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3 Things Positive Thinking Does and Does Not Do For You

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Thinking positive

There’s been a lot of controversy around the idea of positive thinking. Some people think it’s the be-all and end-all of creating the life you want. Others say it’s a load of bull, and a recipe for allowing your worst-case scenario to sneak up on you while you’re busy staring at the roses.

The truth is, whether positive thinking works or not depends on how you use it, and what you use alongside it.

I’m going to give you three examples of what it WILL do for you, what it WON’T do, and how to use it in a way that gets results:

 

1. Helps prevent you from sabotaging your own success

Positive thinking helps to prevent you from sabotaging your own success.

You see, your subconscious has two tendencies that can get in your way:

  1. It gets attached to the status quo.
  2. It hates to make a liar out of you.

When you think of yourself as being poor, alone, or anything else that doesn’t fit with the life you want, your subconscious mind takes that as an order. As a result, you reflexively act in ways that fit the reality in your head.

Here’s an example. For a long time, I thought of myself as a person who wasn’t wanted unless I was needed. That was just the way it was, or so it seemed. I didn’t realize just how much that mindset was creating my reality until I stopped to really look at my circle of friends. Two of them were strong, independent people I didn’t see very often. The third was much more dependent on me. Guess which one I worked the hardest to make time for? That’s right – the one who “needed” me. Because that was the identity I’d created for myself.

When you think about yourself and your life in a negative light, you act in a way that fits that self-image without even realizing it. So it’s important to visualize your life the way you want it to be, not the way it is. Picture it, and try to feel the emotions you’d experience if that life was real, until it feels real.

I’m not saying you should ignore your current reality. But if you want that reality to change, you need to train your brain to accept the changes you desire. Over time, your subconscious will begin to get used to the idea of living the life you want, not the one you want to get away from, and you’ll reflexively start to act in ways that contribute to creating that life.

 

Think positive thoughts
 

What it will NOT do for you

Positive thinking will NOT create the life you want all by itself. You can’t just sit at home and think about your perfect career, perfect lifestyle, or perfect partner, and expect them to magically appear. You have to take action.

Apply for a job. Start a business. Get on a dating site. Get out of the house. Get help to deal with the baggage that fuels the negative thoughts in the first place. Whatever it is that you want to get, your first step is to get in action. Even if you don’t know all the steps you’ll need to take, take the ones you know about, and figure out the rest as you go.

 

2. Helps you see opportunities

It will help to make the positive outcomes you think about a self-fulfilling prophecy, by enabling you to see opportunities to make them happen. How? It’s like the Awareness Test on YouTube. In this test, there are two basketball teams, one dressed in white and one in black. You’re supposed to count how many passes the white team makes. BUT… did you see the moonwalking bear?

Chances are, the first time you watched the video, you were so busy watching the guys in white that you didn’t even notice the person in a bear costume dancing across the court. In the same way, when you’re looking for the positives and opportunities in a situation, that’s what you’ll see. You’ll still be aware of the obstacles, but they won’t seem insurmountable.

But if you’re constantly looking at the reasons why you can’t have what you want, the opportunities will pass right under your radar. And without them, your challenges will seem impossible to get past. So deal with problems as they arise, but put most of your focus on what you want, the reasons why it’s possible, and the actions you can take to make it happen.

 

What it will NOT do for you

Positive thinking does NOT prevent bad things from happening. Last I checked, natural disasters, drunk drivers and random accidents are still a thing, and nobody’s immune. Having said that, even in a bad situation, there’s always some good that can come from it – if that’s what you’re looking for and taking action for.

Some people are destroyed by loss, illness, career setbacks, and other such life crises. Others recover, and use the strength and knowledge they gained from the experience to improve their own lives and the lives of the people around them.

Which type you are isn’t luck of the draw. You get to choose, and it starts with your thoughts.

“Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something.” – Ralph Marston

3. Improves your physical and mental health

When used correctly, positive thinking improves your physical and mental health. Your emotions have a direct effect on your body and brain chemistry; if you don’t believe me, watch a scary movie and feel your heart pound. If you continuously dwell on the negative side of life, or stew over scenarios that upset you, you’re actually hurting yourself by causing your body to release chemicals that, if continuously released over a long period of time, will impair vital functions and make you sick.

