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The Two Ways of Growing: Filling and Leaping

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self growth

The deeper I went into personal development and different schools of thoughts, the more I realized that all of them are right. That made me crazy. Because I was trying to find definite answers to the questions that don’t have one, I just went in circles, never finding the answers I was seeking.

But then, it all came to me in a single moment. It’s not about what is right, it’s about what’s right in that specific moment. It’s just like mental models—  they’re not right or wrong, but the situation where you use them makes it so.

One of those answers I looked for was whether you change yourself incrementally, day by day, and by slowly changing your habits, or if you have to make massive leaps forward where that one moment just propels you forward. I had both of these and they’re both true but only when applied in the right situation.

Below you’ll understand how you will recognize those situations to make the most of them:

1. The First Way of Growing: Filling

Imagine the filling as a progress (experience) bar of your character. You are on level one and your experience bar tells you the number 0/745. Your job at this point is to fill the bar all the way up to 745/745. You do this by slowly gaining experience from doing quests in the game. In real life, you do this by stacking habits and slowly changing your day to day operations.

Simply going to the gym once won’t make you healthy (it’s just 3 experience’s in your experience bar). But if you go 120 times this year (three times a week), you will become fit (360 experience’s in your experience bar). The same thing applies to running, reading books, and writing. It’s about incrementally changing the way you run your day to day operations and you do that by changing your habits.

I did this in my life by reading 20 pages of a book a day (45 books per year), writing 500 words a day (over 400,000 written), going to the gym three times a week and starting my own business.

When you fill the experience bar, and you’re at 745/745, that doesn’t mean you’ll automatically hit the next level. You’ll need something different to hit the next level and it’s leaping.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.” – Jim Rohn

2. The Second Way of Growing: Leaping

This way of growing is less available than the filling one. It only activates itself once the experience bar is full and you need to get to the next level. So what happens here?  

When the experience bar is full, your body and mind unlock a special mode of insights where a single spark, a glitch, can make you experience what the old Eastern people used to call Satori moments.

Satori moments are moments of deep insight where you feel one with everything. Time stops for you and suddenly you have clarity of mind, thought, and action. Everything in your life makes complete sense and if it doesn’t, you look at those things as something foolish which you can easily discard.

The best way to give you an earthly example of this is when a person stops smoking because they just witnessed the birth of their first child or saw the lungs of a hardcore smoker. They do it in an instant because the strength of the moment changed them.

Their old self died to give place for a new self to grow. This is how you get to the next level. After the moment passes and you take away everything that you can from it, it’s time to get back to the first way of growing: filling. You leaped forward to the next level only to find yourself at 0/890 experience bar. It’s time to fill it back up.

To do this, you’ll have to apply different habits. You analyze and see what this experience bar requires from you. Because what got you here won’t get you there. So you take a different set of habits and apply them until you fill the bar again. Once you do, the satori moment kicks in and you are at level 3.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

Growth is a Circle

There is no growth without the eagle’s perspective, which is the holistic approach toward life, where you suddenly have an insight because you saw the forest. But also, there is no growth without the worm’s perspective where you see the day to day operations and tend to them. Growth requires both and it comes in circles.

What do you need to do to grow to the next level? Is it filling or leaping? Comment below!

Bruno Boksic is an expert habit builder who was covered in the biggest personal development publications like Lifehack, Addicted2Success, Goalcast, Pick The Brain. If you want to build life-long habits, Growthabits is the first place to visit.

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Success Advice

Why One-Size-Fits-All Leadership Will Always Fail (and What Works Instead)

The surprising truth about leadership styles that can make or break your team’s success.

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Why one-size-fits-all leadership doesn’t work
Image Credit: Midjourney

Leadership has always been as much about people as it is about performance. Ken Blanchard, in his influential book, “The One Minute Manager”, put it simply: different strokes for different folks. (more…)

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Success Advice

What Every New CEO Must Do in Their First 100 Days (or Risk Failure)

Your first 100 days as CEO could define your entire legacy, here’s how to make every move count

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leadership tips for new CEO
Image Credit: Midjourney

When Tim Cook took over from Steve Jobs at Apple, the world watched with bated breath. Jobs wasn’t just a CEO; he was a visionary, an icon, and a legend of innovative leadership. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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Entrepreneurs

What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

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entrepreneurial leadership skills and traits
Image Credit: Midjourney

When you think of Richard Branson (Virgin Group), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation), and Ted Turner (CNN), one thing becomes clear: they are not just entrepreneurs, they are entrepreneurial leaders. (more…)

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