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You Shouldn’t Buy Anything To Drastically Improve Your Life: Here’s Why.

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Feeling low? Think a new purchase is the answer to drastically improve your life? Buying something has never been the answer for me.

What you need to drastically improve your life is free. You don’t need to buy a damn thing. Purchasing is good for the economy, but it’s not what you need.

Getting to the realization that you have to drastically improve your life has likely come from one of the following:

  • You’ve failed
  • You’re in a dark place
  • You may have experienced a tragedy like the loss of a family member

None of these challenges can be fixed with a few fifty dollar bills that have a dead presidents face on it. Sorry.

Drastic change starts with you. The way out of a difficult place is found through working on yourself via free resources that you have available to you.

Here are some recommendations to drastically improve your life that are free:


1. Spend time with your family

Family puts things in perspective. They won’t be there forever and neither will you.

Spending time with family helps you see what’s important and that’s a crucial first step to drastically changing your life. What’s important for most of us?

  • Family
  • Our health
  • How we think about ourselves

Again, knowing what’s important is free. It’s a conversation with yourself and it won’t be charged by the hour like a lawyer.

When you know what’s important, you can prioritize what you need to do to drastically change your life while keeping these important factors front and center.


2. Go to a park that’s far away

A clear head is a must for drastically changing your life, not a new Gucci Watch.

Parks are a place to sit and contemplate life. Being out in nature and away from artificial light, polluted indoor air, your computer/iPad/phone is an environment where clear thinking can take place.

Clear thoughts need nature to help bring them out. Choose a park that’s far away. Go to one that has a view or a mountain or a beautiful lake. These are the places where the life-changing thoughts happen.

I drastically changed my life a few years ago when I was out walking through a park and listening to an audio tape. It was the combination of clear skies, clean air, nature, some wise words from a man named Tony coming out of my earphones and pure silence that helped me have that one thought that would drastically change my life.

That one thought was this:

“What if everything you thought about life was wrong and you could actually do whatever you put your mind to? What if nothing was impossible?”

All of this came from parks and nature. Try it.


3. Take a week off

This tip is free assuming you use annual leave or sick leave. If you have to use some of your savings money, then that’s okay.

“I spent one part of my career working for seven years straight with not a single holiday”

I was always stuck in the daily grind and I couldn’t see beyond it. I too thought I had to work harder so I could buy that one thing that would drastically change my life. None of the purchases this lifestyle gave me changed my life or anyone else’s.

Taking a week off and creating space is where you can do more of that delicious, chocolate coated thinking I spoke about earlier. It’s thinking, reflection and nothingness that brings about all the drastic change.

If I were to give you one hack it would be this:

“Do whatever creates the perfect environment for thinking to occur”

A week off will definitely be one of the ingredients. Some hot showers, reading, meditation and yoga could all be used as tools during this week to cultivate crystal clear thoughts.

Being out of the madness is how you find your way through it.

Transformational change can only follow clear thinking.


4. Write down what you’ve achieved in the last 12 months

Also free and a way to cultivate change.

It can feel at times like you’re a complete failure and you’ve achieved nothing. That’s until you book an appointment with yourself and write down what you’ve achieved. I wrote down what I’d achieved in the form of a list of fears I’d overcome.

In a two year period, I had more than 100 examples of fears I’d overcame.

I thought at the time I’d achieved nothing and that’s because my million-year-old brain had flat out forgotten all the good stuff. It was by writing down what I’d achieved through crushing fears that I was reunited with my inner strength and my ability to make difficult decisions.

When you look back, you’ve done some awesome things. Take the time to do this exercise and remember that. Once you know what you can do, you can then have the strength to make drastic changes in your life and turn things around.


5. Make friends with one new person

Making friends is free although it can be uncomfortable. Drastically changing your life is uncomfortable too so starting the process by making one new friend is a good omen.

Making a new friend usually involves putting yourself in a different environment. Attend a public speaking event, go to work drinks, attend a business event or go to a sporting event.

Every friendship I’ve ever had has started out by me saying hello and smiling. New friends allow you to hear different stories, witness different cultures and hear new ideas or beliefs.

When I drastically changed my life I made one new friend at an event I attended. We were both sitting next to each other at a seminar and I started out by saying “What do you do for work?”

At the time we were both working in banking, so our friendship quickly grew. He became a coach for me during a very difficult time of uncertainty and radical change. I’d ring him up once a week and talk to him about what I was facing into. He’d do the same with me.

It was only a few minutes a week and the friendship came about over the course of about 60 minutes. Not complicated, it cost nothing and it happened quickly.

This one new friend challenged me to overcome one fear: walking on fire.

Being burned as a kid made me scared to touch anything hot. We both faced this fear together one night and overcame it. This one night became the catalyst for everything that happened later.

Adding one new friend can drastically improve your life.


Final Thought.

