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How to Embrace the Darkness to Hold More Light

In order to hold more light, one must be unafraid to experience more darkness

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Image Credit: Midjourney

A recent New Moon meditation brought up a deep insight into the relationship between light and darkness. These concepts may appear to be esoteric and unrelated to reinvention and growth but it’s not. 

After the meditation a thought came to me; “In order to hold more light, one must be unafraid to experience more darkness”.

Fearing the (flying) light

In my homeland of Curaçao, fireflies are a rarity, unlike all the ones I saw in Costa Rica at the age of six while on vacation with my family. Once, while playing late at the playground near the jungle the fireflies emerged. 

Triggering an overwhelming fear within me. I ran to our room and avoided the jungle’s darkness from that day on. I had no idea what the flying lights were and they scared me shitless.

During the meditation, I was led to think of fireflies in the usual way I would think about them today; as magical harmless creatures that light up the sky. Which is the opposite of how I thought about them at six years old.

To see fireflies, it needs to be dark. The darker it is, the easier it is to see them. But how does this philosophy translate into practical terms? How can we integrate this principle into our pursuit of goals and purpose? 

Easy, this philosophy urges us to recognize that setbacks, failures, and discomfort are not detours but integral components of our journey. Just as success coexists with challenges, it’s crucial to make space for both ends of the spectrum.

Success and its challenges

There’s a proverb in Dutch that translates to “Tall trees catch more wind”. Tall trees that rise above the rest are exposed to more elements, including wind. So it is with high-ranking successful people. 

They are more susceptible to challenges, hatred, opposition, and failure. In contrast, not pursuing success and growth means staying in one’s comfort zone.

We all know that to succeed one needs to be comfortable being uncomfortable. However, most people are unaware that this is what’s holding them back. 

They’re so used to avoiding and pushing through their feelings. Especially if it means dealing with “negative emotions”. Their fear of the darkness is what holds them back from experiencing the light that they’re craving. 

At the same time, sometimes we’re afraid of the light. Like my experience with fireflies in Costa Rica. I wasn’t afraid of the darkness, just the weird flying lights. The fear of success and the fear of failure are different sides of the same coin. 

To experience more success and growth, one must be able to fully embrace the darkness. To dissolve the fear of the darkness. To become completely unafraid of the possible challenges that may come. 

“You will fear the darkness only to the extent that you yourself are not providing light.” — Marianne Williamson

Pushing through is not the answer

Pushing through or ignoring fears, however, works counterproductive. It may work for a while but eventually, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Facing fears through mindset work works. 

Understanding that fear is an emotion, that our bodies hold on to these emotions, and being able to alchemize these emotions into something positive is a next-level experience. It truly allows anyone to hold more light and be unafraid of the darkness. In essence, it allows us to expand our comfort zone.

The easy way out

We all want the easy way out. It’s easy! Not many understand how facing our emotions, makes things so much easier. That’s because it isn’t easy on the surface. We’re not taught to do it, it’s not popular and it is uncomfortable. 

It’s the darkness that we need to walk through to get to the light. Sometimes with a lot of faith while there’s still no sight of the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Practical tools to dissolve the fear

Emotions are stored in our body like muscle memory. Even if it’s a one-time event it can stay in the body. Especially if it’s a traumatic experience. Our bodies hold on to emotions like this to protect us from experiencing uncomfortable feelings.

To release what’s in the body, Somatic healing modalities are necessary. Things like Breathwork, EFT Tapping, shaking, Yoga, and meditation work well. Somatic healing modalities are anything that bypasses the mind to go straight to the body. 

Which not only can dissolve the fears in the body but can also activate our intuition. After all, it was a meditation that brought about the philosophy on which this entire article is based.

Being unafraid of the darkness

The dance between darkness and light is woven into the very fabric of our being. Just like fireflies casting their enchanting light into the night, we have the power to discover deep insights and inner strength when we embrace the shadows within us. 

In our pursuit of bigger goals, let’s keep in mind that our ability to shine brighter is tied to our courage to journey through the darkness.

As a Freedom Alchemist, Sheedia Jansen creates safe spaces to break free from conformity and create an exhilarating, liberated existence. Like she does in her flagship program SANCTUARY and the free Freedom Box.Proving to people that they can create freedom in all areas of life is her fuel. She believes no one should settle for anything less than what they want. That's why the motto for Hey Sheedia is; “Experience more freedom by challenging the norms."

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
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Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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