Change Your Mindset
This Isn’t a Disney Movie: No One Is Going to Save You

I think we’ve all been hypnotized. Hypnotized by movies, books, and stories that we’ve heard growing up as children.
All of these stories can provide a great source of inspiration, but as you grow up, you start to realize reality isn’t necessarily the same. When life doesn’t go right, goals don’t get accomplished, you can’t overcome a bad habit, or when you feel stuck in life – no genie magically comes out of a lamp to save you.
Nothing in life changes unless you do.
The stories we’ve been told as children have hypnotized us into thinking that someone or something external to us will save us. Save us from experiencing pain. Save us from our bad habits. Save us from failure. Protect us from our own mistakes. Or save us from lack of motivation.
When in reality, nothing comes until we acknowledge that change must occur within ourselves if we desire different results in our life.
Now, this doesn’t mean I’m a pessimist or believe the stories we’ve been told have done more harm to us than good. In fact, I’m an optimist, and I believe every story we’ve been told as a child lies a substantial amount of wisdom that can be applied if properly understood.
However, if you unconsciously look at these stories superficially and compare them to your personal life, you’ve made a grave mistake. By doing this, you unconsciously walk-through life believing that something will save you from your current state of discontent.
As many have said, we are the stories that we tell ourselves. If the script doesn’t change, it becomes a self-perpetual cycle of the same habits, emotions, and results, whether it be in our personal or professional lives.
On top of that, one of the most pervasive myths that seem to be interwoven into every story we’ve been told as a child is that we are somehow entitled to a great life. And that someone or something is responsible for filling our lives with happiness, wealth, fulfilling relationships, and radiating health.
Responsibility is required for a better life.
There comes a time in everyone’s life when an act of 100% personal reasonability needs to be accepted for true change to occur.
As Jim Rohn has said, “you must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.”
That means we can’t blame our parents, circumstances, where and how we grew up, or that pesky zodiac sign for where we are in our lives. If you want to truly step into greener pastures and increase your life in all areas – we have to point the finger at ourselves.
Taking 100% personal reasonability of your life takes some vulnerability, but vulnerability is the first step to change because when you can admit that your current behaviors are not conducive to your future self – that’s an expression of psychological strength.
We often try to justify our victim stories, excuses, and why things aren’t working out, which further contributes to the terrible results we don’t want in our lives. It takes someone strong to shine a light onto themselves and apply some introspection.
Ask yourself questions like: What can I change? What habit do I need to let go of? What small steps can I take to help me get rid of this bad habit? What did I say or did not say? What do I need to do differently to get better results? Do my beliefs about myself support my future self?
“Taking responsibility is a commitment to own your life, to self-leadership, growth, and freedom.” – Christopher Avery
I remember feeling this urge to pursue something new in my life. I wanted to advance but didn’t know where. I tried to break my old habits but didn’t feel like I had the motivation. I wanted someone to invest in my ideas or business, but I wasn’t doing the work required to substantiate such a request.
It wasn’t until after a few weeks of introspection within myself that I realized no one was going to come and rescue me and lay out the red carpet for the better life I desperately craved for. I had to change the script I was telling myself and take 100% responsibility.
I realized that if I wanted to change, I had to relinquish old habits and excuses and get 1% better every day. This wasn’t easy at first – but over time, it seemed like momentum began to fall on my side. When I started to take personal reasonability for the decisions in my life, that’s when life started clicking, and I felt like life was working for me rather than against me.
As the saying goes, “if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.”
Nothing changes unless you do first. You have to take full reasonability, then that’s when life starts working for you.
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Shift Your Mindset
10 Hidden Psychological Barriers That Are Killing Your Success

Sure, success often gets credited to hard work, talent, and a sprinkle of luck. But dive into psychology, and you’ll find sneaky mental patterns and behaviors messing with your progress.
Here are ten fascinating insights into these hidden barriers, along with some tips to kick them to the curb:
1. Unconscious Mental Processes and Performance
Our unconscious mind is like a backstage crew, controlling much of the show without us even knowing. It’s tricky because we can’t always tell if it’s one thought or a gang of them messing with our performance.
