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How to Stop the War in Your Head and Find Peace

When you argue in your head, you poison your mind and waste your precious time

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self talk
Image Credit: Midjourney

People talk within themselves throughout the waking time which is known as internal conversation, internal monologue, self-talk, inner speech, inner discourse, or internal discourse. It is quite natural and normal. 

However, some people argue in their heads which leads to internal conflict, anxiety, and depression. Most challenges in individuals arise due to the arguments within their minds. 

When people feed their minds with negative information they evolve as negative individuals whereas when people feed their minds with positive information they evolve as positive individuals. 

Don’t Waste Your Precious Mental Time

When you argue in your head, you poison your mind and waste your precious time. It may have adverse effects on the people around you. People often think that wasting time is physical. It is mental as well. 

People waste more of their mental time and less physical time in their lives. When you think about negative people and unpleasant events from the past excessively you waste your precious time mentally. 

Research shows that people waste 30 percent of their time thinking about their unpleasant past that cannot be changed. 

So, learn to live in the present without thinking about your unpleasant past and worrying about the future. Feed your mind with positive thoughts and work constructively and creatively to achieve success.

Avoid Becoming A Chronic Overthinker 

Overcome the paralysis of analysis. Avoid thinking as follows: I wish I succeeded as an entrepreneur. I wish I was born into a healthy family. I wish I had a regular education. I wish I had education from eminent educational institutions. I wish I had a mentor or coach in my early life to become successful. 

Avoid irrational imaginative internal arguments. Be realistic and practical. Be positive and confident. See the light in you to lead your life with peace and happiness.

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Avoid Imaginary Irrational Arguments In Your Head

Here are some tips to avoid arguing in your head. Don’t take unhealthy criticism personally. Be thick-skinned. Avoid the individuals who enjoy arguing with others. Don’t react to them. Ignore them. 

Act positively. Detach from negative individuals and attach to positive individuals. Have self-awareness. Understand the power of internal monologue and leverage it constructively. Write down the journal. 

For instance, whenever there is an issue or conflict in my mind, I write it down. It serves as a therapy. I get relief and a solution for it. 

Additionally, I unlock the power of my subconscious mind to find solutions for problems and resolve conflicts effectively.

Rehearsing Arguments Is A Double-Edged Sword

Research shows that rehearsing arguments in your mind ends up causing more harm than good leading to mental illness and damaging your body. It adversely affects your mind and body. 

However, litigation lawyers often rehearse a lot mentally before they actually argue in the courts. Before writing an article or research paper, I play out the whole scenario. 

Before uploading a video on my YouTube channel, I play out the whole scenario. Before I attend an interview podcast or webinar as a guest, I play out the whole scenario. 

It helps me contribute my best as I anticipate probable questions and rehearse my answers. So, playing out the whole scenario is a double-edged sword. It all depends on how you use your mind and subconscious mind.

Master Your Mind To Lead Your Life Mindfully

Avoid war in your head. Remember that the internal enemy is more dangerous than the external enemy. So, avoid your internal arguments to check your internal enemy. 

Calm down your irrational argumentative mind to lead your life mindfully and meaningfully. Your mind is a masterpiece. You can use it either for constructive or destructive activities. It is under your control. Don’t make a mess of it. Use it constructively to build a better world. 

To summarize, use the power of the subconscious mind positively to stop arguing in your head to excel as a positive individual and perceive others positively. You can talk great things with others and inspire them. 

Remember, you are what you feed your mind. So feed your mind positively to excel as a healthy individual. 

Professor M.S. Rao, Ph.D. is the Father of “Soft Leadership” and the Founder of MSR Leadership Consultants, India. He is an International Leadership Guru with forty years of experience and the author of fifty books including the award-winning ‘See the Light in You’ URL: https://www.amazon.com/See-Light-You-Spiritual-Mindfulness/dp/1949003132. He is a C-Suite advisor and global keynote speaker. He brings a strategic eye and long-range vision given his multifaceted professional experience including military, teaching, training, research, consultancy, and philosophy. He is passionate about serving and making a difference in the lives of others. He is a regular contributor to Entrepreneur Magazine. He trains a new generation of leaders through leadership education and publications.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
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The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
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“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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