Change Your Mindset
3 Harsh Life Lessons That’ll Make You a Better Person
Despite the many adversities you’ll experience, remember that with such challenges comes opportunity
Life is incredible; it’s brimming with unique experiences and opportunities for those willing to take risks. However, every coin has its opposing side. And the world we live in is no different. As much as the world offers growth and possibilities, it equally distributes difficulties and challenges—not to think so is naive.
But, with the proper perspective, even these “negatives” can be converted into positives and, as a result, make you better instead of bitter. Here are three harsh life lessons that will make you a better person.
1. Suffering is Part of the Human Condition
In everything we do, we’re either trying to gain pleasure or avoid pain; the irony is that pain is an inescapable part of the human experience. It’s as fixed in the human condition as the stars are in the sky. For this reason, accepting (and even embracing) it as inevitable helps you manage it better.
Here are a few tips for embracing suffering:
- Do something hard every day: This could be as harsh as daily cold showers or as simple as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Whatever you choose, try to incorporate hardship into your daily life; it will make you tougher and more resilient.
- Don’t self-meditate: Negative emotions are not pleasurable. But the worst thing you can do when you feel sad, anxious, depressed, etc., is self-medicate via drugs, food, alcohol, or other mind-altering substances.
- Be present: Feel your negative emotions; be present with them. Granted, this is easier said than done. However, if you become comfortable with uncomfortable emotions, you will develop mental strength when real challenges or setbacks occur.
Why Suffering Makes You Better
Life can be harsh; it’s filled with challenges and difficulties. You’ll be washed away under the current of adversity if you aren’t strong enough to handle the tide. Suffering develops strength within you. Ultramarathon runner, triathlete, author and retired Navy SEAL David Goggins refers to this as ‘callusing your mind.’
Suffering makes you stronger, so you can better manage life’s challenges. From this perspective, you’ll recognize that suffering is a necessary part of becoming all you can be.
“The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel change, grow or live…” — William Arthur Ward
2. Everything is Temporary
Everyone alive is going to die someday.
Everything you and I build will eventually crumble and become dust; nothing is permanent. Don’t take this as a negative aspect of life. On the contrary, it’s the perfect reason not to take yourself or life too seriously. We’re all dust in the wind! So you might as well live as fully as possible and enjoy your brief time here!
Try these tips to enjoy your life more:
- Set lofty goals and make progress toward them
- Don’t take things too personally
- Maintain connections with those who love and care about you (and vice versa)
- Don’t compromise your values
- Take chances in your life
- Try not to judge yourself too harshly when you make mistakes
- Try not to judge others too harshly when they make mistakes (we’re all doing the best we can)
How Will Knowing This Make You a Better Person?
Understanding that everything (and everyone) you know is only here for a short time may seem depressing or nihilistic. But this knowledge can actually help you enjoy what you have while you have it. It can free you from taking things and people for granted. As a result, you can enjoy your life much more deeply than you ever could otherwise.
3. We All Have a Dark Side
In his international bestseller, The Laws of Human Nature, author Robert Greene dives deep into this concept. His book explains that every human (regardless of how “saintly” they appear) has a dark side. And underneath people’s “kind” or “polite” demeanor resides a dark personality fraught with aggression, insecurities, and self-serving compulsions they actively hide from others. Even more concerning, this dark side seeks expression. And it often seeps out in actions that will confuse or even inflict pain on you.
20th-century philosopher and psychologist Carl Jung referred to this ugly aspect of human nature as The Shadow.
Why Understanding This Concept Will Improve Your Life
By recognizing The Shadow in others, you can avoid naivety and protect yourself against malicious people. Better yet, by recognizing it in yourself, you can integrate it into your personality. This process makes you a more “complete” person, allowing you to accept the “ugly” parts of you that you’re either consciously or unconsciously trying to repress.
Failure to integrate your dark side causes it to seek expression through your behavior in unexpected ways. But benefits to shadow work can include:
- Improved creativity
- More confidence
- Higher levels of self-esteem
- Undiscovered talents/skills
- Self-love, acceptance, and respect
- Increased personal integrity
There are many therapeutic services available to help with shadow work if you want to learn more.
Despite the many adversities you’ll experience, remember that with such challenges comes opportunity. Each tribulation helps you to grow and become more. And when you become more, more of life opens up to you, allowing you to enjoy and experience a broader range of what the world offers.
Change Your Mindset
The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers
Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.
Why Daily Rituals Matter
Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)
Personal Development
These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident
Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.
Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.
But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.
Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.
1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task
Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.
After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.
Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.
But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.
2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First
Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.
Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”
For example, if you’re a writer:
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Research your topic at night.
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Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).
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Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.
You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.
3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace
Focus is the foundation of success.
According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.
Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.
Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life
Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”
This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.
If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.
5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills
Knowledge compounds over time.
Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.
I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.
Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.
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A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.
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A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.
Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.
7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You
I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.
If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.
Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.
Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.
8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions
Good mentors can fast-track your growth.
While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.
If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.
9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations
Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”
Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.
When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.
10. Focus on Your Strengths
Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.
If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.
A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.
Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.
11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Your beliefs shape your reality.
For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.
Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.
Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.
Final Thoughts
Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.
Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.
Change Your Mindset
7 Goal-Setting Mistakes That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Success
Struggling to hit your goals? Avoid these mistakes and start winning faster.
I coach ambitious, high-potential people who want to perform better at work and in life. And one of the most common topics that comes up? Goal setting. (more…)
Change Your Mindset
Why Ideas Are More Valuable Than Resources for Entrepreneurial Success
Discover why ideas, not resources, are the true driving force behind entrepreneurial success, innovation, and lasting growth.
History shows us that the greatest minds, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan, Walt Disney, Stephen King, and countless others, faced failure early on. Yet, instead of seeing failure as the end, they treated it as a comma in their story, not a full stop. (more…)
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