Dating & Relationships
When Your Marriage Ends But You Can’t Afford to Fall Apart
I’ve watched three close friends go through divorce in the last two years. What surprised me wasn’t the crying or anger or late-night calls. The complete paralysis from not knowing what to do next was what actually froze them in place.
You wake up one Tuesday and realize your marriage is over.
Then what.
The 72-Hour Window Nobody Talks About
My college roommate separated from his wife last spring and spent exactly 72 hours in productive chaos. He cried, called his mom at 2am, moved clothes to his brother’s place in garbage bags. But then he hit a wall that had nothing to do with feelings.
He didn’t know if he needed a lawyer immediately or if waiting would be fine. Wasn’t sure whether talking to his wife about splitting their stuff would hurt him later. Had no idea if their situation qualified as simple or if paperwork would drag on for 18 months.
For people going through a divorce in ontario, this confusion plays out in specific ways. Your situation might be straightforward—no kids, separated the required time, you both just want it done—but the forms feel designed to confuse you.
Money Makes You Do Strange Things
My friend Sarah is a nurse who makes decent money. She was convinced she needed a $4,200 retainer just to start divorce paperwork. We sat at her kitchen table one night and I asked her to walk me through what she actually needed done.
Turns out she and her ex agreed on everything already. They’d been separated 14 months, no property fights, no child custody battles. They literally just needed legal paperwork processed and filed.
She ended up spending $347 total.
I’m not saying lawyers aren’t worth what they charge for complicated situations. But sometimes we throw money at problems because we’re scared and don’t know what else to do.
The Shame Spiral Costs You Time
My brother waited 11 months longer than he should have to file anything. He was embarrassed. Kept thinking if he waited another month maybe they’d figure it out.
Divorce feels like a public announcement that you failed. In those months of waiting he paid for a storage unit he didn’t need at $89 monthly, kept joint accounts open that caused three separate arguments, and missed a work opportunity because he wasn’t mentally present enough to interview well.
You can’t heal what you won’t acknowledge.
What Actually Helps
I’m not a therapist or lawyer. But I’ve been close enough to this process to see what actually made things easier.
Accurate information about your specific situation beats general advice every time. Knowing the actual timeline helps you plan everything else—when you can move, when you can start dating again without feeling weird. Having one clear next step is worth more than 50 vague possibilities.
Some divorces need courtroom battles and aggressive legal strategy. But some divorces just need someone to check your paperwork and tell you if you filled out section 7(b) correctly.
Knowing which kind you’re dealing with matters more than anything else.
Your marriage ending doesn’t mean your whole life has to fall apart in the process. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is just get the paperwork done so you can start the actual healing part instead of staying stuck in legal limbo.
Dating & Relationships
Simple Tips for Preparing to Get Married
Getting married is an exciting time filled with love and dreams, but it also requires a lot of planning. As you start this new chapter, remember that preparation is key to a strong wedding day and marriage. From finding the right venue to creating a shared vision for your future, the choices you make now will impact your life together.
Marriage is not just about celebrating love; it’s also about creating habits that help you both on your journey. It brings together your individual plans and shared goals. Let’s look at how you can get ready for your wedding and build a happy marriage.
Open Communication
Communication is essential for a healthy relationship. As you plan your wedding, take time to talk with your partner about your expectations and fears about marriage. This might be a little scary, but discussing the future helps you connect more deeply.
Set regular times to check in with each other. Share your thoughts openly so you can both express your concerns and dreams. The goal isn’t to fix every problem, but to strengthen your bond before the wedding. Creating a space where you both feel heard will deepen your connection over time.
Couples Counselling
Couples counselling Vancouver can be a helpful resource for engaged couples. It offers a safe space to explore your relationship and understand how your backgrounds affect your interactions. This does not mean there are problems. It’s a chance for growth and understanding.
Working with a counsellor helps you discuss topics like finances and family traditions in a supportive setting. Learning to see your partner’s point of view and finding common ground can improve your relationship. Many couples leave counselling sessions feeling more connected and better prepared for future challenges. It’s not just a solution for problems. It’s about building a strong foundation for your life together.
