Success Advice
10 Things Holding You Back And How to Take Control of Them
It’s no secret that we all have far more potential than we could ever imagine. Well, it may be a secret for some. Why is it then, that so many people never get where they want to go in life? Why do so many lack simply being able to visualize what they want their life to look like? It’s because they’ve been held down. We all have things holding us back to some degree and often we’re completely unaware of many of these things. The great thing about being human is that we have the ability to control our circumstances and create change, which is exactly how to break free of the shackles holding you back.
Here are 10 things that can hold you back and how to take back control from them:
1. Dependence
What is a tell-tale sign of someone who is not in control of their life? Dependence. Whether that be dependence on family, friends, or even the government, it is you and only you who is in control of your life. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you reclaim your independence and take back control.
2. Indecisiveness
How many times have you gone to a restaurant, only to be plagued by having to decide on ordering one of the one hundred items on the menu? If you’re like most, chances are you’ll take 15 minutes before making up your mind. Even then, you might still question your decision!
The most successful people in the world make decisions fast. Develop your decision making muscles by being conscious every time you have to make one – think fast and trust your gut.
“The way to develop decisiveness is to start right where you are, with the very next question you face.” – Napoleon Hill
3. Friends & Family
Oftentimes it’s the thing we least suspect that’s holding us back the most. One of the biggest factors of people not succeeding is friends and family. Whether it be their own limiting beliefs, negativity or lack of belief in you, it is critical to distance yourself from anyone or anything that will bring you down. Sometimes you have to be ruthless about this, because you’d rather cut someone out of your life, than be stuck in the hamster wheel forever with them.
4. Lack of Discipline
Will Smith notably stated that “self-discipline is at the centre of any kind of material success in the world” – which I 100% believe to be true. Are you waking up on time? Are you exercising? Are you eating the right foods and going to bed on time? If the answer to any of them is no, then you’re holding yourself back. Fortunately, discipline is transferrable and by taking more control of discipline in one area of your life, you will be able to bring it across to others.
5. Your Phone
On average, people check their phones every 12 minutes, which is quite disturbing when you really think about it. Our phones are perhaps the greatest hindrance of them all, as we have them on us at almost all times.
The fastest and easiest way to take control of your phone usage is to set your intentions. Remind yourself to only use your phone for important tasks, and to turn it off when you don’t need it. The less time you waste on your phone, the more success you’ll be able to achieve.
6. Social Conditioning
Now this one isn’t really our fault – we are all conditioned by society and its expectations from a young age. As our journey of growth continues however, it is necessary to break free from the chains holding us down. It’s far too easy to fall back into these patterns of self-doubt and lack of self-worth that are imposed upon us, which is why it is vital to practice discipline in this area daily. Whether it be through affirmations, visualisation, or meditation, we must only feed our minds with information that will help us grow.
7. Vices
If you’re a human being, then there’s a strong chance you have some kind of vice. Whether it be alcohol, binge watching TV, pornography or excessive eating. These are the things we know are bad, but they somehow continue to draw us in. We become addicted to the dopamine rush the vices provide us, except we’re usually left feeling down and depleted.
I’m a big believer in removing anything in my environment that will hold me back. Whether that be turning the TV off at the power, blocking certain websites or not keeping bad foods in the house. Our willpower is limited, which is why we need to make it as easy as possible to steer clear of our vices.
8. Fear
Some of the biggest fears that most people experience fall into these three categories; fear of failure, fear of rejection and fear of embarrassment. I like to refer to fear as ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’, to which I analyse and make the choice to no longer acknowledge it as real. A great way to break out of certain fears is to remind yourself that one day, you will die – and all those decisions and things you did, or didn’t do, will no longer matter.
“You’ll always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
9. Lack of Awareness
Self-awareness is one of the biggest keys to happiness, purpose, and fulfillment. From my own personal experiences, I realised I lacked awareness for a long time – who I was, what I wanted to do, and what was possible for me. It wasn’t until I began to implement deep work on myself that I began to develop my self-awareness. This truly helped me regain control of my life and see exactly who I was along with who I wanted to be.
See yourself from the outside, looking in. Take a step back and reflect upon your actions, who you are, and what you want to be.
10. Perspective
Perception is reality, for some at least. Everything we experience in our own lives comes down to our perception of it. What often separates those who succeed from those who fail, is their perception. Some perceive failures as the be-all-end-all, while others see it as an opportunity to learn and know what to do next time.
Viktor Frankl, a well-known survivor of the holocaust is someone who we can learn from. Frankl was able to control his perception of everything that was happening, allowing him to remain in as positive a frame of mind as you possibly could in the circumstances he faced.
Your mind is the most powerful thing on earth – and what life boils down to is just that. If you can control your mind, you control your circumstances. There is real power behind positive thinking. Refer back to these 10 tips if you are ever doubting yourself or simply aren’t sure what’s currently holding you back.