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The Day I Stopped Selling and Built a Business

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The advertising agency I’d joined was the most competitive and ambitious in London. Building business was hardwired into every one of us. Competition with other internal teams was part of the process. Jumping to the top of the queue above other teams for the next new business prospect gave us more opportunities for winning new business. We were trained to present, to sell, and sell again and again. And I was desperate to succeed.

Failure could be challenging. Our creative teams could be fearsome to deal with. Emotions ran high — sometimes way too high, with unpleasant consequences.I planned to stay for a year or so. But twelve years passed quickly, and I ended up running a big group. The rewards for those of us who succeeded were good, but I wanted more.

I took a big, big risk and started a breakaway agency with seven colleagues. With a full team and a great office in the center of London, we had a stupidly large overhead from Day One. We also had no client and no income. We had to sell to survive. Every single opportunity, every new business prospect, however small, was critical. Our family houses, the school fees, the grocery bills and everything we owned depended on winning business.

We were good — mostly, very good. Even if we lost a new business pitch, we didn’t give up. Sure, this irritated some prospects, but mostly they appreciated our hunger.

Every idea had to be sold and nurtured. Every opportunity, however small, exploited. Our lives and our families depended on it. And at the end of the first year, we broke even. Our bankers were so amazed they threw us a private lunch to celebrate.

Then times got edgy. We had big debts. We restructured, redoubled our efforts and focused harder on winning business. We survived — and produced some outstanding work.

After years and years of selling the agency to prospects, to staff, stakeholders and selling work to clients, I realized something. I was dog tired. I was exhausted from filling the leaky bucket of revenue over and over again. I knew it was time to merge my agency and get out. I stopped selling.

New Business. No Selling

After a stint at business school, I was back in business, but this time, on my own. I had no website and no name plate on my office. I was invisible, and I didn’t sell. I just told past clients and colleagues what I was planning and doing.

For four months, the phone was quiet. Then it rang. I met with the prospect — and instead of selling and telling him about my offer, I just asked questions about his company and what problems required attention. I checked the size, importance and cost of those problems.

He was interested in working with me, and I was interested in working with him. I wrote a two-paragraph summary of how to tackle the issues and added a price range. It was large and provided good value.

And the phone continued to ring, despite no website, no marketing, no sales activity, and no long submissions. I refused to write submissions – only one-page outlines. I just asked questions.

“Telling is not selling. Only asking questions is selling.” – Brian Tracy

Really. No Selling.

A few years later I co founded The Client Relationship Consultancy. Again: no website, no marketing, no selling. I met with past colleagues and explained our philosophy. We made them sign a two-way NDA — we would never talk about them, and they would never talk about us.

But they wanted to work with us. As clients moved to new agencies, the word spread and we got more calls. These new prospects wanted credentials presentations. I explained that I would tell them about our business for less than sixty seconds, and about our philosophy and approach for four minutes. At that point, if they did not agree with our approach, we could cut short the meeting and I might be able to suggest others who could be a better fit for them. But no one ever said that. And we still had a two-way NDA.

We never chased after a meeting. If I thought a prospect would not be right for us, I would decline their business. Occasionally, existing clients wanted to do things differently. If whatever they suggested failed to meet our philosophy, we refused to work with them.

I loved this new way of carrying out business. I felt re energized. And our clients stuck.

To my business partners’ intense irritation, I refused to set annual targets. I did not want to feel that I needed to sell. But over sixteen years, our business grew and grew — to offices and consultants in London, Windsor, Boston, Mexico, Munich, Singapore and Sydney. Still no website. Still no new business or marketing activity. Still a two-way NDA.

Why It Worked

Why did this approach work? Not having objectives for sales, and not selling, meant that I had a powerful position, equal to that of a prospective client. I could relax. As a result, so could the client. We were able to have adult to adult conversations. The prospective clients became less defensive, and more open to me. They were comfortable disclosing deeper, underlying issues.

Both parties had the opportunity to ensure that the ‘fit’ between was tight. Both sides had the chance to ensure that our beliefs were in synch. The result: long-term, enduring relationships, and no leaky buckets anywhere.

Paul Cowan is a relationship specialist who had a successful career in leading international advertising agencies, then opened his own agency. As a psychotherapist he worked with individuals and couples and consulted with teams and organizations. Specializing in client relationships, he works internationally to facilitate change between agencies and their clients. He cofounded the Client Relationship Consultancy and the Customer Relationship Consultancy. His new book is Connecting with Clients — For stronger, more rewarding and longer-lasting client relationships. Learn more at PaulCowan.com.

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Business

The Entrepreneur’s Reading List That Transforms Ideas Into Empires

These must-read titles and writing insights reveal how entrepreneurs turn bold ideas into empire-level success.

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top entrepreneurship books for business growth
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Entrepreneurship is powered by stories—of accomplishment, failure, and decision moments that define businesses. Books are maps, providing insight from individuals who’ve traversed the road ahead. (more…)

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Entrepreneurs

The Leadership Shift Every Company Needs in 2025

Struggling to keep your team engaged? Here’s how leaders can turn frustrated employees into loyal advocates.

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Bridging the gap between employees and employers
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”

While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.

Why This Gap Exists

Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.

What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.

Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap

Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.

1. Practice Mutual Empathy

Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.

2. Maintain Professional Boundaries

Superiors should separate personal issues from professional decision-making. Consistency, fairness, and integrity build trust, and trust is the foundation of a motivated team.

3. Follow the Golden Rule

Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.

4. Avoid Micromanagement

Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.

5. Empower Employees to Grow

Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.

6. Communicate in All Directions

Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.

7. Overcome Insecurities

Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.

8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship

True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.

9. Eliminate Favoritism

Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.

10. Recognize Efforts Promptly

Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.

11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews

When employees leave, treat it as an opportunity to learn. Keep interviews confidential and use the insights to improve management practices and culture.

12. Provide Leadership Development

Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.

13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles

Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.

The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role

Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:

  • Build diverse talent pipelines

  • Embrace flexible work models

  • Design compelling career paths

  • Simplify HR processes

  • Redefine the value HR brings

The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.

Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff

When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.

Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.

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What Makes an Entrepreneurial Leader? Traits of the World’s Best Innovators

Inside the mindset of entrepreneurial leaders who transform risk, passion, and vision into world-changing results.

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When you think of Richard Branson (Virgin Group), Bill Gates (Microsoft), Steve Jobs (Apple), Rupert Murdoch (News Corporation), and Ted Turner (CNN), one thing becomes clear: they are not just entrepreneurs, they are entrepreneurial leaders. (more…)

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Building a Business Empire: Lessons from the World’s Boldest Entrepreneurs

Learn essential lessons, success strategies, and mindset shifts every aspiring entrepreneur needs to overcome challenges and build a thriving business.

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Back in July 2017, I attended a business seminar on entrepreneurship in India. With my appetite for learning and meeting new people, I wanted to explore the latest developments in the entrepreneurial world. (more…)

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