Budgeting Wisely
Understanding your finances is important as you plan your wedding. Start by making a budget that includes everything, from the venue to the flowers. This process should involve both of you and can help you grow closer.
Sit down together and look at your financial situation. Talk about how much you can realistically spend and what matters most to you. By figuring out your priorities, you can reduce stress as the big day gets closer. Creating a budget together promotes teamwork and respect, essential for a strong marriage.
Planning Together
Planning your wedding can feel overwhelming, but it’s also a great chance to work together. Divide tasks based on your strengths and preferences. If one of you is good at décor and the other at organization, assign responsibilities accordingly.
Hold regular planning meetings to stay organized and build excitement for the day. These sessions can strengthen your partnership in unexpected ways. Combining practicality and creativity makes planning enjoyable and shows you can work as a team.
Creating Shared Goals
Talking about future goals is vital as you prepare for marriage. Whether it’s career plans, travel dreams, or thoughts about having children, aligning your visions can deepen your connection. Keep this conversation ongoing and adjust as life changes, but initial talks are crucial.
Explore your individual dreams and then see how they fit together. Picture where you want to be in five or ten years and plan how to reach those goals as a couple. This collaboration strengthens your relationship and creates a supportive environment for your marriage.
Self-Care Focus
In the busy time of wedding planning, don’t forget to take care of yourselves. Remind each other to find time for relaxation and enjoyment. Doing things that recharge you individually helps you bring your best selves to the relationship.
Whether it’s reading a book or going out with friends, putting self-care first benefits both partners. When you feel happy and balanced on your own, it positively affects your partnership. Check in with each other about your emotional well-being during the planning process to ensure consistent support.
Build a Support Network
Don’t hesitate to ask friends and family for help while you plan your wedding. A good support network can lessen the stress that often comes with planning. Surrounding yourselves with loved ones who care about your happiness creates a positive atmosphere as the big day approaches.
Trust your relationship counselling network to provide help, support, and inspiration. Whether it’s sharing wedding ideas or lending a hand, these connections can bring joy during a busy time. Sharing the experience can make your engagement feel less overwhelming and more celebratory.
As you get ready for your wedding, remember that these moments are about nurturing your relationship as much as the event itself. What truly matters is the connection you build along the way. Embrace the journey and let it reflect your love.
Dating & Relationships
How Fatherhood Rewires the Male Brain for Success
Most high-performing men I know approach fatherhood with a quiet dread. They worry the sleep deprivation will blunt their edge. They worry their ambition will soften. They worry the version of themselves that built the career, the company, or the reputation will get diluted.
The research suggests something different is happening.
According to work by psychologist Dr. Darby Saxby and others studying the paternal brain, the transition into fatherhood triggers measurable biological changes. These aren’t losses. They’re adaptations.
The brain actually changes shape
One of the more surprising findings is that new fathers tend to lose some gray matter volume in parts of the cortex involved in mentalizing — the ability to understand other people’s thoughts and feelings. On the surface that sounds like decline. In practice it appears to be pruning.
The brain seems to streamline certain networks so it can process social and emotional information more efficiently. Men become better at reading subtle cues. That skill shows up at home with a baby, but it also shows up at work when you’re leading people, negotiating, or trying to understand what’s really going on beneath the surface of a conversation.
Testosterone drops — and that might be useful
Hands-on fathers typically see their testosterone fall by around 25%. In a culture that treats high testosterone as an unqualified good, this can feel like a threat. Biology appears to have a different priority.
Higher testosterone supports competition and status-seeking. A moderate drop seems to support bonding and reduce conflict at home. Men who land in the mid-range tend to adapt better than those whose levels stay extremely high or crash too low. Extremely low levels have been linked to higher risk of depression in new fathers.
The shift isn’t about becoming less driven. It’s about the drive getting redirected.
Parenting as cognitive training
Raising young children is relentless practice in emotional regulation, perspective-taking, and staying calm under pressure. Some researchers have described it as a form of social-cognitive workout. Studies have even linked having two or three children with markers of a younger brain age later in life.
