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Success Advice

6 Reasons You Should Share Your Story Of Struggle With The World‏

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The topic I wanted to share with you today is all about sharing your story of struggle and why you should consider doing it. A leader that I know very well recently shared his story of struggle with his team. He is the kind of person that you wouldn’t expect to share the most interment details of his life with anyone.

The process of sharing his story of how he was raised and what it was like to not have a father around brought him to tears several times throughout him delivering this speech to a room full of his closest colleagues. What triggered his sudden urge to share his story was a case of cancer within his family.

It’s amazing how when we go through an experience that shows us we only have limited time on this earth, we start doing things that we wouldn’t normally do, and we start acting completely different with a new perspective on life.

Through this experience I had recently, below are the six reasons I believe that you should share your story of struggle with the world.

 

1. It makes you a leader

If you ever have a desire to be a leader, then you must be able to be vulnerable, put yourself in difficult situations and be willing to teach your followers all the wisdom that you possess. Sharing your story of struggle is a great way to do this, and it shows everyone that your willing to take a risk and do whatever it takes to inspire those around you.

Being a leader is a difficult job, and most people are capable of being a leader yet they never take the risk or decide to better themselves so that they can fulfill a leadership role. To be a leader you need to be able to lead by example and this is one way to do that.

Sharing a story of struggle for some people can actually bring out leadership qualities that they never thought they had. This is because the feeling that you get from inspiring others is very powerful, and when you get your first follower, you can easily be lead on a path of leadership that you will never turn back from.

 

2. It’s the blueprint for all success

I might be sounding a little over the top, but I believe that one the major factors in anyone’s success is when they share their story of struggle. If you look at any success story of our time, it’s the one common ingredient in every single example.

Whether it’s a business that came from nothing, or an athlete that achieved the impossible, it all started with them sharing their story of struggle with the world and using it to motivate them to achieve what most would consider to be impossible.

 

3. It’s the most courageous thing you can do

Courage is often described in many ways but to put yourself on the line and to risk the way that people perceive you is real courage. Humans are motivated by their emotions and sharing your story of struggle is all about emotion. Public speaking is one of the most feared activities that most of us do everything to avoid.

The most beneficial way to share your story is in the form of a speech and it also takes the greatest courage. If you don’t want to move straight to the hardest step, then try sharing your story of struggle online in a safe environment first.

Once you have built the muscle then maybe you could try sharing it in person with one or two people. From there you can keep building, and who knows, maybe one day you will share your story with a stadium of people like Les Brown did for many decades.

Image Credit Shutterstock

Image Credit Shutterstock

4. You’re proving that we are all equal

Many of us make the mistake of thinking that people who achieve massive success are somehow super human, or they were lucky. The reality, as we all know on Addicted2Success, is that this is not true and what really creates successful people are a number of traits and habits practiced daily, that create the slight edge in small steps, which compound over time into massive success.

By sharing your story of struggle, you are proving that we are all equal because each of us have our own story. If I was to ask everyone on Addicted2Success to tell me their story of struggle, I am sure that each of you would have at least one.

The reason we all have stories of struggle is because that’s what life is all about. We were put on this earth to overcome challenges through our own struggles and then share them with the world to help others overcome similar challenges. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful is quite small.

The successful have reframed their story of struggle into motivation, and the unsuccessful are using that same story as the excuse for why their life isn’t working out the way they want it.

 

5. You’re allowing people to see another side of you

Building rapport with other people is one of the most important traits that we all need no matter what we do for a living. To influence any outcome, you must always be coming from a position of rapport, which is actually quite hard.

The fastest way to build rapport is to show people another side of you that they wouldn’t normally expect to hear. Through hearing your story of struggle it helps them to relate to their own story and allows them to see another side of you.

Many of us reframe from showing different sides of ourselves on a daily basis. If you look at your Facebook newsfeed how many of you can see people that are showing only one side of themselves? How many people in the newsfeed are always showing how perfect their lives are and how everything goes their way?

If you look at Instagram, you might find a similar phenomenon. A lot of the photos that are on there are taken using professional cameras, perfect lighting and lots of Photoshop. You probably won’t find too many photos on their of people who haven’t brushed their hair or who have a really bad sunburn.

All of this is because we only want to show our good side, and we are scared of what showing our weaker side might do to the way people perceive us. I say forget about these rules and show all sides of yourself. It’s what the ultra successful do and your much more likely to attract good people in your life who like you for who you are.

 

6. The world can learn something from you

Every story of struggle has a lesson in there that the rest of the world can learn from. If you ever practice studying success like I have, you will find that a lot of what you will be doing is reading people’s stories of struggle. This is because all learning involves understanding some form of lesson and the most powerful way to do this is through real human stories.

This is why reality television has been so popular because it much easier to relate to real stories and events than it is to with fictional stories.

Just remember that someone else may be going through the exact same struggle that you have been through and by you sharing your story with the world, you could be giving someone the skills and inspiration they need to learn the lesson from their struggle. You might be the one small change that someone else needs to get their life back on track or change their ways and move towards success.

If you would like to share your own story of struggle, then feel free to in the comments section below or message it to me on my Facebook Page.

Tim is best known as a long-time contributor on Addicted2Success. Tim's content has been shared hundreds of thousands of times and he has written multiple viral posts all around success, personal development, motivation, and entrepreneurship. During the day Tim works with the most iconic tech companies in the world, as an adviser, to assist them in expanding into Australia. By night, Tim coaches his students on the principles of personal development and the fundamentals of entrepreneurship. You can connect with Tim through his website www.timdenning.net or through his Facebook.

