Success Advice
5 Surprising Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Success
Everyone’s entitled to having a bad day every now and then. Yet, when a bad day has turned into a bad week, or maybe even a bad month, it’s time to pause and assess, before your leadership reputation is on the line.
It is critical to be aware of the attitude and energy you exude to be effective and respected in leadership. During times of pressure and stress, the brain defaults to familiar behavior patterns, regardless if the behavior is helpful to the situation. These patterns may be destructive and undetectable until the consequences are blatantly obvious and alarming.
This is self-sabotage at its best, and here are some helpful cues to keep it from getting the best of you.
There are five common self-sabotaging identities that undermine and, in some cases, hinder future opportunities and successes for some of the most talented executives and entrepreneurs.
The negative behaviors include:
- Being a complainer. Constantly pointing out what’s going wrong in a situation prevents you from presenting yourself as a problem-solver and expert in the room.
- Being defensive. Always having an explanation for your actions–even when they’re not working–prevents you from building trust with clients and team members.
- Being hypercritical. If you’re finding a problem with every solution, you’ll never find a solution to the problem.
- Being self-deprecating. If you underestimate your ability to handle problems from the start, you’ll hold yourself back from taking on tasks.
- Being a fatalist. When we give power to the worst case scenario, we can also bring it to fruition and we forget about opportunities for success.
Most people identify with one primary self-sabotaging identity type, and some self-identify in multiple categories.
Developing awareness of your sabotaging behavior identity is the first step in disrupting the destructive pattern. The next step is to adapt a positive behavior disruptor to replace the current behavior pattern. The hint is to assign a trigger word to the self-sabotaging behavior to activate the new behavior. The trigger word becomes the cue to the new response when the instinct is to begin the self-sabotage pattern.
Trigger Words to Uplevel Your Success
- To eliminate the complaining, think ELEVATE. Constant complaining and fixating on the hurdles quickly exacerbates a small problem into a larger problem. Leaders elevate the mindset of others when they reframe challenging circumstances and present possibilities. Elevating the viewpoint of the obstacle offers greater perspective and clarity on the issue and elicits greater morale in achieving a positive outcome.
- To stop being defensive, think QUESTION. Defensive behavior prevents clients and team members from feeling seen, heard and acknowledged. Asking a question like, “how did this circumstance impact you?” offers the opportunity to better understand the other perspective to achieve a mutually beneficial resolution.
- To quit being hypercritical, think FORWARD. Finding a problem with every solution keeps you stuck in the problem, and questions your tenacity to find a solution. Instead of waiting for the perfect solution, commit to trying various solutions until the best possibility is uncovered.
- To do away with self-deprecation, think EMBRACE. Clients and team members look to you for your unique gifts and inspiration as a leader. Embracing your brilliance means validating your natural talents and strengths so you approach any given problem with confidence.
- To defeat the fatalist, think RECALIBRATE. To avoid bringing a worst case scenario to life, envision your brain like a GPS. As each roadblock is detected, direct your thought process to create the detour toward the optimal destination.
Posting the trigger words in places where you often look provides a visual reminder of the new behavior pattern. Places like – the wallpaper on your phone, a post-it on your computer screen, or hand written at the top of a legal pad are useful places to reinforce the changes you are making.
Too many executives and entrepreneurs place more value on the amount of work they complete in pursuit of their goals, rather than placing value on the attitude and energy they exude in the process. They find the time to go above and beyond with demonstrating the quality of their work reinforcing the belief that hard work will earn great success. While there is no disputing that hard work is part of the equation, it is critical to recognize it, alone, will only get you so far.
Hard work married with mental strength is the dynamic duo protecting your success from self sabotaging behavior.
Entrepreneurs
The Brutal Truth About Entrepreneurship with ADHD (And Why Most Advice Is Making It Worse)
You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined… and you’re definitely not broken.
You’re an entrepreneur with ADHD, and right now you’re probably sitting on 19 unfinished projects, 47 open tabs, and a brain that feels like it’s running on 12 different radio stations at once.
You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the planners, the Pomodoro timers, the accountability groups. You’ve even hired coaches who promised to “fix” your focus. Yet here you are — brilliant ideas, massive potential, and a business that still feels like it’s one step away from collapsing under the weight of your own mind.
Here’s what almost nobody in the entrepreneurial space will admit:
The real struggle isn’t your ADHD. It’s that you’ve been trying to run a neurodivergent brain inside a neurotypical business model — and then beating yourself up when it doesn’t work.