Change or radical shifts do not need money.

Thinking you need money to solve every problem in your life is what’s holding you back. Don’t let money stop you from making drastic changes.

All change begins with you and that’s free.

Success Advice

10 Creative Ways to Recognize Top Employees for Their Hard Work

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Some employees have a knack for making everyone’s working day a little easier. They’re the ones who find solutions when projects go wrong, help struggling colleagues, and put extra thought into everything they do.

But how do you recognize their efforts in a way that feels genuinely special?

The usual employee recognition ideas, such as gift cards and thank-you emails, certainly have their place. However, if someone has made an exceptional contribution, why not do something a little different?

Creative employee recognition is about making people feel seen as individuals. A thoughtful surprise, an unusual award, or an experience tailored to their interests can leave a lasting impression.

If you’re looking for something beyond the standard Employee of the Month certificate, here are ten ideas worth trying.

1. Create a Mini Workplace Hall of Fame

Why should sports stars and celebrities have all the fun?

Turn a corner of your office into a mini Hall of Fame celebrating employees who have made outstanding contributions. Give each honoree a framed photograph, a short description of their achievements, and perhaps a fun fact about their personality.

You could even organize a small unveiling ceremony, complete with a red carpet and a few words from their colleagues. Keep the display updated throughout the year so different employees have their chance in the spotlight.

For remote teams, create a digital Hall of Fame on your company’s internal website.

2. Design a One-of-a-Kind Achievement Award

Forget the standard trophy with someone’s name engraved underneath. Why not create an award that reflects what makes an employee special?

  • For instance, someone who always finds solutions to difficult problems could receive a “Master of Making Things Work” award.
  • An employee who keeps everyone calm during stressful projects might appreciate a “Coolest Head in the Office” award.

Make the presentation memorable, too. Invite colleagues to share stories about the recipient before revealing their award. Personalized keepsakes can make these occasions particularly meaningful. An award that reflects a specific accomplishment is something employees can proudly display for years.

3. Treat Them to a Mystery Experience Day

Some of the best rewards aren’t things you can put on a shelf. Instead of another gift voucher, arrange a surprise experience based on the employee’s interests.

For someone who loves cooking, this might mean a pasta-making workshop. An adventurous colleague could enjoy an indoor climbing session, while a creative employee might appreciate a pottery class.

Give them a mysterious invitation with a few clues about what’s planned. Of course, check their availability and comfort level beforehand. The activity should be a pleasant surprise, not an unwanted obligation.

4. Create a Personalized Career Time Capsule

Imagine receiving a box filled with reminders of your proudest work moments. A career time capsule is a thoughtful way to recognize someone who has reached a major milestone or completed an exceptional project.

Fill a keepsake box with photographs, memorable project notes, funny workplace moments, and handwritten messages from colleagues. Present the box during a team gathering and invite the employee to revisit some of their favorite memories.

This is especially meaningful for long-serving employees whose contributions span several years.

5. Celebrate Their Success With a Dazzling 3D Crystal Award

Some achievements deserve more than a traditional trophy or a printed certificate. For employees who have gone above and beyond, a personalized 3D crystal award can turn their proudest professional moment into a beautiful keepsake.

Beyond Memories offers crystal awards featuring intricate laser engravings inside the glass. These can be personalized with an employee’s name, a photograph, a company logo, or details of their achievement.

Imagine surprising your top salesperson with a crystal commemorating their biggest success, or presenting a retiring colleague with an engraved keepsake celebrating years of dedication.

You could even arrange a special presentation ceremony, inviting colleagues to share a few words about the recipient before revealing the award.

Unlike a certificate that might end up tucked away in a drawer, an elegant crystal award can take pride of place on an employee’s desk or at home, serving as a lasting reminder of their hard work.

6. Name Something in the Office After Them

Here’s an idea that can get the whole workplace talking. Temporarily name something in the office after an outstanding employee. It could be a meeting room, the office coffee station, or even a popular lunchtime spot.

Imagine walking into work and discovering that the usual conference room has become “The Sarah Innovation Suite” in recognition of a brilliant project. Add a small plaque explaining the achievement behind the name.

Keep the tribute lighthearted and relevant to the employee. Someone who dislikes being the centre of attention might prefer a smaller, more discreet gesture.

To make the gesture even more memorable, you could pair the temporary room-naming privilege with a personalized crystal award from Beyond Memory, engraved with the employee’s name and their honorary room title. That way, even when the meeting room returns to its usual name, they’ll have a keepsake to remember the recognition.

7. Give Them a Passion Project Day

Your best employees may have brilliant ideas that never quite make it onto their regular to-do lists.

Reward their hard work by giving them a paid day to pursue a professional passion project. Perhaps someone wants to redesign an outdated internal process, experiment with a new creative approach, or develop a resource that would help colleagues.

