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You Become What You Absorb: How Input Shapes Your Life

We let the world dictate who we spend time with and what input we allow in, rarely stopping to consider the effects it’s having on us

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How Input Shapes Your Life
Image Credit: Midjourney

“Input” is anything from the outside world that influences your mood, mindset, and emotional state. It includes the media you consume, the books you read, the podcasts and music you listen to, and the movies and shows you watch. But it also encompasses much more: the environment you live and work in, the conversations you have, the people you surround yourself with, and the events, personal or global, that unfold around you.

Think about how different you feel after a weekend in nature versus a week of doom-scrolling social media. That contrast is input at work.

But not all input is created equal.

The Most Influential Input: People

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Harvard researcher Dr. David McClelland echoed that sentiment, asserting that “The people you habitually associate with determine as much as 95% of your success or failure in life.”

It’s something many of us heard growing up. I know my parents constantly asked who I was with and what kind of influence my friends had. Chances are, yours did too.

Yet somehow, as adults, we stop being intentional about this. We become passive. We let the world dictate who we spend time with and what input we allow in, rarely stopping to consider the effects it’s having on us.

Your Output Reflects Your Input

The relationship between what we take in and what we put out is undeniable. When our input is empowering, our output tends to be focused, energized, and constructive. But when our input is negative, toxic, or fear-based, we unconsciously project that into the world as well, through our mood, decisions, and interactions.

And here’s where it gets more impactful: your output becomes someone else’s input.

It’s a ripple effect. If you’re in a bad headspace and bring that energy into a meeting or a family dinner, you influence everyone else’s state, too. Their mood drops, their output suffers, and before you know it, that negativity circles back to you, reinforcing your original state.

This feedback loop doesn’t just impact individuals, it can alter the tone of entire communities, workplaces, even movements.

Leadership Is Shaped by Input

Some of history’s most influential leaders, think Mahatma Gandhi and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., didn’t wield conventional power. They didn’t lead corporations or command armies. What they did possess was the ability to influence through powerful output. Their words, presence, and vision became input that uplifted, stirred, and mobilized others.

They understood how to shift emotions and energy. Their speeches didn’t just inform, they transformed. And that transformation started with their own internal state.

So, what can we learn from that?

We need to become more intentional about what we allow into our minds and environments. Input matters. It shapes everything.

3 Practical Ways to Manage Your Input

To protect your mental and emotional energy and to increase your own power and influence, start with these three strategies:

1. Curate Your Sources of Input

Everything you consume leaves a residue. Books, podcasts, TV shows, TikToks, YouTube rabbit holes, they’re all shaping your internal world.

This doesn’t mean you need to shut yourself off from reality or ignore global issues. But if your mood starts to shift in a way that makes you feel anxious, apathetic, or cynical, it might be time to switch the channel, literally and metaphorically.

Try swapping late-night news binges for inspiring audiobooks. Replace social media scrolling with a walk while listening to an energizing playlist. These simple changes can radically shift your emotional baseline.

2. Set Boundaries with People Who Drain You

It’s hard, especially when it’s a colleague, family member, or close friend, but if someone constantly brings negativity, chaos, or conditional support into your life, it’s crucial to set limits.

You may not be able to cut ties completely, but you can reduce exposure. Limit unnecessary conversations. Avoid feeding into gossip or drama. Protect your energy by guarding the time and emotional space you give to people who don’t pour back into you.

3. Influence the Output of Others

Even when you can’t choose who you’re around, for example, in a work setting, you can still influence what you absorb. Instead of stewing over someone else’s negative behavior or talking about it with others, minimize your engagement.

But there’s another option, too: try to influence their output. Model positive behavior. Shift the energy in a conversation. Sometimes, your state can be strong enough to lift theirs, flipping the dynamic completely.

Power Begets Power

If you want to lead, build, grow, create, or inspire, your power starts with what you allow into your mind and heart.

Your input becomes your output. And your output affects everything.

So don’t just protect your energy, fuel it intentionally.

Because when you’re powerful, the people around you become more powerful too.

Steven Gaffney, CEO of the Steven Gaffney Company, is a leading expert in honest communication, leadership alignment, and building consistently high-achieving organizations. Over nearly 30 years, he has advised top executives and leadership teams across Fortune 500 companies, major associations, and government agencies—including 35 organizations ranked #1 or #2 in their industries. His work consistently drives measurable improvements in team achievement, innovation, and organizational culture. He is the author of Unconditional Power: Thriving in Any Situation, No Matter How Frustrating, Complex, or Unpredictable (Rivertown Books, Sept. 9, 2024). Learn more at stevengaffney.com.

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9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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