Most advice for entrepreneurs was written by people whose brains work differently. They preach consistency, routines, long-term planning, and steady execution like those things are universal truths. For the ADHD entrepreneur, those “truths” feel like trying to swim upstream in cement. You can force it for a while (and you have), but eventually your brain rebels, the burnout hits, and you’re left feeling like a failure who just needs to “try harder.”
That cycle is quietly destroying more talented founders than cash flow problems or bad hires ever could.
The deeper layer most people never reach is this: your ADHD isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a different operating system entirely. And when you stop trying to install Windows on a Mac and start building everything around macOS, the game changes completely.
The Hidden Addiction That Keeps ADHD Entrepreneurs Stuck
You already know the surface symptoms — time blindness, rejection sensitivity, starting strong and fading fast, shiny object syndrome.
But the real trap is more insidious.
It’s the addiction to chaos and novelty.
Your brain is wired for dopamine. New ideas, big visions, last-minute sprints, high-stakes pressure — these things light you up like nothing else. The boring, repetitive, systems-building work that actually scales a business? It feels like torture.
So unconsciously, you keep your business in a state of controlled chaos. You say yes to too many things. You chase the next exciting opportunity. You avoid building the boring infrastructure because “I work better under pressure anyway.”
And every time the pressure gets too high, you crash, swear you’ll get organized next quarter, and repeat the cycle.
Meanwhile, the neurotypical advice keeps telling you to “just build better habits.” As if your brain is a poorly trained dog that needs more discipline instead of a high-performance race car that needs the right fuel and track.
This isn’t a character flaw. It’s neurology.
And until you stop treating your wiring as something to overcome and start treating it as your greatest strategic advantage, you’ll stay stuck in the same exhausting loop.
The Identity Shift That Changes Everything
The entrepreneurs with ADHD who finally break through don’t “fix” their brains.
They redesign their entire business to work with their brains.
They stop trying to become the consistent, routine-loving founder the gurus talk about. Instead, they become the architect of a system that leverages their natural strengths — hyperfocus, pattern recognition, creative problem-solving, relentless drive under pressure — while outsourcing or automating everything that drains them.
This is the layer most ADHD entrepreneurs never reach because it requires something terrifying: accepting that you are never going to be “normal” at entrepreneurship… and that’s exactly why you can win bigger than most.
Your ability to see connections others miss. Your tolerance for uncertainty. Your capacity to go all-in when something lights you up. These aren’t liabilities. They’re unfair advantages in a world that rewards speed, creativity, and bold moves.
The shift is simple but brutal:
Stop trying to manage your ADHD. Start designing your business around it.
How to Actually Build a Business That Works With Your Brain
- Stop fighting your energy cycles — weaponize them. Most ADHD entrepreneurs try to force 8-hour focused days. That’s insane. Instead, track when your brain actually works best (for many it’s 10pm-2am or random 4-hour hyperfocus bursts). Build your schedule around those windows. Protect them like gold. Do the deep, high-leverage work then. Use the low-energy periods for admin, calls, or recovery.
- Build “chaos containers,” not rigid systems. Traditional project management tools feel like cages. Create loose but effective structures that give your brain freedom. Use tools like Notion with massive flexibility, or body-doubling (working alongside someone virtually), or even hiring a “chaos wrangler” — an assistant who thrives on turning your scattered ideas into executable plans.
- Turn your rejection sensitivity into rocket fuel. That intense fear of letting people down or looking stupid? Channel it into creating ridiculously high standards for your customer experience or product quality. Use it as fuel instead of letting it paralyze you.
- Outsource the parts that make you want to die. The execution, follow-through, and maintenance phases are where most ADHD entrepreneurs lose. Hire or partner with people who love the details. Your job is vision, strategy, and big swings. Let someone else own the spreadsheets.
- Create external pressure on your own terms. Deadlines and public commitments work wonders for the ADHD brain. Use them strategically — announce launches, create beta groups, or work with coaches who understand neurodivergence instead of fighting it.
The entrepreneurs with ADHD who are quietly crushing it right now aren’t the ones who finally became “disciplined.” They’re the ones who stopped apologizing for how their brain works and started building empires that are specifically engineered for it.
They have teams that handle the boring stuff. They have systems that flex with their energy instead of fighting it. They’ve turned their “flaws” into the exact reasons their businesses stand out.
Your ADHD brain is not the enemy. The enemy was trying to play the game by rules that were never designed for you.
The moment you accept that and start designing everything… your calendar, your team, your offers, your processes — around how you actually operate, the struggle doesn’t disappear… but it becomes manageable, even exhilarating.