You’re also keeping yourself in fight-or-flight mode, which inhibits digestion, increases blood pressure and blood sugar, and suppresses the immune system. So it’s important to avoid marinating your brain in the bad side of life, and give it something happy to work with as often as possible.

 

What it will NOT do for you

Positive thinking is NOT a “get out of dealing with bad stuff free” card. If something is legitimately upsetting you, ignoring it in the name of positive thinking won’t make the emotion go away. Instead, that feeling will continue to simmer in the background, either slowly eating away at you from just beneath the surface, or becoming undetectable for a while only to ambush you at a later date.

And if something illegitimately upsets you – for example, if your spouse makes a minor mistake and you get absolutely furious – that’s an even worse time to ignore the feeling. Disproportionate emotions are a sign that you’ve been hurt in the past, and that wound is coming to the surface to get your attention and be healed. Think of it as your soul filing a damage report.

At times like this, one thing you can do to balance positive thinking with a realistic response is to look at the good side of your pain. Instead of beating yourself up for your disproportionate reaction, or berating your partner for triggering it, you can say, “OK, it sucks that I’m getting this mad over something so small, but at least now I know that there’s a wound there and I have an opportunity to address it. And after I get this healed, I’ll be happier and more at peace.”

“You’re going to go through tough times – that’s life. But I say, ‘Nothing happens to you, it happens for you.’ See the positive in negative events.” – Joel Osteen

In summary

Positive thinking is a necessary tool for creating a great life. But, like all tools, it needs to be used at the right times, in the right ways, and for the right jobs. If you use a screwdriver the way you would use a stud finder, in order to do a chainsaw’s job, you can’t blame the screwdriver when it doesn’t work.

So make sure that you pair your positivity with action, don’t burden it with unrealistic expectations, and balance it with a willingness to address negative emotions and situations when they arise.

 

Do you have any tips to share about using positive thinking effectively? Any experiences where it hurt or helped you? I look forward to reading your comments.

Stephanie O’Brien is a copywriter and business coach. She specializes in helping coaches to create customized client attraction plans and put them into action, so they can help more people, make more money, and have more free time. To learn more about her, and to discover how to attract more clients and change more lives, visit www.coachclientconnection.com.

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Success Advice

Signs You’re Ready for a More Purposeful Career

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Doing well at something is not the same as wanting it. Plenty of people are steady at their jobs and still feel hollow at the end of the day. Nothing looks wrong from the outside. Colleagues respect you, the pay lands on time, and you handle whatever gets thrown your way. What builds underneath is harder to name.

A dullness sets in, or a restlessness, or the sense that you’re watching your own work from across the room. It doesn’t mean everything needs to be torn down. Often it just means you’ve stopped growing, and once that happens, what counts as worthwhile work quietly changes shape. 

When work shifts

There is usually no announcement. One day the tasks that once demanded your full attention take almost nothing out of you. Some people notice their focus sliding away from the work and toward the people around it. Wanting to mentor, listen, and help someone untangle a problem tells you something real about where your attention wants to go.

This lands hard in teaching. Class sizes and schedules leave little room for one student who needs an hour, and administrative work swallows the time you’d rather give them. Many educators respond by shifting from a teacher to a counselor, a role built around emotional and social support instead of lesson plans. The work runs deeper with each student and puts their wellbeing at the center of the day.

Changes like this rarely announce themselves loudly. They start as a small nudge you can brush off. Ignoring it gets harder as the months go by.

What purpose feels like

Most of the time it arrives quietly. A small exchange leaves you feeling like you were actually needed. You break down something complicated and watch it land. You steady someone who was spiraling. You point a person toward a way forward when they couldn’t see one. The tiredness afterward sits differently from the kind that flattens you.

Notice when you feel most switched on. Some people run best on targets, numbers, and systems that click into place. Others come alive guiding, backing someone up, keeping them going. Neither ranks above the other. They simply pull from different places.

