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Stopping Loneliness From Killing You: The Silent Battle

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There’s an epidemic that is going on in our world. It’s one that the majority of people who suffer from it never admit. It’s the cause of many health issues and it often goes untreated. The cures are so simplistic, but they can only be applied when the illness is identified. What’s more, we’ve all suffered and will suffer again from this killer. The killer I am describing is loneliness.

“Studies show that loneliness is associated with higher blood pressure, and heart disease. Loneliness literally breaks your heart”

If that’s not enough, loneliness increases your chance of dying by 26 percent, which is higher than both depression and anxiety. The point I want you to get is that we all suffer from loneliness. It’s a battle that we endure alone, and stay silent about.

We stay silent about it because it affects our ego. Battling loneliness takes courage and strength. We all have these traits deep down inside of us; it’s just that we don’t let them come out and play in the sandpit enough with us.

One way humans attempt to overcome loneliness is by trying to find a sense of connection and identity through addictions like drugs, alcohol and sugar. Numbing the pain of loneliness is not the answer, but you are already smart enough to know that deep down.

How do you know you are lonely?

Loneliness is not about having enough friends; it’s about a feeling of disconnect. When you’re lonely, you feel like nothing is moving you into action and like you have a lack of purpose.

Having a break, and being by yourself, feels lonely rather than invigorating. Spending time being creative by yourself also feels lonely rather than productive.

Here are the 4 ways you can overcome loneliness:

1. Define it

The feeling of loneliness must be acknowledged before it can be overcome. Spending some quiet time and writing down your thoughts is a great way to understand what’s happening in your head. The reality is that what’s happening in your head, is what’s causing your loneliness.

Once you have written down all your thoughts, try and see which thought that you’ve written down makes you feel the most empty. It’s highly likely that it’s this thought that’s causing most of your suffering. Surprisingly, working out what’s making you lonely is not that tough; acknowledging it is where the power is.

2. Try “giving” as a quick-fix

The fastest way to forget about your loneliness, and bring yourself back to an empowering state, is to give your time or money to those who have nothing. By focusing on something other than yourself, you refill your emotional glass with positive thoughts.

Giving to other people feels good. Get around inspiring individuals and give your time. There’s no way you can stay lonely for long if you try this strategy.

3. Redefine your purpose

I remember reading a few years ago that according to life insurance statistics, when a man retires, the chance of him dying increases significantly. What causes this sudden onslaught of disease is a lack of purpose, and the negative feelings that come with not belonging to a higher vision.

At the core of loneliness is this empty disconnect that can be reinvigorated when you redefine what you were put on this planet to do. We’re all lonely at some point or another, but that’s no reason to go into a downward spiral, and deprive the world of your amazing beauty.

Think about what tasks make you happy and connected. If you don’t know, then go out into the world and try lots of things. Go kite surfing, climb a mountain, try public speaking, kiss a guy or girl off a dating app. The bottom line is this: get out of your head, and into action.

Take a journey in life that you’ve never tried. Instead of focusing on how lonely and disconnected you are, spend your time trying new tasks. Feeling like you’re hardly done by will not solve your problem. The cure for loneliness lies inside yourself, and only you can extract it.

“Like a beautifully brewed tea, extracting the flavor and bringing back happiness in your life takes time”

Have patience and believe that you will find a way to be connected once again. Make it your life mission to figure out how to become connected.

Our human brains are so very clever, and if you ask enough intelligent questions, eventually you’ll find what you’re looking for. The answer may be hidden in total darkness, but your brain has the power to shine a flashlight on the very object or event that can reshape your life, and make you live with passion once again.

4. Drop the pain blockers

To overcome loneliness, you have to stop blocking the pain with the following bad habits:

– Watching TV

– Always checking social media notifications

– Eating junk food

– Drinking alcohol

Being lonely is hard enough. The last thing you want to do is numb the suffering of loneliness with substances, and events that will make you feel even more disconnected. With every temporary upper, there is a guaranteed downer.

Despite what advertising tells us, we can’t distract ourselves from our problems forever or avoid them. Money will not make our problems or feelings of loneliness go away. What will make your loneliness vanish is reconnecting with yourself in the first instance, and then society in the second instance.

What can you do to help sufferers?

Without sounding all high and mighty, I’ve been lucky enough not to suffer from loneliness for the majority of my life. I’ve used the above strategies to get back on track when the inevitable loneliness and feelings of disconnect come knocking at the door of my mind.

Just because some of us may not be dealing with loneliness, doesn’t mean that this article is a waste of your time. If you’re not dealing with loneliness, then go out and help other people not suffer from this epidemic that is at the root of so many problems in our society.

Find someone who looks lonely, and offer them a friendly chat. Knock on the door of a neighbor that you never see leave their home, and sit down and talk to them. People over sixty suffer the most, and I’m sure you know plenty of people in that age bracket that you could have a conversation with.

A simple conversation may not sound like much, but that’s all it takes to brighten someone’s day. Overcoming pain and bringing back success is not difficult. The solutions to problems are always much less complicated than we believe.

No one deserves to be alone, considering how many billions of people there are on this planet. You may only be one human being out of so many, but that’s no excuse for a life that is not as fulfilled as it could be. Share your gift to bring light to those who have so much darkness.

Know that you may experience some of the same darkness in your life, and rely on the same gift to get you back on your feet again.

Loneliness is a killer. That doesn’t mean we can’t fight this sometimes-invisible war.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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