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3 Step Process to Uncovering and Deconstructing Limiting Beliefs to Unlock Your True Potential

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deconstructing your limiting beliefs
Image Credit | Joel Brown

On a recent episode of The Science of Success Podcast with Matt Bodnar, Matt discusses something we have all dealt with at one time or another, limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those tiny thoughts we experience every single day that run through our heads and hold us back. “Limiting Beliefs are stories you tell yourself that cause you to self-sabotage.” Explains Matt.

Your brain is hardwired for survival, “Your subconscious doesn’t care about you being happy. The only thing your subconscious cares about is keeping you alive.”

With your subconscious working against you it’s hard at times to be able to identify these limiting beliefs. So what can we do to eliminate these thoughts that climb into our head and hold us back?

Here is Matt’s three-step process to overcoming these thoughts from our subconscious:

Step 1: Become aware of the limiting beliefs

Matt begins, “There’s a couple different ways to cultivate the ability to be aware of your beliefs… one of the most powerful, is meditation. Meditation is an incredible tool for really becoming aware of your thoughts.” Simply identifying that these beliefs exist will pull them from your subconscious and into your mind. “You can then peg these thoughts and say, Hey, wait a second. That was a limiting belief.”

“Half an hour’s meditation each day is essential, except when you are busy. Then a full hour is needed.” – Saint Francis de Sales

Step 2: Write down your limiting beliefs

I love to use something like Evernote and just keep a running list of limiting beliefs as they come up.” Says Matt. Writing down these beliefs enables us to become more aware these beliefs exist and that grows our ability to see them for what they are. “It requires a brutal self-honesty and cultivated reflection…you have to accept reality as it is… These thoughts are there and ignoring them is only going to cause self sabotage.”

 

Step 3: Challenge the truth behind this belief

We do this by putting these beliefs through a four-question framework. The first of these questions, Is This Belief True? There’s really no right or wrong answer, “Many times you’ll say yes, I think this is true. I don’t want to come off sales-y, I don’t think I have what it takes to execute this project. Or sometimes even at a surface level, the belief is just not true.” The first question is simply, is it true?

Next we ask, can we absolutely know that it’s true? “This is a more metaphysical question about what the nature of this truth is. Is it really true?” Matt recommends looking to others, “Has anybody in history ever proven this wrong? Done something different?” We then ask how do you feel? How does this belief make you feel about yourself? “How do you react when you think you can’t be successful?” write it all down. “Feel the anger, frustration, whatever it might be.”

Lastly, ask yourself who would I be without that thought?. Think about how different your life might be if you weren’t holding on to this limiting belief. “You’d be achieving everything you want, you’d be Elon Musk!… as soon as that belief is gone, you can be that person… this question enables you to visualize a reality where that belief is no longer true.”

“Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.”- William James

To really ingrain these new frameworks in your head Matt recommends writing down the whole process. These beliefs might seem impossible to overcome at first, but the closer you get and the more in touch with these beliefs you become the easier they are to eliminate. Using these steps you can find yourself controlling your beliefs and ultimately your actions in a way you never thought possible.

You can listen to the full hour long episode with Matt on Limiting Beliefs and how to overcome them for positive change on Matt’s website.

How do you deconstruct your limiting beliefs? Please leave your thoughts below!

Matt Bodnar, named a “Rising Restaurateur Star” by the National Restaurant Association and a “Strategy Pro” by Restaurant Hospitality Magazine, is a partner at an early stage investment firm Fresh Hospitality where he focuses on deal making and strategy. Bodnar is also the creator and host of "The Science of Success" a #1 New & Noteworthy podcast, with more than 1 Million+ downloads, focused on improving decision-making, understanding psychology, and sharing insights from experts. Bodnar previously worked as an import/export consultant in Nanjing, China and spent several years at Goldman Sachs before returning to his family roots in the hospitality space.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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