Let them choose a project and provide the tools they need. At the end of the day, invite them to share what they’ve created, without turning the experience into another performance assessment.

The reward lies in having the freedom to pursue something interesting.

8. Let Them Design the Ultimate Team Outing

Rather than choosing another predictable team-building activity, hand the planning over to your star employee.

Give them a reasonable budget and invite them to organize an outing everyone can enjoy. They might choose a cooking competition, an escape room, an afternoon at an arcade, or a relaxed outdoor picnic.

The employee gets to choose an experience that reflects their interests while sharing the occasion with colleagues. Just make sure participation is optional, and the activity is accessible to the team.

9. Create a Personal Achievement Museum

For someone who has delivered an outstanding project, create a temporary exhibition celebrating their work.

Think of it as a miniature museum dedicated to their achievements. Display photographs, early sketches, project milestones, and examples of problems they helped solve. Add small information cards explaining the story behind each item.

You could even organize an informal exhibition opening where colleagues walk around and hear about the employee’s accomplishments. This works particularly well for creative projects, major company milestones, and collaborative achievements where individual contributions might otherwise go unnoticed.

10. Give Them a Golden Ticket

Remember the excitement of finding a golden ticket? Bring a little of that anticipation into the workplace.

Create a special golden ticket that employees can redeem for a reward of their choice. Depending on your budget, options might include an extra paid day off, a professional workshop, a special lunch, or tickets to an event.

Present the ticket inside an envelope or small gift box to make the occasion more memorable. You could even introduce a limited number of golden tickets throughout the year, each recognizing a particularly impressive contribution. The fun is in the presentation, but the reward itself should be worthwhile.

Conclusion: Make Their Hard Work Worth Celebrating

Recognizing outstanding employees doesn’t have to mean handing out the same certificates and gift vouchers year after year. Sometimes, the most memorable gestures come from doing something unexpected.

A personalized achievement museum, a dazzling crystal with their personal details, a surprise experience, or a meeting room temporarily named after a colleague can turn an ordinary workday into a special occasion.

The trick is to think about the individual. What would genuinely make them smile? Which achievement are they proudest of? Would they enjoy a public celebration or something more personal?

Start with those questions, then choose a reward that fits. After all, when someone puts extraordinary effort into their work, a little imagination can go a long way in showing just how much that effort is appreciated.

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Success Advice

How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Resting and Taking Time for Yourself

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Have you ever sat down to relax, only to find yourself thinking about everything you should be doing instead? Maybe laundry is waiting, an assignment is unfinished, or your inbox is growing. Suddenly, taking a break feels like something you need to justify.

For many people, rest comes with an uncomfortable sense of guilt. We’re often encouraged to stay busy, achieve more, and make every minute count. It’s easy to start believing that time spent doing nothing is time wasted.

But constantly pushing yourself isn’t the only way to build a meaningful, successful life. Learning to rest without guilt means changing how you think about productivity, setting healthier boundaries, and making room for your own needs.

Here’s where to start.

Understand Why You Feel Guilty About Resting

Before you can change your relationship with rest, it helps to understand where the guilt comes from.

Perhaps you grew up in a household where being busy was praised, or you’ve spent years working in environments that reward long hours. Social media can add to that pressure, with endless posts about early mornings, ambitious goals, and packed schedules.

Over time, you might start measuring your personal worth by how much you accomplish.

Pay attention to the thoughts that appear when you take a break. Do you tell yourself you’re lazy? Do you worry that other people are working harder than you?

Try asking yourself where those expectations came from and whether they’re actually reasonable.

Recognizing these patterns won’t automatically remove the guilt, but it gives you a chance to question it instead of accepting it.

Stop Treating Rest as Something You Have to Earn

One of the biggest obstacles to guilt-free rest is believing you must finish everything before you’re allowed to relax.

The problem? There’s almost always something else to do.

Your inbox will receive more messages. Household chores will return tomorrow. Even after completing an important project, another responsibility will probably take its place.

If you only rest when everything is finished, you may rarely give yourself permission to stop. Instead, start treating rest as a normal part of your day. You can practice this by:

  • Taking a lunch break without working through it.
  • Setting a reasonable time to finish work or studying.
  • Allowing yourself a quiet evening without planning something productive.
  • Scheduling free time alongside your other commitments.
  • Taking short breaks before you feel completely exhausted.

You don’t need to justify every moment of downtime.

And remember, resting doesn’t have to involve doing absolutely nothing. Reading, listening to music, or spending time with someone you love can be just as meaningful as sitting quietly.

Create a Comfortable Space Where You Can Switch Off

Your surroundings can influence how easily you settle into a restful routine.

If your bedroom doubles as your office, study area, and storage space, it may be difficult to mentally separate work from relaxation.

Creating a calmer environment doesn’t require an expensive makeover. Small changes can make your space feel more welcoming.