You were never meant to fit the mold. You were meant to break it and build something better.
The world doesn’t need another cookie-cutter entrepreneur. It needs the chaotic, brilliant, all-in, slightly unhinged visionaries who can only operate at full power when the game is built for them.
That’s you.
Stop trying to fix yourself. Start building the business that was always meant to be run by a mind like yours.
Your next breakthrough isn’t going to come from working harder or being more consistent. It’s going to come from finally giving yourself permission to work differently.
And when you do that? Watch what happens.
The same brain that once felt like a curse becomes the exact reason your business becomes unstoppable.
You’ve got this. Not despite the ADHD. Because of it.
If you want to learn more from me or send me a personal message I’ll respond to you on Instagram at https://instagram.com/iamjoelbrown speak soon!
Coaching
The Hidden Addiction That’s Quietly Destroying Most Coaches and Consultants (And the One Shift That Finally Sets You Free)
You’re damn good at what you do.
Clients have breakthroughs. They send you the late-night voice notes about how you changed their life. Some even credit you with saving their marriage, their business, or their sanity.
Yet here you are… exhausted, trading hours for dollars, wondering why your income hasn’t doubled in the last two years while your calendar is still packed with 1:1 calls.
You’ve tried the funnels. You’ve raised your prices (a little). You’ve posted the content. And still… the business feels heavy. Like you’re carrying every client on your back.
Here’s what almost nobody in this industry will tell you:
You’re not stuck because you lack strategy.
You’re stuck because you’re addicted to being needed.
And that addiction is invisible, socially rewarded, and absolutely lethal to scaling.
Most coaches and consultants entered this work because they genuinely care. They’ve felt the pain of being unseen or unsupported in their own past, so they became the person they once wished existed for them. That empathy is your superpower in the room with a client.
But the same wiring that makes you exceptional at holding space for someone else’s transformation becomes the exact thing that keeps your business small, stressful, and one person away from collapse.
You get a hit of meaning every time a client says “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
Your nervous system registers that as safety, as worth, as proof that you matter.
So unconsciously, you start designing your entire business model to keep getting that hit.
You keep the business one-to-one. You underprice because “I don’t want to make it inaccessible.” You say yes to extra sessions, extra support, extra emotional labor. You resist group programs, courses, or team members because “they need my personal touch.”
Deep down, part of you is terrified that if clients become truly independent — or if the business can run without you in every session — then who are you?
That fear never gets spoken out loud at coaching conferences. But it’s running the show for the majority of talented practitioners I’ve watched plateau for years.
This is the layer most people never reach.
They think the problem is marketing. Or niching. Or offer structure.
Those are symptoms. The root is identity-level.
Your self-worth got quietly fused with being the indispensable helper. And every time you try to scale, that old identity fights back with guilt, procrastination, or the sudden urge to “just help this one more person for free.”
I’ve seen it in coaches making $250k who feel like impostors when they consider $10k offers. I’ve seen consultants who could easily productize their process but keep reinventing the wheel for each new client because it feels more “authentic.” I’ve seen brilliant facilitators burn out at the peak of their success because the business finally demanded they step out of the rescuer role — and they didn’t know who they were without it.
The brutal truth: the very thing that makes you an incredible coach in the moment is quietly sabotaging the empire you’re capable of building.
Because real transformation… the kind you actually teach… is about helping people become self-reliant.
Yet you’re running a business model that keeps you (and them) dependent.
The shift that changes everything is this:
You stop being the hero in every client’s story and start becoming the architect of a system that creates heroes without you in the room.
You move from “I have to be there for every breakthrough” to “I design experiences where breakthroughs happen even when I’m not.”
This isn’t about becoming cold or corporate.
It’s about maturing as a leader.
The coaches who break through to seven and eight figures don’t love their clients any less. They just stop confusing love with over-responsibility. They fall in love with building something that lasts beyond their personal bandwidth.
Here’s what that actually looks like in practice for coaches and consultants:
First, you audit every part of your business for hidden “neediness.” Are you the only one who can deliver the transformation? If yes, you’ve built a job, not a business. Document the process. Record the frameworks. Turn your magic into a repeatable system. Your future self (and your bank account) will thank you.
Second, you raise your prices not because the market will bear it, but because charging what you’re truly worth forces you to stop over-delivering and start trusting your clients to do the work. High-ticket clients step up. Low-ticket clients keep you in rescuer mode.
