Success Advice
Finding The Perfect Mentor To Guide You To Success
A mentor is more than a teacher. Teachers show you something and leave you to your own devices. A mentor is concerned about your “whole being.” They pierce who you are to help guide you without interfering with your individuality. A mentor should never want you to be like them, but help to mould those characteristics that make you, well, you.
Who is your mentor? and why is it important to have a mentor? Read on as we explain why.
The Definition Of A Mentor
A mentor is someone you can look up to, normally deemed to be a trusted counselor or guide. Mentors play a crucial part in our lives by sharing their experience, words of positive thinking and how you can go about getting the best out of your life. Most people only think of mentors in the form of academic or job relations. Even though this is not uncommon, here, we speak of mentors in deeper terms. In fact, a mentor can emerge in various forms. Whether a person, a movie, lyrics of a song, or a book, a mentor gives the student a unique tool, training, or advice that puts them on the right road of life’s journey that suits the particular challenges they face. A mentor cannot free anyone from life’s challenges, but they can teach you how to cope with them, overcome them, learn from them, and move onto your next level of growth.
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin
Today, the term “mentor” is used loosely. You can practically find a mentor in your basement if you look hard enough. There are self-help gurus, life coaches, TV personalities, motivational speakers, and the whole lot. There are a number of channels in which these mentors can be contacted as well. The Internet, videos, Skype, books, Facebook, just about anywhere today, someone can be contacted instantly to assist you with your life journey. Life is certainly complicated enough. If you want to build a momentous life, you will need to meet individuals who can help guide you, and you must be ready to be guided.
Wisdom is the Mentor’s Hangout
In order to succeed in life your best teacher is wisdom. It should be pursued with enthusiasm. Hang out with wise people and model your life after them. Ask questions and continue to ask for as long as your mentor is willing to answer. To the surprise of many, wisdom is not just book learning, and certainly not instantly obtainable. It defies precise definition. To define wisdom too strictly is curtailing the depth of it potential to help us.
The spirit of wisdom is praised in every land. It is frequently viewed as a state-of-mind that leaves one calm and able to filter through situations put before them without acting rashly. Wisdom consists of the ability to reflect and view the bigger-picture while still appreciating the minute details that make things work well. The great philosopher Confucius said, “There are three ways one may learn wisdom. Firstly, through reflection, which is gracious, then by imitation, which is simplest, and last by experience, which is the most unpleasant.”
A “true” mentor must possess qualities of wisdom. There are mentors who are charismatic, but that does not equate wisdom. There are mentors who are attractive, but it has nothing to do with insight. There are mentors who are materially wealthy, but there are fools who are as well. You can find mentors in every walk of life whether they are for personal or professional assistance. Nevertheless, if they do not possess the characteristics of sincerity and the ability to deeply comprehend where it is you need to grow, a mentor will be of very little help.
Mentors in Your Professional Work Life
A few years ago a large technology company based in the United States released results of a study that delved into the value of mentoring. The study, conducted by a research and advisory firm and a software and services company, utilized statistical investigations to analyze the financial influence of mentoring and how funding could be used in that area. The study determined that “mentoring had a positive affect on mentors and their learners and produced staff that was more highly valued by the company.”
Researchers checked data from over 1,000 employees through a five-year period, classified by job description, such as engineers and administrators. The study analyzed nearly 70 variables such as previous employment code, base pay, job performance rating, salary grade, promotion, salary grade change, salary increase because of promotion, and merit increase in salary.
Researchers discovered that 25% of employees in the test cluster that participated in the company’s mentoring program had a salary-grade change, The program also had positive financial advantages for the mentors: over 27% of mentors in the test group were given a salary-grade change compared to 5% in the control group.
Researchers also discovered that the company’s mentoring program was not as effective for high achievers. This was astounding, since many mentoring programs concentrate on developing high-performers with the best potential. This led researchers to deduce that “funds are better spent on lower-performers to assist them in raising their performance level.” Overall, the study showed that mentoring can only be worthwhile if the learner is willing to be taught. The perfect mentor needs perfect students, if not, no one benefits whether in the corporate world or in private life.
Modelling the Masters
In Homer’s noble verse “The Odyssey,” Odysseus had difficulty finding his way back home to the palace after the Trojan War, there were too many dangers threatened to disrupt his crossing. However, Odysseus felt comforted knowing that he had a wise and loyal friend named Mentor to protect and teach his son, Telemachus, through his absence.
Despite the wave of change in our culture, in some cases because of it, mentoring is vital in every person’s life. Especially younger people looking to learn from more experienced individuals in their private and work lives. In fact, mentoring may be just as important for organizations since connecting with mature mentors with a promising protégé is a perfect means of keeping valued employees and preventing them from going elsewhere.
Mentors help to guide an individual, organization, or employee to become acclimated to the world around them while keeping the validity of each one’s purpose. As adults, we must take the proper approach to finding the right mentor for our lives. To find the right mentor, search deep. Don’t grab the closest expert from down the block. Look with your eyes open. Check their credentials and references. Find out if they live by their word. Test their wisdom. Make sure they are respected.
The secret to a good mentor is a developed commitment to communication and trust. Criticism is something many of us find hard to take lightly; however, it is a less difficult pill to swallow if it is coming from a person you trust, a person with insight and wisdom, someone who you know has your back. In particular, be sure that you mentor is available to you. You may have the utmost mentor in the universe; however, if they have no time for you, then they will not be the best option to guide you to the place you really want to be.
If you believe that you have what it takes to be a mentor yourself then checkout our post 10 Steps To Becoming A Motivational Speaker to learn the ropes on how you can inspire others to do great things and live a successful life.
Feature Image Courtesy of OWN.
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
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