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How Your Psychological Blind Spots Keep You Stuck in Life

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Sometimes, life doesn’t seem to make any sense. Albert Einstein once said “insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Here’s the funny thing. We will say that line about someone else, have a good chuckle, and then DO THE SAME THING OURSELVES! This time, it’s not that funny, is it? I know. I’ve done it myself.

I will be sharing 3 examples of seemingly paradoxical behaviour from people who have been in my private practice. (Of course, I have changed the names and some of the demographics to respect their confidentiality).  

  • Tom complains about how he has never had any money and then proceeds to order in for the 4th time that week.
  • Bev tells me how there are no more good men out there in the world. However, weeks later, she tells me about laughing flirtatiously when a guy was mocking other people at the party, and who is now mocking her laugh and some of her physical features.    
  • Alexa, a business owner, spends $3000 on a marketing course but then continues to spend too much time and charge too little for her services and never gets to the new clients she attracted with the marketing methods she learned with the course.

On the surface it would seem like these people are “insane” according to Einstein’s definition. But as I have seen in my psychotherapy practice for the last 12 years, these are not atypical stories. In fact, I have seen this seemingly contradictory behaviour in friends, family, colleagues and so many others that it cannot be insanity. It is indeed a human condition.     

So, what the heck is going on here?

Well, things become a little clearer when you look below the surface. There are actually two different behaviours at work here. One, the subconscious, is acting on fears experienced years before, often in childhood. These subconscious behaviours and underlying fears are often maintained through life unless they are dealt with in adulthood. I call these patterns people’s psychological blind spots.  

The other behaviour is based on what our rational conscious brain sees. It interprets what it sees or doesn’t see in the present moment and comes to a conclusion based on reason.  

Now, let’s go back and review the 3 cases with these two different perspectives:

  • Tom grew up seeing his parents constantly living on credit card debt for years and just complaining about it daily. He told me he was seriously afraid of ending up on the streets. As a child, buying something would temporarily distract him from his biggest fear. Tom’s conscious brain doesn’t see what the subconscious brain sees and rationalizes his overspending by saying, “Why shouldn’t I enjoy my life too?”
  • Bev was often not even “seen” in her family of six siblings and she grew up believing that she was unlovable. She noticed that when she was dating someone, that fear was briefly abated. So, she subconsciously lowered her standards for the men she sought because any relationship was better than being alone, or so she thought. Bev’s conscious logical brain continues to rationalize or explain away “bad behaviour” early in her relationships. It says things like, he was short with me because he is under a lot of pressure at work.   
  • Alexa was deeply affected by her parents’ constant arguments and eventual divorce when she was seven years old. She felt responsible for their divorce and believed she just wasn’t good enough as she was. She noticed that when she did things for her father, he would briefly pay attention to her. So, she became the ‘Pleaser’ in the family. She grew up subconsciously feeling that she was unworthy when she wasn’t making someone else happy. This has carried over into her business relationships as she overextends herself and thereby, devalues herself with clients. On the other hand, her conscious brain tells her that she has to treat her clients well or they will tell others about her poor service. 

So, now that you understand how to explain the seemingly contradictory behaviour, how do you reconcile these two radically different perspectives? What can you do about it when you get stuck and come up against a pattern you can’t seem to shake?

There is a new way to approach these challenges in life. I call it your True Self way. I define your True Self as the one you are in when you feel inner peace or fully engaged or in the flow. Your True Self sees its own strengths and weaknesses and accepts and loves all of itself. And it is able to be open and vulnerable enough to admit them. It is curious and connects well with others. It is your most balanced self. Everyone has moments when they are in their True Self. It does take practice to learn how to get into this state at will.

“Everything can be taken from a man, but the last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitudes in any given set of circumstances.” –Viktor Frankl

Let’s look at how your True Self would approach each of the situations above:

  • Tom’s True Self understands his subconscious fears and takes responsible action. For enjoyment, he goes bike riding but also gets on a schedule to start paying down his debt. 
  • Bev’s True Self appreciates her subconscious fears and begins to love her inner wounded child who feels unlovable. In addition, she starts to watch the actions men take early on in the relationship and assume those actions represent who he really is.
  • Alexa’s True Self understands the Pleaser part and aligns with it by beginning to please herself first, and others second. Now, she is not only satisfying her clients in a fair way, she is also satisfying herself and growing her company.

