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A Marine Corps Drill Instructor’s 27 Personal Development Guideposts

If you can drill these guideposts for personal development in deep, you have everything it takes to lead like one

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Image Credit: Staff Sergeant Mary Phaly, USMC

They comprise one of the smallest fractions of the smallest and most selective branch of the United States military.

They spend an intensive thirteen weeks transforming America’s youthful suburbanites into the most respected and carefully trained elite warriors on the planet. They’ve earned their place among the nation’s finest leaders.

Their presence is commanding, their expectations are high, and their tolerance for excuses is non-existent.

Yet, they are not the uncompromising, foreboding, uncaring, staunch disciplinarians we’ve come to love being entertained by in the movies and on television.

They are Marine Corps drill instructors.

They are the premier leaders of their organization, and they are the backbone of the Marine Corps. Their mission is to write success stories. And, according to the Rand Corporation, the Marine Corps boasts the highest success and lowest attrition rates out of any of the other branch’s recruit training processes thanks to these professional and devoted leaders.

While the general perception of these Marines may suggest that they somehow possess larger-than-life superhuman characteristics, the truth is that they are carefully selected professionals who spend their lives and careers developing themselves into the leadership powerhouses that they are while on and off the drill field.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”—George Bernard Shaw

Meet Staff Sergeant Mary Phaly. She is currently serving a term as a drill instructor in San Diego. She is also among the first wave of drill instructors to serve in California’s Marine Corps Recruit Depot since the first female recruits to ever train in San Diego walked across the parade deck in 2021 making Marine Corps history.

Her drive, ambition, and acumen are enough to be sufficiently impressed and inspired. So, how does someone like Staff Sergeant Phaly develop herself into one of the nation’s best?

Here are 27 of her top personal development guideposts:

  1. Ask for help when you need it. It’s not a vulnerability.
  2. Learn your craft.
  3. Learn your supervisor’s job.
  4. Learn how every component of your organization functions and works together.
  5. Set expectations clearly and be consistent.
  6. Be instrumental and proactive in the success of others around you.
  7. Know your people. Understand their unique learning styles.
  8. Know your people’s values, beliefs, backgrounds, and goals.
  9. Listen to understand always.
  10. Keep yourself current and educated.
  11. Be an effective communicator.
  12. Be honest.
  13. Teach your people how to think critically and become leaders.
  14. Recognize and purpose your people to their strengths.
  15. Praise your people in public.
  16. Discipline in private with the intent to promote the success and growth of your people.
  17. Be humble.
  18. Take pride and care in your personal appearance.
  19. Do not tolerate gossip.
  20. Be adaptive to change.
  21. Resolve conflicts fairly, consistently, and privately.
  22. Get good at building relationships.
  23. Forget your ego.
  24. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
  25. Admit when you’re wrong and do your best to correct it.
  26. Be available to your people, but set boundaries.
  27. Be trustworthy.

Less than 180,000 people currently serve in the United States Marine Corps. They are truly the few and the proud. So, even if you aren’t able to become a Marine, if you can drill these guideposts for personal development in deep, you have everything it takes to lead like one.

Brian Parsons is a leader, teacher, author, philanthropist, and CEO of Just Keep Playing Media, LLC with over twenty years of experience in diverse leadership roles. He is a veteran of the United States Marine Corps, a former peace officer for the state of Colorado, a former non-profit manager, and the author of the Don’t Bee a Prick leadership book series.

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Life

How Learning the Skill of Hope Can Change Everything

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life

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Hope as a skill
Image Credit: Midjourney

Hope isn’t wishful thinking. It’s a state of being and a skill that has profound evidence of helping people achieve success in life.

Wishful thinking, on the other hand, is like having dreams in the sky without a ladder to climb, having a destination without a map, or trying to operate a jet-engine airplane without instructions. It sounds nice but is impossible to realize. You don’t have what you need to make it happen!

What Real Hope Is

Real hope is actionable, practical, and realistic. Better yet, it’s feasible and can be learned.

One popular approach is Hope Theory. This concept is used by colleges to study how hope impacts students’ academic performance. Researchers found that students with high levels of hope achieve better grades and are more likely to graduate compared to those with less hope.

Hope can be broken down into two components:

  1. Pathways – The “how to” of hope. This is where people think of and establish plans for achieving their goals.
  2. Agency – The “I can” of hope. This is the belief that the person can accomplish their goals.

