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How To Be The Person Everyone Respects In 3 Simple Steps

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My mentor always tells me that he respects me. You know when someone gives you a compliment, and it feels really weird? That’s how I feel when he says it. Respect is something that has always been strange to me. I feel like I can only be respected based on my current track record.

I feel like once I hit a speed bump in my life, I have to earn respect all over again. Why does my mentor say he respects me? It’s kind of hard to pinpoint. It’s a bit like saying why do I love a certain someone the way I do. I don’t know, it’s kind of a “woo woo” feeling you get that makes no sense.

Being respectful is about living in a way where you have attractive values that others appreciate. Having values is one thing, but what people who are respected do is live them. I have made several new values in the last couple of years. They include:

– Treat your body like a temple

– Acknowledge and comprehend someone’s opinion even if it’s different to yours

– Give more of yourself than anybody else

– Put people above everything else

Without respect, you feel like a big piece of your soul is missing. Respect gives you something that so few people have: it gives you people’s trust. When people respect you, they give you a break and create a sense of freedom in your life. In a work environment, this is like saying, “Do what you love, whenever you want, and we’ll support you.”

Feels pretty amazing if you ask me. That last line sums up a lot of my working life. But it hasn’t been all roses. My life has had low points just like yours. I’ve had moments in my life where no one respects me and where I felt alone. Loneliness has a lot to do with the way others feel about you.

When people respect you, it’s like a superhero trait. You all of a sudden have some confidence in your life that says, “I got this baby!” When sickness knocks you down, you just feel like people have your back. My cancer scare taught me this a few years ago.

“It’s because of respect that I was able to foster the belief that anything is possible”

If I look at my life now, I feel that I’m at an all-time level high in the level of respect I get from everyone in my life. It didn’t happen in 5 minutes though. It took five years of working my butt off and doing what I said I would do.

The crux of respect is really just about keeping your word. Things got even crazier when I did more than I said I would. It’s at that level that people’s respect for you goes through the roof. Is it so hard to do this? No, it’s actually pretty easy and just takes discipline.

To reiterate, to gain more respect you need to set the following three goals:
  1. A)   Keep your word
  2. B)   Treat others like they are royalty
  3. C)   Stay focused and don’t veer away from your values

I want to talk about Seinfeld for a second. The guy’s a comical genius, and if he doesn’t make you laugh then there may be something wrong with you… kidding. In a speech I heard yesterday, Seinfeld says that his success is based on habit.

Quite clearly, what he said is that all you need to do is the following:

  • Buy a paper calendar
  • Get a permanent red marker
  • Every day, put a big X through the day if you spent time on your passion

Not a bad formula for success. You could almost use these three steps for any goal. Respect is no different, and you could apply the same principle. Every day, put an X through the day if you kept to the three goals above. Once it’s a habit, respect will flow into your life like a freight train speeding down a railway track.

The challenge with respect is like most things in life: it’s just too bloody complicated. It’s like a foreign matter from Mars that nobody knows how to bring back to Earth. It’s not easy to articulate. Complex things rarely get achieved, so dumb it right down.

To be in control of your mind, remain disciplined, and treat others with respect, you can try the following three practices:

 

1. Write your thoughts down

Respect is gained when you can demonstrate to others that your mind is under control. People respect you when you treat them well. It’s hard to be nice to people if you are walking around with a head full of negative thoughts.

Through blogging, I’ve learned to write my thoughts down and get them out of my head. This allows me, during work hours, to have a clearer mind that can be focused on treating others well. I am able to remember what’s important to the various people I interact with, and this helps me build rapport. Rapport is the gateway to respect.

It’s hard for someone to respect you if they don’t have rapport with you. If you aren’t into blogging like me, then try something like doing five minutes of journaling. There’s a great journal called The Five-minute Journal which has a good guide. Get used to expressing yourself through writing.

 

2. Tell people you appreciate them

It’s funny how the things that make people respect us are almost too easy not to do. One of those things is to tell people you appreciate them. I don’t mean in a fake kind of way. The best way is to do it only if you mean it, and put lots of passion into your voice.

The approximate time needed to do this is something like sixty seconds a day. The results that come from this habit are off the charts.

“People respect you when you appreciate them first”

Respect starts with you taking action first and then the benefits follow. This point is dear to my heart especially with tragedies like the one I recently witnessed where a madman killed people only meters away from me. What if you never got to tell someone how much they meant to you ever again? Do it.

 

3. Say sorry when you mess up

This practice is only very new for me. I make mistakes all the time, just like you do. Until recently, I never said sorry or acknowledged them. Now I do it every time. Last week I offended my friend because he thought I didn’t respect his partner. I said sorry.