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Alex

    Jan 20, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Awesome article! Sharing your story of struggle is totally the fastest way gain trust with people because they see that you are just like them and are on their side. Of course, sharing your successes afterward is even more powerful as it helps influence people in a positive way.

  2. Peter

    Aug 13, 2015 at 7:55 am

    A wonderful article! It was one of, if not, the best article I’ve read on addicted2success.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 24, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      Glad you liked it Peter and got something out of it Thank you for your very kind comment.

  3. Alex Bender

    Jul 17, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    Absolutely love this. One of my mentors has made most of his online income just from telling his story of struggle & overcoming his struggle, now he has his own course showing people how to tell their story powerfully.
    Everyone loves a story and everyone loves a story of struggle and overcoming a struggle.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:48 pm

      Thanks for your comment Alex. I would love a link to your friends story if you could share it on here.

  4. Sammy

    Jul 15, 2015 at 6:27 am

    I think its a great idea, but it has to have a positive message and it can’t be constant as it loses it’s impact and can come across as focusing on the negative.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:47 pm

      Sammy, your spot on, there must be a positive lesson from your story of struggle otherwise people won’t be attracted to it. Who wants to hear a story where the moral is, the world is going to end?

  5. Jax

    Jul 13, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Great article! I just recently started a new blog that is sharing the struggles I’m going through to do a live rags-to-riches (hopefully!) story. I appreciate the extra motivation this post provides. Thanks!

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:46 pm

      Good luck Jax I hope your blog goes well

  6. Ethan

    Jul 9, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Nice article, Tim!

    I feel like I’m still “in the making” of my own story of struggle, which I can’t really share as of this moment yet. 🙂

    But you’re absolutely right–one must share at least one story. There was a time when I remembered the names of the people I did and still do admire simply because of their stories of struggle. There’s just priceless value in there. It’s true that you’d want to hear another person talk about a struggle that’s very similar to yours, but it’s also quite true that all struggles are the same–a struggle is a struggle–it only comes in many, many forms.

    Inspiration makes the world go round! I bet there are lots of others who are also “in the making” of their own story.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 11, 2015 at 11:30 am

      Thanks so much Ethan. I agree that most stories of the struggle are similar, but sometimes you have to hear something lots of different ways before you have a bank of references that you can draw upon in times of fear.

      Thanks for reading Ethan!

  7. Meenakshi

    Jul 9, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Florence Scovel Shinn says “Be undisturbed by a situation, and it will fall away of its own weight. “

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 11, 2015 at 11:28 am

      A very powerful quote. Thanks Meenakshi!

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Success Advice

I Embraced These 5 Characteristics. Best Decision I Ever Made.

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The other day I was putting together a guide for my clients on how to succeed in social media.

All of a sudden, I had an epiphany – a life-changing moment of clarity that was so incredibly rare.

I realized that the things I’ve learned about social media actually apply more broadly to life.

The key differentiator between those who achieve a lot of success online are these 5 characteristics:

 

Characteristic 1 – Humbleness

Achieving success on social media leads to a large number of messages from all sorts of people. Remaining humble and talking to people like you’re on their level has helped me to get people’s respect.

Humbleness creates beautiful conversations that touch your soul and make you and the other person feel phenomenal.

A bit of success can easily make you feel superior and so humbleness is the way to stay grounded and not forget who you are, and where you’ve come from.

Humbleness is a brilliant decision.

 

Characteristic 2 – Gracefulness

The world of social media is fast-paced and often frantic. Being graceful has allowed me to move slower at times and reflect on each thing that I do in my life.

“Rather than trying to walk over the top of what everyone else is trying to do and charge through the battlefield of social media like an out of control soldier who’s gone rogue, I’ve learned to be more graceful”

Being graceful is difficult to explain at times. I see it as making moves with composure, calmness and keeping balance between the many tasks that can pull us from side to side (such as distractions).

Slow down, think about your decisions carefully and be graceful as you make your moves.

Gracefulness is a decision that will make you calm.

 

Characteristic 3 – Kindness

The secret ingredient of all of my online success. It’s also the same ingredient that many of the people you look up to use.

When you meet a stranger, you be friendly.
When someone praises one of your Facebook posts, you be kind and say thank you.
When you see someone struggling and you can help, you offer your time.

Kindness is a characteristic that bonds all of us together. It will bring more good things in your life than any other trait.

“Kindness is a belief in yourself and your fellow humans to do the right thing”

Kindness is a belief that we can all be better by helping each other and doing so in a generous, friendly and considerate way.

Above all else, kindness is the best decision you can make.

 

Characteristic 4 – Vulnerability

There’s a temptation with social media to hide behind a mask and pretend you’re happy and living this amazing life that everyone else should be envious of. Vulnerability has been a trait I’ve used to bring people in and show them the real me.

Vulnerability is when you share your epic failure.
Vulnerability is when you’re not afraid to show weakness.
Vulnerability is admitting something made you cry.
Vulnerability is admitting you’re not okay.

Putting vulnerability into everything you do makes you human. People want to see you be vulnerable and it shows huge amounts of courage at the same time. Rather than getting attached to your critic’s opinions, vulnerability can help you go further and be authentic.

When you crush your fear (like my well-known public speaking one), you should share that vulnerable moment with your family, work friends and online connections.

You’ll sometimes experience some fear when you attempt to be vulnerable and that’s usually a sign that you are going outside your comfort zone which is good.