Physical play — the rough, energetic kind many fathers naturally do — also spikes oxytocin. That hormone supports bonding and appears to have protective effects on the brain, including reducing certain kinds of inflammation.
None of this means fatherhood is easy or that every man experiences these changes the same way. It does suggest the brain is more plastic in response to caregiving than most of us were taught.
What actually helps
The men who seem to handle the transition best treat it less like an interruption and more like a major operational shift. A few practical things stand out:
They talk through roles and expectations with their partner before the baby arrives, instead of assuming it will sort itself out under pressure.
They build some kind of support network instead of trying to white-knuckle it alone.
They protect sleep as much as possible, knowing that chronic sleep debt compounds everything else.
They stay involved in the unglamorous parts of care rather than outsourcing all of it. The bonding happens in those ordinary moments more than in the highlight-reel ones.
Fatherhood doesn’t remove ambition. For many men it changes the timeline and the definition of what success is for. The short-term intensity is real. The longer-term rewiring appears to favor men who can hold both drive and presence at the same time.
The question isn’t whether fatherhood will change you. It will. The more useful question is whether you’ll work with the change or spend years trying to pretend it isn’t happening.
Here’s a great video on Diary of A CEO where you will learn what happens to a Father’s brain when he has children
Dating & Relationships
7 Brutal Truths About Dating an Entrepreneur (And How to Survive It)
Let’s get one thing straight: dating an entrepreneur is not normal. It can be the most exhilarating, fast-paced and deeply rewarding experience of your life, or it can drive you absolutely insane.
If you are dating a 9-to-5 employee, the rules of engagement are fairly standard. You clock out, you come home, you watch Netflix, and you go to sleep. But when you date a founder, you are dating someone whose brain is fundamentally wired differently. They are in the hunt. They view life as a sport, and they are playing to build an empire.
If you are the entrepreneur trying to get your partner to understand you, or if you are the partner trying to figure out if your significant other is crazy, this guide is for you. Here are the brutal truths about dating an entrepreneur—and exactly how to make the relationship thrive.
1. You Have to Fall in Love With Their Vision
The normal rules of romance simply do not apply here. When you date an entrepreneur, there is no separation between the person and their vision. They are all-in, 24/7.
If you are someone who just wants a quiet life, a guaranteed paycheck, and your partner’s undivided attention every evening at 5:00 PM, you are going to be miserable. If an entrepreneur is trying to build a massive empire, acquire assets, and create a legacy, their partner must be on board. You have to be their one-person pit crew. If you fight their ambition, they will eventually resent you. You must love their vision just as much as you love them.
2. They Never Actually “Clock Out”
You might be sitting at a romantic dinner, and right in the middle of a sentence, their eyes glaze over. You ask them a question, and they don’t hear you.
They aren’t ignoring you because they don’t care; they are ignoring you because their brain just connected two massive ideas. They might have just seen how a waiter handled a complaint and figured out how to apply that exact framework to their customer service team. An entrepreneur’s mind is always running. They might wake up at 2:00 AM to type out an idea for an hour. Don’t take it personally; it is simply how they are wired.
3. Solitude is Their Oxygen
Entrepreneurs deal with extreme emotional highs and lows. They can be ecstatic one hour and deeply frustrated the next because they take the wins and losses of their business incredibly personally.
Because their “product” relies heavily on managing people and numbers, their emotional bandwidth gets tapped out. Sometimes, they just need to disappear. They might need a Sunday entirely to themselves, or four hours in a quiet room to just decompress and regain their sanity. A jealous or insecure partner will view this as a threat. A supportive partner will recognize it as vital recovery time.
4. You Must Define Your Language
Miscommunication destroys relationships, especially when time is scarce. Highly successful entrepreneurial couples learn to define their terms to avoid war.
For example, establish what the word “important” means. If one of you says, “It is important to me that you are there,” it should mean everything else stops. No alarm bells, no arguments—you just show up.
