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The Subtle Signs You’re Losing Yourself And How to Find Your Way Back

What to do when your inner light dims, even when everything looks good on paper.

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How to reignite your inner light
Image Credit: Midjourney

You did everything “right.” The grades. The jobs. The grind.

You followed the rules and pursued success, maybe even achieved a great version of it. From the outside, your life might look ideal. But now, even with all the boxes checked, something feels… off.  

You’re not burned out, exactly. You’re not angry or ungrateful. But there’s just something inside that’s nagging at you, pulling at you, and won’t leave you alone.

That feeling? It might be your inner light flickering, waiting for you to notice.

You may have had to shut down a part of yourself to make your life work. Sometimes that trade-off is sustainable. But other times, the part we suppress is too essential to who we are. When we mute it, our sense of aliveness dims, too.

I faced this choice years ago. I was in a prestigious law role and, despite carrying six-figure law school debt, I jumped into the unknown.

When people asked why I would ever leave, I instinctively placed my hands over my heart and said, “I felt my light dimming. And I promised I would never let that happen.” 

That isn’t just my story. It’s becoming a cultural one.

According to Gallup’s State of the Global Workplace, only 31 percent of U.S. employees were engaged at work in 2024, the lowest level in a decade.  Globally, engagement dropped to just 21 percent.

This phenomenon, increasingly referred to as “The Great Gloom,” reflects a creeping emotional flatline characterized by widespread disengagement, lower morale, and a growing disconnect between purpose and performance.  

Maybe you’re one of the lucky ones, living in full alignment. For others, perhaps it’s just a glimpse: That presence some people carry. The way they walk into a room, fully intact. Radiant. Magnetic. 

What you’re witnessing is not charisma or confidence. It’s alignment, a state where someone’s energy, values, intuition, and drive are working together, focused in the same direction. 

When you override your alignment too often, when success becomes survival and performing replaces feeling, the cost is cumulative.

So the real question becomes twofold: How do you know when your light is fading? And how might you fight to keep it?

Start noticing what feels off

Sometimes it happens all at once. You wake up and realize you’re succeeding at a version of life that no longer reflects who you are. Other times, it fades slowly. You keep performing, but something in you starts to pull away.

When that feeling surfaces, the instinct is often to figure it out, to define exactly what’s missing before making a change. But you don’t need a perfect definition of what fuels your light to recognize when something is dimming it.

Instead of chasing clarity, start with contrast.

Here’s what that can look like in practice:

Pay attention to moments of emotional dissonance. If something strikes you as absurd, pointless, or deeply unaligned, don’t dismiss that feeling. That discomfort is data.

Example: I realized I couldn’t build my life in a system where someone’s proudest contribution was negotiating an alien invasion clause into a commercial contract.

Observe your physical and emotional response. Misalignment often shows up in subtle ways before you consciously realize something’s wrong. Start by noticing:

  • Are you tired, even after a full night’s sleep?
  • Is your energy scattered or agitated, rather than steady and focused?
  • Are you going through the motions without feeling connected to what you’re doing? 

For me, every minute I spent there after that moment felt like jail. My body knew before I gave myself permission to say it out loud.

Question the meaning behind the work. Ask: If I spent the next 10 years doing more of this, who would I become? Would it move me toward the person I want to be?

And notice, do you envy people doing “less important” but more joyful work?

Recognizing the signs is the first step. But once you see them, the real work begins: choosing to do something about it.

5 ways to fight for your light

Here are five practical ways to begin.

1. Recognize that you don’t have to burn it all down. Fighting for your light doesn’t mean quitting your job or upending your life overnight. It means waking up. Reclaiming your agency. Rewriting the rules, your rules, even if you still need to operate within existing structures.

It’s about shifting from autopilot to intention. And that shift begins with small, conscious acts that help you remember who you are and what matters to you. 

I may have jumped into the unknown the first time, but since then I’ve learned to recalibrate, balancing how much soul and how much toll I bring to my ambitious career pursuits.

2. Listen for the subtle pull. That subtle, nagging feeling? It wants your attention. It’s your intuition, your essence, asking you to come home. Instead of brushing it aside, sit with it. Ask: What part of me have I muted to make this life work?

3. Practice micro soul work. You don’t need to fly to Bali or reinvent your whole identity. Give yourself 10 minutes a day to remember who you are outside of expectations. That might mean:

  • Taking inventory of the projects you take on voluntarily, is there a theme?
  • Journaling about what used to make you feel alive
  • Sitting quietly with a question like: What am I tolerating?
  • Moving your body with no agenda, no tracking, no PRs, just curiosity and tuning in

4. Name the invisible rules you’re still obeying. Write them down:

  • “I can’t be creative.”
  • “I’m only valuable when I’m productive.”
  • “I must wear navy blue suits to be taken seriously.”

Then question them. Are these true? Who wrote these rules? Are they serving me, or shrinking me?

5. Reignite creative courage. Creativity is the expression of the soul. If you want to find your light, this is where to start. And if your first instinct is “I’m not creative”, see #4 above.

Start with something small, visible or tangible, and just for you. Then expand. The idea is to start creating proof that your light isn’t gone, it just needs space to shine.

Breaking free doesn’t always mean escape. Sometimes, it means expansion.

The real work isn’t to chase that light but to return to it, again and again, until it’s not just where you visit but the place you live from every day.

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Life

9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World

Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.

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harsh truths for young men
Image Credit: Midjourney

Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.

Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”

But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.

Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.

Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.

1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse

As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.

Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.

Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:

  • Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.

  • Read quality literature in your free time.

  • Nurture a strong relationship with your family.

  • Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.

  • Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.

The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.

2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay

You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.

If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.

3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome

Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.

You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.

The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.

4. Rejection Is Never Personal

Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.

Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.

5. Women Value Comfort and Security

Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.

Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.

Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.

6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons

A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.

Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.

Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.

7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form

Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.

It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.

If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.

8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise

Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.

Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.

Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.

9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams

One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.

That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.

Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.

Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.

Final Thoughts

The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.

Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.

Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.

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Change Your Mindset

The Four Types of Happiness: Which One Are You Living In?

Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)

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Change Your Mindset

The Secret Daily Routines Behind History’s Most Brilliant Thinkers

Uncover the daily rituals and hidden habits that powered history’s most brilliant minds to success.

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Why Daily Rituals Matter

Every great achiever has one thing in common: discipline. Behind the novels, inventions, discoveries, and masterpieces are small, consistent habits repeated daily. (more…)

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Finances

From Debt to Financial Independence: A Practical Roadmap Anyone Can Follow

It’s about having control over your money and not letting money control you.

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Image Credit: Midjourney

The 21st century has brought incredible opportunities but also new challenges. Rapid technological change, global uncertainty, and shifting lifestyles have made many people think more deeply about financial freedom. (more…)

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