Breaking your comfort zone is how you grow and that’s what will give you the strength to attack bigger goals in the future. Don’t back away from being vulnerable; face into it.

Vulnerability is a decision to stand out from the crowd and be you – warts and all.

 

Characteristic 5 – Willingness To Share (no strings attached)

Sharing is the act of demonstrating you have enough. It’s a form of gratitude.

As an example, the other day, a guy asked me how I do my video posts and within a few minutes I sent him back, step-by-step, how I do them.

He was shocked!
He couldn’t believe I’d tell him step-by-step and want nothing in return.

I embraced a willingness to share because I realized like most of you, that no one has a monopoly on information or ideas. Anyone can find anything out thanks to the Internet. So, what’s the point of hiding your knowledge? There is none.

Share what you know, and maybe one day they’ll return the favor. All of us have useful lessons, failures, stories and ideas to share. Rather than hide them, share them for the world to see.

This willingness to share has worked for me and it’s fuelled my side business but I’ve only found it to work when you share with no strings attached.

“The moment you expect something in return, people can sniff out your selfishness like a dog at the airport sniffing for drugs”

Most of the knowledge and strategies I’ve obtained that are responsible for my success have come from other people’s willingness to share. It’s only fair that I return the gift and that you do the same.

Sharing is a fantastic decision to make.

 

Why these 5 characteristics work.

These five traits have led me to discover my version of success and I believe they are most of what you need to succeed at any pursuit in life.

Once these traits become habits, you’ll do them without thinking. These traits are what have compounded my success and I honestly believe they will do the same for you.

These five traits are the foundation for anyone wanting to do something big and bring the rest of us on the journey. They are also the same traits that will help you build a tribe of people who want to achieve a common mission.

You don’t need piles of money.
You don’t need millions of followers.
You don’t need to overwork and burn out.

What you need is to make a decision to be humble, graceful, kind, vulnerable and willing to share.

These traits work because they each have an element of selflessness about them.
These traits are not about you as such; they’re about what you can do for all of us.

Embracing these five traits is the best decision I’ve made. Will you make the same decision?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

If You’re Looking for Success, Here Are 5 Ways to Find It

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looking for success

What do people want when they talk about being successful? Some of us might want things such as a yacht, private island, or a jet. Others want to feel like they belong and have great relationships with their family and loved ones.

We end up wanting things without knowing exactly why. We end up creating images in our heads of what it would be like to own these things, to have these relationships, to live these lives, but we casually ignore the negative things that are bound to challenge us along the way.

Even if we end up building these lives for ourselves, we forget that all life comes with suffering, and anyone who experiences great success will also have moments of frustration and perceived failure.

Here are 5 ways to find success right here, right now, as you continue on the path towards building your empire:

1. Excavate before you begin building

Just as you wouldn’t build a skyscraper before excavating deeply underground the construction site and setting the foundation, you wouldn’t start to develop the foundation for a successful life without first understanding where you come from and what drives you. Dig deep to understand what core truths truly motivate you and what you really care about before you start building yourself up. A career built on a shaky foundation will never stand the test of time.

2. Create a strong network

The Pando is a tree colony on the border between Colorado and Utah. What makes the Pando unique is that it is thought to be one contiguous organism, with a combined underground root network covering over 100 acres. The Pando is thought to be the world’s heaviest living organism, and one of the oldest at over 80,000 years old.

Consider what the journey towards success would be without a strong network. Without security and a strong foundation, you won’t be able to weather the storm when inevitable challenges come your way on the path to great success. In order to be truly successful, you must also be willing to share your victories and your defeats with others.

This isn’t about finding fair weather friends who are happy for you when you have a great accomplishment and disappear in times of trouble. You need to build this strong network and ecosystem which will support you in times of need and through times of plenty.

“Effective networking isn’t a result of luck – it requires hard work and persistence.” – Lewis Howes

3. Strengthen your monkey mind

Take responsibility for the habits you choose to strengthen and cultivate, and be ruthless with the habits you choose to cut out. The Basal Ganglia is the part of the brain responsible for the development of habits, while the Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain responsible for complex decision making and thought processes.

The Basal Ganglia is effectively the less developed, most basic part of the brain. This “monkey mind” must be strengthened by building strong habits if you want to teach your subconscious to focus on the right things at the right times.

4. Shoot for the moon

As the saying goes, “shoot for the moon, so you’ll land among the stars.” I honestly hate this saying, as I think it is incredibly corny, but it illustrates the point well. If you aim for a big goal, you will be more likely to reach some level of success and acclaim no matter what happens.

What the saying misses is the amount of planning and preparation that goes into “shooting for the moon”. When John F Kennedy announced his plan to land a man on the Moon by the end of the 1960s, he set the United States on a road to investing more on a single project than at any other time in human history.

The combined efforts and finances of the most powerful nation on earth all went into making sure the mission would be a success, and as a result humanity came together to accomplish something magnificent.

So, when you’re aiming for something big, don’t half ass it, make a bold announcement, loop in your supporters, and try to change the world. Sometimes when you aim big, you’ll be surprised by who jumps in to lend a hand.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown

5. Make your heart sing

One of the most important factors that defines true success is the ability to do something on a regular basis that brings you joy. While your job won’t always be interesting, and all things done with regularity become monotonous, you should strive to find what makes your heart sing about the work you do and the world in which you live.

Only if you are able to tap into what makes your heart truly sing will you be able to call yourself a success in your daily life. Don’t ask yourself what you love about your job, or even what made you first get interested in your line of work. Instead, ask yourself, what about your current role makes your heart sing.