Does Hope Really Work?

According to Webster’s Dictionary, hope as a noun is defined as: “desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment.”

As humans, we are wired to crave fulfillment. We have the ability to envision it and, through hope, make it a reality.

My Experience with Hope

For 13 years, I was a hopeless human. During my time working at a luxury hotel as a front desk agent earning $11.42 per hour, I felt the sting of hopelessness the most.

The regret of feeling my time was being stolen from me lingered every time I clocked in. Eventually, I decided to do something about it.

I gave myself permission to hope for something better. I began establishing pathways to success and regained agency by learning from self-help books and seeking mentorship.

Because I took action toward something I desired, I now feel more hope and joy than I ever felt hopelessness. Hope changed me.

Hope Actually Improves Your Life

Wishful thinking doesn’t work, and false hope is equally ineffective. Real hope, however, is directly tied to success in all areas of life.

Studies show that hopeful people tend to:

  • Demonstrate better problem-solving skills
  • Cultivate healthier relationships
  • Maintain stronger motivation to achieve goals
  • Exhibit better work ethic
  • Have a positive outlook on life

These benefits can impact work life, family life, habit-building, mental health, physical health, and spiritual practice. Imagine how much better your life could be by applying real hope to all these areas.

How to Develop the Skill to Hope

As acclaimed French writer Jean Giono wrote in The Man Who Planted Trees:
“There are also times in life when a person has to rush off in pursuit of hopefulness.”

If you are at one of those times, here are ways to develop the skill to hope:

1. Dream Again

To cultivate hope, you need to believe in its possibility. Start by:

  • Reflecting on what you’re passionate about, your values, and what you want to achieve.
  • Writing your dreams down, sharing them with someone encouraging, or saying them out loud.
  • Creating a vision board to make your dreams feel more tangible.

Dreams are the foundation of hope—they give you something meaningful to aspire toward.

2. Create an Environment of Hope

  • Set Goals: Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them.
  • Visualize Success: Use inspirational quotes, photos, or tools like dumbbells or canvases to remind yourself of your goals.
  • Build a Resource Library: Collect books, eBooks, or audiobooks about hope and success to inspire you.

An environment that fosters hope will keep you motivated, resilient, and focused.

3. Face the Challenges

Don’t avoid challenges—overcoming them builds confidence. Participating in challenging activities, like strategic games, can enhance your problem-solving skills and reinforce hope.

4. Commit to Wisdom

Seek wisdom from those who have achieved what you aspire to. Whether through books, blogs, or social media platforms, learn from their journeys. Wisdom provides the foundation for real, actionable hope.

5. Take Note of Small Wins

Reflecting on past victories can fuel your hope for the future. Ask yourself:

  • What challenges have I already overcome?
  • How did I feel when I succeeded?

By remembering those feelings of happiness, relief, or satisfaction, your brain will naturally adopt a more hopeful mindset.

Conclusion

Hope is more than wishful thinking—it’s a powerful skill that can transform your life. By dreaming again, creating a hopeful environment, facing challenges, seeking wisdom, and celebrating small wins, you can develop the real hope necessary for success in all aspects of life.

Let hope guide you toward a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Life

The 5 Stages of a Quarter-Life Crisis & What You Can Do

A quarter-life crisis isn’t a sign you’ve lost your way; it’s a sign you’re fighting for a life that’s truly yours.

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what is a quarter life crisis
Image Credit: Midjourney

The quarter-life crisis is a well-defined set of stages—Trapped, Checking Out, Separation, Exploration, Rebuilding—one goes through in breaking free from feelings of meaninglessness, lack of fulfillment, and misalignment with purpose. I detail the stages and interweave my story below. (more…)

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Life

Here’s The Thing About Learning, Unlearning, and Relearning

Stop hoarding and start sharing your knowledge and wealth for the benefit of humankind

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sharing your knowledge
Image Credit: Midjourney

Few people have the habit of hoarding their wealth without spending.  However, it limits their motivation as they tend to get into their comfort zones.  When people start spending money, then there will be depletion in their coffers. (more…)

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Life

3 Steps That’ll Help You Take Back Control of Your Life Immediately

The key to finding “enough” is recognizing that the root of the problem is a question of self-esteem and deservedness

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How to build self worth
Image Credit: Midjourney

“It’s never enough.” (more…)

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