Start by clearing unnecessary clutter from your bedside table, putting away work materials, and choosing softer lighting in the evening.

Your bedding matters, too. Comfortable sheets and a clean duvet cover can make getting into bed something to look forward to. For example, someone decorating a college dorm could choose coordinated sheets and duvet covers, all from Doze Bedding, to create a more inviting place to unwind after classes.

You could also establish a simple evening ritual, such as changing into comfortable clothes, putting your phone away, and reading for a few minutes.

The point isn’t to create a picture-perfect bedroom. It’s to give yourself somewhere that feels separate from the demands of the day.

Set Boundaries Without Feeling Like You’re Letting People Down

Sometimes, guilt about resting comes from worrying about disappointing other people. You might feel obligated to answer messages immediately, accept every invitation, or help whenever someone asks.

Being considerate is important, but constantly putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own can leave little time for recovery.

Start by recognizing which commitments are necessary and which ones you’ve accepted out of habit. If someone asks for a favor when you’re already overwhelmed, it’s reasonable to explain that you don’t have the capacity.

You don’t need a complicated excuse. A simple response such as “I can’t manage that today” is enough.

It may feel uncomfortable initially, especially if you’re used to saying yes. Remember that setting boundaries isn’t about ignoring your responsibilities. It’s about recognizing your limits and communicating them clearly.

Find Ways to Rest That Actually Work for You

Rest looks different for everyone.

Some people enjoy spending an afternoon reading, while others feel refreshed after taking a walk or working on a creative hobby.

The important thing is recognizing what helps you feel relaxed rather than what you think relaxation should look like.

Consider trying different activities:

  • Physical Rest: Taking a nap when appropriate, getting enough sleep, or enjoying a quiet evening.
  • Mental Rest: Stepping away from demanding tasks and reducing unnecessary distractions.
  • Social Rest: Spending time alone or with people who don’t drain your energy.
  • Creative Rest: Listening to music, enjoying nature, or doing something purely for pleasure.

You might also notice that certain activities leave you feeling more tired.

For example, scrolling through social media for an hour may not provide the same sense of relaxation as reading or taking a peaceful walk.

Pay attention to how you feel afterward and adjust your routine accordingly. Rest should support your well-being, not become another activity you feel pressured to perfect.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to stop feeling guilty about resting takes practice, particularly if you’ve spent years associating success with constant activity.

Start by questioning the expectations you’ve placed on yourself. Make time for activities you enjoy, create a comfortable environment, and establish boundaries that protect your personal time.

Most importantly, remember that taking a break doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned your goals.

You can be ambitious, responsible, and hardworking while still making room for quiet moments.

The next time you feel guilty about sitting down with a book or spending an evening doing very little, resist the urge to fill that time immediately.

Give yourself permission to enjoy it.

A fulfilling life isn’t measured only by what you accomplish. It’s also shaped by the moments you allow yourself to appreciate along the way.

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Success Advice

How to Network When You’re Nervous and Hate Walking Up to Strangers

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How to network when you’re nervous starts with accepting that the nerves are normal and planning around them instead of waiting for them to disappear. Go in with a small goal, like introducing yourself to two people, ask curious questions instead of trying to impress, and remember that the sweaty hands and shaky voice are far less obvious to everyone else than they feel to you. Then build your network in circles, so you’re not relying on one nerve-racking room to change your career.

Terence Mauri - 5 Awesome Hacks For Startup Success

This came up in my conversation with startup mentor Terence Mauri, a coach who works with ambitious leaders around the world. We’d been talking about how he ended up working with McLaren, the Formula 1 company, and his answer was simple: networking. Then we got onto why something we all did naturally as kids feels so hard as adults.

Funny thing is, Terence and I had a great example of it before we even started recording. We’d been speaking beforehand just to get to know each other, and we had this instant connection. I said I think we’re on the same wavelength. He agreed. That’s what a good introduction looks like. It’s not a pitch. It’s two people finding out they like each other.

Why networking feels harder as an adult

Here’s what I said to Terence, and it’s the whole problem in one picture. When we’re young, we’re kids in the playground, we go up and just introduce ourselves to random other kids, with no shame at all. From a young age we do it. It’s just as we grow older, it’s almost weird to go up and introduce yourself to someone.

Nothing about the skill changed. A kid in the playground doesn’t have better social skills than an adult at a conference. What changed is the story running in the background: what if they think I’m boring, what if I interrupt, what if I’ve got nothing to offer?

Terence put a name on it straight away. “It’s that self-imposter syndrome where you put everybody else on a pedestal and you allow that inner critic to sabotage” you, he said. The other person becomes more important, more successful and more interesting than you in your head, and suddenly saying hello feels like asking for a favor.