The week before, I snapped at someone because I had hardly slept the night before. I told them the next day I was sorry. I got off a train and said some silly things to a train conductor because his voice through the PA was interrupting my mobile phone conversation. I said sorry.

You will be the person everyone respects when you can apologize without being asked when you’ve done something wrong.

 

Outcomes

  1. A)   Within a month, I felt better about myself
  2. B)   Within three months I noticed more people said hello to me
  3. C)   Within six months my advice on social media began to be shared by people I respected
  4. D)   Within a year I became the go-to person for people who are way smarter and more successful than me.

And then, of course, I would experience a challenging life experience and sometimes forget all of the rules I’ve just mentioned. That’s okay. We’re not Superman 24 / 7, chief!

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared millions of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around personal development and entrepreneurship.You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net

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Why It’s So Important To Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone

Joel Brown (Founder of Addicted2Success.com)

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Fear of Snakes

So I completed a Snake Handling course 6 years ago and during the final test of the course, we were asked to capture and bag 5 of Australia’s Deadliest snakes in a small confined room. The room had a Tiger Snake, Dugite, King Brown, Death Adder and a Red-Bellied Black Snake all slithering around at the same time. I couldn’t believe what I had got myself into.

Snakes were one of the biggest fears of mine. I would imagine a snake running underneath my feet from time to time and I would actually bring my feet up off the floor to avoid getting entangled or bitten by these imaginary snakes I had created in my mind. I would even have nightmares about snakes biting me and it would wake me up in sweats in the middle of the night.

I could have never imagined doing this in my life but I did it because I knew that I had to get passed this ridiculous fear I had of snakes, and I am grateful I was able to show up for it.

Checkout this podcast episode where I share how You can Master your Sub Conscious Programming around your fears in 2 Steps:

While attending this course, the subject of Fear was brought up and the presenter asked a number of people:

 

“What Are Your Top 5 Fears?”

– Public Speaking

– Cancer

– Sharks

– Snakes

– Heights

Were at the top of the list for most people.

 

The instructor carried on with a story of how he had just arrived back from a trip to the Northern Territory of Australia to visit an aboriginal community where he had met a 7-year-old boy who was absolutely scared to death of spiders and the dark.

Killer crocodile fearIt did not matter what kind of spider it is, he was scared and that was that. This boy would hunt crocodiles and lizards but was scared of even the non-venomous spiders.

All he had learned from a very young age was that spiders are dangerous and that they WILL kill you, yet the crocodiles and snakes that the boy would play with and hunt for are by far more deadly than most spiders that your everyday human would come across.

He was taught between the crucial years of 1-6 yrs old that the dark is full of evil happenings and that spiders are incredibly deadly and will kill him if he goes anywhere near them. So he was devastated to sleep in the dark and would jump on near by people just to get away from a spider nearby.

I’m not here to say that spiders aren’t dangerous, they are, and some out there have the potential to kill you. This boy was right to be cautious around spiders but where he lacked knowledge, or the right information about these creatures, eventually left him fearful of something he had never really understood.

This boy is just an example of many other people out there that are limited by their fears because of the little that they know. The less you know, the more fearful you are. This is only human and we are naturally scared of the unknown.

So the key thing here is we need more “KNOWLEDGE!” and it is in our best interest to want to understand how things work if we want to become less fearful of what the wild and wonderful world we live in has to offer.

You have to “EXPERIENCE” things to have a better understanding of the activity or whatever it is you are most scared of.

Joel Brown Snakes Fear

Joel Brown – Certified Snake Handler

When you increase your knowledge you can grow to the level where your fear is set at, so when the two meet it creates a level called “RESPECT”.

This is the perfect level to be on because you will now have a respect for what you fear which will allow you to then work with it rather than being submissive and missing out on the wonderful feeling of successfully OWNING! the outer areas of your comfort zone.

Everybody has a fear of some sort and learning more about what you fear and even voyaging through your ‘un-comfortable zone‘ will prepare you for the hard knocks in life on your road to success.

 

I have a few more fears to conquer myself and I am happy to say that I have crossed ‘Snakes’ and a number of other top things off my list. I’m sharing this story with you in hopes that you too will face at least one or two of your fears. Not to say that “you did it“, but to prove that you can outgrow your own personal limitations.

Your fears could be holding you back, they could even be the final piece you need to experience a brand new lifestyle or a brave new world of fun.

 

So get out there, learn more and grow!

 

No matter the storm, may your Faith be stronger than your Fears – Joel Brown

 

 

Feature Image Original Source: Indiana Jones – Raiders Of The Lost Ark

 

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