Change Your Mindset
7 Goal-Setting Mistakes That Are Secretly Sabotaging Your Success
Struggling to hit your goals? Avoid these mistakes and start winning faster.
I coach ambitious, high-potential people who want to perform better at work and in life. And one of the most common topics that comes up? Goal setting.
The truth is, most people’s goals are doomed from the start. Setting a goal is easy. Turning it into action, building momentum, changing habits, reorganising routines, that’s the hard part.
But here’s the good news: by avoiding a few common mistakes, you can dramatically increase your chances of success.
Let’s break down the most common reasons goals fail and how to fix them.
1. You Set the Goal and Stop There
A goal without action is just wishful thinking.
Think about all the people who set a big fitness goal on New Year’s Day, only to cancel their barely used gym membership two months later. Setting the goal isn’t the finish line; it’s the starting point.
Fix: As soon as you set a goal, write down the first step you’ll take today to move closer to it. Make it small, simple, and impossible to procrastinate on.
2. Your Goal Isn’t Specific Enough
Vague goals like “eat healthier” or “save more money” sound good, but they don’t give your brain a clear target to hit.
Specific goals eliminate friction and make success measurable.
Examples of specific, actionable goals:
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“I will save $200 per month by setting up an automatic $100 transfer to my savings account every payday.”
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“I will cook dinner at home five nights per week by ordering a meal kit with enough vegetables and lean protein.”
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“I will sign up for one fitness class by the end of the month and download a free step-tracking app.”
Fix: Make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
3. You Lack Accountability or Consequences
Without external accountability, there’s nothing to lose if you quit.
Research shows that we’re far more motivated when we have skin in the game, even if it’s just the fear of letting someone else down.
Ways to build accountability:
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Pay in advance for a coach, therapist, or personal trainer and commit to showing up.
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Join a mastermind, fitness class, or writers’ group that tracks progress and holds you to deadlines.
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Tie your goal to a meaningful event, such as “I want to run 5K by my 40th birthday” or “I want to launch my business before my class reunion.”
4. You Hate the Process
Goals should challenge you, but they shouldn’t feel like punishment.
There’s a reason trainers say, “The best workout is the one you’ll actually do.” If you dread every step, you’ll eventually quit.
Fix: Follow the 75/25 rule. Your goal should excite you 75% of the time and scare you 25% of the time. That mix keeps you motivated while still pushing you beyond your comfort zone.
5. You’re Setting Goals for Someone Else
Many people chase goals that don’t align with their own values, careers chosen to please parents, houses bought to “keep up with the Joneses,” or habits adopted because of social pressure.
If your goals aren’t yours, you’ll eventually lose interest (or resent them).
Fix: Ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me?” Goals should move you toward your own vision of success, not someone else’s.
6. Your Goal Feels Like Punishment
“No more drinking in 2025” feels like deprivation. “I choose to be alcohol-free in 2025” feels empowering.
Language matters. If a goal feels restrictive, your brain will resist it.
Fix: Frame your goals as a choice and a positive step toward a better version of yourself. Choose language that feels supportive, not punishing.
7. You Forget to Celebrate Small Wins
Big goals are made up of many small milestones. If you wait until the very end to celebrate, you’ll burn out before you get there.
One of my clients struggled to drink enough water each morning. Instead of forcing 16 ounces right away, we started with a shot glass of water, 2 ounces, and celebrated every success.
Fix: Break big goals into micro-goals and reward yourself for each step forward. Small celebrations keep motivation high and make progress feel tangible.
The Bottom Line
Successful goal setting is about creating a framework for positive momentum.
Your goals should be:
- Specific and measurable
- Authentic to your values
- Exciting but slightly uncomfortable
- Supported by accountability and consequences
- Framed positively
- Celebrated along the way
When you combine these elements, you’ll stop “setting goals” and start achieving them.
Change Your Mindset
The One Leadership Habit That Separates the Great From the Forgettable
True leaders don’t just speak their values, they live them, proving that integrity is the foundation of lasting influence.
Leadership isn’t defined by titles, speeches, or charisma; it’s defined by action. The most respected leaders in history didn’t just preach their values; they lived them. (more…)
Life
9 Harsh Truths Every Young Man Must Face to Succeed in the Modern World
Before chasing success, every young man needs to face these 9 brutal realities shaping masculinity in the modern world.
Many young men today quietly battle depression, loneliness, and a sense of confusion about who they’re meant to be.
Some blame the lack of deep friendships or romantic relationships. Others feel lost in a digital world that often labels traditional masculinity as “toxic.”
But the truth is this: becoming a man in the modern age takes more than just surviving. It takes resilience, direction, and a willingness to grow even when no one’s watching.