Third, you build assets that create leverage. Group programs. Online courses. A small team of facilitators who deliver your methodology. A community that supports itself. Every asset you create is proof that you are no longer the single point of failure — and that your impact can actually expand without you burning out.
Fourth, you get brutally honest about your own identity. Ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen if my clients no longer need me personally?” The answer is usually some version of “I’ll be irrelevant” or “I won’t feel valuable.” Sit with that fear. Feel it. Then choose the new identity anyway: the leader who equips thousands instead of saving dozens.
The coaches who make this shift report something wild: their clients actually get better results.
Because when you stop needing to be needed, you create the conditions for real empowerment. You model the exact independence you’re teaching. And ironically, people become even more loyal to a coach who sets them free instead of keeping them hooked.
This work was never supposed to be a lifetime of 1:1 calls and emotional labor.
It was supposed to be a vehicle for massive, leveraged impact… while you live the freedom you help others create.
The addiction to being needed feels noble. It gets you praise. It feels meaningful in the moment.
But it will quietly keep you small, tired, and secretly resentful while the coaches who break the pattern build something that outlives them.
You already know how to guide people through hard identity shifts.
Now it’s time to guide yourself through the biggest one yet.
Stop being the person your clients can’t live without.
Start becoming the leader they never want to be without.
Your business… and every future client you haven’t even met yet… is waiting for that version of you.
The question is whether you’re finally willing to let the old identity die so the bigger one can be born.
Most won’t.
But you? You’ve built your entire career on helping people do exactly that.
Now do it for yourself.
Health & Fitness
The Health Planning Habits That Support Long-Term Success
Most people think about health planning only when something forces them to.
A medical bill arrives unexpectedly. An insurance issue appears during treatment. A diagnosis changes how future care needs are viewed. Suddenly health planning becomes urgent instead of preventative.
The problem is that long-term health stability is usually shaped by smaller habits built quietly over time, not just by major decisions during emergencies.
That includes physical health habits, of course, but it also includes how people approach insurance coverage, preventative care, financial preparation, and long-term healthcare planning before problems become immediate.
The families who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often not the ones avoiding every issue entirely. More often, they’re the ones who built systems early enough to make difficult situations feel more manageable later.
Consistency Matters More Than Perfection
A lot of health advice still revolves around extreme change.
Perfect diets. Aggressive routines. Complete lifestyle overhauls.
In reality, most long-term health success comes from consistency people can realistically maintain for years instead of months. Small preventative habits tend to matter more than dramatic short-term efforts that collapse under pressure.
That principle applies financially too.
People often spend more time researching investment strategies than understanding their healthcare coverage or preparing for future medical costs. But healthcare instability can disrupt long-term financial plans surprisingly quickly when households are unprepared for how expensive even routine care can become over time.
The practical side of health planning is becoming harder to separate from overall financial planning now than it used to be.
Preventative Planning Reduces More Stress Than People Realize
One overlooked benefit of health planning is emotional stability.
People who understand their coverage, maintain preventative care routines, and think ahead about healthcare decisions often describe feeling less overwhelmed when unexpected situations happen. The goal is not eliminating uncertainty entirely. That’s unrealistic.
The goal is reducing how chaotic healthcare decisions feel under pressure.
That’s one reason broader conversations tied to healthcare and health insurance have expanded significantly over the last several years. Rising costs, changing coverage structures, and increasing healthcare complexity have made long-term planning more important for average households than many people expected.
Healthcare is no longer something most families can comfortably approach reactively forever.
People Underestimate How Quickly Healthcare Costs Compound
One reason health planning habits matter so much is that healthcare costs rarely arrive in one dramatic moment alone.
More often, they build gradually:
- recurring prescriptions
- specialist visits
- ongoing treatment plans
- insurance deductible increases
- long-term care considerations
- unexpected procedures layered on top of existing expenses
Families often absorb these costs incrementally until they realize how much financial pressure accumulated over time.
That gradual buildup is part of what makes proactive planning valuable. People who think ahead about coverage structures, emergency savings, provider networks, and preventative care tend to adapt more smoothly when healthcare needs eventually increase later in life.
The difficult part is that many households delay these conversations because they feel healthy right now.
Healthcare Decisions Have Become More Complicated
Another challenge is that healthcare systems themselves continue evolving quickly.
Insurance structures change. Telehealth expands. Employer-sponsored benefits shift. Prescription pricing fluctuates. Patients now carry more responsibility for understanding deductibles, provider networks, and out-of-pocket exposure than previous generations often did.
