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3 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself and Live an Optimized Life

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The secret to happiness lies in the way you live your life. People think of happiness as some destination they’ll reach when they’ve accomplished the hundred things on their life to-do list. Happiness is often associated with money, material possessions, or even great relationships.

While all of those elements feed into creating happiness, you’ll experience true joy and fulfillment with clarity and by taking better care of yourself. When you spend each day optimizing your life, the consistency compounds, and you’ll experience the benefits of progress. 

The chances are good that you give a lot of yourself to other people while neglecting your wellbeing. You feel tired and burnout because you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost. 

Here are three ways to treat yourself better, optimize your life, and experience the true freedom that comes from creating healthy habits and doing the personal growth work. It’s time to become your own happiness gatekeeper. 

1. Be honest about what you want, minus the expectations of outside influences. 

It’s easy to spend years of your life running in circles, feeling as if you’re accomplishing something but getting farther away from what you want. The lack of clarity is why too many success-seekers never feel satisfied and often chasing shiny objects. What do you want for your life? Be honest. If you thought about the perfect day — what would that look like? Is that what you’re doing now?

The expectations and influences of our parents, family, friends, clients, and those we see on social media tend to feed into our minds and distort what we think we want. Just because a particular life is appealing to someone else doesn’t mean it’s what you want deep inside of you.

You’ll never make the kind of progress that makes you happy without clarity. You can’t treat yourself better if you don’t even know what “better” means specifically for you. It’s long overdue to examine what you want and what doesn’t serve you. That clarity and the decisions you make might rub others the wrong way, and that’s okay as long as it’s what you want. Don’t let external expectations put you on a path that derails your road to accomplishment and a better version of yourself.

“It is so important to take time for yourself and find clarity. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” – Diane Von Furstenberg

2. Add an abundance of pleasure to your routine.

Name the last time you experienced pure exhilaration? If you can’t remember the last time — you’re on the path to burnout, frustration, and bitterness. It’s important to work hard, and each of us has more to give than we realize. But, if your life and routine only involves working on your goals — you’ll come to hate how you spend your days. 

You need fun things and to be doing things that aren’t considered work. Adding an abundance of pleasure breaks up the work and creates anticipation. You train your mind to look forward to taking time off.

Now, what “pleasure” means will be different for each person reading this. Only you know what you enjoy, and you should be honest about what that entails. The goal is to build a life of freedom — that means work and play have an equal place in how you plan and implement. 

You’ll find your productivity increases as you take breaks and reward yourself with fun activities. The only caveat is don’t tip the balance the other way. Don’t let the fun take over the work — you can achieve harmony. You’ll take better care of yourself with balance.

3. Work hard now for a lifetime of freedom later. 

There’s a lot to be said about short-term sacrifices to experience a lifetime of freedom. The idea falls in line with the 20% of the work you do can lead to 80% of the results. What would happen if you spent the next six months going hard on your goals (in a balanced way)?

There are moments when that focused window of hard work exponentially compounds. Treating yourself better means you do the work that creates freedom, financial security, and a healthy you. A dedicated window of hard work can get you there.

Success is not an end destination, but there are goals you can work to accomplish. When you envision your dream life, you probably see the results of achieving those goals. Decide to go hard in blocks. Create a plan that works harder for focused periods.

As you’re reading, this is an excellent opportunity to start your hard work block now is that you experience a lifetime of freedom. Take better care of yourself by committing to make the sacrifices needed. 

Success starts with how you treat yourself. It’s easy to lose focus on the fact that you’re making changes for yourself. Get clarity on what success and accomplishment mean for you. Stop living your life for others — stop putting everything else before what you need to feel whole. Take better care of yourself and optimize your wellbeing. 

Kishshana Palmer is a consultant, executive coach, growth strategist, and high-performance optimization expert that has 20 years of experience. She speaks, mentors, coaches, and writes on the power of inclusive leadership, mental wellbeing, cultivating high performance, and building a sustainable culture. She's worked with more than one hundred leading nonprofits including Big Brothers Big Sisters, Meals on Wheels, New Profit, Future Now, Communities in Schools, Xero Accounting, USO, OneCause, Bloomerang, Boys & Girls Club of America, FoodCorps, BUILD, and more. Join her at kishshanaco.com/.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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