Change Your Mindset
13 Reasons You Are Failing At Life And Becoming A Bum
If your life is not where you expected it to be then there are plenty of reasons why. Today I’m going to explore a few of them with you so that you can get clear on what’s holding you back.
Once we’ve uncovered where your weak points are it’s then time for you to get to work on yourself. It’s time to make some breakthroughs and commit to a few small steps each day to turn your life around.
Below are 13 reasons you are failing at life:
1. You haven’t faced a dominating fear
There is one single fear that drives you more than anything else. You already know what that fear is and unless you make a decision to face it, you’ll never succeed at the level that fulfills you. Punch that damn fear in the face and you’ll experience a high that is very hard to come down from. All of your barriers will suddenly not seem too frightening after all. Come on let’s do this!
2. You are not motivated by anything
If you are living your life and are not motivated or inspired by a single thing, then you’ve got problems my friend. There needs to be something that sends shivers down your spine and gives you motivation. We all have this in our life, but many of us have never stopped to think about what causes these goosebump moments.
Find something that gets you excited and that you love doing. Try everything if you have to, just don’t stop until you uncover something that motivates you.
3. You let external forces control you
Is your boss telling you what to do every day? Is your life controlled by the bills you have to pay and your mortgage? These external factors will cripple your success if you allow everyone else to tell you what should be most important to you.
We all have bills to pay and the need to make an income, just don’t let that take over your entire life.
4. You give in to temptation
Are you one of those fat people on Friday night that drown themselves in pizza and beer to try and get happy? Stop giving in to your temptations all the time and have some discipline. You can’t have the life of a millionaire if you let simple little pleasures take you off the main game.
Marketers are experts at tempting us with items we don’t need and unless we become conscious of their tricks, and learn to say no, we’ll all continue to fail at life together.
5. You listen to anyone with an opinion
A friend of mine once said to me “Tim, opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one.” My friend is right we all have an opinion on every subject, but that doesn’t mean it’s a valuable one. People will always tell you what they think you should do, but they are not you.
Yes, you should take advice from others, just make sure you make your own decisions and don’t rely on everyone else to tell you what to do.
“There are so many perceived experts in this world that are nothing more than used car salesman with a cheap suit”
6. You are lazy
Getting out of bed is the first sign each morning that you are on top of your game or as lazy as an elephant on Sunday morning. Action is what will help you to succeed at life. If you can’t be stuffed getting up and having a go, then you will never get anywhere.
It’s time to get up off your butt and put the hours in. It’s time to work five times harder than you currently are and to find some new inspiration.
7. You don’t keep a tidy bedroom
No, I’m not your mom trying to tell you how to live your life. Having a tidy bedroom will tell you that you’re in control and it will keep your mind clear. It’s very hard to do your best work when there is stuff everywhere.
Success is about discipline and keeping a tidy bedroom is part of that regime. Pick the clothes up off the floor and stop living like a slob.
8. You continually put other people down
The easiest thing in the world is to criticise people for something they’re doing. Go to any major sporting game, and you’ll see plenty of people screaming at the players and telling them how bad they are at their chosen sport.
Putting people down is a fantastic way to fail at life. Forget about what everyone else is doing and focus on how you can be better at life. Instead of tearing people down and telling them all the things they’re horrible at, try giving them some inspiration and honoring their work.
The aim of the game is to build people up and find ways to give them constructive feedback that will help them.
9. You can’t stop swearing
Yes, I swear sometimes, and you probably do too. Don’t be a drunken sailor though and make it a habit of using bad language consistently. All you do by swearing too often is show people that you’re not in control and that you don’t have pride in yourself.
Sometimes swearing is needed to drive a point home or demonstrate a certain level of intensity. Most of the time, swearing is not required and serves no purpose.
10. You don’t take pride in the way you dress
How you present yourself is important. If your beard is always overgrown and you smell like you just rolled around in the urinal of a bathroom, no one is going to take you seriously. Take pride in your appearance and don’t be afraid to show your individuality at the same time.
Think about how you come across and know that when you dress well, you feel good too. Putting on a freshly dry-cleaned suit and your best tie makes you feel phenomenal. There doesn’t even need to be any good reason to dress up.
11. You wake up too late
One trait of ultra successful people is that they typically wake up very early. The average time I have measured is 5 am. The earlier you rise, the quicker you can start your day, and the more time you’ll have to get your to-do list done. Sleeping in late is hurting your success.
12. You never help others
When was the last time you did something for someone else without any good reason? You’ll fail at life if you don’t understand that giving makes the world go round. The more you help others, the more you’ll get what you want.
There doesn’t even need to be a reason to do something nice for someone. Learn to take up positive habits like helping others because of the standard that it forces you to uphold. Raise your standards by committing to kindness.
13. You think you’re already successful
So you’re one of those chumps that already thinks’ they’re successful. You might have the fancy car and the briefcase full of money, but that doesn’t make you successful. What’s holding you back is that you think you’ve already achieved everything. You haven’t.
When you reach a level of self-mastery that makes people give you a standing ovation when you walk in the room and fills their eyes with tears, then we can talk about your success. Until then, it’s time to go back to the drawing board and remember that there is always more room to grow.
Put your ego to rest young padawan there’s still plenty more to learn.
How are you going to turn things around? Let me know on my website timdenning.net or my Facebook.
Change Your Mindset
The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable
True leaders don’t just speak their values, they live them, proving that integrity is the foundation of lasting influence.
Leadership isn’t defined by titles, speeches, or charisma; it’s defined by action. The most respected leaders in history didn’t just preach their values; they lived them. (more…)
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
-
Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
-
Read quality literature in your free time.
-
Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
-
Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
-
Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
Work-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen
Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
Change Your Mindset
The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?
Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.
In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
-
Change Your Mindset4 weeks agoThe Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers
-
Success Advice4 weeks ago11 Mark Manson Lessons That’ll Redefine Success in the Digital Age
-
Business3 weeks agoThinking of Buying A Business? These 6 Sectors Quietly Produce the Best Deals
-
Change Your Mindset3 weeks agoThe Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?
-
Change Your Mindset2 weeks agoWork-Life Balance Isn’t a Myth: Here’s How to Actually Make It Happen
-
Life2 weeks ago9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
-
Success Advice7 days agoInside the TikTok Resume Hack That’s Fooling Recruiters (For Now)
-
Change Your Mindset4 days agoThe One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable



3 Comments