That complexity creates decision fatigue.
Even relatively organized households sometimes feel uncertain about whether they’re making good healthcare choices because the systems themselves are difficult to navigate confidently. A lot of current health insurance trends discussions reflect this larger issue, healthcare planning is becoming less about isolated medical events and more about long-term sustainability across entire households.
People want predictability, but healthcare systems increasingly feel harder to predict.
The Most Effective Health Habits Usually Feel Boring
One thing people rarely admit is that good long-term planning habits are often not particularly exciting.
Scheduling preventative appointments. Reviewing insurance annually. Building emergency savings slowly. Staying physically active consistently. Maintaining realistic routines instead of dramatic cycles of burnout and reset.
None of those habits feel dramatic at the moment.
But over long periods, they create stability that becomes incredibly valuable once life gets complicated. The people who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often the ones who built ordinary systems early instead of waiting for perfect motivation later.
That applies financially and physically at the same time.
Why Long-Term Success Depends on Adaptability
Health planning is ultimately difficult because people’s lives keep changing.
Careers shift. Families grow. Aging parents require support. Medical needs evolve. Financial priorities change over decades in ways nobody predicts perfectly in advance.
That’s why the strongest long-term health planning habits are usually flexible rather than rigid.
The goal is not building a flawless plan that never changes. It’s creating enough structure, awareness, and preparation that future adjustments become manageable instead of overwhelming.
Most people cannot control every future health outcome. They can, however, build habits that make uncertainty easier to navigate when it eventually arrives.
Entrepreneurs
The Silent Killer of Entrepreneurial Dreams (And How to Make Sure It Never Takes Yours Down)
You started with fire in your belly. The vision was crystal clear. But somewhere along the way the doubts crept in. The “what if I’m wrong” thoughts. The comparison to everyone else’s highlight reel. The quiet voice that says maybe you should just play it safe and get a real job.
That voice is the silent killer. Not cash flow problems. Not bad hires. Not even market shifts. It’s self-doubt that quietly talks most entrepreneurs out of their biggest breakthroughs.
I’ve been in rooms with founders who’ve raised millions and still battle it daily. The difference between those who push through and those who fold isn’t talent or luck. It’s how they handle the internal noise.
The game-changer is learning to treat doubt as a signal, not a stop sign.
Every time that voice gets loud, it usually means you’re on the edge of something important. Growth lives right outside your comfort zone. The entrepreneurs who scale don’t silence the doubt—they thank it for showing up and then take the next step anyway.
Here’s how to make that practical.
Keep a “proof file.”
Every win, every positive customer note, every metric that moved in the right direction. When doubt hits, open it. Evidence beats emotion every single time. Most founders are terrible at remembering their own wins. They move the goalpost so fast that yesterday’s victory feels ordinary by today. A simple document or folder where you collect proof changes the internal conversation. It becomes harder to believe the doubt when you have a running list of times you were wrong about your own limits.
Surround yourself with people who are playing a bigger game.
Isolation breeds doubt. A strong peer group normalizes the struggle and reminds you you’re not crazy. The entrepreneurial path is full of invisible landmines. Having people who’ve stepped on a few of them—and lived to tell the tale… makes the journey feel less lonely and more possible. Find masterminds, find mentors, find founders a few steps ahead of you who are willing to be honest about the hard parts.
Reframe failure as data.
Every setback is just information about what to do differently next time. The fastest learners treat mistakes like tuition, not tragedy. This doesn’t mean you celebrate failure or become reckless. It means you extract the lesson quickly and move forward without carrying the emotional weight longer than necessary. The founders who win long-term are the ones who fail fast, learn faster, and keep their identity separate from any single outcome.
Get brutally clear on your “why.”
Not the surface-level money or freedom story. The deep one that still lights you up even when the work sucks. Reconnect with it daily. When doubt shows up, it’s often because you’ve lost sight of the deeper reason you started. Spend time with that reason. Write it down. Say it out loud. Let it remind you that the discomfort is temporary and the mission is bigger than the fear.
And finally, give yourself permission to be in process.
Most entrepreneurs compare their chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten. They see the polished results and forget the messy middle that every successful founder had to walk through. Your story isn’t over. It’s not even close. The doubt you feel today might be the exact thing that forces you to get clearer, stronger, and more intentional than you’ve ever been.
The path of entrepreneurship was never meant to feel safe. That’s the whole point. It forces you to become the kind of person who can handle bigger problems and bigger wins. Doubt will show up. It always does. But it doesn’t get to drive.
You do.
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