If you don’t know how to answer that question, perhaps you should go back to step one and start excavating your foundation.

How are you making sure you achieve success this year? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

5 Neuroplasticity Exercises the Top 3% of the Happy and Successful Do

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Neuroplasticity Exercises

Neuroplasticity means you will no more have to wake up each morning with the dread of having to start a new day of which you already know the outcome. For decades, it’s been the same routine, you get up with negative feelings that your day will turnout just like the day before full of stress and discontent.

Whether it’s concerning your job/career, a relationship, finances, or health, you just know everything will go against you no matter what you do. You may have fallen into the trap of having a fixed mindset where you think your abilities to learn and accomplish more in your life are limited.

The truth is you may have limitations, but you can still envision better solutions. Your brain is ready and willing to go the extra mile to learn how to solve all the issues your facing in life but it’s that doubt, worry, and fear that continually creeps into the thought pattern which acts as the action killer.

Neuroplasticity isn’t some kind of new Play-Doh for kids, it’s the power your brain has to rejuvenate and create the life you want. Neuroplasticity – or brain plasticity – is the brain’s ability to modify its connections or rewire itself. Without this ability, any brain, not just the human brain, would be unable to develop from infancy through to adulthood. It has now been proven the brain continues to learn and rejuvenate itself as new data is received and stored.

You may say, “You’re just wired to be unhappy.” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s the beliefs and train of thought our culture has today due to our primitive and out of date educational system along with the big corporation’s ideology.

“Brain plasticity is a two-way street. It’s just as easy to generate negative changes as positive ones.”

Here’s the eye-opening truth, you can change and rewire your brain for happiness and success We have habits that turn into beliefs which distort our perceptions of life and the world around us. Habits are strong persuaders to your actions in familiar areas of life so, when you disrupt those habits it sends the brain into a little chaos until change takes place.

That’s fantastic news because if we can create habits that distort our brain, we can also create habits that reveal and rejuvenate clear precise solutions to our challenging issues. So, how do you start retraining your brain for happiness and success?

Start changing habits to increase brain power with these proven neuroplasticity builders below:

1. Aerobic Exercises

A 60-minute intense workout gives the best results but just in case you’re not a fitness addict, taking a leisure stroll through the park will light up different parts of your brain and aid with neuroplasticity.

2. Reading a good book

If you hate sitting down and taking the time to read a good book or magazine, that’s fantastic because doing things you don’t like and are different stimulate your neurons to the max.

3. Playing games

It can be challenging on the brain to try and figure out all the winning strategies to become the champion in a board game. Nonetheless, these will really get the old brain juices flowing.

4. Anything out of the ordinary

Doing something out of the ordinary will trigger the brain plasticity you’re looking for. Things as simple as brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. If your right-handed start brushing with the left or vise-versa.

Learning is thought to be “neuro-protective.” Through neuroplasticity, learning increases connections between neurons, increases cellular metabolism, and increases the production of nerve growth factor, a substance produced by the body to help maintain and repair neurons.”

“Neuroplasticity provides us with a brain that can adapt not only to changes inflicted by damage, but allows adaptation to any and all experiences and changes we may encounter.”

5. Smile

Smiling starts your day off with a BANG and can give those brain cells of yours an extra boost anytime anywhere. It’s like taking a shot of super juice to overcome the stress, worry, and frustrations during the day.

In the mornings when you open those big beautiful sexy eyes of yours put on a smile from ear to ear on your face. This will trigger your brain to release the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.

Dopamine is classified as the happy chemical in neuroscience which has the ability to create a state of euphoria throughout your entire body in a matter of seconds. It vanquishes the feeling of stress, worry, and frustration immediately. The great thing is dopamine works every single time and it doesn’t matter if the smile is genuine or fake because the brain can’t distinguish the difference.

The bad thing is statistics show, adults only put a SMILE on their face an average of 4 times a day compared to child who SMILES an average of 400 times a day. If you want to rewire your brain for happiness and success while defusing stress, worry, and frustrations in your life daily it may be wise to start following the examples of our children.

Above are some exciting proven avenues to invigorate neuroplasticity to your brain functions and start living and loving life to the fullest on your own terms.

Would love to hear about your personal exercises being used to rejuvenate your brain for happiness and success in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

The 3 C’s of Leadership That Determines Your Success

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leadership

Have you caught the seasonal flu or a common cold this winter season? If so, you likely received advice to drink a glass of orange juice for the benefits associated with consuming Vitamin C. To repair an immune system that has been weakened by the common cold or flu, Vitamin C can provide the body with nutrition that can expedite recovery time. When it comes to exhibiting positive leadership behaviors there exists three qualities that also begin with the letter “C” and are helpful.  

To receive the Vitamin C’s of leadership, you must start with a desire to improve. One camp might endorse that you find mentorship from a senior colleague. Another person or group may recommend that you spend more time reading articles or books discussing leadership experiences and advice. With either point of origin, it can open a path to growth and improvement as a leader. However, you chose to proceed with the second inquiry which is why you are here!

We often believe that leadership is a cumbersome and daunting process. It can be difficult, but if we are strategic about cultivating a few characteristics, the mountain to positive impact is a little more feasible to climb. From school teachers and administrators to business executives and their employees, I have found that all great leaders possess a minimum of three dominant characteristics.

These three dominant features can provide an individual with the strength to continue during the difficult times that often accompany leadership; they are similar to the Vitamin C that can make you feel better when battling a cold or the flu.

