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The One Deadly Self Improvement Mistake We Must All Avoid

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Like all self help junkies, I was self obsessed about goals. Goals like becoming a millionaire before 30. I started my personal development journey when I was 23. At first I was super optimistic and I couldn’t wait to change the world! But over the years, things started to change.

Since graduating college, I had a bitter taste of what “the real world” is like. I hate to say it but, no amount of books can get you ready for real life challenges. Yes, you may find a guide that will help you navigate the path, but to endure the path, you’re on your own on that one. Despite getting all the “expert” information in our heads and taking action, the lack of persistence in millennials like me, can be credited to one big mistake.

Thinking That Reading the Top 1% Material Makes You the Top 1%

Just because you read personal development books, watch videos on starting a business and listen to life-hacking podcasts, you are no more special than the next person. It is very easy to get caught up with this idea, that just because you’re in a special group of people who spend time on education instead of entertainment (the Top 1%) – that somehow you are magically part of the Top 1%.

For example, I would look at stats that show 20 somethings growing tech companies and becoming billionaires.I started to think I’m in that special group of people that make it. I would look at stats of 99% of businesses fail in the first 5 years and jump to conclusions that those 99% of people weren’t knowledgeable enough and that I, with all my business reading and education will be in the Top 1% that will make it.

I’d look at divorce rates and assume that the 50% who fail at their marriages didn’t think it through. They never picked up a book on relationship dynamics or watched a video on how to make a marriage last. In short, they’re dumb and I’m smart. Or put it another way, I was an ignorant and arrogant person who seemed to know it all.

“Every beautiful mind has great dreams, but rarely is anyone ever ready to work hard for their dreams.” – Terry Mark

Here’s the thing, reading all the books, enrolling in all the courses and attending the seminars doesn’t make you a pro. You may become a Top 1% expert, but you’re not a Top 1% expert practitioner. Don’t fall for the Top 1% trap as some gurus even explicitly say that you’re in the Top 1% for watching their videos or joining their courses. They say things like most adults don’t ever read a book after finishing college and “insert other flattering elite statistic here.”

It’s very easy to scoff at people who fail, especially when you think you have all the answers, but when you’re put in a similar situation and things fail unexpectedly, then you realize you shouldn’t be so quick to judge.

It happens to the best of us, even the smartest and most experienced people fail. You’re not the chosen one who has a special shield handed down by the gurus, and immune to all these human flaws. You will fail, and everyone does. The trick is not to think that you somehow get special treatment from the universe simply because you picked up a book somewhere.

The Number One Dream Killer

Social media mogul, Gary Vaynerchuk was once asked in one of his vlogs – what’s the difference between those who make it (people like The Rock) and those who don’t. Knowing him by now, most of his followers would expect something like “hard frickin work” or “hustle 24/7” or “grind.”

His answer was “Zero entitlement.” Whether you admit or not, quite a number of gurus out there instill a certain sense of entitlement in you, thinking you’re special because you have insider information, their information.

The dangers of this entitlement mentality is that you will give up much sooner rather than later. You will think “I’m supposed to at least be mildly successful at the first try, knowing how much I know.” Your expectations are set so high that you get demotivated, discouraged and down each time you flop. Eventually, you give up altogether.

“Entitlement is a delusion built on self-centeredness and laziness.”

A Bulletproof Way To View The World

Not long ago, I came across a tweet that silenced the entitled brat in me. It went: “One thing I have learned, running a company, working in VC, and raising/supporting a family: difficult and complicated is the default situation. Hoping for anything else is delusional. Must instead expect hard things and always be willing to face them head on.”

It was written by venture capitalist Nick Grossman and it couldn’t be further from the truth. It is only foolish for us to think that success is going to be easy or at least easier. However, it’s not, and the sooner we realize it, the better off we are at actually achieving it.

How do you make sure you’re self-aware? Let us know in the comments below!

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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