For many people, it can come as a revelation to finally understand why you keep making the same mistake over and over again or keep coming up against a brick wall and can’t seem to take your business to the next level. No, you are not insane. And no, you are not alone. Most people run some sort of “self-sabotaging’ pattern in their life and most of those people can’t see it. It’s often difficult to see your own subconscious patterns. It’s like trying to see your own back.

When you begin to align your conscious and subconscious beliefs and behaviours, your life and business begin to make sense. You will feel like you are waking up from a semi-comatose state. You will feel more energized and connected to others. You will also make decisions quicker because you are more focused and clearer about what you really want. You will get unstuck and begin making real progress, maybe for the first time in your life. And that will probably be the sanest thing you can do.  

As former Chief of the Emergency Department, Dr. Sam Gerstein saw the toll work stress takes on people’s health. After over 20 years in the ER, he pivoted his practice to psychotherapy to focus on the total Mind-Body. In the last 12 years he has helped entrepreneurs-at-heart to first manage their work stress and burnout, and then guided them to move out of dissatisfying jobs and discover and start their own custom-fit businesses.In his highly acclaimed book, Live Your Dreams: Doctor's Orders, (with foreword by Jack Canfield), Dr. Sam highlights 40 stories of people who overcame their fears to start their own businesses. As a Business Strategy Coach, he has now created online programs to help even more entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs-at-heart overcome their psychological blocks that have been preventing them from successfully pursuing their own side hustles and businesses.

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Entrepreneurs

The Brutal Truth About Entrepreneurship with ADHD (And Why Most Advice Is Making It Worse)

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

You’re not lazy. You’re not undisciplined… and you’re definitely not broken.

You’re an entrepreneur with ADHD, and right now you’re probably sitting on 19 unfinished projects, 47 open tabs, and a brain that feels like it’s running on 12 different radio stations at once.

You’ve read the books. You’ve tried the planners, the Pomodoro timers, the accountability groups. You’ve even hired coaches who promised to “fix” your focus. Yet here you are — brilliant ideas, massive potential, and a business that still feels like it’s one step away from collapsing under the weight of your own mind.

Here’s what almost nobody in the entrepreneurial space will admit:

The real struggle isn’t your ADHD. It’s that you’ve been trying to run a neurodivergent brain inside a neurotypical business model — and then beating yourself up when it doesn’t work.

Most advice for entrepreneurs was written by people whose brains work differently. They preach consistency, routines, long-term planning, and steady execution like those things are universal truths. For the ADHD entrepreneur, those “truths” feel like trying to swim upstream in cement. You can force it for a while (and you have), but eventually your brain rebels, the burnout hits, and you’re left feeling like a failure who just needs to “try harder.”

That cycle is quietly destroying more talented founders than cash flow problems or bad hires ever could.

The deeper layer most people never reach is this: your ADHD isn’t a bug in the system. It’s a different operating system entirely. And when you stop trying to install Windows on a Mac and start building everything around macOS, the game changes completely.

The Hidden Addiction That Keeps ADHD Entrepreneurs Stuck

You already know the surface symptoms — time blindness, rejection sensitivity, starting strong and fading fast, shiny object syndrome.

But the real trap is more insidious.

It’s the addiction to chaos and novelty.

Your brain is wired for dopamine. New ideas, big visions, last-minute sprints, high-stakes pressure — these things light you up like nothing else. The boring, repetitive, systems-building work that actually scales a business? It feels like torture.

So unconsciously, you keep your business in a state of controlled chaos. You say yes to too many things. You chase the next exciting opportunity. You avoid building the boring infrastructure because “I work better under pressure anyway.”

And every time the pressure gets too high, you crash, swear you’ll get organized next quarter, and repeat the cycle.

Meanwhile, the neurotypical advice keeps telling you to “just build better habits.” As if your brain is a poorly trained dog that needs more discipline instead of a high-performance race car that needs the right fuel and track.

This isn’t a character flaw. It’s neurology.

And until you stop treating your wiring as something to overcome and start treating it as your greatest strategic advantage, you’ll stay stuck in the same exhausting loop.

The Identity Shift That Changes Everything

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who finally break through don’t “fix” their brains.

They redesign their entire business to work with their brains.