Enough already, what are the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success? See below:

1. Confidence

Leaders believe in themselves and the people they serve. This positive self-awareness or confidence that effective leaders have, often radiates in every aspect of their work from communication with others to informed decisions. One strategy you can use to develop confidence is the commitment to being the first one to speak during a meeting or class. Successful leaders are willing to express themselves in a variety of capacities, even when they may possess less common viewpoints or modes of behavior.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell

2. Competency

Building on the importance of confidence, effective leadership is about being able to create a personal development plan that consistently encourages you to improve. Some of the most revered leaders in our society, strategically make time to read daily. Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey are two of the most common examples of this relentless thirst for knowledge.

They have committed to life-long learning that continues, despite reaching nearly every financial and business goal possible. To become more competent, you can create a schedule that allows for the investment in activities such as reading articles and books to stay informed.

3. Charisma

You might call it SWAG or a gift, but the ability to attract other people who support you and your work are essential. It is not necessary to resemble a supermodel to get people to like you, but you do need to carry yourself with a certain level of pride to effectively encourage others to follow your advice and instructions.

Charisma is a byproduct of possessing confidence in yourself to serve as a useful leader. You can build more charisma in your life, by being more mindful to genuinely listen and respond to your colleagues, family, and friends in conversations. Don’t allow yourself to become intimidated by the responsibilities that can come with the roles of a leader.

“I attract a crowd, not because I’m an extrovert or I’m over the top or I’m oozing with charisma. It’s because I care.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

In many cases, you would not be in the position to earn followers without the necessary qualifications or skill set. Excelling in leadership is possible for you when you are consistent with tapping into the power of the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success.

Confidence, Competency, and Charisma can offer a bountiful number of resources to serve others in authoritative roles of professional and personal environments. Confident leaders believe in themselves, their products, and their services. Competent leaders commit to a lifetime of learning. Charismatic leaders make use of their confidence to attract other people who can support the vision of a group or individual. With the engagement of consistent activities and the reinforcement from positive examples of leadership, nothing is impossible for you to achieve!

How do you display confidence, competency, and charisma on a daily basis with people? Let us know your advice below!

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Life

3 Simple Steps to Remove Drama From Your Life Immediately

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You come home, tired from work, and as soon as you open the door, the drama hits you in the face. Either your boyfriend/girlfriend is throwing a tantrum which ends up in a full-out fight for hours or your boss has a love/hate relationship with you and gives you so many responsibilities that you end up working late in the night. Maybe it is simply your parents who keep forcing you to take the job, partner or university you don’t really want. (more…)

Bruno Boksic is a writer at Medium.com. An avid reader of personal development books, with a 7-year long experience of helping people become the best version of themselves. I don't have all the answers, but the ones I do, I share through my writing.  You can contact me at boksicbruno@gmail.com

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13 Comments

13 Comments

  1. Alex

    Jan 20, 2016 at 2:12 pm

    Awesome article! Sharing your story of struggle is totally the fastest way gain trust with people because they see that you are just like them and are on their side. Of course, sharing your successes afterward is even more powerful as it helps influence people in a positive way.

  2. Peter

    Aug 13, 2015 at 7:55 am

    A wonderful article! It was one of, if not, the best article I’ve read on addicted2success.

    • Tim Denning

      Aug 24, 2015 at 7:45 pm

      Glad you liked it Peter and got something out of it Thank you for your very kind comment.

  3. Alex Bender

    Jul 17, 2015 at 1:39 pm

    Absolutely love this. One of my mentors has made most of his online income just from telling his story of struggle & overcoming his struggle, now he has his own course showing people how to tell their story powerfully.
    Everyone loves a story and everyone loves a story of struggle and overcoming a struggle.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:48 pm

      Thanks for your comment Alex. I would love a link to your friends story if you could share it on here.

  4. Sammy

    Jul 15, 2015 at 6:27 am

    I think its a great idea, but it has to have a positive message and it can’t be constant as it loses it’s impact and can come across as focusing on the negative.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:47 pm

      Sammy, your spot on, there must be a positive lesson from your story of struggle otherwise people won’t be attracted to it. Who wants to hear a story where the moral is, the world is going to end?

  5. Jax

    Jul 13, 2015 at 4:26 pm

    Great article! I just recently started a new blog that is sharing the struggles I’m going through to do a live rags-to-riches (hopefully!) story. I appreciate the extra motivation this post provides. Thanks!

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 17, 2015 at 11:46 pm

      Good luck Jax I hope your blog goes well

  6. Ethan

    Jul 9, 2015 at 7:18 pm

    Nice article, Tim!

    I feel like I’m still “in the making” of my own story of struggle, which I can’t really share as of this moment yet. 🙂

    But you’re absolutely right–one must share at least one story. There was a time when I remembered the names of the people I did and still do admire simply because of their stories of struggle. There’s just priceless value in there. It’s true that you’d want to hear another person talk about a struggle that’s very similar to yours, but it’s also quite true that all struggles are the same–a struggle is a struggle–it only comes in many, many forms.

    Inspiration makes the world go round! I bet there are lots of others who are also “in the making” of their own story.

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 11, 2015 at 11:30 am

      Thanks so much Ethan. I agree that most stories of the struggle are similar, but sometimes you have to hear something lots of different ways before you have a bank of references that you can draw upon in times of fear.

      Thanks for reading Ethan!

