Success Advice
I Crushed My Public Speaking Fear And So Can You.

I’ve always been terrified of public speaking. It turns out most people suffer from the same fear.
Then I joined a public speaking group called Toastmasters to try and up my game. The first speech didn’t go well. I stood there with a blank look on my face, trembling from the fear. I was sweating and went bright red like a tomato sauce bottle (I must sound like a real Aussie saying that).
For the next few months, I did two speeches and I got better. Then the momentum stopped altogether.
For the following 6 months, nothing happened in terms of delivering pre-prepared speeches. I did keep doing judging roles and impromptu speaking though. This is where I got some chops. It was the regular habit of ‘doing’ that so many people forget, that helped me.
Then I got dobbed into competing.
Ok, now I was really scared! Signing up for a competition where the environment turns formal – where everyone is looking at you expecting you to be good. I was dobbed into this competition because I was thought to be good at impromptu speaking. I thought I was dreadful.
What helped was that I’ve had a mentor for the last little while. My mentor Bharat recently competed in the international championships for public speaking. To say he’s a son of a gun full of talent is not giving him enough credit.
He told me “Tim you can do it. You have all the content through your blogging. You know how to inspire.”
So stupidly I practiced what I teach all of you and got up there. The hours leading up to the speech involved a very negative situation at work, but somehow I made it on time.
My competition was tough.
“I must be the dumbest bloke on Earth” – at least that’s what I was thinking.
As I waited outside with the other speakers, I realized I was up against a guy who’d made it through every year for the last few years. He’d sold his business, he was a brilliant storyteller, he was very funny, he was better looking: basically, he was everything I thought I wasn’t.
To make it worse, he was talking to me so I couldn’t concentrate on what I was doing.
“I felt the fear and stayed at the battlegrounds of my mind, conquering negative thoughts”
Somehow I remembered to get into a peak state.
Once the guy I was up against went up on stage, I was outside by myself in total silence, waiting for my turn. Somehow I miraculously remembered to get into a peak state.
“I moved my shoulders back, poked my chest out and told myself ‘I am the expert’.”
I told myself “I don’t think, I know. I’ve been doing this for years.”
I repeated in my mind “I inspire people for a living and I’ve been doing that for years” as well.
Showtime with passion.
It was now my turn. I went on stage and was given my topic which was privacy on the Internet. My eyes lit up an immediately I was in flow. I looked at everyone in the audience with a sense of authority. I backed myself!
Then I took a breath and started speaking. I let every ounce of passion show. I spoke loudly and then quietly. I looked at the audience with lots of funny looks.
My speech was about the new iPhone and how people are obsessed with privacy. I made my thoughts clear and challenged everyone to be authentic. I told the audience to stop hiding behind privacy and share their life lessons with people. I acted out what I would look like when I unlock my new phone using my face. I made the audience believe they could be better than they thought they were.
I stood firm on that stage and told myself that it was time to come out of my shell.
“As Joel Brown taught me, you can’t hide behind a bloody computer forever!”
I saw this as my coming out moment.
What’s possible.
So I won the entire competition. I beat the other two international level speakers and made it through. I don’t say this to brag; I tell you this because if I can do it then so can you. We all have dreams and when we take action, they come true.
Here are some tips to crush your public speaking fear:
A) Get them in the first 5 seconds with charisma.
How you start your speech will determine the rest of it. I was told by my mentor that what I did well was capture the audience using charisma in the first five seconds of the speech.
B) Be vulnerable and authentic.
When you share personal stories and tell people things about your own struggles, you make them feel safe – you inspire them. The key I learned is to hold nothing back and share all of the story. Even tell them you’re nervous and suck at public speaking if you have to. That will crush the nerves.
C) Focus on the audience and not on how you look.
An obsession with you and how you look will make you nervous. Focus on delivering one key message that will help your audience. I’ve found this to be the ultimate fear crusher when it comes to public speaking. Imagining how you look or sound will guarantee failure.
D) Dress comfortably and don’t be an actor.
On the day, I wore comfortable clothes and made no extra effort for the occasion when it came to my daily routine. The moment you put that special stuff in your hair or wear a suit, you tell your brain that today is different. You also tell yourself that you are going to be an actor instead of who you really are.
Public speaking is not a stage show and you’re not an actor wearing a mask. Be comfortable.
E) Grab every opportunity you can.
My peers also told me that because I grabbed every speaking opportunity I could, I had put in the hours even though I didn’t do any pre-prepared speeches. In fact, doing impromptu speaking is the hardest way to get good but it’s also the fastest.
Not knowing what you are going to speak about is where all the growth comes from. It takes your focus away from the audience and onto the words coming out of your mouth.
F) Believe in big things.
The whole time I was on stage I believed that I could go all the way to the finals. I told myself that today was only the beginning and tomorrow I will climb the biggest mountain that has scared the pants of me for as long as I can remember.
Focusing on how big your dream can get gives you an added energy boost. You can be world champion if you believe you can.
G) Share your public speaking stories.
