The biggest differentiator I have seen between those who are successful on paper and those who are truly fulfilled is congruency through all aspects of their lives.

The people who are congruent in everything from how they conduct themselves in business, to how they interact in their personal relationships, to how they treat themselves are always the most fulfilled people I’ve found.

How is this congruency created?

It’s created through incredible conviction to an identity that you create for yourself that rolls over into every aspect of your life. You treat the homeless man on the corner with the same compassion and respect you give to a potential client in business. You work as hard or harder on maintaining your personal health as you do on maintaining business relationships. You give the intimate relationships in your life the same attention and focus as you do in your business relationships.

Congruency is key to developing an unshakable identity. When you have the same amount of conviction in all aspects of your life it becomes your natural state. You won’t have to ever “turn it on”, because it will be who you truly are.

The need to learn is our mental need to develop and to grow. And the need to leave a legacy is our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence, and contribution” – Stephen R Covey

When you settle for being average in one of the most important areas of your life like your physical health, your emotional health, your relationships, your business or your finances it makes it easier for other areas of your life to slip, because you’re not tying congruency to your identity.

Many people do this in their physical health. They settle for average results instead of having the conviction to committing to getting outstanding results.

When that becomes the normal for one aspect of your life it seeps into other parts of your life and makes it easier to watch things like business slip as well.

When your normal is to fire on all cylinders in all aspects of your life – that is all you know. It becomes your identity and you cannot do anything, but keep moving forward congruent on all levels.

I’ve noticed that there is a redemptive quality to the universe when you are congruent in this way. People trust you and see you as a leader, because they can trust that how you do one thing is going to be how you do everything.

What areas in your life have you neglected?

What would it mean to you and the quality of your life if you brought that area up to par?

That’s where true congruency comes from. Stepping up and being a leader in all aspects of your life.

That kind of person I am describing isn’t a normal person. It is an extraordinary person who gets to live an extraordinary life. Zoom out and get some perspective on your own life right now.

What can you upgrade that will make you more congruent?

Take an inventory on the different aspects of your life and see what you can improve.

Start to take small actions going forward that get you in complete alignment.

The next time you go on a date with your significant other or with someone new – be 100% present and make it a 10/10 experience.

The next time you go to the gym, don’t just go through the motions. Be incredibly intentional about what you want to accomplish and give it a 10/10 all out effort.

The next time you sit down to do some work get yourself into the most resourceful mindset possible, do your hardest task first and complete work that you believe to be 10/10 quality.

I know there is a congruent leader inside of you. Sometimes you just need a little reminder of how great you can be.

Now that you’ve got that reminder, go out there and live a 10/10 life.