Work that feels worthwhile usually reflects what you already care about. Value connection, trust, and steady growth, and a people-centered job will sit better than one measured purely in output. Perfection isn’t the goal. Honesty is.

Clues in your strengths

Patterns show up long before certainty does. Consider what people bring to you without being asked. Do friends start unloading before they’ve taken their coat off? Do colleagues mention how calmly you explain things? Are you the steady one while everyone else scatters like startled pigeons?

Pay attention to that. Support and guidance roles tend to grow out of qualities like these:

  • Patience when someone needs time
  • Empathy without absorbing everything
  • Clear communication
  • Real listening
  • Steadiness under pressure
  • Encouragement that doesn’t take over

Calling these soft undersells them. They carry weight because they help actual people get through difficult stretches. Technical knowledge can be added later. A steady, caring way with people is harder to teach, and having it already puts you closer to a new path than you might assume.

Why helping can grow

Roles built around helping tend to keep demanding more of you as a person. There’s no clocking in and ticking off a list. You get better at hearing what someone isn’t saying, at answering with more care, at reading people accurately. Growth like that outlasts any promotion.

Your motivation changes shape too. Pay and status stop being the whole scoreboard, and impact starts to matter. Did that person feel understood today? Did something hard get lighter because you were there? Questions like those keep the work from going flat.

None of which makes it effortless. The emotional load is real. Boundaries hold everything together, and so does proper rest. Choose a helping career with clear eyes, because meaning doesn’t cover lunch, sleep, or a life outside the job.

Testing the next step

Nothing has to be decided by next Tuesday. Small, low-stakes experiments beat dramatic leaps almost every time. Walk around in the shoes before entering the marathon.

Try a few of these:

  • Talk to someone doing the job now
  • Ask about ordinary days, not the highlights
  • Volunteer somewhere support is the point
  • Shadow a professional if you can arrange it
  • Sign up for one course
  • Note down what leaves you energized

Each one separates the imagined version from the real one. Occasionally a role loses its shine once you hear what the hours involve. Just as often, seeing it up close confirms what you suspected.

Stay curious rather than urgent. No contract is being signed. You’re collecting evidence, and evidence beats panic when a career decision is on the table.

Making change less scary

Fear arrives even when the change is a good one. Money, timing, family obligations, the thought of being a beginner again. None of that is irrational. Your brain is doing its job, protecting you, just with more theatrics than the situation calls for.

Size is usually the problem. “Should I change my whole life” is an unanswerable question, and holding it in your head produces nothing but dread. Narrow it until it becomes something you can act on this month. Build savings first. Find out what training actually requires. Set a six-month window and see what you learn inside it.

The fear rarely disappears entirely, and it doesn’t need to. It shrinks once the decision stops being one enormous leap and becomes a series of ordinary moves you can reverse if they don’t work.

Choosing a better fit

Borrowed definitions of success cause most of the trouble. Looking impressive while feeling depleted is a trade that stops paying off quickly. Your own version asks harder questions. Does this line up with what you care about? Does it draw on what you’re actually good at? Could you do it without performing a version of yourself all day?

Alignment matters more than ambition here. The goal is work that fits, that spends your energy well, that lets you be useful without straining for it.

That pull toward something more meaningful deserves attention rather than dismissal. Look into it. Give it time. The full map isn’t required. One honest step forward is usually enough to start.

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Success Advice

How to Prepare for a First Video Conversation Online

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

A first planned video conversation feels easier when the technical setup and basic expectations are handled in advance. A few practical checks reduce distractions and leave more attention for clear, respectful communication.

Prepare Before the Conversation

Before joining a scheduled conversation through a service such as Aveola, review the meeting details, your account profile, and the subjects you intend to discuss. Early preparation prevents last-minute searches for links, passwords, headphones, or background information.

Confirm the Time and Access

Check the date, time zone, expected duration, and correct access link. Add the appointment to a calendar with a reminder, then open the platform early enough to complete any sign-in or permission requests.

Confirm that your email address or phone number is verified when the service requires account verification. Use a unique password and activate two-factor authentication when that option is available.

