Success Advice
Why Throwing Up Verbal Diarrhoea On People Will Never Work
I have a question; can I throw up all over you? Your answer, “no way Tim go away!” Well, every time someone tries to metaphorically throw up on you with their verbal diarrhoea by forcing you to listen to their point of view, shouting at you, and talking about something that doesn’t support the greater good or selfishly only helps them, this is what they’re doing.
Someone metaphorically threw up on me the other day with their verbal diarrhoea. The feeling was worse than actually having a severe case of diarrhoea. This person was trying to get me to reconnect with someone who I used to know so that it could make them feel better.
They tried to force their own guilt on me for a situation that they caused and then accuse me of having anger. The truth is that nowadays I just use one simple Tony Robbins concept that I use most of the time; moving away from or towards things that support my beliefs and vision.
It’s not that I have anger towards the other person that I am being encouraged to reconnect with, it’s just that their version of the world is the opposite of mine and doesn’t support where I am at. It’s for this reason that I have decided to leave some people behind, and let them go on alone with the hope that they may change in the future.
Now, when someone throws up their verbal diarrhoea on you and forces you to see their point of view, what they don’t realise is that they will never cause a change in you or anyone else with this approach.
There are two lessons I want you to get from this article; one, don’t let people throw up on you, and two, don’t throw up on other people yourself.
Below, I am going to teach you how to spot verbal diarrhoea and the seven characteristics of communication you must understand:
1. Talking down to people is a loser’s strategy
You can tell if someone is throwing up on you in the way they communicate. If someone talks down to you and think’s that you are a lesser person than them, then they are committing this horrible act. To avoid doing this, it’s always good to communicate with people as if they are on the same level as you.
Smart celebrities do this when they talk to a member of the public who doesn’t have the same influence as them, and they treat them as if they are on the same level. World leaders like Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela have also followed this same strategy.
The loser’s strategy is to talk to someone as if you are better than they are and then attempt to force your views on them. What’s funny is that when this happens, the person using the loser strategy wonders why the other person won’t listen to their point of view.
“Treat people with a level of respect and talk to them on the same level, otherwise you will risk becoming a deadbeat loser for the rest of your life”
2. Yelling with anger shows you are not in control
When someone yells at you or you, witness someone yelling, and the person is trying to get their point of view across, all they are demonstrating is that they are not in control. To get your point of view heard you must come across as in control; otherwise, no rational person will agree with you.
Yelling for the sake of yelling never achieves anything and usually the person yelling just ends up even more frustrated. Stay away from this loser strategy and talk to people in a calm manner and show your passion for what you do. Show them you are respectful of them and that you truly care about them.
3. Your point of you has to link to their beliefs
You can always spot verbal diarrhoea when someone is forcing a point that they know is out of alignment with another person’s beliefs. The way to stop throwing up on people with your words is to ensure that what you’re saying and your point of view aligns in some way to the persons beliefs.
If someone is religious and you keep communicating a point of view that suggests that religion is a myth and doesn’t exist, you’re not going to get your point across. The more you can understand diversity and the more you can get that not all people believe in the same things, the better you will become at communicating and avoiding verbal diarrhoea.
In the situation I encountered the other day, I was being forced to spend time with someone that had very radical beliefs and to adopt their view of politics. Those that know me know that I don’t consume traditional media or follow politics. I respect both of these art forms but I choose to focus my time in other areas.
Trying to argue a point with me based on politics and traditional media is a loser’s strategy and hence the reason I am writing this article so you don’t make the same mistake. By changing traditional media to social media, and the word politics to “changing the world,” the person could have easily got my attention and got their point across.
See, sometimes it’s just a subtle change in the way you match your point to the person’s beliefs. Using language can be an excellent way to achieve this subtle change and it will make you a much better closer in the sales aspect of life – every part of success in life involves some form of selling.
