is based on habit.

Quite clearly, what he said is that all you need to do is the following:

  • Buy a paper calendar
  • Get a permanent red marker
  • Every day, put a big X through the day if you spent time on your passion

Not a bad formula for success. You could almost use these three steps for any goal. Respect is no different, and you could apply the same principle. Every day, put an X through the day if you kept to the three goals above. Once it’s a habit, respect will flow into your life like a freight train speeding down a railway track.

The challenge with respect is like most things in life: it’s just too bloody complicated. It’s like a foreign matter from Mars that nobody knows how to bring back to Earth. It’s not easy to articulate. Complex things rarely get achieved, so dumb it right down.

To be in control of your mind, remain disciplined, and treat others with respect, you can try the following three practices:

 

1. Write your thoughts down

Respect is gained when you can demonstrate to others that your mind is under control. People respect you when you treat them well. It’s hard to be nice to people if you are walking around with a head full of negative thoughts.

Through blogging, I’ve learned to write my thoughts down and get them out of my head. This allows me, during work hours, to have a clearer mind that can be focused on treating others well. I am able to remember what’s important to the various people I interact with, and this helps me build rapport. Rapport is the gateway to respect.

It’s hard for someone to respect you if they don’t have rapport with you. If you aren’t into blogging like me, then try something like doing five minutes of journaling. There’s a great journal called The Five-minute Journal which has a good guide. Get used to expressing yourself through writing.

 

2. Tell people you appreciate them

It’s funny how the things that make people respect us are almost too easy not to do. One of those things is to tell people you appreciate them. I don’t mean in a fake kind of way. The best way is to do it only if you mean it, and put lots of passion into your voice.

The approximate time needed to do this is something like sixty seconds a day. The results that come from this habit are off the charts.

“People respect you when you appreciate them first”

Respect starts with you taking action first and then the benefits follow. This point is dear to my heart especially with tragedies like the one I recently witnessed where a madman killed people only meters away from me. What if you never got to tell someone how much they meant to you ever again? Do it.

 

3. Say sorry when you mess up

This practice is only very new for me. I make mistakes all the time, just like you do. Until recently, I never said sorry or acknowledged them. Now I do it every time. Last week I offended my friend because he thought I didn’t respect his partner. I said sorry.

The week before, I snapped at someone because I had hardly slept the night before. I told them the next day I was sorry. I got off a train and said some silly things to a train conductor because his voice through the PA was interrupting my mobile phone conversation. I said sorry.

You will be the person everyone respects when you can apologize without being asked when you’ve done something wrong.

 

Outcomes

  1. A)   Within a month, I felt better about myself
  2. B)   Within three months I noticed more people said hello to me
  3. C)   Within six months my advice on social media began to be shared by people I respected
  4. D)   Within a year I became the go-to person for people who are way smarter and more successful than me.

And then, of course, I would experience a challenging life experience and sometimes forget all of the rules I’ve just mentioned. That’s okay. We’re not Superman 24 / 7, chief!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Success Advice

20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

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Emile Steenveld Speaker and Coach

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation.

Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing yourself more confidently and authentically, and improving your mental and emotional well-being. Effective communication is an essential life skill that can benefit you in all aspects of your life.

But, don’t worry if you don’t naturally possess this skill, as effective communication is something that can be developed with practice, planning and preparation.
 

1.  Listen actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention to the speaker and responding to what they are saying.

 

2. Use “I” statements: Speak from your own perspective and avoid placing blame or making accusations.

 

3. Avoid assumptions: Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling.

 

4. Be clear: Express your thoughts and feelings clearly and concisely by getting to the point and avoid using jargon or overly complex language.

 

5. Show empathy: Show that you understand and care about the other person’s feelings.

 

6. Offer valuable insights: When speaking in a group, provide a valuable takeaway or actionable item that people can walk away with.

 

7. Be an active listener: Listen attentively and respond accordingly, incorporating your points into the conversation.

 

8. Choose the right time: Pick the most opportune time to speak to ensure that you have the group’s attention and can deliver your message without interruption.

 

9. Be the unifying voice: Step in and unify the group’s thoughts to calm down the discussion and insert your point effectively.

 

10. Keep responses concise: Keep responses short and to the point to show respect for others’ time.

 

11. Avoid unnecessary comments: Avoid commenting on everything and only speak when you have something important to say.

 

12. Cut the fluff: Avoid being long-winded and get straight to the point.

 

13. Prepare ahead of time: Sort out your points and practice them before speaking in a group.

 

14. Smile and be positive: Smile and nod along as others speak, to build a positive relationship and be respected when it’s your turn to speak.

 

15. Take responsibility: Take responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

 

16. Ask questions: Ask questions to clarify any confusion or misunderstandings.

 

17. Avoid interrupting: Allow the other person to finish speaking without interruption.

 

18. Practice active listening: Repeat what the other person said to ensure you have understood correctly.

 

19. Use your body language too: Use nonverbal cues such as eye contact, facial expressions, and body language to convey your message and build rapport.

 

20. Be aware of the tone of your voice: it should be calm and assertive, not aggressive or passive.

 

By keeping these tips in mind, you can improve your communication skills and become a more powerful communicator, which can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead a more fulfilling life.

I you want to learn how to become more confident in life then you can join my weekly mentorship calls and 40+ online workshops at AweBliss.com so you can master your life with more success.

 
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Success Advice

Dead Men Tell No Tales: How to Navigate a Mutiny as a Leader in 10 Steps

You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way

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You’re the manager. You’re the supervisor. You’re the leader. But maybe your people don’t see it that way and perhaps that has created a divisive and adversarial working environment that makes it difficult for you to influence and inspire your team in a way that meets your vision. (more…)

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How to Think Like a CEO for Your Future Success

A blueprint for CEOs to draw a disciplined strategy

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Strategic thinking helps CEOs build successful businesses. It helps them establish everlasting enterprises. It is one of the key elements of decision-making. It is different from strategic leadership. It differentiates between leaders from managers.  (more…)

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How to Focus Your Mind on Your Goals in 2023 Constructively

In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds

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In this world of distractions due to information overload, it has become a big challenge to focus our minds on positive aspects and constructive activities. Sometimes we waste our precious time mentally and physically due to distractions arising out of technology. We must understand our priorities and learn how to focus on them religiously. (more…)

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