Success Advice
The Purpose of Negative Emotions and How to Use Them to Your Advantage

Grief. Suffering. Anger. Anxiety. All of these words come with their own visceral experience. Even seeing them on the screen, you can feel the punch in the gut, the struggle for air, the adrenaline coursing through your veins, and the weight on your body that feels like you’re walking through quicksand.
As people, we become averse to these emotions. We run from them, avoid them, and stuff them until we can no longer hide them from ourselves, and even then, we seek the answers of zen to take these nightmare-making emotions away as fast as possible.
But what if I told you that negative emotions are actually good?
Okay, maybe not good necessarily, but useful and important. And the more you try to outrun the negative emotions, the harder they will pound you when you get too exhausted to run any further. There is a much more powerful and grounding way to deal with these emotions.
1. Examine the emotion
Negative emotions are so powerful because they’re like big, blinking neon warning signs saying, “HEY! Something’s wrong here! Pay attention!”. The problem is that because those signs can be blinding, it’s easy to close your eyes and shield yourself from them. The problem with that is you miss their intended purpose altogether when that happens.
Negative emotions exist for one main purpose: to let you know when something has gone awry. When you fall and scratch your knee, it hurts. If it didn’t hurt, you wouldn’t know to tend the wound and you’d risk making it worse. Emotions are like nerve endings for your mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness. When things hurt, it means they need to be examined, not run from, ignored, or buried.
When you examine the emotion you’re feeling, you need to ask yourself this question first: Is this thought true?
If the thought isn’t true, then you need to change your thoughts. If the thought is true, then you need to change your actions so that you can change the truth to be in alignment with who you truly are instead of who you’ve been acting like.
“When embraced and accepted, negative emotions can be a powerful catalyst to positive change in one’s life and can lead to deeper feeling of meaning and authenticity.” – Paul Wong
2. Changing your thoughts
Thoughts are like horses. They’ll run wild and trample all over you if you let them. But if you lead them, direct them, and corral them, then they can be quite useful. The more you allow your thoughts to spiral and run away with you, the more negative emotions they’ll create for you to process. And if you stuff those negative emotions in a corner somewhere, eventually they’ll come back to bite you. But changing your thoughts, that is the key.
When we talk about changing your thoughts, we’re not talking about distracting yourself with a better feeling thought. That won’t help you. Instead, we’re talking about examining the thought and breaking down why it’s not true so that you can actually change the thought to something that is true.
For example, if you have the thought, Nobody likes me, running around in your head all day, that’s not serving you. When you actually look at that thought, is it true? Probably not. Break it down as to why.
You probably have a friend or two that like you. You may have a family member that likes you. There’s that neighbor that tries to bend your ear every time you wave hello at the mailbox. You may have pets who adore you. So if it’s not true that nobody likes you, what is true?
Could you say, “I have people and animals in my life who value me”? Or how about, “The relationships I have are ones where I’m cherished”? Or even this one, “I am liked by some people”?
Notice, you’re not trying to go to the other extreme and say, “EVERYBODY likes me!” That wouldn’t feel true, and your subconscious mind would immediately kick it out. But if you can reach for something that’s more true that you can show yourself is accurate, that allows you to actually change your thoughts.
3. Changing your behavior
Sometimes when looking at a thought, it’s going to feel like a sucker punch because the thought is true in that moment. But that doesn’t mean it has to be true forever. It’s in that moment that you get to make an important decision. Are you going to live according to a truth that you don’t want to experience or are you going to change your behavior to live in alignment with the truth you desire?
It’s a confronting choice because changing your behavior requires you to make new conscious decisions. You have to examine, “What are the thought patterns that come up that perpetuate this cycle of behavior?” Once you’ve identified those patterns of thoughts, you have to actively choose something else instead.
Transformational Meditation™ is one of the techniques that can help with this, but for now, watch the excuses that you’ll use to keep yourself from living the aligned truth. Once you know what they are and get adept at talking yourself through them to take the action that you need to take, the new behavior becomes your default. And then you’re free to make better choices, which will reduce your experience of negative emotions as a natural consequence.
As painful as negative emotions can be, they’re there to show you your next stage of growth. When you can see where the work needs to be done and you run toward it instead of away from it, you’ll reduce negative emotional suffering and get to aligned living faster.
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Personal Development
These 11 Habits Will Make You More Productive, Successful, and Confident
Boost your focus, confidence, and results with 11 powerful habits successful people use every day.

Successful people love to help beginners. They have an incredible work ethic and rarely complain. As a result, others naturally look up to them and want to follow in their footsteps.
But here’s the truth: there’s no success without sacrifice. You’ll need to give up comfort, excuses, and sometimes even social approval to accomplish your goals.
