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Are You Feeling Behind in Life? Read This

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One of the biggest myths people obsess over is that they are supposed to achieve certain milestones by a particular age.

There are benefits to comparing yourself to your peers – for someone excelling in a field you want to progress in, they can be an inspiration, driving you further forward than you didn’t think possible without your example.

But on the flipside when you’re on social media being exposed to images of wonder kids, displaying the talent of someone who has spent decades mastering their craft, it’s understandable this may make you feel insignificant.

It doesn’t need to be someone in the online world – it could just be something simple like seeing a friend who has a good job, own their home, and in a solid relationship.

When you compare to yourself – struggling to start your career, living with parents and long-term single, you start feeling behind.

When you get these feelings remember:

Life is about following your own path

When you say you’re behind, it’s worth remembering this is a false statement.  ‘Being behind’ implies there is an official measure where we are supposed to be and what we are meant to achieve by a particular age.  This doesn’t exist and has been created from a combination of societal pressures of what is normal, and our own tough standards of where we think we are ‘supposed’ to be.

You feel behind because your friends are starting a family, storming their career, and setting up a home, but there is no rule saying you are meant to have these things.

They say life isn’t a sprint it’s a marathon, both seem inaccurate as this suggests your life is a competition with others, really, it’s more like a series of personal bests – you set your own path.

When you live like this, you’ll never feel like you are being left behind, because you’re on your own.  Your achievements are what you choose to put your energy into.  As Earl Nightingale said, “Success is the Progressive Realization of a Worthy Ideal.”

Societal expectations

Feeling behind hits young people just entering adulthood hard.  This is because they’ve gone through the education system, which is all about reaching and exceeding milestones.

With this conditioning it’s not surprising they still have this comparison mindset with their peers, forgetting they’re adults, free to make their own decisions, and not following a framework to be considered a success.

There are unwritten rules, imagined pressures deemed by the culture you’ve been brought up in.  For example in western society you may feel a stigma if you’ve not lost your virginity by your late teens.

In reality, a lot of these things can wait until you are ready – keep this in mind when facing these pressures.

“Stay in your lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.” – Brene B

You don’t have to have it all figured out yet (or ever)

This type of advice doesn’t just apply to twenty somethings, there are plenty of people in their 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, older who look at their life and think because of their experience they should be further ahead.

When you reach an older age you feel pressure to be more mature and have life ‘figured out’, and this creates the feeling of being behind.  This is something else imagined, there is no defined requirement that we must understand our purpose – part of the fun in life is figuring this out.

It’s something of a cliché in self-improvement literature to read about people like JK Rowling and Colonel Sanders finding success ‘late in their careers’.  These examples are supposed to inspire hope that the good thing will still happen to you, but really their success is irrelevant as you don’t ever have to figure it out.

Life is about ups and downs

When you see someone that makes you feel behind, you’re not seeing the full picture especially on social media.  There life may not be a good as you think, failing to see their flaws or unhappiness which they choose to hide from public viewing.

This is not meant to be advice suggesting you look forward to their inevitable failure to make you feel better, but a reminder that this can happen to anyone – there are moments progression maybe be halted or even decline by the unexpected such as losing that great job, or a marriage ending.

Keep this in mind – everything is fleeting so keep working at it, enjoy your moments and be grateful for what you do have!

How do you stop this measurement?

There are things to recognise to avoid feeling behind, starting with realising life isn’t a competition, where you are ‘ahead’ or ‘behind’ the crowd.

Constant comparison with what others have is damaging your wellbeing.  If you have a friend who seems to have it all, be pleased for their success, and focus on your own progress rather than viewing them as a yardstick for your own shortcomings.

There is no definitive rules about what you are supposed to do with your life and when you’re supposed to do it – set your goals and invent your own definition of success.

So next time you think about life as being something you are behind in, stop yourself and realise that’s not correct as this world is not meant to be a big measurement of required ‘must have’ milestones.

James M. Lane is a dad of two, husband, project manager and the writer for Perfect Manifesto a self-improvement blog with the aim to inspire you to live to your full potential.  You can follow him on Twitter @Perfectmanifest.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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