The good news is that the playground version of you hasn’t gone anywhere. The skill is still there under the self-consciousness. You don’t need to learn how to connect with people from scratch. You need to stop putting them on a pedestal long enough to say hello, ask a question and find out whether you’re on the same wavelength. Most of the time, the other person is quietly hoping someone will make the first move.

The sweaty hands and the Smurf voice

Terence didn’t pretend he was above it. He talked about the fear of speaking to others and said, “I know I’ve had it.” Then he described it perfectly: “It’s when your hands go sweaty, your knees shake, the pitch of your voice can go up and make you sound like a Smurf.” And hopefully, he added, all of it doesn’t happen at once.

I laughed and said that would just freak everyone out. But that moment matters, because it shows something people forget. Even someone who coaches ambitious leaders around the world gets the shaky voice. Nervous doesn’t mean you’re bad at this. It means you care about the outcome.

Terence also threw out a big number, that around 90% of people deal with this fear at some point. I couldn’t find a solid source for that figure, so I’m leaving it out. Here’s one that is solid. The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 7.1% of U.S. adults had social anxiety disorder in the past year, and about 12.1% experience it at some point in their lives. That’s the clinical end of the scale. Everyday nerves at a networking event are far more common than that, and if your anxiety is stopping you from living your life, it’s worth talking to a professional.

Nobody notices your nerves as much as you do

There’s good research on why the sweaty hands feel so loud. Psychologists at Cornell, led by Thomas Gilovich, called it the spotlight effect: we consistently overestimate how much other people notice about us. In one well-known study, students wearing an embarrassing T-shirt into a room guessed that about half the people there noticed it. In reality it was closer to a quarter.

The same team also described the illusion of transparency, the feeling that your nerves are written all over your face when people mostly can’t see them. A related line of research on first conversations found something researchers called the liking gap: after talking with someone new, people tend to underestimate how much the other person liked them.

Put those together and the voice in your head is wrong on three counts. People notice your nerves less than you think, they can see them less than you think, and they probably liked you more than you think. The Smurf voice is mostly a private experience.

Build three circles of contacts, not one big room

This is where Terence’s framework helps nervous people the most. He calls it growing your posse, and he says everybody needs three kinds.

  • A personal posse: your friends and family, the people closest to you, who give you emotional support.
  • An operational posse: the people you work with day to day.
  • A big ideas crowd: people you may not know personally but who should be on your radar, because they give you access to new information, new knowledge and new opportunity.

Why does this help if you’re nervous? Because it stops networking being one terrifying event. Your personal circle is already there. Your operational circle grows every time you do your job well and stay in touch. Only the third circle involves strangers, and even then, a lot of it can start with reading someone’s work, following them and sending a thoughtful message before you ever meet in a room.

Terence calls the result an intelligence network and says it’s “absolutely key.” It’s also, in his words, “relationship capital that we are in control of.” He thinks everybody should have a very clear plan to network intelligently and keep growing those ties around the world. “We’re all hardwired to connect,” he said.

I agreed with him on the spot. It’s like strength in numbers, right? Link with people, collaborate, and you become more powerful.

Start with warm introductions from people who already know you

If walking up to strangers is the hardest part, don’t start there. Your personal and operational circles are full of people who already trust you, and each of them knows people you don’t.

A warm introduction changes the whole feel of a first conversation. Instead of “who are you and why are you talking to me,” it starts with “a friend of ours said we should meet.” The pressure drops for both of you. Ask one person in your circle a week who they think you should know, and why. Be specific about what you’re working on, so they can picture the right person.

This is also where your nerves can work for you. Nervous people tend to prepare. They read up on the person, think about what they could offer and show up with real questions. That’s a better first impression than a confident person winging it with a business card.

Use the big ideas crowd before you meet in a room

Terence’s third circle, the big ideas crowd, is people who should be on your radar even if you don’t know them personally. For a nervous networker, that’s good news, because you can start building those relationships long before you ever shake hands.

Read what they publish. Share it with a genuine comment. Reply with a thoughtful question rather than a pitch. When you do finally meet them at an event, you’re not a stranger anymore. You’re the person who asked that good question about their last talk. That’s a much easier opener than “so, what do you do?”

Terence also pointed to Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In as a book he recommends partly for “the power of networking and growing your posse.” Whatever you read, the principle is the same: relationships compound, and the early, awkward ones are what make the later, easier ones possible.

What to do when your mind goes blank

Everyone has had the moment where you walk up to someone, say your name and then nothing comes. It feels huge. It usually isn’t.

Keep two or three easy questions in your back pocket: what brought you here, what are you working on right now, what’s been the best part of the event so far. Questions take the spotlight off you and put it on the other person, which is exactly where nervous people want it. If you lose your train of thought, say so with a smile. “Sorry, I completely lost my thread” is human, and most people warm to it.

How networking got Terence inside McLaren

When I asked Terence about his standout boardroom moment, he didn’t have to think. It was McLaren. He described a business built on excellence and a disregard for the status quo, down to a building designed to promote focus, concentration and collaboration between departments.

