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Change Your Mindset

3 Simple Steps to Rewire Your Brain to Create the Life You Want

One of the ways we create meaning is to pursue our life’s calling, fueled by our mission

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Humans are hardwired to avoid and escape pain.

As such, we seek the fastest, most efficient route to avoid and escape. 

We seek short-term fixes in lieu of long-term solutions and inner peace.

When our lives are unfulfilling, when we know we’re not filling our full potential, when we ask, “Is this all there is?” or “Aren’t I meant for more?”, we’re experiencing pain. 

Our soul’s deepest desire is to create meaning; it’s intrinsic to us. 

One of the ways we create meaning is to pursue our life’s calling, fueled by our mission. 

I delineate the two as:

A Life’s Calling is the task (writing, speaking, teaching, composing, sculpting, etc.).

The mission is the why (serving something more significant than ourselves).

Combined, they are the energy that shoots us out of bed each morning and that we’re willing to put it all on the line for. 

The pain we experience, the angst, the frustration, the disillusionment, the sense of betrayal (I did all the things I was supposed to do, WTF?), and the emptiness are products of not having a calling and mission or having a calling and mission – but being paralyzed by fear and unable to take action. 

Because our life’s calling, the reason we’re here is terrifying. 

It flies in the face of how our brains are wired. Our brains don’t give a crap about purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. 

They care about keeping us alive and do a damn good job of it. 

Unfortunately, this is to the detriment of our souls and the overall quality of our lives.

So we chase short-term fixes, which are nothing more than short-term escapes:

We escape through the superficiality of social media, alcohol, drugs, affairs, porn, and binging on Netflix.  

Something, anything, so we don’t have to confront the one person we can’t run from, the one person we can’t escape – but we try our damndest to escape:

Ourselves.

Because no matter how fast we run, we will never outrun ourselves. 

Here are 3 reasons why:

  1. The short-term high from the short-term escape is, guess what? Short-term. When the high fades, when the escape fails, we’ll find ourselves facing ourselves and the truth we don’t want to confront, and we’re back to the chase. It’s the Golden Treadmill of endless escapism.  
  2. Every short-term escape creates long-term, painful consequences. Think that scrolling social media is innocuous and harmless? When we waste our precious time scrolling, we will never be grateful we did when it’s time to breathe our last breath. We will die with regret. 
  3. When we habitually attempt to escape our reality and ourselves through the superficial, we ignore the deepest expression of ourselves. We’re living out of alignment. 

We create a gap between who we are and who we know we want to be. 

The more significant the gap, the greater the need to escape.  

So the questions become:

  • How do we stop chasing short-term escapes and begin creating long-term solutions so we can be the person we desire to be and live the lives that call to us?
  • How do we let go of the superficial and rise to our full potential?
  • How do we decrease the gap?

We begin with these 3 simple first steps:

Clarity: 

Remember how our brains are wired to avoid and escape pain?

Most people don’t know what they actually want in their lives. They don’t know how they want to feel, and they don’t know what they want to create. 

We don’t like not knowing; it’s painful.

Achieving clarity makes the unknown known and eliminates the pain of not knowing. 

What really matters most to you? What do you want?

Pro-tip: Be mindful not to list everything you don’t want. Be clear on what you do want. 

Break the Pattern:

Back to our brains wiring; we’ve survival machines.

Living life on autopilot is the model of efficiency and survival, but do you believe you’re here to live an efficient life?

When you do the same thing day after day, you become an unconscious passenger in your life. 

You’re existing, not living. 

A life set to autopilot is the enemy of purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. 

Break your pattern, change your life. 

Experience Awe and Wonder:

You need to remind yourself of what meaning feels like in your body and mind.

But how?

You can cultivate meaning through the experiences you choose to have.

When those experiences are novel, when they ignite awe and wonder, when they’re moments of truth and beauty, you will create meaning.

Immerse yourself in nature, museums, or concerts.

Try doing the thing that you say you’d never do.

When you experience novelty, awe, wonder, truth, and beauty, you experience meaning.

You’ll ignite something inside of you.

You’ll remind yourself what it feels like to be alive.

Bonus: By experiencing awe and wonder, you’ll break patterns and facilitate clarity. 

Just because our brains are wired a certain way doesn’t mean we’re locked into that wiring forever. 

Even knowing that we’re wired this way is a step towards creating the lives we want to live. 

A friendly reminder:

The moment you decide to change the course of your life, the course of your life changes.

Craig Stanland is a Reinvention Architect & Mindset Coach, TEDx & Keynote Speaker, and the Best-Selling Author of "Blank Canvas, How I Reinvented My Life After Prison." He specializes in working with high-achievers who've chased success, money, and status in their 1st half, only to find a success-sized hole in their lives. He helps them tap into their full potential, break free from autopilot, draft a new life blueprint, and connect with their Life's Mission so they can create their extraordinary 2nd half with purpose, meaning and fulfillment. Connect with him here

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Personal Development

These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident

Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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how to build self-confidence through action
Image Credit: Midjourney

Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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Change Your Mindset

7 Goal-Setting Mistakes That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Success

Struggling to hit your goals? Avoid these mistakes and start winning faster.

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how to set goals and achieve them
Image Credit: Midjourney

I coach ambitious, high-potential people who want to perform better at work and in life. And one of the most common topics that comes up? Goal setting. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

Why Ideas Are More Valuable Than Resources for Entrepreneurial Success

Discover why ideas, not resources, are the true driving force behind entrepreneurial success, innovation, and lasting growth.

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Power of ideas in entrepreneurship
Image Credit: Midjourney

History shows us that the greatest minds, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Stephen King, and countless others, faced failure early on. Yet, instead of seeing failure as the end, they treated it as a comma in their story, not a full stop. (more…)

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Personal Development

Discipline Creates Freedom: Why Systems Make Success Sustainable

Discipline over motivation is the key to consistent progress.

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Discipline over motivation
Image Credit: Midjourney

Most people believe success comes down to motivation. They wait for inspiration, wait until they feel ready, and then wonder why progress stalls. (more…)

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