Connect with us

Life

Don’t Burn Your Bridges Life is Too Short to Hold Grudges

Life is a blend of sweet and bitter experiences. Cherish your sweet experiences and annihilate your bitter experiences

Published

on

Image Credit: Unsplash

People have good and bad memories. They cherish their good memories and demolish bad memories. What happens when the bad memories haunt them because of their bitter experiences with others?

At times they are in dilemma whether to forget their bad memories and forgive the wrongdoers.  Is it essential to burn bridges to forget the unpleasant experiences and events arising from wrongdoers? 

In this regard, we will discuss whether you must burn your bridges or not in life.  

Burning Your Bridges is Situational and Contextual

The phrase ‘don’t burn your bridges’ has different meanings. It means basically not breaking relations with others. Humans are social animals and they cannot survive by living alone. 

They need people around them to connect and communicate; share their emotions, and express their expectations to accomplish their needs. 

At the same time, they must choose the right people with a positive attitude to lead healthy, happy, and peaceful life

It is not advisable to burn your bridges except in extreme cases where your relationship costs your integrity and credibility. It is better to burn your bridges when an individual is a liability. It is better to burn your bridges when the person becomes too difficult for you to reform. 

If you find ordinary people with the right attitude, you must keep them close to your heart. Never value relations based on wealth because fortunes fluctuate in life. 

Some people burn their bridges due to miscommunication, perceptions, or hearsay. They must eliminate the barriers in communication; take a relook at their perceptions, and verify the facts and figures before burning their bridges. 

You must note that burning your bridges with the right people is burning your fingers. Above all, burning your bridges is situational and contextual.

Burning Bridges in Digital Era

We live in a digital era with plenty of social media platforms. On social media, people build bridges quickly and burn bridges quickly because they are virtually connected with some expectations and aspirations. Most of them connect for exploring opportunities. 

Some of them disconnect once their expectations are accomplished which is not appropriate. Remember that social media is a tool to connect with people and maintain relations for a long time for mutual benefit.

“Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.” —H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Burning Bridges in my Personal Life

Burning a bridge involves a risk. You must think many times before burning your bridges, especially with your relatives and close friends. I am a victim of rogue relatives in my personal life. 

Some of them are responsible for the pain and suffering of me, my wife, and two sons. But I did not burn the bridges. Instead, I maintained a safe distance from them to avoid landing in further trouble. 

Some of them made efforts to reconnect with me to exploit my brand and connections when I have grown internationally as an award-winning author. I respected them but did not allow them to damage my reputation. 

Remember that nobody is right. We are humans and make mistakes in life. Sometimes circumstances compel people to behave wrongly. Hence, don’t carry unpleasant experiences and events. 

Time will heal the wounds. Offer enough time for the other person to rectify and reform. Think on a clean slate to begin a new era.

We need people from cradle to grave whether they are good or bad. We must make conscious choices with whom to build bridges and burn bridges. Those who cross paths with good people grow in their lives and add value to others.  

Life is all about breaking barriers and building bridges. Of course, some bridges must be burned to lead a peaceful and happy life. When you intend to avoid burning your bridges, choose a limited, quality, and healthy network of friends. 

In this high-tech world, the quality of connections matters more than the quantity of connections.

Life is Great!

Life is a blend of sweet and bitter experiences. Cherish your sweet experiences and annihilate your bitter experiences. When you burn your bridges, you rarely will have an opportunity to reconnect with them. 

Hence, avoid burning your bridges to lead a happy and meaningful life. 

There are no permanent friends and permanent foes in the world. Then why do you burn your bridges and endeavor again to build them?  Think before you burn your bridges because the world is very small. 

To conclude, life is too short to keep grudges. Let bygones be bygones. Forgive your foes. Be magnanimous. Be compassionate. Make a difference.

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: https://www.amazon.com/See-Light-You-Spiritual-Mindfulness/dp/1949003132. He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

Advertisement
Click to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

Published

on

Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Continue Reading

Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

Published

on

By

what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

Published

on

sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

Continue Reading

Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

Published

on

How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

Continue Reading

Trending