“The caliber of the individuals was so high,” he said, and the appetite to grow and succeed “was infectious.” He described the McLaren chairman, Ron Dennis, as absolutely obsessed with perfection.

And how did he get in that room? “It’s through the networking,” he said. “It was really through growing the posse.” Not a cold pitch, not a lucky break. Years of building relationships across those three circles until one of them opened a door he couldn’t have opened on his own.

That’s worth holding onto when the nerves hit. The conversation you’re dreading might feel small. You won’t know which introduction leads to your McLaren moment, which is exactly why it’s worth making a lot of them.

How to network when you’re nervous: practical moves

None of this means you have to become the loudest person in the room. A few simple moves make a big difference:

  1. Set a small, specific goal before you arrive, like meeting two new people or asking one good question.
  2. Prepare one simple opener: your name, what you do in a sentence and a question back.
  3. Ask curious questions and listen. People rarely remember your pitch, but they remember feeling interesting.
  4. Look for people standing alone or in small groups. They’re often just as relieved as you are when someone says hello.
  5. Breathe slowly before you walk in. It won’t remove the nerves, but it takes the edge off the shaky voice.
  6. Follow up within a day or two with something specific from the conversation.
  7. Afterward, write down what actually went well, not just the awkward bits your inner critic replays.

Notice that none of these need you to feel confident first. They work while you’re nervous. Confidence comes after you’ve done it a few times, not before. There’s a difference between real confidence and putting on a show, and I’ve written about confidence vs ego before. Earned confidence comes from reps, and networking is no different.

Turn down the inner critic, then act anyway

Terence’s view is that the inner critic doesn’t fully go away, it just loses its grip when you stop letting it make your decisions. He has a Finnish word he loves for this, sisu, which he describes as resilience and grit, “the ability to face that angry bear outside your door.” For a nervous networker, that bear is usually self-doubt and the fear of looking silly.

Take the pedestal away first. The person you’re scared to approach probably felt the same way at their first event. Their success doesn’t make them less human, and it doesn’t make you less worth talking to.

Then keep the rest of your energy for the work that matters. Networking is part of the job, not the whole job, and it fits best around a clear plan for how to stay focused as an entrepreneur.

When I asked Terence for his last 30 seconds of advice to the world, part of what he said was “transcend your fears, and do it now.” That’s the whole idea in one line. You don’t wait to stop being nervous. You go and say hello while you still are.

FAQ

How do you network when you’re nervous?

Set a small goal, prepare one simple opener and focus on asking curious questions instead of impressing people. Accept the nerves as normal; most people notice them far less than you think.

Is it normal to feel anxious at networking events?

Yes. Nerves at events are very common. NIMH estimates 7.1% of U.S. adults had social anxiety disorder in the past year, and everyday nervousness is far more widespread. If anxiety limits your life, talk to a professional.

How can introverts network without burning out?

Build relationships in circles: lean on your personal and work contacts, then add a few new people at a time. Set a clear goal, take breaks and follow up one-to-one, where introverts often shine.

What is the spotlight effect?

The spotlight effect is our tendency to overestimate how much other people notice our appearance and behavior. Research led by Cornell psychologist Thomas Gilovich found people think they’re noticed far more than they really are.

What should I say when I introduce myself at an event?

Keep it short: your name, what you do in one sentence and a question about them. Something simple like asking what brought them there works because it hands the conversation back.

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Success Advice

How to Stay Focused as an Entrepreneur When Everything Wants Your Attention

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How to stay focused as an entrepreneur comes down to protecting a small number of minutes from a huge number of interruptions. Startup mentor Terence Mauri puts it simply: an 8-hour workday is only 480 minutes, and if you get interrupted (or interrupt yourself) every five minutes, that’s 96 interruptions a day. Get clear on why you’re building, plan backwards from the result, stop waiting for perfect and guard your attention like it’s the scarcest thing in the business, because it is.

Terence Mauri - 5 Awesome Hacks For Startup Success

Terence is a coach and startup mentor who works with ambitious leaders around the world. He spent his first career in advertising with major brands, did an MBA at a crossroads, then moved into coaching and mentoring. When I asked him what the problem area is for most startup entrepreneurs when he first meets them, he didn’t say money or marketing. He said focus.

“I think there’s an unprecedented level of distraction, which makes it very difficult to stay focused on what really matters,” he told me. He calls focus “a hidden driver of entrepreneurial success.” I’ve thought about that line a lot since.

The 96 interruptions you don’t notice

Terence’s math is the kind that makes you put your phone face down. In those 480 minutes you have to prioritize, deal with emails, phone calls, meetings and interruptions. One interruption every five minutes works out to 96 a day. “You can see very easily that it would be very difficult to really focus and get things done if you’re constantly being distracted,” he said.

