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Success Advice

How to Gaslight Yourself Effectively for Success

When you start putting limitations on what’s possible for you based on effort, you create blocks

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Image Credit: Midjourney

How many times have you set a goal that required a quantum leap or felt like a stretch, and then you missed it? You’re not alone. No business owner crushes every goal, 100% of the time. Yet for some reason, business owners will get down on themselves in some pretty destructive ways that only keep them from attaining their goals longer. 

Success is about more than productivity and ambitious goals. It requires rest, celebration, and compassion for yourself. Here’s how you can be more gentle with yourself while increasing your success.

The gaslighting infiltration

How do business owners gaslight themselves when they don’t hit the goal? It might look like statements like: 

  • If I would’ve worked harder, I would’ve hit the goal (while working at capacity)
  • Quantum leaps happen for everyone else. Something must be wrong with me since I can’t get them to work for me.
  • If I just…(pretty much anything that comes after that phrase is a gaslighting-type statement)
  • I guess I’m not meant to go as far as other people
  • The market can’t bear it
  • Everyone is down right now

And the list goes on. 

The problem is these statements take away your power to create change. When you tell yourself that you don’t work hard enough, you’re setting yourself up for burnout. You don’t want to become an entrepreneur or coach who works 100 or more hours a week and loses touch with every other part of their life. That’s not a sustainable business model. So working harder consistently as a way to reach your goals is not a method that will work long term. 

Likewise, when you make statements justifying why reaching your goal couldn’t have happened, you’re teaching your subconscious that reaching this goal is either impossible or highly unlikely. Therefore, your brain starts to believe that this particular goal cannot happen or cannot happen without strenuous effort (beyond your capabilities). 

When you start putting limitations on what’s possible for you based on effort, you create blocks to efficiency, organization, rest, and rejuvenation — all of which play a vital role in scaling. A well-rested brain is one that’s creative, efficient, and productive. When you exhaust yourself, you’re running on two cylinders instead of four, making reaching your goals way harder than it has to be.

The difference between reflecting and judging

When you don’t hit a goal, is it important to be self-reflective? Yes. Is it helpful to judge yourself? Not at all. It’s one thing to look at your actions and decide what could’ve been done to support your goals. For example, if you were trying to reach $50,000 in revenue this month, but you weren’t working with a system, then you can confidently say that designing a system would likely have supported you in reaching your goals. That realization and reflection then gives you action steps to take immediately that can help you get better results next time. However, judging sets you up for failure. 

When you judge yourself for not reaching a goal, you make some part of yourself, your actions, or your effort wrong. That adds shame to the mix, and shame is the toxic sludge of goal attainment. If you’re experiencing shame while going after your goals, you’re setting yourself up to fail. 

Shame compromises your ability to make the strongest decisions possible. Not to mention, shame is a labor-intensive emotion. Similar to having too many tabs open on your computer running in the background and draining your battery, this happens with heavy emotions in our bodies.
So how do you tell the difference between reflecting and judging? There are a few tricks. Reflecting will focus on actions, outcomes, and circumstances. It takes you as a human (and your worth) out of the equation. Judging, however, attacks you personally and tells you how YOU were wrong in the situation or how you weren’t worthy of the outcome you desired. 

Another quick check is in your body. Reflection feels lighter than judging. Judging has a heaviness to it that settles in and doesn’t feel good. Reflecting, however, feels lighter and washes over (not through) you. 

Protecting yourself from the judgment beast

Keeping yourself out of judgment is a mental and emotional discipline that may take some time, but once you’ve got it in your body and brain, it will run on autopilot. This means setting up a two-part system: an accelerator and a filter. 

Your accelerator consists of the practices you engage in to build yourself up, own your worth, and feel empowered. The filter is the process you use to catch thoughts that are running off the rails, such as: 

  • Life doesn’t work for me
  • I never hit my goals
  • Business is just harder for me than it is for other people

When you have a practice in place to catch those thoughts, stop, and rewrite them, then you can create a mindset that supports your goals. For example, if you notice the thought, “I should’ve worked harder and maybe then I would’ve reached my goal,” maybe that needs to be examined and rewritten as, “I worked hard, but perhaps I could have been more efficient. Maybe I need a system to support my effort.” 

The truth is, the more you create supportive thought processes, the easier it will be to reach your goals. When you stop gaslighting yourself and let go of the judgment, it’s easier for your body to use your energy more efficiently to reach your goals. When you have less resistance in your body from heavier emotional labor, your efficiency will go through the roof, and you will hit your goals more often.

Juliana Garcia is a Latina online entrepreneur who has created a $2.5 million dollar business helping skilled coaches clarify their marketing message to attract premium clients. She has pioneered a cutting-edge, client-centric approach that breaks the old-school marketing rules and focuses on selling through intimacy, integrity, strong mindset tools, and zero BS. Juliana’s early marketing career involved working on the launch of the movie Think & Grow Rich: The Legacy, and Napoleon Hill’s work has had a strong influence on her approach. Juliana’s company is focused on helping coaches set new standards for what’s possible in the coaching industry so they can create a rich, fulfilling, and sustainable business without the burnout. Juliana’s insights have been featured in Forbes and more.

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Did You Know

How to Turn a Simple Link-in-Bio Into a Powerful Brand Hub

Transform your forgotten bio link into a high-impact gateway that fuels engagement, clicks, and conversions across every social platform.

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Social media is one of the greatest marketing tools in 2025. According to a recent study, some 86% of marketers globally use platforms like Facebook and Instagram for advertisements, while 94% use it for content distribution.  (more…)

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Personal Development

These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident

Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

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Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.

But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.

Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.

1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task

Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.

After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.

Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.

But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.

2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First

Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.

Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”

For example, if you’re a writer:

  • Research your topic at night.

  • Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).

  • Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.

You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.

3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace

Focus is the foundation of success.

According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.

Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.

Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.

4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life

Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”

This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.

If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.

5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills

Knowledge compounds over time.

Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.

I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.

Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset

Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.

  • A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.

  • A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.

Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.

7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You

I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.

If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.

Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.

Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.

8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions

Good mentors can fast-track your growth.

While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.

If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.

9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations

Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”

Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.

When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.

10. Focus on Your Strengths

Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.

If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.

A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.

Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.

11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs

Your beliefs shape your reality.

For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.

Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.

Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.

Final Thoughts

Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.

Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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