  7. Meenakshi

    Jul 9, 2015 at 4:43 pm

    Florence Scovel Shinn says “Be undisturbed by a situation, and it will fall away of its own weight. “

    • Tim Denning

      Jul 11, 2015 at 11:28 am

      A very powerful quote. Thanks Meenakshi!

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Success Advice

I Embraced These 5 Characteristics. Best Decision I Ever Made.

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The other day I was putting together a guide for my clients on how to succeed in social media.

All of a sudden, I had an epiphany – a life-changing moment of clarity that was so incredibly rare.

I realized that the things I’ve learned about social media actually apply more broadly to life.

The key differentiator between those who achieve a lot of success online are these 5 characteristics:

 

Characteristic 1 – Humbleness

Achieving success on social media leads to a large number of messages from all sorts of people. Remaining humble and talking to people like you’re on their level has helped me to get people’s respect.

Humbleness creates beautiful conversations that touch your soul and make you and the other person feel phenomenal.

A bit of success can easily make you feel superior and so humbleness is the way to stay grounded and not forget who you are, and where you’ve come from.

Humbleness is a brilliant decision.

 

Characteristic 2 – Gracefulness

The world of social media is fast-paced and often frantic. Being graceful has allowed me to move slower at times and reflect on each thing that I do in my life.

“Rather than trying to walk over the top of what everyone else is trying to do and charge through the battlefield of social media like an out of control soldier who’s gone rogue, I’ve learned to be more graceful”

Being graceful is difficult to explain at times. I see it as making moves with composure, calmness and keeping balance between the many tasks that can pull us from side to side (such as distractions).

Slow down, think about your decisions carefully and be graceful as you make your moves.

Gracefulness is a decision that will make you calm.

 

Characteristic 3 – Kindness

The secret ingredient of all of my online success. It’s also the same ingredient that many of the people you look up to use.

When you meet a stranger, you be friendly.
When someone praises one of your Facebook posts, you be kind and say thank you.
When you see someone struggling and you can help, you offer your time.

Kindness is a characteristic that bonds all of us together. It will bring more good things in your life than any other trait.

“Kindness is a belief in yourself and your fellow humans to do the right thing”

Kindness is a belief that we can all be better by helping each other and doing so in a generous, friendly and considerate way.

Above all else, kindness is the best decision you can make.

 

Characteristic 4 – Vulnerability

There’s a temptation with social media to hide behind a mask and pretend you’re happy and living this amazing life that everyone else should be envious of. Vulnerability has been a trait I’ve used to bring people in and show them the real me.

Vulnerability is when you share your epic failure.
Vulnerability is when you’re not afraid to show weakness.
Vulnerability is admitting something made you cry.
Vulnerability is admitting you’re not okay.

Putting vulnerability into everything you do makes you human. People want to see you be vulnerable and it shows huge amounts of courage at the same time. Rather than getting attached to your critic’s opinions, vulnerability can help you go further and be authentic.

When you crush your fear (like my well-known public speaking one), you should share that vulnerable moment with your family, work friends and online connections.

You’ll sometimes experience some fear when you attempt to be vulnerable and that’s usually a sign that you are going outside your comfort zone which is good.

Breaking your comfort zone is how you grow and that’s what will give you the strength to attack bigger goals in the future. Don’t back away from being vulnerable; face into it.

Vulnerability is a decision to stand out from the crowd and be you – warts and all.

 

Characteristic 5 – Willingness To Share (no strings attached)

Sharing is the act of demonstrating you have enough. It’s a form of gratitude.

As an example, the other day, a guy asked me how I do my video posts and within a few minutes I sent him back, step-by-step, how I do them.

He was shocked!
He couldn’t believe I’d tell him step-by-step and want nothing in return.

I embraced a willingness to share because I realized like most of you, that no one has a monopoly on information or ideas. Anyone can find anything out thanks to the Internet. So, what’s the point of hiding your knowledge? There is none.

Share what you know, and maybe one day they’ll return the favor. All of us have useful lessons, failures, stories and ideas to share. Rather than hide them, share them for the world to see.

This willingness to share has worked for me and it’s fuelled my side business but I’ve only found it to work when you share with no strings attached.

“The moment you expect something in return, people can sniff out your selfishness like a dog at the airport sniffing for drugs”

Most of the knowledge and strategies I’ve obtained that are responsible for my success have come from other people’s willingness to share. It’s only fair that I return the gift and that you do the same.

Sharing is a fantastic decision to make.

 

Why these 5 characteristics work.

These five traits have led me to discover my version of success and I believe they are most of what you need to succeed at any pursuit in life.

Once these traits become habits, you’ll do them without thinking. These traits are what have compounded my success and I honestly believe they will do the same for you.

These five traits are the foundation for anyone wanting to do something big and bring the rest of us on the journey. They are also the same traits that will help you build a tribe of people who want to achieve a common mission.

You don’t need piles of money.
You don’t need millions of followers.
You don’t need to overwork and burn out.

What you need is to make a decision to be humble, graceful, kind, vulnerable and willing to share.

These traits work because they each have an element of selflessness about them.
These traits are not about you as such; they’re about what you can do for all of us.

Embracing these five traits is the best decision I’ve made. Will you make the same decision?

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

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Success Advice

If You’re Looking for Success, Here Are 5 Ways to Find It

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looking for success

What do people want when they talk about being successful? Some of us might want things such as a yacht, private island, or a jet. Others want to feel like they belong and have great relationships with their family and loved ones.

We end up wanting things without knowing exactly why. We end up creating images in our heads of what it would be like to own these things, to have these relationships, to live these lives, but we casually ignore the negative things that are bound to challenge us along the way.