Success doesn’t arrive by accident or luck. It’s built on discipline, sacrifice, and consistency.
Here are 9 harsh truths every young man should know if he wants to thrive, not just survive, in the digital age.
1. Never Use Your Illness as an Excuse
As Dr. Jordan B. Peterson often says, successful people don’t complain; they act.
Your illness, hardship, or struggle shouldn’t define your limits; it should define your motivation. Rest when you must, but always get back up and keep building your dreams. Motivation doesn’t appear magically. It comes after you take action.
Here are five key lessons I’ve learned from Dr. Peterson:
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Learn to write clearly; clarity of thought makes you dangerous.
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Read quality literature in your free time.
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Nurture a strong relationship with your family.
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Share your ideas publicly; your voice matters.
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Become a “monster”, powerful, but disciplined enough to control it.
The best leaders and thinkers are grounded. They welcome criticism, adapt quickly, and keep moving forward no matter what.
2. You Can’t Please Everyone And That’s Okay
You don’t need a crowd of people to feel fulfilled. You need a few friends who genuinely accept you for who you are.
If your circle doesn’t bring out your best, it’s okay to walk away. Solitude can be a powerful teacher. It gives you space to understand what you truly want from life. Remember, successful men aren’t people-pleasers; they’re purpose-driven.
3. You Can Control the Process, Not the Outcome
Especially in creative work, writing, business, or content creation, you control effort, not results.
You might publish two articles a day, but you can’t dictate which one will go viral. Focus on mastery, not metrics. Many great writers toiled for years in obscurity before anyone noticed them. Rejection, criticism, and indifference are all part of the path.
The best creators focus on storytelling, not applause.
4. Rejection Is Never Personal
Rejection doesn’t mean you’re unworthy. It simply means your offer, idea, or timing didn’t align.
Every successful person has faced rejection repeatedly. What separates them is persistence and perspective. They see rejection as feedback, not failure. The faster you learn that truth, the faster you’ll grow.
5. Women Value Comfort and Security
Understanding women requires maturity and empathy.
Through books, lectures, and personal growth, I’ve learned that most women desire a man who is grounded, intelligent, confident, emotionally stable, and consistent. Some want humor, others intellect, but nearly all want to feel safe and supported.
Instead of chasing attention, work on self-improvement. Build competence and confidence, and the rest will follow naturally.
6. There’s No Such Thing as Failure, Only Lessons
A powerful lesson from Neuro-Linguistic Programming: failure only exists when you stop trying.
Every mistake brings data. Every setback builds wisdom. The most successful men aren’t fearless. They’ve simply learned to act despite fear.
Be proud of your scars. They’re proof you were brave enough to try.
7. Public Speaking Is an Art Form
Public speaking is one of the most valuable and underrated skills a man can master.
It’s not about perfection; it’s about connection. The best speakers tell stories, inspire confidence, and make people feel seen. They research deeply, speak honestly, and practice relentlessly.
If you can speak well, you can lead, sell, teach, and inspire. Start small, practice at work, in class, or even in front of a mirror, and watch your confidence skyrocket.
8. Teaching Is Leadership in Disguise
Great teachers are not just knowledgeable. They’re brave, compassionate, and disciplined.
Teaching forces you to articulate what you know, and in doing so, you master it at a deeper level. Whether you’re mentoring a peer, leading a team, or sharing insights online, teaching refines your purpose.
Lifelong learners become lifelong leaders.
9. Study Human Nature to Achieve Your Dreams
One of the toughest lessons to accept: most people are self-interested.
That’s not cynicism, it’s human nature. Understanding this helps you navigate relationships, business, and communication more effectively.
Everyone has a darker side, but successful people learn to channel theirs productively into discipline, creativity, and drive.
Psychology isn’t just theory; it’s a toolkit. Learn how people think, act, and decide, and you’ll know how to lead them, influence them, and even understand yourself better.
Final Thoughts
The digital age offers endless opportunities, but only to those who are willing to take responsibility, confront discomfort, and keep improving.
Becoming a man today means embracing the hard truths most avoid.
Because at the end of the day, success isn’t about luck. It’s about who you become when life tests you the most.
Change Your Mindset
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Work stress doesn’t have to win, here’s how to protect your peace and thrive in any workplace.
Starting a new job often comes with excitement and ambition. Yet, beneath that initial enthusiasm, many employees quickly encounter the reality of workplace challenges, especially stress. (more…)
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Most people chase success only to find emptiness, this model reveals why true happiness lies somewhere else.
In a world driven by rapid technological growth and constant competition, many people unknowingly trade joy for achievement. (more…)
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