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How to Appreciate Life and Not Just Exist in It

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Do you sometimes stare off into space and wonder “Why am I here?” “What am I doing?” or “There has to be more to life than just this.” We get caught in the everyday routine of sleep, work, home, sleep, work, home, and…you get the point. 

Since when do we become conditioned to settle for this way of life? Was it from our parents and their parents before them? Or is it from our environment that we have to accommodate in order to comply with the rules in place? I believe this way of life is called ‘existing.’ When we go through the motions of everyday life and fall into the routine, we don’t realize that there is another way of life, which is called ‘living.’

Few people understand the difference and very few people make the leap from existing to living. We don’t realize that there’s another way until we choose to recognize that there is. Usually, it’s shown to us by a mentor, teacher, elder, or a friend. When you choose to ‘live’ rather than ‘exist,’ you start to view your life on earth in a completely different perspective. It’s as if your mind opened and you are seeing your life with a new pair of glasses, never wanting to take them off.

I understood the power of ‘living’ when I saw a mentor in a webinar. The things discussed made sense to me and I wanted to learn more. This mentor was talking about creating experiences to enjoy life, surrounding yourself with rich and loving relationships, and being purposeful and intentional in everyday actions. I wondered “How do you start to live life that way? I want to do that.” I got to work and read anything I could about how to live life, not just exist in it. 

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard

I came across three helpful tips that I use today to guide me in living life. Below, you can read about them:

1. Become mindful and present in every situation

This is a skill that is continuously worked on all the time! What does that exactly entail? It involves becoming aware of your own thoughts and what you say to yourself. We generate thousands of thoughts everyday and it’s impossible to be mindful of each and every one. You can be mindful over most of them though. Becoming mindful requires mental discipline and focus. It’s just like a muscle, it gets stronger with more practice.

Being present is also a challenge that requires mental discipline and focus. It’s being able to appreciate and acknowledge your surroundings, whether it’s eating a meal or sitting at a park or even being stuck in gridlock traffic. 

Reminding yourself to be present in the moment brings to light the ‘living’ part of life. It’s the fall colors in the tree you saw in the park or it’s relishing each bite of your meal and the delicious flavors you’re tasting. It’s paying attention to the here and now.

2. Create experiences

I feel that a majority of people don’t take advantage of creating experiences in their lives. Sure, you take the annual family vacation 2 weeks out of the year but what about the other 50 weeks? What kinds of experiences do you create in the remaining 50? 

Recently, I was listening to a mentor of mine and he shared that given a pool of money, it is best to use the money into creating experiences and adventures than to use it towards objects. The rationale behind this is because with objects, we create momentary happiness with that object. Happiness doesn’t last long. 

When we use money towards creating experiences and adventures, we are left with the memories and the physical response to that adventure or experience. You can relive it again and again. It will continue to provide happiness. When was the last time you created an experience? Was it camping in the back yard with your kids? Or taking a cooking class with your friend? Or how about that weekend getaway with your partner and did everything spontaneously? Inject experiences into your life so that you can ‘live’ and see what’s out there. Create memories!

“The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.” – Louis E. Boone

3. Do more of what makes you happy

I’ll be honest. This is a really tough question for a lot of people to answer. “What makes you happy?” It’s as if there’s some unwritten rule or law about being happy. Like it’s forbidden or something. 

It seems that once you become an adult, you’re not supposed to be happy or happiness is only meant for children. Or worse yet, happiness is temporary. Yes, there are times where we are facing unfortunate circumstances such as a divorce or perhaps you have just been given bad news regarding your health. There can be some bad things in the world. I don’t deny that. But the choice is how you want to feel regarding these circumstances. Even if you are in a horrible situation, there is absolutely something that can brighten your mood, even for a moment. Whether it’s reading a book or going for a walk or even talking to a friend. 

When we become conscious and choose to do more things that bring us joy and happiness, we start to look at life a bit better. When we realize and notice what makes us happy, it’s up to us to make the intentional purpose of doing it often so that we can enjoy being happy. Regardless of if you’re 8 or 80, make sure to allow yourself to feel the emotion of joy and happiness.

I frequently utilize these three tips in my life, and it’s helped me see life in a new way. I’m more mindful of the people I’m interacting with, appreciate and express gratitude in everything I experience, and spoil myself with happiness because there’s nothing wrong with that. Isn’t it time you start ‘living’ and not ‘existing?’

What makes you the happiest in life? Share your thoughts and stories with us below!

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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