Plan a Few Topics

Prepare two or three simple subjects that fit the reason for the conversation. For a professional call, these subjects might include responsibilities, project goals, or next steps. For a social discussion, hobbies, travel, books, music, or daily routines provide comfortable starting points. Avoid writing a full script. Short notes keep the exchange natural while giving you a reference if the discussion pauses.

Check Your Connection

A stable internet connection supports clearer sound and smoother video. Close large downloads, cloud backups, streaming services, and unused browser tabs before joining.

The table identifies common connection issues and practical responses:

Issue

Visible effect

Preparation step

Weak Wi-Fi signal

Frozen picture

Move closer to the router

Busy home network

Delayed sound

Pause other high-bandwidth activity

Outdated browser

Missing features

Install the current version

Low device power

Sudden disconnection

Charge the device beforehand

Set Up a Comfortable Space

The physical environment affects how clearly both people see and hear each other. Camera placement, light, sound, privacy controls, and personal limits deserve separate attention before the conversation begins.

Position the Camera

Place the camera close to eye level so your face remains centered without requiring you to look sharply upward or downward. A laptop stand, stable box, or adjustable monitor provides a better angle than holding a phone throughout the session.

Leave a small amount of space above your head and keep the lens clean. Look toward the camera while speaking, then return your attention to the screen while listening.

Improve the Lighting

Face a window or place a lamp in front of you, slightly above eye level. Strong light behind your chair creates a silhouette, while overhead lighting alone produces deep shadows around the eyes.

Review the preview screen before joining. Adjust the lamp, curtain, or seat position until facial details appear clear without excessive brightness.

Test the Sound

Use the platform preview or device settings to test the microphone and speakers. Speak at a normal volume and listen for echo, background noise, or distortion. Headphones reduce feedback when speakers sit close to the microphone. A quiet room with curtains, rugs, or soft furniture also limits reflected sound.

Protect Your Privacy

Review what the camera reveals before the conversation begins. Remove documents, photographs, screens, packages, or personal items that display sensitive information.

Five additional checks help protect your account and surroundings:

  • Disable location details that are unnecessary for the session.
  • Review camera and microphone permissions in the browser.
  • Use a background blur when the room contains private material.
  • Keep account recovery codes outside shared devices.
  • Sign out after using a borrowed computer or tablet.

Privacy settings also control profile visibility, notifications, and contact options. Read each setting carefully instead of relying on its default value.

Set Personal Boundaries

Decide in advance which subjects and personal details remain outside the discussion. A planned conversation does not require sharing an address, workplace schedule, financial information, private documents, or account credentials.

Set a clear time limit when your schedule requires one. A simple statement at the beginning, such as having 30 minutes available, gives both participants a shared expectation.

Keep the Conversation Comfortable

Preparation continues during the exchange through attentive communication and a calm response to technical interruptions. A small problem with sound or video does not need to disrupt the entire session.

Communicate Respectfully

Speak clearly, allow the other person to finish, and ask direct questions when something is unclear. Muting the microphone during unavoidable background noise keeps the conversation easier to follow. Consent remains relevant throughout live communication. Respect a request to change the topic, pause, disable a feature, or end the session.

Finish With Clear Next Steps

Before leaving, confirm any agreed action, future date, document, or contact method. This step prevents confusion after professional, educational, or project-related discussions.

End the session through the platform controls, close unnecessary tabs, and verify that the camera and microphone are no longer active. A brief review of what worked gives you a stronger routine for the next conversation.

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Success Advice

The Success Trap of Waiting Until Something Feels Wrong

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After enough years in medicine, you start to notice a pattern that has nothing to do with biology and everything to do with psychology. The most driven, capable people in the room are often the last ones to deal with a problem.

Not because they are careless. Usually it’s the opposite. They have built successful lives by pushing through discomfort, solving problems, and staying in motion when other people stop.

I still think about one patient from time to time, although the truth is I’ve seen versions of her story more times than I could count. She was building a company, or maybe it was her career, I don’t remember anymore, and she’d been ignoring a symptom for months. She knew it wasn’t normal. She’d caught it early, but there was always a reason to put it off. A launch, a deadline, an important meeting she couldn’t miss. In her mind, stopping even for a day felt like falling behind.