They stop trying to become the consistent, routine-loving founder the gurus talk about. Instead, they become the architect of a system that leverages their natural strengths — hyperfocus, pattern recognition, creative problem-solving, relentless drive under pressure — while outsourcing or automating everything that drains them.

This is the layer most ADHD entrepreneurs never reach because it requires something terrifying: accepting that you are never going to be “normal” at entrepreneurship… and that’s exactly why you can win bigger than most.

Your ability to see connections others miss. Your tolerance for uncertainty. Your capacity to go all-in when something lights you up. These aren’t liabilities. They’re unfair advantages in a world that rewards speed, creativity, and bold moves.

The shift is simple but brutal:

Stop trying to manage your ADHD. Start designing your business around it.

How to Actually Build a Business That Works With Your Brain

  1. Stop fighting your energy cycles — weaponize them. Most ADHD entrepreneurs try to force 8-hour focused days. That’s insane. Instead, track when your brain actually works best (for many it’s 10pm-2am or random 4-hour hyperfocus bursts). Build your schedule around those windows. Protect them like gold. Do the deep, high-leverage work then. Use the low-energy periods for admin, calls, or recovery.
  2. Build “chaos containers,” not rigid systems. Traditional project management tools feel like cages. Create loose but effective structures that give your brain freedom. Use tools like Notion with massive flexibility, or body-doubling (working alongside someone virtually), or even hiring a “chaos wrangler” — an assistant who thrives on turning your scattered ideas into executable plans.
  3. Turn your rejection sensitivity into rocket fuel. That intense fear of letting people down or looking stupid? Channel it into creating ridiculously high standards for your customer experience or product quality. Use it as fuel instead of letting it paralyze you.
  4. Outsource the parts that make you want to die. The execution, follow-through, and maintenance phases are where most ADHD entrepreneurs lose. Hire or partner with people who love the details. Your job is vision, strategy, and big swings. Let someone else own the spreadsheets.
  5. Create external pressure on your own terms. Deadlines and public commitments work wonders for the ADHD brain. Use them strategically — announce launches, create beta groups, or work with coaches who understand neurodivergence instead of fighting it.

The entrepreneurs with ADHD who are quietly crushing it right now aren’t the ones who finally became “disciplined.” They’re the ones who stopped apologizing for how their brain works and started building empires that are specifically engineered for it.

They have teams that handle the boring stuff. They have systems that flex with their energy instead of fighting it. They’ve turned their “flaws” into the exact reasons their businesses stand out.

Your ADHD brain is not the enemy. The enemy was trying to play the game by rules that were never designed for you.

The moment you accept that and start designing everything… your calendar, your team, your offers, your processes — around how you actually operate, the struggle doesn’t disappear… but it becomes manageable, even exhilarating.

You were never meant to fit the mold. You were meant to break it and build something better.

The world doesn’t need another cookie-cutter entrepreneur. It needs the chaotic, brilliant, all-in, slightly unhinged visionaries who can only operate at full power when the game is built for them.

That’s you.

Stop trying to fix yourself. Start building the business that was always meant to be run by a mind like yours.

Your next breakthrough isn’t going to come from working harder or being more consistent. It’s going to come from finally giving yourself permission to work differently.

And when you do that? Watch what happens.

The same brain that once felt like a curse becomes the exact reason your business becomes unstoppable.

You’ve got this. Not despite the ADHD. Because of it.

If you want to learn more from me or send me a personal message I’ll respond to you on Instagram at https://instagram.com/iamjoelbrown speak soon!

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Health & Fitness

The Health Planning Habits That Support Long-Term Success

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Image Credit: Joel Brown - Addicted2success

Most people think about health planning only when something forces them to.

A medical bill arrives unexpectedly. An insurance issue appears during treatment. A diagnosis changes how future care needs are viewed. Suddenly health planning becomes urgent instead of preventative.

The problem is that long-term health stability is usually shaped by smaller habits built quietly over time, not just by major decisions during emergencies.

That includes physical health habits, of course, but it also includes how people approach insurance coverage, preventative care, financial preparation, and long-term healthcare planning before problems become immediate.

The families who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often not the ones avoiding every issue entirely. More often, they’re the ones who built systems early enough to make difficult situations feel more manageable later.

Consistency Matters More Than Perfection

A lot of health advice still revolves around extreme change.

Perfect diets. Aggressive routines. Complete lifestyle overhauls.