Similarly, create an emergency protocol. If you call once, they can ignore it. If you call twice, they can text you back later. But if the phone rings three times in a row, they know they need to walk out of a boardroom meeting immediately because the house is on fire. Defining your language removes the friction of assumed expectations.
5. The Schedule is God
If you want guaranteed time with an entrepreneur, put it on the calendar. Spontaneous moments will absolutely happen—entrepreneurs love random weekend getaways or sudden date nights—but for the day-to-day survival of the relationship, the schedule rules all.
Treat your dates, family gatherings, and vacations with the exact same level of respect as a major investor meeting. If it is on the calendar, it happens. If it is not on the calendar, do not expect them to magically read your mind and show up.
6. Build Your Own Identity (They Despise Laziness)
Entrepreneurs are intensely driven, curious, and obsessed with growth. Because of this, they generally despise laziness.
If you sit at home waiting for them to finish work so they can entertain you, the relationship will fail. You must have your own identity. Commit to your own personal development. Read books, start a side hustle, learn a new skill, or dive into a passion. Entrepreneurs want to date someone who is also in the hunt for greatness. The more you grow your own life, the more attractive you become to them.
7. You Must Be Their Unshakable Number One
Here is the ultimate paradox: an entrepreneur will work inhuman hours, obsess over their business, and sacrifice sleep for their vision. But at the end of the day, you must be their number one priority.
Studies show that a successful relationship isn’t necessarily about the quantity of time spent together; it is about the quality and happiness of that time. If they work 12 hours but come home thrilled to see you, fully present, and deeply connected, the relationship will thrive.
The business means a lot to them, but it shouldn’t compare to you. If the company crumbles, the market crashes, and they lose it all, they need to know they still have the one thing that actually matters. Be their safe haven, be their biggest cheerleader, and never stop building together.
“Behind every amazing entrepreneur that does something big, there is an even stronger partner that backs them up and gives them their strength.”
Dating & Relationships
15 Brutal Truths About Dating an Entrepreneur (And How to Survive It)
Dating an entrepreneur could either be the most exhilarating adventure of your life, or it could drive you absolutely insane.
If you are currently dating someone who is building a business, you might find yourself confused. You might be asking, “Are they psychologically off? Why do they act like this? Do they love the business more than me?”
To save your sanity—and potentially your relationship—here are the 15 brutal truths you need to know about how entrepreneurs are wired, followed by advice directly from the spouse of a highly successful CEO.
1. Their Emotions Fluctuate Wildly
Entrepreneurs can be talking to you one moment, incredibly happy, and an hour later, they are emotionally drained or absolutely ticked off. Why? Their brains are wired to be highly sensitive to the details of their business. They experience the highs and lows deeply. If you haven’t read The Hypomanic Edge or A First-Rate Madness, they are highly recommended to understand this unique psychology.
2. It’s Bust or All-In (The Delayed Gratification)
If you are used to dating someone with consistent cash flow, buckle up. An entrepreneur might make $50,000 one month and $4,000 the next. There is a massive delayed gratification period—usually three to five years of financial pain—before the victory shows up. If you can stand by them when they have absolutely nothing, you will earn an indescribable, lifelong loyalty from them.
3. They Need Solitude to Survive
Sometimes, an entrepreneur just needs to disappear for a day—not to cheat, not because they are mad at you, but to gain back their sanity. Their “product” is often people and numbers, which means their emotions are constantly being pulled in a hundred directions. Don’t be offended if they need to sit in silence for four hours on a Sunday; it actually helps the relationship.
4. The 9-to-5 Schedule Does Not Exist
If the person you are dating clocks out at 5:00 PM every day and refuses to check their phone, they are likely an executive, not an entrepreneur. True entrepreneurs are constantly in the hunt. The drive to create never stops, and the outcome isn’t always about money; it’s about how they are fundamentally wired.
The Fix: If you want their time, put it on the calendar. Treat date night like a mandatory board meeting and remind them constantly.