Even if we end up building these lives for ourselves, we forget that all life comes with suffering, and anyone who experiences great success will also have moments of frustration and perceived failure.

Here are 5 ways to find success right here, right now, as you continue on the path towards building your empire:

1. Excavate before you begin building

Just as you wouldn’t build a skyscraper before excavating deeply underground the construction site and setting the foundation, you wouldn’t start to develop the foundation for a successful life without first understanding where you come from and what drives you. Dig deep to understand what core truths truly motivate you and what you really care about before you start building yourself up. A career built on a shaky foundation will never stand the test of time.

2. Create a strong network

The Pando is a tree colony on the border between Colorado and Utah. What makes the Pando unique is that it is thought to be one contiguous organism, with a combined underground root network covering over 100 acres. The Pando is thought to be the world’s heaviest living organism, and one of the oldest at over 80,000 years old.

Consider what the journey towards success would be without a strong network. Without security and a strong foundation, you won’t be able to weather the storm when inevitable challenges come your way on the path to great success. In order to be truly successful, you must also be willing to share your victories and your defeats with others.

This isn’t about finding fair weather friends who are happy for you when you have a great accomplishment and disappear in times of trouble. You need to build this strong network and ecosystem which will support you in times of need and through times of plenty.

“Effective networking isn’t a result of luck – it requires hard work and persistence.” – Lewis Howes

3. Strengthen your monkey mind

Take responsibility for the habits you choose to strengthen and cultivate, and be ruthless with the habits you choose to cut out. The Basal Ganglia is the part of the brain responsible for the development of habits, while the Prefrontal Cortex is the part of the brain responsible for complex decision making and thought processes.

The Basal Ganglia is effectively the less developed, most basic part of the brain. This “monkey mind” must be strengthened by building strong habits if you want to teach your subconscious to focus on the right things at the right times.

4. Shoot for the moon

As the saying goes, “shoot for the moon, so you’ll land among the stars.” I honestly hate this saying, as I think it is incredibly corny, but it illustrates the point well. If you aim for a big goal, you will be more likely to reach some level of success and acclaim no matter what happens.

What the saying misses is the amount of planning and preparation that goes into “shooting for the moon”. When John F Kennedy announced his plan to land a man on the Moon by the end of the 1960s, he set the United States on a road to investing more on a single project than at any other time in human history.

The combined efforts and finances of the most powerful nation on earth all went into making sure the mission would be a success, and as a result humanity came together to accomplish something magnificent.

So, when you’re aiming for something big, don’t half ass it, make a bold announcement, loop in your supporters, and try to change the world. Sometimes when you aim big, you’ll be surprised by who jumps in to lend a hand.

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – Les Brown

5. Make your heart sing

One of the most important factors that defines true success is the ability to do something on a regular basis that brings you joy. While your job won’t always be interesting, and all things done with regularity become monotonous, you should strive to find what makes your heart sing about the work you do and the world in which you live.

Only if you are able to tap into what makes your heart truly sing will you be able to call yourself a success in your daily life. Don’t ask yourself what you love about your job, or even what made you first get interested in your line of work. Instead, ask yourself, what about your current role makes your heart sing.

If you don’t know how to answer that question, perhaps you should go back to step one and start excavating your foundation.

How are you making sure you achieve success this year? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

5 Neuroplasticity Exercises the Top 3% of the Happy and Successful Do

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Neuroplasticity Exercises

Neuroplasticity means you will no more have to wake up each morning with the dread of having to start a new day of which you already know the outcome. For decades, it’s been the same routine, you get up with negative feelings that your day will turnout just like the day before full of stress and discontent.

Whether it’s concerning your job/career, a relationship, finances, or health, you just know everything will go against you no matter what you do. You may have fallen into the trap of having a fixed mindset where you think your abilities to learn and accomplish more in your life are limited.

The truth is you may have limitations, but you can still envision better solutions. Your brain is ready and willing to go the extra mile to learn how to solve all the issues your facing in life but it’s that doubt, worry, and fear that continually creeps into the thought pattern which acts as the action killer.

Neuroplasticity isn’t some kind of new Play-Doh for kids, it’s the power your brain has to rejuvenate and create the life you want. Neuroplasticity – or brain plasticity – is the brain’s ability to modify its connections or rewire itself. Without this ability, any brain, not just the human brain, would be unable to develop from infancy through to adulthood. It has now been proven the brain continues to learn and rejuvenate itself as new data is received and stored.

You may say, “You’re just wired to be unhappy.” or “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” That’s the beliefs and train of thought our culture has today due to our primitive and out of date educational system along with the big corporation’s ideology.

“Brain plasticity is a two-way street. It’s just as easy to generate negative changes as positive ones.”

Here’s the eye-opening truth, you can change and rewire your brain for happiness and success We have habits that turn into beliefs which distort our perceptions of life and the world around us. Habits are strong persuaders to your actions in familiar areas of life so, when you disrupt those habits it sends the brain into a little chaos until change takes place.

That’s fantastic news because if we can create habits that distort our brain, we can also create habits that reveal and rejuvenate clear precise solutions to our challenging issues. So, how do you start retraining your brain for happiness and success?

Start changing habits to increase brain power with these proven neuroplasticity builders below:

1. Aerobic Exercises

A 60-minute intense workout gives the best results but just in case you’re not a fitness addict, taking a leisure stroll through the park will light up different parts of your brain and aid with neuroplasticity.

