Success Advice
“Busy” Is The Worst Answer You Can Ever Give.
“Busy” is the answer a loser gives. The only thing I feel when people say this to me is pity. It’s a damn shame that we allow such a simple word to screw up our life and guarantee we will never achieve anything meaningful.
People are throwing the busy word around way too much. It’s meaning has become lost.
Busy is not a badge of honor either. It’s a joke.
When people drop the busy word, I think of that horrible Shania Twain song “That don’t impress me much Oh-oo-oh.”
Do you want to sound like a bad 90’s song? Of course not.
Why “busy” is the worst answer you can give.
It’s quite simple: when you say you’re busy you’re really saying to the person you’re directing it to that they’re not important – you’re pretty much making them feel like dirt.
Consider people’s feelings before you use the word busy because it’s not that far away from telling people to “F off mate!” which is what you’re really saying.
Tell the truth.
Often the word busy is an excuse or a lie. Tell the truth instead. People will respect you much more for it.
“Being faced with an opportunity that means nothing to you is okay. Tell the requester the real reason and cheer for them on the sidelines instead”
Also, be quick about it. Don’t tell people your life story or hit them with one of those automatic reply’s that has 1000 words in it and makes you sound like a total ass who is in love with themselves.
Just respond with a couple of sentences and be quick, as well as nice about it.
End of story. Thanks for playing.
Busy sounds cool. Busy is your ego talking.
That’s why people use the word. If you’re not busy, then you must not be cool or doing anything meaningful. “Why aren’t you stressed and doing Yoga” many busy people often think quietly to themselves.
My approach is a lot different. I think if you’re busy and stressed then you’re heading nowhere fast. Busy often means that the quality of your work is crap.
Busy means you are a jack of all trades master of none.
Doing lots of stuff, without focus will translate into zero time. Zero time equals busy.
My question to all the busy people is this: If you’re so busy and have zero time, what are you going to do when the opportunity of a lifetime comes by?
In reality, that’s often what happens. A great opportunity comes knocking at your door – often in disguise – and you say no because you are busy. Stupid.
Busy is a lack of discipline.
There’s that ugly mofo word again. It’s in almost every one of my blog posts. Busy is a choice that comes from someone who lacks discipline. Discipline is doing less so you can eventually experience fulfillment.
Resisting the temptation to say yes to every cold email, every Facebook message, every podcast request, every opportunity to speak in front of an audience, etc. is hard. It takes courage and guts to avoid loading up your calendar with stuff you’ll regret later, that brings you no joy.
Diet takes discipline; the gym takes discipline; business takes discipline; success takes discipline.
Wake up! Rise up!
“Embrace the art of discipline so you can avoid the mirage of busy”
Saying no takes discipline and it stops the busy train wreck.
The answer to all of this busyness talk is the word “no.”
No equals more time.
No equals focus.
No is the antidote to busy.
Say no and follow these rules:
– Be respectful
– Explain why and be honest
– Do so swiftly and don’t drag it out
– Don’t complain about it later like a sook
This advice seems harsh and that’s because it is. The trap of busy is easy to fall into and unless I explain it in harsh terms, you’ll probably dismiss it and go back to being busy. That would be a fail.
Busy means you are not present.
To translate that into psychological terms, being busy is not living in the moment which means you’re living in the future, or the past or both. The past can make you depressed and the future can make you anxious. Both these outcomes are very common with people that consider themselves busy.
“Once you throw the busy excuse in the bin, you start to find yourself living in the moment more. You have space. You have time. You can do cool stuff. You can high five if that’s your thing (it might be mine – just putting it out there)”
Confessions of a former busy person.
This advice about being busy sounds spot on, doesn’t it? You know why?
I’ll tell you why: you’re hearing the advice from someone who was the ultimate example of busyness. There were days when I didn’t even have time for a piss I was so busy. I said yes to everything and was paranoid about what people thought of me.
It was this paranoia that drove me to the madness that is busy.
I thought every yes was an opportunity and I didn’t let gut feelings or the way I felt, influence my decision-making ability. Often, I’d say yes and then feel like crap shortly after.
All of the busyness got me nowhere. I became burnt out, pissed off, negative and unproductive.
I thought busyness was being productive and that it would lead to some form of success. It was all a lie. Fast forward five years and I now have empty space, and time to do meaningful work. Win.
You have to stop being so busy. It’s messing with your ability achieve your goals.
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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