4. There needs to be some common ground
You can spot a serial, verbal, vomiter when they attempt to communicate with you and have no form of common ground. For a debate on a topic or an idea to be successful, there needs to be some kind of commonality with the other person.
This means you need to know a few simple things about them and try to attach your point to something that will create a common ground. Sometimes finding that common ground involves you not having to be right with everything that you say.
Be prepared to be wrong or to accept a view that may be a little different from your own. People who are hell bent on always being right are most likely to verbally vomit on people regularly.
5. Insults will have a negative effect
If there is one thing that brings out the smell of verbal diarrhoea more than anything, it’s when someone uses insults to get their point across. Insulting someone is the dumbest, most hilarious, and absolutely stupendous way to fail in a debate or at life.
People that choose (that’s right everything you do is a choice) to go to the lowest level and insult someone, will force their point of view to be ignored. The reason is straightforward; no one likes to be put down or made to feel bad.
If you insist on making others feel bad for a living, then you will live a tragic life and be miserable.
6. A forced view is not convincing
Trying to jam a view down someone’s throat is a great way to have people ignore you all together. You need to convince people that they came to the view you are trying to express and not that they had to agree with your view.
With what I witnessed recently, the person tried to force and threaten me to agree with their point of view. My natural reaction was to ignore every word they said. They could have been saying they would give me a million dollars for free and I still wouldn’t have heard them.
The key is to understand that if you are trying to convince someone of your viewpoint, it means that they don’t already think about the subject you are discussing in the same way as you. The only way to get them thinking about the subject the way you do is to do the opposite of forcing them and allow them to have a choice.
You need to be cool if they don’t agree with your viewpoint. Getting mad at someone because they don’t agree with you is a ridiculous way to act and it’s what failures do. Act differently, be understanding, and don’t force what can be perceived as verbal diarrhoea on someone because you’re not a fool!
7. Involving untrusted people is disastrous
The final point is the one to avoid at all costs. If you are trying to get your point across and avoid throwing up on people with your words, then don’t introduce people to the conversation that are known liars, have no integrity with the person you’re trying to convince, and can be viewed as someone that could harm their reputation.
Also, don’t use the line “they’re a changed person,” if you know that the person you are trying to convince believes the opposite to be true. For someone to change and not be a liar anymore is quite a rare occurrence. I’m not saying it’s impossible but it generally doesn’t happen often.
Liars can quickly affect your reputation and so you can never win a debate or point of view by introducing them into the conversation. Conversely, people are obsessed with their reputation so if for one second someone feels like that could be at stake, they will avoid you like a deadly virus.
In the scenario that happened to me, the person tried to introduce known liars to back them up and I exited the conversation instantly. The other person then began to feel frustrated because everything they said had no effect on me.
***Final Thought***
My years of personal development have made me somewhat bulletproof (although not all the time) to verbal diarrhoea like what I witnessed recently. The other person got frustrated because their approach was all wrong and they refused to change it.
By consistently changing your approach using some of the ideas in this article it’s possible to avoid verbal diarrhoea. If you do the same thing over and over and become frustrated because you’re not getting the result, then this falls into the insanity category that Einstein made so famous with his quote.
How do you deal with people throwing up on you with their words? Let me know in the comments section below or on my Facebook and Twitter Pages.
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Personal Development
These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident
Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.
Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.
But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.
Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.
1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task
Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.
After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.
Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.
But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.
2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First
Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.
Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”
For example, if you’re a writer:
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Research your topic at night.
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Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).
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Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.
You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.
3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace
Focus is the foundation of success.
According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.
Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.
Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life
Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”
This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.
If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.
5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills
Knowledge compounds over time.
Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.
I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.
Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.
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A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.
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A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.
Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.
7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You
I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.
If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.
Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.
Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.
8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions
Good mentors can fast-track your growth.
While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.
If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.
9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations
Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”
Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.
When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.
10. Focus on Your Strengths
Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.
If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.
A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.
Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.
11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Your beliefs shape your reality.
For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.
Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.
Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.
Final Thoughts
Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.
Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.
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