5. They Rarely Ever Clock Out
You could be sitting at a romantic dinner, and suddenly, they are gone. Not physically, but mentally. They just saw a manager do something that sparked an idea for their own company, and their brain went to work. It isn’t that they don’t care about you; they simply cannot turn their brain off.
6. They Will Resent Ultimatums
If you say, “It’s either me or the business,” you are essentially telling an entrepreneur, “It’s either me or your right arm.” Do not ask an entrepreneur to change their DNA to be with you. If they do change for you, they will eventually deeply resent you for it.
7. They Will Miss Major Events
Entrepreneurs operate on a shot clock. If they don’t make the business work, it goes under. Because of this, they are going to miss events, parties, and dinners.
- The Fix: Tell them the absolute non-negotiables (Thanksgiving, your birthday, your child’s graduation) well in advance. Let them work through the rest.
8. They Talk to Strangers… A Lot
When you go out, they will strike up conversations with waitresses, valets, and random people at the bar. They are not flirting; they are intensely curious. They view every interaction as an opportunity to learn something new.
9. They Ask a Million Questions
Much like a three-year-old constantly asking “why,” entrepreneurs are always seeking feedback. “What did you think of that? Could I have done that better? Why do you think he reacted that way?” Be prepared to act as a sounding board.
10. They Will Attract the Spotlight
Entrepreneurs naturally attract attention, which can be frustrating if you feel sidelined. It is vital for the entrepreneur to intentionally share the spotlight with their partner, recognizing that they would never be where they are without that foundational support at home.
11. Your Friends and Family Won’t Understand
Only about 14% of American workers are entrepreneurs. This means 86% of the population has zero idea what it takes to build a business. When your family tells you, “He works too hard,” or “She should be home by 5:00,” they are judging an entrepreneur through a 9-to-5 lens. Only take relationship advice from people who have actually survived building an empire.
12. They Have Exceptionally Strong Opinions
No one dedicates their entire life to a single, highly risky vision without having strong convictions. Because of this, they will likely have very strong opinions on politics, the economy, and business.
13. They Despise Lazy People
Entrepreneurs can read through BS instantly, and they have zero tolerance for laziness. They want a partner who is also in the hunt, someone who is growing, learning, and striving for something meaningful.
14. They Are Frequent Travelers
If they are building a national or global brand, they are going to be on the road constantly meeting with vendors, investors, and clients. You must figure out how to build your own identity and entertain yourself while they are gone.
15. They Get Bored Very Quickly
To keep up with an entrepreneur, you must be spontaneous, curious, and constantly growing. If you stagnate, the relationship will stagnate.
The Partner’s Perspective: How to Thrive Together
(Insights from Jennifer Bet-David, wife of Patrick Bet-David)
If you are the one dating or married to the entrepreneur, here is how you actively survive and support the journey:
- Be Patient: When they are late, remember they are likely on a call that will eventually fund your future vacations and lifestyle.
- Praise Them Privately, Critique Them Privately: Never air your dirty laundry or argue in front of friends. (Read Love & Respect).
- Build Your Own Identity: Commit heavily to your own personal development. Take classes, learn to ski, read books, and don’t wait around for them to entertain you.
- Be a Uniter, Not a Divider: When they come home furious at an employee or a partner, try to help them see the other perspective rather than fueling their rage.
- Immerse Yourself: Learn about their business. If you undermine their passion, it will create a natural divide that will destroy the relationship.
A Message Directly to the Entrepreneur
If you want your partner to support your crazy dreams, you must uphold your end of the bargain:
- Produce Results: The struggle cannot last forever. You have to eventually go out there and actually make money.
- Actually Work When You Are Away: Your partner is sacrificing time with you. Be productive, not just “busy.”
- Protect Their Trust: Trust is like a credit score. Don’t do things that cause massive defaults.
- Involve Them: Talk to them. Tell them about the business. Do not shut out the person who is holding down the fort while you conquer the world.
Dating an entrepreneur requires massive initial sacrifice, but if you do it right, the long-term fruits of the labor are unparalleled.
Here’s a podcast with my wife and I on what we learned in our dating experience
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