By the time she finally came in, the problem had grown into something much harder to treat than it needed to be. I never thought of her as careless, and I don’t think denial is the right word either. She was doing what had always worked for her: keep pushing, don’t get distracted by small problems, and deal with them later.

That habit that serves you so well at work doesn’t always serve you everywhere else. When it comes to your health, it can become part of the problem.

Why Ignoring Small Problems Feels Like Discipline

People who accomplish a lot usually learn early on that not every ache, inconvenience, or setback deserves their attention. If they stopped every time something felt a little off, they’d never get anything done. After a while, pushing through just becomes second nature, and that habit doesn’t stay at work. It follows them everywhere else.

The problem is that this instinct doesn’t know the difference between grit and denial. Grit is choosing to endure something hard that you understand and have decided is worth enduring. Denial is ignoring a signal you never actually evaluated. They can feel identical in the moment, which is exactly why so many capable people confuse them.

This happens constantly, and not just when it comes to personal health. A founder notices the same customer complaints showing up every month, but keeps writing them off because fixing them would mean admitting there’s a problem with the product. An executive is surviving on four hours of sleep because it’s “just a busy season,” even though that season has lasted the better part of a year. Someone else has been living with the same symptom for months because making an appointment feels like one more thing they don’t have time for.

None of them are being careless. They’re using the same mindset that helps them succeed at work in a situation where it just doesn’t fit.

The Hidden Cost of Living Reactively

The real cost of reactive living isn’t the eventual crisis. It’s everything that happens before the crisis, which is usually invisible even to the person paying for it.

Living reactively means a portion of your attention is always spent managing something you haven’t dealt with yet. That’s a tax you pay daily, in the form of decisions made from a place of low-grade dread instead of clarity, in the form of energy that should be going toward your best work instead going toward keeping a problem contained. You don’t usually notice this tax because it doesn’t announce itself. It just quietly reduces how much of you is available for the things that matter.

This pattern plays out with health the same way it does in business. Very few of the serious conditions I’ve treated appeared overnight. Most started small, were easy to dismiss, and stayed that way for longer than people expected. Your body usually gives you plenty of chances to notice something is wrong before it forces you to pay attention.

Prevention Is the Highest Leverage Work You’ll Ever Do

Meanwhile, we celebrate the comeback, the turnaround, the crisis survived. Nobody publishes a book about the disaster that never happened because someone handled it early.

But prevention is the harder, more advanced skill. Crisis response gets you sympathy and a story. Prevention requires you to act on something before it’s demanding your attention, with no audience and no applause, purely because you understand what will happen if you don’t. That takes a kind of self-management that most people never develop, because it isn’t rewarded the way heroics are.

The best leaders and founders don’t actually handle crises better than everyone else, they just have fewer of them because they treat maintenance as a strategy rather than as something to get to eventually. They ask what a version of themselves with more information would already know, and then they go find that information instead of waiting for it to force its way in.

What This Looks Like in Practice

If any of this sounds familiar, you don’t need to turn your life upside down. Start small. Every few months, take a little time to think about the things you’ve been putting up with instead of dealing with. It could be your health, something at work, your finances, or even a relationship that’s been quietly wearing you down.

The most useful question to ask yourself is a simple one: Am I choosing to put up with this, or am I just avoiding it? Those two things can feel surprisingly similar when you’re in the middle of them, but they aren’t the same. One is intentional. The other usually catches up with you sooner or later.

A Different Definition of Strength

We tend to define strength as the ability to endure. I’d argue the more useful definition is the ability to notice early and act before you have to endure anything at all.

The people I’ve seen build businesses, careers, and even healthy lives over the long term usually aren’t the ones who can take the biggest hit. More often than not, they’re the ones who dealt with small problems before those problems had a chance to grow. It isn’t the most exciting approach or the one that tells the grandest story, but it’s the reason they stay healthy and keep moving forward.

