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5 Simple Ways Anyone Can Hack Resilience

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resilience

Anytime we suffer a gut punch, it’s easy to lose track of the goal and zero in on what went wrong, “why me” thinking, and everything we’ve lost along the way. To bounce back, we have to change our mindset from “shoulda, coulda, woulda” to one that is forward-focused.

These five hacks below can help you achieve that elusive quality called resilience:

1. Be grateful

When you shift your perspective, you completely change your experience of the world around you. No matter what your situation, your mindset will always shape your reality. We all have challenges but if you look around, you can usually find someone who is dealing with challenges worse than your own. So to begin, we can be grateful for our challenges – they are teaching us how to deal with adversity, they are making us stronger, and in most cases they could be worse than they are.

Start by asking yourself, “In this moment, what am I grateful for?” Depending on your circumstances, your first response might be, “nothing.” If that’s the case, start with the smallest most basic thing you can think of and go from there. Recognizing your circumstances are fluid and identifying what you already appreciate creates a mindset for abundance. Being grateful for what you already have is the first step to hacking resilience because it allows you to open yourself up to receive even more.

2. Head butt adversity

Resilience isn’t just our capacity to stand there and take the slings and arrows of life, it’s the power and agility in which we respond. It turns out, we don’t have a limited amount of resilience and that’s good news because when bad things happen, over and over, layered on top of each other, our resilience doesn’t have to tap out.

We can build unlimited strength, agility, and speed in our response by learning to effectively “bounce,” and we can do that even before adversity hits. A situation only has the meaning you give it. You get to decide if it is something that will stop you in your tracks or if you will frame it as a challenge that offers a opportunity to learn and grow.

For every negative or difficult event that happens to you today, reframe the meaning you give it in your life. The circumstance itself has no power over you, but your response to it does. When a difficult situation arises, ask yourself these two questions: How could this be an opportunity in disguise and what does this make possible?

See yourself as the one in charge of your own fate, and seize that opportunity. Even in the difficult moments, by deliberately choosing the meaning you give to those moments and the power they have over you, you can build resilience and thrive.

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Ernest Hemingway

3. Cut yourself some slack

We get discouraged about our life when we compare it to others, something that has become especially toxic in the age of social media. What people post on Facebook is their “highlight reel.” The rest of their life is pretty ordinary so if you’re comparing the totality of your life with the highlight reel of others, you’re bound to feel a little alone and discouraged when bad things happen.

The truth is, we all have setbacks. Every single one of us with no exception. Allow yourself a little breathing room when adversity hits. Breathe deeply as often as possible, and give yourself a little time to catch your breath, lick your wounds, and come back swinging.

4. Discover the lesson

Everything that happens in our life is an opportunity for growth. If we allow every life event to shape us in a positive way, we will gain something, even from circumstances that seem to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Viktor Frankl was a Swiss psychiatrist who watched many of his fellow prisoners in Auschwitz commit suicide after losing their entire families to genocide. He too had lost his family and even contemplated suicide until one day he had a vision of himself on stage, speaking about how he survived, and he knew he still had something left to do. It gave him hope and the will to live, to survive and thrive, and discover meaning in the moment.

When we frame adversity as an opportunity to learn something about ourselves, it gives meaning to the suffering. This allows us to see put the suffering in context and no longer feel that our challenges are pointless.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.” – Viktor E. Frankl

5. See the opportunities

A family member’s protracted illness may bring other family members closer as they team up to take care of their loved ones. Being let go from a mediocre job may lead to an opportunity you never would have seen if you were still working.

When bad things happen, we tend to assume that everything about the circumstance is negative. But this isn’t really true. No matter how terrible things have become, there is always something good that will come out of something bad. Always. The problem is we don’t usually see it in the moment, because we’re just not looking for it.

For every negative event you experience, the sooner you choose to seek and embrace the good that could come out of it, the quicker you will move forward and experience the resilience you never thought possible.

What do you do in order to overcome the struggles in your life? Let us know in the comments below!

Dr. Ann Vertel is a Business and Success Psychologist, keynote speaker, corporate trainer, and 20-year Naval Officer. She’s worked with thousands of high-performers including Doctors, Lawyers, Entrepreneurs, C-Suite Executives, and U.S. Navy SEALS, helping them achieve their highest potential. She also consults with corporations on leadership and personal development, helping them grow leaders who think bigger, act bolder, and take charge of their success. Learn more at AnnVertel.com.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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