Personal Development
This Silent Habit Might Be Sabotaging Your Career
Your temper might be costing you more at work than you realize. Here’s why it matters.
You may be the last to know that you’re walking around with a giant chip on your shoulder. Meanwhile, your coworkers are giving you a wide berth.
The anger you carry around is glaringly obvious to them, and they perceive you as hostile, volatile, and someone to avoid. Coworkers may go along with you just to avoid conflict, but behind your back they’ve branded you as a keg of dynamite.
As a result, you’ll find it hard to recruit people to endorse your ideas or agree to collaborate with you on projects.
Perhaps you tend to escalate from zero to sixty whenever any frustration crops up. Or you quickly go over the redline and become irrational in reaction to a perceived injustice, insult, or wrongdoing.
In either case, it’s certain that, as a consequence, your performance tanks. You become agitated and can’t concentrate.
These oversized reactions to minor provocations that send you over the top don’t bode well if you’re hoping to stay with the company, let alone rise within it.
Here’s the important message:
Anger itself isn’t the problem. It’s the amount, the volume, the intensity of the anger. And it’s where, when, onto whom, and how it impacts you and others that can interfere with your career.
Many things can contribute to having a quick temper. But there are tools to use in helping you harness your anger. Among them, I advise starting with these:
1. Observe your thoughts
Start with heightening your self-awareness. Pay attention to yourself, how you feel, how you think, how you perceive others and yourself. Notice how people are responding to you.
Become aware of your tone of voice, your word choice, your use of profanity, and your non-verbal accompaniments to your speech, like your facial expressions?
Admittedly, it’s difficult, because, after all, you’re looking outwards at the world, and don’t have a mirror constantly offering your reflection.
But by seeking out feedback, even from yourself, you can improve your self-awareness, and in turn, give yourself the opportunity to improve.
Unless you can identify how you feel, you won’t be able to manage how you feel. The more aware you’re of your emotions, and the better you are at choosing how to act on them (or not), the more you can take command of unharnessed anger.
2. Understand the real problem
Anger itself isn’t the problem. It’s the intensity and how it impacts others. Pretty much everyone under the sun has had to struggle with anger.
It’s just that no one ever communicates that it’s okay to be angry, and it’s totally normal to call it what it is. Not only is it okay, it’s part of being human.
“Anger management” implies that anger is a problem and you have to get rid of it. But no one gets in trouble for being angry. People get in trouble for the stupid things they do when they’re angry.
The higher the level of anger, the harder it is to make good decisions, which makes you more likely to do things that are hurtful to people and yourself.
Think of anger as flame. When things are getting heated and you realize that your anger is escalating, remove yourself. Say that you’re getting another call or you have to go.
This allows you to take a step back and adjust the flame of your anger. Separate, rebalance, then re-engage.
3. Utilize “Hassle Logs.”
Hassle Logs are printable on index cards which can be thrown in your back pocket and filled out after a situation aggravates you. They ask the Who, What, Where, When, Why and How of your dilemma.
By filling them out after the fact, even if you didn’t handle the conflict well, you start to pick up details and trends as to the circumstances of your difficulties.
Of course, filling out an index card doesn’t ensure that you’ll be an insightful person, but at least it will lead you to look at your role in an interaction, rather than just looking at the other parties’.
It’s the difference between looking for an external cause to an issue, versus seeing your role in it. Remember, when you have one finger pointing at someone else, the other fingers are usually pointing back at you.
Instead of letting anger boil over, you can learn to regulate your emotions and not just give into anger at the drop of a hat.
The better you are at being aware of your emotions and of choosing how to act on them (or not), the more personal power you command and transmit. And when it comes to your career, being able to harness your anger will take you far.
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Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
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