As soon as I had won the entire competition, I shared the story on social media. Again, not to brag but to inspire others to do the same. The other reason I shared my story was because it reinforces in my brain that I am enough. Sharing your story gives you momentum to do it all again.
Now I’m ready for the next round of the competition because people sent me inspiring messages after I shared this success. It’s those messages that tell me I am enough.
During the packing up stage of the competition, my public speaking peers told me that they believed I was going to win from the start. The only person that didn’t believe was me. That’s what can be so stupid about having a fear of public speaking. Often, you’re better than you think.
It’s your negative self-talk that’s holding you back. Stop it!
Okay, what I didn’t expect.
Two people that I admire a lot saw the story of my public speaking fear on social media and sent me amazing messages. These are two people that I never believed would look up to silly old me and my crazy looking haircut.
They both speak in front of thousands and have made more money than I could ever dream of. That’s what can happen from public speaking.
Crushing your fears is fun and when you have people you admire telling you to keep going, you can become unstoppable. That’s how I feel right now writing these words.
Finally, some ingredients of a good speech.
Okay so if you want to be good at this whole public speaking game then there are a few really simple ingredients that will help you win:
Use humor.
Use inspiration.
Teach people something with simple steps to follow.
The same also works for blogging. Surprise, surprise!
Now stop being afraid and go and do that thing that you’ve always feared.
Practice being phenomenal. Take action.
If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net
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In workplaces around the world, there’s a growing gap between employers and employees and between superiors and their teams. It’s a common refrain: “People don’t leave companies, they leave bad bosses.”
While there are, of course, cases where management could do better, this isn’t just a “bad boss” problem. The relationship between leaders and employees is complex. Instead of assigning blame, we should explore practical solutions to build stronger, healthier workplaces where everyone thrives.
Why This Gap Exists
Every workplace needs someone to guide, supervise, and provide feedback. That’s essential for productivity and performance. But because there are usually far more employees than managers, dissatisfaction, fair or not, spreads quickly.
What if, instead of focusing on blame, we focused on building trust, empathy, and communication? This is where modern leadership and human-centered management can make a difference.
Tools and Techniques to Bridge the Gap
Here are proven strategies leaders and employees can use to foster stronger relationships and create a workplace where people actually want to stay.
1. Practice Mutual Empathy
Both managers and employees need to recognize they are ultimately on the same team. Leaders have to balance people and performance, and often face intense pressure to hit targets. Employees who understand this reality are more likely to cooperate and problem-solve collaboratively.
2. Maintain Professional Boundaries
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3. Follow the Golden Rule
Treat people how you would like to be treated. This simple principle encourages compassion and respect, two qualities every effective leader must demonstrate.
4. Avoid Micromanagement
Micromanaging stifles creativity and damages morale. Great leaders see themselves as partners, not just bosses, and treat their teams as collaborators working toward a shared goal.
5. Empower Employees to Grow
Empowerment means giving employees responsibility that matches their capacity, and then trusting them to deliver. Encourage them to take calculated risks, learn from mistakes, and problem-solve independently. If something goes wrong, turn it into a learning opportunity, not a reprimand.
6. Communicate in All Directions
Communication shouldn’t just be top-down. Invite feedback, create open channels for suggestions, and genuinely listen to what your people have to say. Healthy upward communication closes gaps before they become conflicts.
7. Overcome Insecurities
Many leaders secretly fear being outshone by younger, more tech-savvy employees. Instead of resisting, embrace the chance to learn from them. Humility earns respect and helps the team innovate faster.
8. Invest in Coaching and Mentorship
True leaders grow other leaders. Provide mentorship, career guidance, and stretch opportunities so employees can develop new skills. Leadership is learned through experience, but guided experience is even more powerful.
9. Eliminate Favoritism
Avoid cliques and office politics. Decisions should be based on facts and fairness, not gossip. Objective, transparent decision-making builds credibility.
10. Recognize Efforts Promptly
Recognition often matters more than rewards. Publicly appreciate employees’ contributions and do so consistently and fairly. A timely “thank you” can be more motivating than a quarterly bonus.
11. Conduct Thoughtful Exit Interviews
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12. Provide Leadership Development
Train managers to lead, not just supervise. Leadership development programs help shift mindsets from “command and control” to “coach and empower.” This transformation has a direct impact on morale and retention.
13. Adopt Soft Leadership Principles
Today’s workforce, largely millennials and Gen Z, value collaboration over hierarchy. Soft leadership focuses on partnership, mutual respect, and shared purpose, rather than rigid top-down control.
The Bigger Picture: HR’s Role
Mercer’s global research highlights five key priorities for organizations:
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Build diverse talent pipelines
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Embrace flexible work models
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Design compelling career paths
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Simplify HR processes
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Redefine the value HR brings
The challenge? Employers and employees often view these priorities differently. Bridging that perception gap is just as important as bridging the relational gap between leaders and staff.
Treat Employees Like Associates, Not Just Staff
When you treat employees like partners, they bring their best selves to work. HR leaders must develop strategies to keep talent engaged, empowered, and prepared for the future.
Organizational success starts with people, always. Build the relationship with your team first, and the results will follow.
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