In reality, most long-term health success comes from consistency people can realistically maintain for years instead of months. Small preventative habits tend to matter more than dramatic short-term efforts that collapse under pressure.

That principle applies financially too.

People often spend more time researching investment strategies than understanding their healthcare coverage or preparing for future medical costs. But healthcare instability can disrupt long-term financial plans surprisingly quickly when households are unprepared for how expensive even routine care can become over time.

The practical side of health planning is becoming harder to separate from overall financial planning now than it used to be.

Preventative Planning Reduces More Stress Than People Realize

One overlooked benefit of health planning is emotional stability.

People who understand their coverage, maintain preventative care routines, and think ahead about healthcare decisions often describe feeling less overwhelmed when unexpected situations happen. The goal is not eliminating uncertainty entirely. That’s unrealistic.

The goal is reducing how chaotic healthcare decisions feel under pressure.

That’s one reason broader conversations tied to healthcare and health insurance have expanded significantly over the last several years. Rising costs, changing coverage structures, and increasing healthcare complexity have made long-term planning more important for average households than many people expected.

Healthcare is no longer something most families can comfortably approach reactively forever.

People Underestimate How Quickly Healthcare Costs Compound

One reason health planning habits matter so much is that healthcare costs rarely arrive in one dramatic moment alone.

More often, they build gradually:

  • recurring prescriptions
  • specialist visits
  • ongoing treatment plans
  • insurance deductible increases
  • long-term care considerations
  • unexpected procedures layered on top of existing expenses

Families often absorb these costs incrementally until they realize how much financial pressure accumulated over time.

That gradual buildup is part of what makes proactive planning valuable. People who think ahead about coverage structures, emergency savings, provider networks, and preventative care tend to adapt more smoothly when healthcare needs eventually increase later in life.

The difficult part is that many households delay these conversations because they feel healthy right now.

Healthcare Decisions Have Become More Complicated

Another challenge is that healthcare systems themselves continue evolving quickly.

Insurance structures change. Telehealth expands. Employer-sponsored benefits shift. Prescription pricing fluctuates. Patients now carry more responsibility for understanding deductibles, provider networks, and out-of-pocket exposure than previous generations often did.

That complexity creates decision fatigue.

Even relatively organized households sometimes feel uncertain about whether they’re making good healthcare choices because the systems themselves are difficult to navigate confidently. A lot of current health insurance trends discussions reflect this larger issue, healthcare planning is becoming less about isolated medical events and more about long-term sustainability across entire households.

People want predictability, but healthcare systems increasingly feel harder to predict.

The Most Effective Health Habits Usually Feel Boring

One thing people rarely admit is that good long-term planning habits are often not particularly exciting.

Scheduling preventative appointments. Reviewing insurance annually. Building emergency savings slowly. Staying physically active consistently. Maintaining realistic routines instead of dramatic cycles of burnout and reset.

None of those habits feel dramatic at the moment.

But over long periods, they create stability that becomes incredibly valuable once life gets complicated. The people who navigate healthcare stress most effectively are often the ones who built ordinary systems early instead of waiting for perfect motivation later.

That applies financially and physically at the same time.

Why Long-Term Success Depends on Adaptability

Health planning is ultimately difficult because people’s lives keep changing.

Careers shift. Families grow. Aging parents require support. Medical needs evolve. Financial priorities change over decades in ways nobody predicts perfectly in advance.

That’s why the strongest long-term health planning habits are usually flexible rather than rigid.

The goal is not building a flawless plan that never changes. It’s creating enough structure, awareness, and preparation that future adjustments become manageable instead of overwhelming.

Most people cannot control every future health outcome. They can, however, build habits that make uncertainty easier to navigate when it eventually arrives.

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Life

Why Moving to a New City Can Change Your Mindset

Discover how moving to a new city boosts neuroplasticity, builds resilience, and reshapes your mindset

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How relocation changes your mindset

Relocation is always a challenge. Rebuilding and restarting your life requires you to step outside of your comfort zone. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Hidden Reason You Can’t Stay Consistent

If motivation keeps failing you, the real issue isn’t discipline. It’s the identity shaping your habits and long-term success.

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Identity-based habits

Success often looks like a time-management problem. You buy a planner, set reminders, and hope that next week will be different. For a few days, it works. Then stress hits, motivation drops, and old patterns return. (more…)

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