When he explained that to me, I was going through my head like, what did I do today? And when I really sat back and thought about it, I was distracted by emails coming in, messages coming up on my phone, Facebook. I’d go into Facebook to look for one thing, maybe a picture I needed, and the next thing I’d got a notification or a message. It’s so distracting, right?

That’s the honest version for most of us. Nobody plans to lose the morning. You just open one app for one reason and come out 20 minutes later with nothing done.

The fix starts with seeing it. For one day, keep a tally every time you switch away from the thing you meant to be doing, including the times you interrupt yourself. The number is usually higher than you think. You can’t protect your focus until you know where it’s leaking.

Too much information, not enough attention

Terence pointed to the economist and cognitive scientist Herbert Simon, who won the Nobel prize and famously wrote that “a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.” Terence’s version was “too much information leads to a poverty of attention,” and his point was that there’s a battle for our attention going on. I told him that quote was going to stick with me, and it has.

His bigger point was about ideas. “It’s good to come up with ideas, but it’s about really then implementing the idea and sustaining the idea,” he said. That’s where distraction does the real damage. It doesn’t stop you having ideas. It stops you finishing them.

I’ve written before about being addicted to information instead of execution, and this is the same trap from another angle. Every new podcast, post and notification feels like progress. Most of it is just more input competing for the attention you need to execute.

Start with your why, because you only get about 960 months

When I asked Terence what he’d tell someone stepping into personal development, he gave me a three-point plan. Number one was purpose: be very clear about who you are, what your values are, what your mission is and what excites you. That clarity, he said, gives you the energy and the fuel to spark all sorts of opportunities.

Then he hit me with the numbers. “I’m a numbers man,” he said, “and I’ve worked out that if we’re lucky, we have 960 months to live.” That’s 80 years. By his estimate we sleep for about 300 of those months. “I can see everybody now just like quitting their jobs and going traveling around the world,” he joked, but the point was serious. Time is limited, and you can use that to force clarity on what you want from your months.

This is basically memento mori for founders. When you genuinely remember the clock is running, it gets a lot easier to say no to the stuff that doesn’t matter. Focus isn’t only about blocking distractions. It’s about knowing what you’re saying yes to.

Plan backwards, then beat your inner perfectionist

Terence’s second point was to think backwards. Begin with the end in mind, then plan back from it and work out what success specifically looks like along a timeline. “Break it down, break it down, simplify it, and create a plan,” he said.

His third point was the one he called most important: overcome your inner perfectionist. “Everyone has this inner perfectionist which will keep stopping you from doing what you should have done yesterday and the day before,” he said. “The world will never be perfect, so you’ve almost got to get started.”

My reaction was pretty blunt. Get your butt in gear. Start getting addicted to success. Perfectionism looks like high standards, but most of the time it’s just a polished reason to not start. And when you’re not working on the real thing, you’re far easier to distract.

Clarity of focus: one thing, done well

When I asked Terence what takes a startup from good to great, he said speed, and he tied it straight back to focus. He pointed to companies like Airbnb, Uber and WhatsApp as examples of speed to market, fast execution and clarity of focus. “They all say they only want to do one thing and do it well,” he said.

He told me Airbnb’s Brian Chesky kept his strategy on half a page of A4 paper. I can’t confirm that detail, but the principle is strong. If your strategy doesn’t fit on half a page, you probably have too many priorities, and too many priorities is just distraction with a business plan.

He also told the story of how Uber’s founders were frustrated waiting for a taxi in Paris and decided it wasn’t good enough. A problem, turned into a solution, then executed fast. I said those companies all seem to disrupt their industry. So look at what you’re doing and ask how much impact you’re really going to have in the industry you’re playing in.

Learn faster, fail smarter, risk braver

When I asked what separates a losing entrepreneur from a successful one, Terence named two things. The first was passionate curiosity: having a point of view on trends that are exciting and trends that are threatening, and taking intelligent risks.

“One of the pieces of advice I give to entrepreneurs is really we’ve got to learn faster and fail smarter,” he said. “I’d add to that we need to risk braver.” Paired with that is the discipline to execute ruthlessly. Curiosity without focus is just browsing. Curiosity with focus becomes a product.

Sisu: the grit to face the angry bear

The second thing Terence named was the ability to deal with setbacks. He came across a Finnish word while working in Finland: sisu. It means resilience and grit. He described it as “the ability to face that angry bear outside your door,” whether that bear is your competition, your own fears, self-doubt or failure.

I loved that. Sisu. “We need more sisu in our lives,” Terence said, “so that we grow through that adversity rather than let it defeat us.”

When I asked how entrepreneurs build that kind of courage, he pointed to Jan Koum, the co-founder of WhatsApp. Koum left Ukraine as a teenager with his mother, and the family relied on food stamps. His mother later died of cancer. He went on to co-found WhatsApp, and when Facebook bought it for about $19 billion, he signed the papers outside the social services office where he used to collect food stamps. Terence said Koum’s story is about taking productive pauses, reflecting and remembering you can take strength from hard times.

