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How to Be Okay With Making Mistakes and Why They’re So Important

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making mistakes

I ran my first workshop to two friends in their living room. It was pretty bad. I apologized throughout: “I’m sorry this is so bad!” My hands shook, and I fumbled my words. But a year later, when I’d run a series of successful workshops, I was glad I decided to do that first workshop from my friend’s couch. I was grateful I’d taken the risk, and given it a go because I pushed through the awkward stage in order to get to the good part.

I had similar learning experience while testing my accountability program. I didn’t get a response from one of my testers, so I assumed she had left the program. I thought nothing of it, but then received a message from her: “I thought the program was good. But when I didn’t send in my weekly report and you didn’t check in with me or follow up… I gave up.”

I was mortified. My accountability program was designed to support people each week and I had neglected to do the one thing I promised to do! But here’s what I learned: mistakes are part of it. Mistakes are a rite of passage for anything worthwhile. We have to learn for ourselves what works as it’s an important part of the journey.

Know that you will trip up and make mistakes but it is up to you if you get back up again. There is no “mistake-free” route. Life is about taking action, learning, and re-plotting.

So for anyone starting a new business or something similar, here are four things to keep in mind:

1. Don’t be afraid to let mistakes happen

Let them happen, they will crop up. There is no perfect route! We can’t learn without stumbling (a little). I see the following taglines in many business start-up webinars: “Let me share my mistakes, so you don’t make any!” It’s great to learn from people who are further ahead, but we need to make mistakes.

We have to go through our own learning, to discover what works for us. So learn from the experts or the people who are further ahead but don’t mistake this for “never doing anything wrong”.

If you’re starting something exciting, and hoping to never make a mistake, you’ll have a shock when the inevitable occurs. Instead, be open to it. What mistakes will I make? What will I learn from them? How can I grow from them?

2. Appreciate the risk you’re taking

Not everyone pursues their goal or dream. Not everyone risks new experiences. Whether it’s a new hobby or attending an event on your own, know that there are people who won’t put themselves through it. They’re too scared, and they will make excuses.

My point is to acknowledge the risk you’re taking with your new venture. The courage and strength it takes to push yourself, and keep going is tough so give yourself credit. Know that for every mistake you make, there are ten people out there who don’t have the guts to do what you’re doing. Give yourself a pat on the back. Forget about “winning” and focus on doing.

Don’t think, just do.” – Horace

3. Know that everyone goes through making mistakes

Every single person who created something amazing (a wonderful relationship; a close and loving family; a thriving business) made mistakes along the way. They messed up, they did things wrong and they allowed themselves to learn in order to come out stronger.

Think about anyone you admire: Beyonce; a New York symphony orchestra player; an Olympic snowboarder… do you think they made mistakes along the way? Did they fall down, and get back up again? Of course they did.

Because everything worthwhile involves risk. The people you see at the top of their game have all made mistakes. So take a page from their book and make mistakes now. Make them quickly, improve, and move on. You’ll soon be someone other people are asking how you got to be where you are now.

4. Ignore the judgers

There will always be people who look at what you do, without knowing much (if anything) about your situation, and comment or pass judgment. The funny thing is that most of them do it from the sidelines; they don’t get involved in the game themselves.

In my twenties, I changed jobs a lot. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, so I tested different careers. This experience was vital to learn what worked for me. I grew from it, and it set me on the path I’m on today.

During this time, my great-aunt commented on my job-hopping. She was concerned about it, and shared that with me many times. And yet, she hadn’t worked outside of the home for 40 years.

“My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya.” – Joel Madden

You might wonder how someone can make groundless comments like that but people do. Childless friends who comment on your parenting style. Family members who question your decision to travel the world, when they don’t own a passport. Colleagues who tell you your business venture won’t work, when they don’t have the courage to leave the company they work for.

So what should we do? Ignore them. Let them do their thing, and you do yours, because anyone can criticize. It’s infinitely more difficult to build and accomplish. The question is: what do you want to accomplish and are you willing to risk making mistakes to get there?

What type of business do you want to build? Let us know below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Claire O'Connor is an accountability coach and writer. She works with people who need motivation and structure or who feel lost and stuck. Through her accountability program, she helps people prioritize their tasks and make progress. She is a lifelong learner/mistake-maker. She can be found at www.thefivepercent.net or at https://www.facebook.com/thefivepercent.net/.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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