Value comes from solving problems, and these 11 powerful tips will help you become more productive, successful, and confident, starting today.
1. Take Short Breaks After Finishing a Task
Psychology shows it’s important to reward positive behaviour.
After completing a big task or finishing a book, take five minutes to walk, stretch, or simply breathe. This quick reset helps your brain recharge and strengthens focus.
Many great writers swear by morning walks, solitude, and reflection can unlock creativity.
But if you refuse to take breaks, don’t be surprised when burnout hits. Your brain needs recovery time just as much as your body does.
2. Schedule Your Most Important Tasks First
Multitasking kills productivity. If you want to get more done, try time blocking, a method where you dedicate set periods for specific tasks.
Productivity expert Caitlin Hughes explains, “Time blocking involves scheduling blocks of time for your tasks throughout the day.”
For example, if you’re a writer:
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Research your topic at night.
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Write your first draft in the morning (don’t worry if it’s rough).
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Edit in the afternoon, great writing comes from rewriting.
You can’t buy more time. Use it intentionally and without regret.
3. Eliminate Distractions from Your Workspace
Focus is the foundation of success.
According to Inc. Magazine, it takes an average of 23 minutes to recover from a distraction. That’s nearly half an hour of lost productivity every time you check your phone.
Put your phone away. Close unnecessary tabs. And yes, limit your Netflix binges.
Meeting deadlines consistently is one of the fastest ways to stand out and earn respect.
4. Take Full Responsibility for Your Life
Entrepreneur Derek Sivers once said, “Everything is my fault.”
This mindset doesn’t mean self-blame; it means self-ownership. Stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or waiting for others to change.
If your habits (like smoking or drinking too much) hold you back, it’s time to make better choices. Your friends can’t live your dreams for you; only you can.
5. Invest an Hour a Day in Learning New Skills
Knowledge compounds over time.
Whether you read books, take online courses, or practise a craft, consistent learning gives you a competitive edge.
I used to struggle with academic writing, but I improved by studying the work of great authors and applying what I learned.
Your past doesn’t define you; your actions do. Every new skill adds another tool to your arsenal and makes you more unstoppable.
6. Develop a Growth Mindset
Psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck introduced the concept of fixed vs. growth mindset.
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A fixed mindset believes success is based on natural talent.
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A growth mindset believes success comes from effort and learning.
Choose the growth mindset. Embrace challenges. See failures as feedback. In today’s fast-moving digital world, adaptability is your biggest advantage.
7. Learn Marketing to Reach People Who Need You
I once believed marketing was manipulative, until I realised it’s about helping people solve problems.
If your work provides genuine value, marketing is how you let others know it exists. Even Apple spends billions on it.
Don’t be ashamed to promote your skills or business. Without visibility, your ideas will never reach the people who need them most.
Creative professionals who understand marketing and sales have an unfair advantage.
8. Ask Your Mentor the Right Questions
Good mentors can fast-track your growth.
While mentorship often costs money, it’s one of the best investments you can make. Great mentors don’t care about titles; they care about your progress.
If you don’t have access to a mentor yet, books are your silent mentors. Read the best in your field, take notes, and apply what resonates.
9. Build Confidence Through Action, Not Affirmations
Author Ryan Holiday once said, “I don’t believe in myself. I have evidence.”
Confidence doesn’t come from shouting affirmations into the mirror; it comes from proof. Doing hard things, keeping promises to yourself, and following through.
When you consistently take action, your brain gathers evidence that you can handle whatever comes next. That’s real confidence, grounded, earned, and unshakable.
10. Focus on Your Strengths
Your strengths reveal where your greatest impact lies.
If people compliment you on something often, it’s a clue. Lean into it.
A former professor once told me I was creative, and that simple comment gave me the confidence to go all in. I studied creativity, applied it daily, and turned it into my career advantage.
Double down on your strengths. That’s how you build momentum and mastery.
11. Identify and Challenge Your Limiting Beliefs
Your beliefs shape your reality.
For years, I believed I couldn’t be a great writer because of my chronic tinnitus and astigmatism, sensory challenges that made concentration difficult. But over time, I realised those struggles made me more disciplined, observant, and empathetic.
Your limitations can become your greatest motivators if you let them.
Avoid shortcuts. Growth takes time, but it’s always worth it.
Final Thoughts
Becoming productive, successful, and confident isn’t about working harder than everyone else. It’s about working smarter, consistently, and intentionally.
You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start small: take a break after your next task, schedule your priorities, or spend one hour learning something new.
Every habit you change compounds into long-term success. Remember, true change comes from practising new behaviours.
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