2. Reading a good book

If you hate sitting down and taking the time to read a good book or magazine, that’s fantastic because doing things you don’t like and are different stimulate your neurons to the max.

3. Playing games

It can be challenging on the brain to try and figure out all the winning strategies to become the champion in a board game. Nonetheless, these will really get the old brain juices flowing.

4. Anything out of the ordinary

Doing something out of the ordinary will trigger the brain plasticity you’re looking for. Things as simple as brushing your teeth with the opposite hand. If your right-handed start brushing with the left or vise-versa.

Learning is thought to be “neuro-protective.” Through neuroplasticity, learning increases connections between neurons, increases cellular metabolism, and increases the production of nerve growth factor, a substance produced by the body to help maintain and repair neurons.”

“Neuroplasticity provides us with a brain that can adapt not only to changes inflicted by damage, but allows adaptation to any and all experiences and changes we may encounter.”

5. Smile

Smiling starts your day off with a BANG and can give those brain cells of yours an extra boost anytime anywhere. It’s like taking a shot of super juice to overcome the stress, worry, and frustrations during the day.

In the mornings when you open those big beautiful sexy eyes of yours put on a smile from ear to ear on your face. This will trigger your brain to release the feel-good neurotransmitter dopamine.

Dopamine is classified as the happy chemical in neuroscience which has the ability to create a state of euphoria throughout your entire body in a matter of seconds. It vanquishes the feeling of stress, worry, and frustration immediately. The great thing is dopamine works every single time and it doesn’t matter if the smile is genuine or fake because the brain can’t distinguish the difference.

The bad thing is statistics show, adults only put a SMILE on their face an average of 4 times a day compared to child who SMILES an average of 400 times a day. If you want to rewire your brain for happiness and success while defusing stress, worry, and frustrations in your life daily it may be wise to start following the examples of our children.

Above are some exciting proven avenues to invigorate neuroplasticity to your brain functions and start living and loving life to the fullest on your own terms.

Would love to hear about your personal exercises being used to rejuvenate your brain for happiness and success in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Success Advice

The 3 C’s of Leadership That Determines Your Success

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leadership

Have you caught the seasonal flu or a common cold this winter season? If so, you likely received advice to drink a glass of orange juice for the benefits associated with consuming Vitamin C. To repair an immune system that has been weakened by the common cold or flu, Vitamin C can provide the body with nutrition that can expedite recovery time. When it comes to exhibiting positive leadership behaviors there exists three qualities that also begin with the letter “C” and are helpful.  

To receive the Vitamin C’s of leadership, you must start with a desire to improve. One camp might endorse that you find mentorship from a senior colleague. Another person or group may recommend that you spend more time reading articles or books discussing leadership experiences and advice. With either point of origin, it can open a path to growth and improvement as a leader. However, you chose to proceed with the second inquiry which is why you are here!

We often believe that leadership is a cumbersome and daunting process. It can be difficult, but if we are strategic about cultivating a few characteristics, the mountain to positive impact is a little more feasible to climb. From school teachers and administrators to business executives and their employees, I have found that all great leaders possess a minimum of three dominant characteristics.

These three dominant features can provide an individual with the strength to continue during the difficult times that often accompany leadership; they are similar to the Vitamin C that can make you feel better when battling a cold or the flu.

Enough already, what are the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success? See below:

1. Confidence

Leaders believe in themselves and the people they serve. This positive self-awareness or confidence that effective leaders have, often radiates in every aspect of their work from communication with others to informed decisions. One strategy you can use to develop confidence is the commitment to being the first one to speak during a meeting or class. Successful leaders are willing to express themselves in a variety of capacities, even when they may possess less common viewpoints or modes of behavior.

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” – John C. Maxwell

2. Competency

Building on the importance of confidence, effective leadership is about being able to create a personal development plan that consistently encourages you to improve. Some of the most revered leaders in our society, strategically make time to read daily. Warren Buffett and Oprah Winfrey are two of the most common examples of this relentless thirst for knowledge.

They have committed to life-long learning that continues, despite reaching nearly every financial and business goal possible. To become more competent, you can create a schedule that allows for the investment in activities such as reading articles and books to stay informed.

3. Charisma

You might call it SWAG or a gift, but the ability to attract other people who support you and your work are essential. It is not necessary to resemble a supermodel to get people to like you, but you do need to carry yourself with a certain level of pride to effectively encourage others to follow your advice and instructions.

Charisma is a byproduct of possessing confidence in yourself to serve as a useful leader. You can build more charisma in your life, by being more mindful to genuinely listen and respond to your colleagues, family, and friends in conversations. Don’t allow yourself to become intimidated by the responsibilities that can come with the roles of a leader.

“I attract a crowd, not because I’m an extrovert or I’m over the top or I’m oozing with charisma. It’s because I care.” – Gary Vaynerchuk

In many cases, you would not be in the position to earn followers without the necessary qualifications or skill set. Excelling in leadership is possible for you when you are consistent with tapping into the power of the Vitamin C’s of leadership and success.

Confidence, Competency, and Charisma can offer a bountiful number of resources to serve others in authoritative roles of professional and personal environments. Confident leaders believe in themselves, their products, and their services. Competent leaders commit to a lifetime of learning. Charismatic leaders make use of their confidence to attract other people who can support the vision of a group or individual. With the engagement of consistent activities and the reinforcement from positive examples of leadership, nothing is impossible for you to achieve!

How do you display confidence, competency, and charisma on a daily basis with people? Let us know your advice below!

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