- Why It Happens: Our brain is a multitasking machine, processing loads of info behind the scenes to keep us functioning. This can sometimes trip us up without us realizing it.
- Example: Imagine prepping for a big presentation. Despite being ready, you feel super anxious. Those jitters could be old memories of past screw-ups haunting you.
- How to Overcome It: Get into mindfulness and self-reflection. Techniques like journaling can help you spot and deal with these sneaky influences.
2. All or Nothing Thinking
Ever see things in black-and-white? That’s a cognitive distortion called all-or-nothing thinking. No gray areas, just extremes.
- Why It Happens: Our brain loves to simplify stuff, even if it means being unrealistic. It’s like a shortcut that often leads to stress.
- Example: Thinking you have to be perfect at your job or you’re a total flop. It’s all or nothing, no middle ground.
- How to Overcome It: Challenge those extreme thoughts. Find the balance and remind yourself that effort and progress matter, even if things aren’t perfect.
3. Self-Limiting Beliefs
These pesky beliefs sneak in from past experiences and hold us back. They’re like invisible chains.
- Why It Happens: Our brain likes to stick to the familiar to avoid failure. These beliefs get formed early and dig in deep.
- Example: Bombed a math test once and now think you’re doomed to suck at math forever? That’s a self-limiting belief in action.
- How to Overcome It: Spot these beliefs and question them. Replace them with positive affirmations and look for evidence that proves them wrong.
4. Habit Formation and Unconscious Behavior
We’re creatures of habit, with a lot of our actions running on autopilot.
- Why It Happens: Our brain automates routines to save energy. Handy, but not always helpful.
- Example: Procrastinating? That’s a habit that can tank your productivity and success.
- How to Overcome It: Build new, positive habits. Set small, doable goals and track your progress with habit trackers.
5. Normative Unconscious Processes
These processes keep us stuck in our comfort zones, resisting necessary changes.
- Why It Happens: Familiarity feels safe, so our brain resists change even when it’s good for us.
- Example: Sticking with a job you hate because it’s familiar, even though it’s not what you want.
- How to Overcome It: Push yourself out of your comfort zone with specific, actionable goals. Get a mentor or coach for support.
6. Violation of Social Norms
Going against the grain can be seen as abnormal, but sometimes it’s just what’s needed.
- Why It Happens: Society’s unwritten rules can be strict, and breaking them can lead to judgment.
- Example: An entrepreneur taking wild risks might seem reckless, but those risks can lead to big breakthroughs.
- How to Overcome It: Own your unique approach and find places that value diverse perspectives. Explain your rationale to others and seek support.
7. Statistical Rarity and Abnormal Behavior
Just because something is rare doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Context is key.
- Why It Happens: What’s unusual can be misunderstood, especially without considering cultural and situational factors.
- Example: Preferring solitude might seem antisocial, but in some cultures, it’s a respected trait.
- How to Overcome It: Respect cultural differences and find communities that appreciate your uniqueness.
8. Personal Distress and Behavior
Behaviors that stress you out can be markers of deeper issues, but not always.
- Why It Happens: Distress signals can be about deeper problems or just responses to tough situations.
- Example: Chronic stress from overworking can lead to burnout, tanking your performance and well-being.
- How to Overcome It: Take care of yourself. Get help if you need it and practice stress management techniques like exercise and meditation.
9. Maladaptive Behaviors
These are survival strategies gone wrong, sticking around when they’re no longer useful.
- Why It Happens: Behaviors that once helped you cope can become harmful if you keep using them in new situations.
- Example: Avoiding conflict might have been useful before, but now it hinders effective communication.
- How to Overcome It: Learn new coping strategies that fit your current situation. Practice being assertive and communicating openly.
10. Impact of Labels on Behavior
Labels can stick like glue, influencing how we see ourselves and how others see us.
- Why It Happens: Labels simplify things but can reinforce negative patterns and limit potential.
- Example: Being called “lazy” can crush your self-esteem and motivation, even if it’s not true.
- How to Overcome It: Reject negative labels and focus on your strengths. Surround yourself with people who see your potential and support your growth.
Understanding these hidden psychological barriers can help you develop better strategies for success.
Recognizing and tackling these unconscious patterns can unlock your full potential and set you on a path to personal and professional growth.
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