Life
How Congruency Shapes The Quality of Your Life
con·gru·ence
kənˈɡro͞oəns,ˈkäNGɡro͞oəns/
Is how you do one thing, how you do everything?
The biggest differentiator I have seen between those who are successful on paper and those who are truly fulfilled is congruency through all aspects of their lives.
The people who are congruent in everything from how they conduct themselves in business, to how they interact in their personal relationships, to how they treat themselves are always the most fulfilled people I’ve found.
How is this congruency created?
It’s created through incredible conviction to an identity that you create for yourself that rolls over into every aspect of your life. You treat the homeless man on the corner with the same compassion and respect you give to a potential client in business. You work as hard or harder on maintaining your personal health as you do on maintaining business relationships. You give the intimate relationships in your life the same attention and focus as you do in your business relationships.
Congruency is key to developing an unshakable identity. When you have the same amount of conviction in all aspects of your life it becomes your natural state. You won’t have to ever “turn it on”, because it will be who you truly are.
The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution” – Stephen R Covey
When you settle for being average in one of the most important areas of your life like your physical health, your emotional health, your relationships, your business or your finances it makes it easier for other areas of your life to slip, because you’re not tying congruency to your identity.
Many people do this in their physical health. They settle for average results instead of having the conviction to committing to getting outstanding results.
When that becomes the normal for one aspect of your life it seeps into other parts of your life and makes it easier to watch things like business slip as well.
When your normal is to fire on all cylinders in all aspects of your life – that is all you know. It becomes your identity and you cannot do anything, but keep moving forward congruent on all levels.
I’ve noticed that there is a redemptive quality to the universe when you are congruent in this way. People trust you and see you as a leader, because they can trust that how you do one thing is going to be how you do everything.
What areas in your life have you neglected?
What would it mean to you and the quality of your life if you brought that area up to par?
That’s where true congruency comes from. Stepping up and being a leader in all aspects of your life.
That kind of person I am describing isn’t a normal person. It is an extraordinary person who gets to live an extraordinary life. Zoom out and get some perspective on your own life right now.
What can you upgrade that will make you more congruent?
Take an inventory on the different aspects of your life and see what you can improve.
Start to take small actions going forward that get you in complete alignment.
The next time you go on a date with your significant other or with someone new – be 100% present and make it a 10/10 experience.
The next time you go to the gym, don’t just go through the motions. Be incredibly intentional about what you want to accomplish and give it a 10/10 all out effort.
The next time you sit down to do some work get yourself into the most resourceful mindset possible, do your hardest task first and complete work that you believe to be 10/10 quality.
I know there is a congruent leader inside of you. Sometimes you just need a little reminder of how great you can be.
Now that you’ve got that reminder, go out there and live a 10/10 life.

Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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