Terence also told me about his late grandfather from Italy, who’d been through two world wars and sustained injuries but still got back up, stayed in the moment and stayed generous and kind. “In life we all have to face our own Everest,” Terence said. Another mentor of his had a favorite saying: “We’ve got to eat problems for breakfast.” I asked if he told him that in Italian. He did, Terence said, and then they ate croissants and sipped cappuccino.

Why does this belong in a piece about focus? Because setbacks are the biggest distraction of all. A bad week can pull your attention for a month if you let it. Sisu is what gets you back to the work.

Keep thinking like a startup as you grow

When I asked what startups waste their time on, Terence talked about processes that go stale. Going from a hundred people to a thousand means refreshing your processes, systems and policies, getting rid of some and replacing them. Most companies don’t. “What defines their success at the beginning can become a very damaging Achilles heel later on,” he said.

I once heard Tony Hsieh, the late Zappos CEO, put it as the bigger the ship, the harder it is to steer. I’d rather have a jet ski or a small speedboat I can turn quickly. Big isn’t always best. You want to move quick and adapt to the changes around you.

Terence pointed to Blockbuster and Kodak as lessons in not listening to the market and not changing enough. “If you put your head in the sand, this is what happens,” he said. I threw MySpace in there too. Every outdated process is one more thing pulling attention away from the work that actually matters now.

Grow your posse so you’re not carrying it alone

Terence credits his networking for some of his best work, including time spent inside McLaren, the Formula 1 company, where he said even the building was designed to promote focus and collaboration. He calls it growing your posse, and he says everybody needs three kinds:

  • A personal posse: friends and family who give you emotional support.
  • An operational posse: the people you work with day to day.
  • A big ideas crowd: people you may not know personally but who should be on your radar, because they bring new information, knowledge and opportunity.

I said it’s like strength in numbers. Link with people, collaborate, and you become more powerful. When we’re kids in the playground, we go up and introduce ourselves to random kids with no shame at all. As we get older, it almost feels weird to do it. Terence called that the inner critic at work. Your posse helps you focus too, because the right people pull you back to the important stuff when you drift.

Think 10x, not 10%

Terence talked about moonshot or 10x thinking, which he associated with Google. Most people chase a 10% or 15% improvement, he said, and that kind of thinking is status quo driven and consensus driven. It’s imitating, not disrupting. 10x thinking asks what you could do to make something dramatically better. I’d had Grant Cardone on the show not long before, and his book The 10X Rule is all about this.

Here’s how that connects to focus. You can’t think 10x while answering 96 interruptions. Big thinking needs uninterrupted time.

Read for strategy, not just inspiration

When I asked for his cornerstone books, Terence said anyone who wants to keep growing has to be a fast learner and go for breadth and depth. His first pick was Good Strategy, Bad Strategy by Richard Rumelt, which he said is about being more strategic and focusing on prevention, “not just being on the back foot every day.” He also recommended Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg for networking and growing your posse, and All In by Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton for staying energized and delivering on your promises.

That first one is the focus book in disguise. Reacting all day is the opposite of focus. Strategy is deciding in advance what you’ll ignore.

How to stay focused as an entrepreneur: a checklist

  1. Track one day of interruptions, including the ones you cause yourself.
  2. Write your purpose and values in a few lines you can actually remember.
  3. Count the months, then decide what you want them to represent.
  4. Plan backwards from the result and break it into steps.
  5. Fit your strategy on half a page and cut what doesn’t belong.
  6. Ship before it’s perfect, then improve it.
  7. Expect the angry bear and decide in advance how you’ll get back to work.
  8. Refresh processes as you grow so old systems don’t eat your attention.

FAQ

How do you stay focused as an entrepreneur?

Protect your time from interruptions, get clear on your purpose, plan backwards from the result and start before things are perfect. Terence Mauri calls focus a hidden driver of entrepreneurial success.

How many interruptions does the average workday have?

It varies by person. Terence Mauri’s illustration is that an 8-hour day is 480 minutes, so an interruption every five minutes adds up to 96 a day, which makes deep work almost impossible.

What does sisu mean?

Sisu is a Finnish word for resilience, grit and determination. Terence Mauri describes it as the ability to face the angry bear outside your door, whether that’s competition, fear, self-doubt or failure.

Why is perfectionism bad for entrepreneurs?

It stops you from starting and finishing the work that matters. As Terence Mauri puts it, the world will never be perfect, so you have to get started and keep executing.

What is 10x thinking?

10x thinking means aiming for an improvement many times better instead of 10 or 15% better. It pushes you past imitation and status quo thinking toward ideas that can actually disrupt an industry.

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