Next time you brush off a small warning sign, ask yourself why you’re ignoring your body’s signals. Most of the time, you’ll likely find that it has less to do with your schedule and more to do with clinging to the identity of being someone who never needs to slow down.

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Success Advice

How Teams Create Their Own Legacy Systems and How to Leave Them Behind

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Image Credit: Addicted2success

Legacy systems are not only old software left by someone else. Many teams create their own legacy after a fast launch. The product still works, but every change takes longer. People work hard, and delivery still slows down.This article explains how that happens, how to spot it, and how to plan a rewrite without stopping the business.

What a Legacy System Looks Like in Practice

A legacy system is software that costs more to change than it should. Age is not the main test. The real test is whether the team can still deliver at a normal pace.

Common signs are practical. The tech stack is hard for the current team to work with. Unused parts of the product stay in place because nobody is sure what will break. Tests exist, but they do not catch real problems. Only a few people understand how the system works. Small features take several sprints, and the team spends more time fighting the system than improving the product.

When effort goes up and output goes down, the system has become legacy for your team.

How a Fast Start Turns Into Legacy

Many teams do not inherit legacy. They create it while trying to move fast.

A common path looks like this. You need users quickly, so you build on an existing solution instead of starting from scratch. In the first months, that works. You ship. You get feedback. The decision looks smart.

Later, the same decision slows you down. The base system was not built for your roadmap, your team’s skills, or your quality needs. What helped you launch now blocks simple changes.Teams often stay with that base too long because the early result was real. Rewriting feels like throwing away progress. So they keep the old foundation even after it stops helping.

Why Teams Keep Patching

Most teams do not decide to live with legacy. They decide to make one more fix.

A patch looks cheaper and safer than a rewrite. It also avoids a hard discussion about stopping work on the current system. For a while, that can be the right call.

After a point, patches add more complexity than they remove. Each fix creates new constraints. The team spends its best time keeping the old system stable instead of building useful product work.

One clear signal is when a basic feature can no longer reach production in a normal cycle. There may be no major outage. There is just steady delay. At that point, the choice is usually simple: keep paying the cost of the current system, or test a rewrite under clear rules. If delivery has already stalled, some teams also need help to stabilize a software project before the next big decision.

Treat a Rewrite as an Experiment

A full rewrite can fail if it has no limits. Some rewrites never reach users and waste months. That risk is real. Staying in legacy forever has a cost too.

A better approach is to treat the rewrite as an experiment. Set a clear scope for the first version. Review progress every week with demos people can see. Track how much work actually gets finished, not only how busy the team looks. Keep the old system running until the new one is ready. Do not freeze the business while the team rebuilds in private.

This makes the decision easier to manage. Stakeholders can judge real progress. If pace and quality improve, continue. If not, stop before the rewrite becomes its own long project with no end date.

Describe the Product You Want Before You Rebuild

Many rewrite projects fail because the team copies the old system as it is.

Legacy code shows how the product works today. It does not always show why a feature exists, or which parts are leftovers from old decisions. If you rebuild only from the old code, you may also rebuild old bugs and unused paths.

A clearer method is to describe the product you want first. Who uses it. What should happen. What you will leave out. Write that down so business and engineering share the same scope. Then decide how to build it.

This matters even more when teams can generate code quickly. Fast output without a clear product description can create a new legacy system sooner. Speed helps only when the goal is clear and shared.

Keep the Old System Running Until the New One Is Ready

Leaving a legacy system does not mean turning it off on day one. Customers still need a working product.Keep the old system live while the new one is built and checked. Release small pieces that prove the new system works. Review quality and pace often. Switch when the new product can support real use, not when the plan looks good on paper.

The goal is a clean handoff, not a dramatic shutdown.

Conclusion

Legacy is not only software you inherit. It is often software your own fast start created.If the team is busy and delivery keeps slowing down, do not assume another patch will solve it. Look at the cost of staying. If a rewrite makes sense, run it as a short, visible experiment. Describe the product you want. Keep the old system online until the new one can take over.

The useful skill is noticing when the system that once helped you launch now blocks progress, and changing course before that cost gets worse.

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