The Top 5 Regrets In Life By Those About to Die

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To all my readers out there, sorry to bring down the mood on this one, but I believe this post you are about to read will be a life changing article in the way that you see your life and how you are living it at the moment. This article is written by Bronnie Ware, a palliative care worker who has worked with a countless number of patients who are sadly seeing their last days on earth. When Bronnie had questioned the patients about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

The Top 5 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way.

From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard – This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.

Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings – Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends – Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
This is a surprisingly common one.

Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice.

They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

By Bronnie Ware – Purchase Bronnie Wares full – length book:

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141 Comments

1. 

   Bryan

   December 2, 2011 at 4:31 am

   Thanks for the article its really opened my eyes in life and im going to be makeing honest decisions and stay true to my self and live everyday to the fullest thanks

   Reply
2. 

   Linda H

   December 2, 2011 at 6:03 am

   This is fantastic food for thought. As someone who is starting a new life teaching workshops concerning rediscovering your dreams I would like to print this out and make it part of my handouts. Do you mind if I do that?

   Reply
3. 

   Viktor

   December 2, 2011 at 2:24 pm

   All very well and I completely agree with all written above, but according to me, the real problem lies in how to get to this so-called ‘state of mind’ (courage to express your feelings, don’t work so hard etc.) from where you are in life right now? Figuring out the road between where you are now, to the point in life where you are truly able to ‘express your feelings’ and ‘not work so hard’, is what I find the most interesting! How are we supposed to find that road at all?

   Reply
   • 

     Dice

     December 4, 2011 at 3:31 pm

     Viktor asks a very good question about finding that road, some of us know the “what” we just don’t know the “how”. Church and fellowship has shown me the “how” and I have watched as so many of my loved ones have changed their lives and are happy and blessed through God’s mercy. I myself have not gotten to that point as yet as I’m taking it one day at a time trying to put into practice the things that bring me closer to Christianity. The Bible tells you step by step how to be happy and so many people don’t have a clue about that, one Sunday service could prove it. The hardest part is changing the things that are keeping us away from Christ and our eternal happiness. I struggle with my temper and bad thoughts and focus more on the person deep inside who is considerate and generous, caring and nurturing. I find courage and strength in fellowship and I hope you consider giving the Church a chance to help you find that road.

     Reply
4. 

   Suzi Wilson

   December 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm

   I shared this with everyone I know. Personally I lost my first husband when he was only 40 and my current husband lost his wife to cancer as well. We both know the pain of losing someone and the pain they feel and the regrets they had.

   I personally intend to take at least one of the items from this list and do something to change it.

   Thank you so much for such an “inspirational” message.

   Reply
5. 

   Shane Taber

   December 4, 2011 at 8:48 am

   Wow. Powerful, succinct and, in many ways, encouraging. Thanks for sharing. As someone who, at age 55, has recently made some huge changes in my life including drastically downsizing so I could move closer to achieving my lifelong dream to return to teaching abroad, I found much in this article to ring so true. Making such changes isn’t easy and, yes, can be even painful at times (not everyone is supportive or understanding). In the end, for me anyway, you get your soul back, when you are finally being true to yourself and what YOU value. “To thine own self be true” is my mantra. Good luck, everyone, in realizing your own dreams! It IS possible.
   One thing more: You have to have patience and a bit of faith. (OK, two more things…)

   Reply
6. 

   Clarissa Beg

   December 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm

   Yes, yes , yes! This is what I have been telling people all my life. And when people ask me” why are you so light and happy”? (I can get very loud in screaming about choose life…… while you`re living”, to the ones that are brave enough to hear…..but then in the end a lot of them just walking away. I was living in Japan on and off for 20 years saying “Come on …Give up all this obligatory stuff….Be an example to your children and show them how you have happiness so they can create it easily for themselves when they are adults…otherwise they will turn into you…. that is not happy but just PRETENDING and then you see the younger generation becoming better pretenders than the parents…. I even opened a business in order to project this to other called Heart to Heart English Club………. In the end my cries weren`t loud enough We must just LET GO and LIVE…It`s an indescribable place to be . It just has to be truly experienced.

   Reply
7. 

   Jerry Cole

   December 5, 2011 at 5:58 pm

   I think there are 2 or 3 on this list that fit me.I am in the process of changingg that.I am living for me and my wife,with JESUS as our Pilot. Thank You.This was good information.

   Reply
8. 

   Ali

   December 6, 2011 at 10:39 am

   Great post Joel. Man I totally agree on #1 and #3. Without expressing your feeling toward someone. You can’t live your life because you never feel free.

   Reply
   • 

     MuhAMMAD sIDDIQUE

     April 3, 2012 at 10:52 am

     yap very good article

     Reply
9. 

   Dingi

   December 6, 2011 at 11:09 am

   In life,each one of us crib for things knowingly or unknowingly,we hate things we did in past ……its better we realize them sooner and not let them turn into latter life’s regrets…this article is an eye opener to each one of us.Make your today better by living the best,giving your best to the people u love,express your feelings,feel sorry if u did something wrong,fall for your passions,do something good for others and surly u will feel content before dying even if these things don’t give happiness momentarily….it will give u satisfaction when u look back……….

   Reply
10. 

    Resa

    December 6, 2011 at 2:29 pm

    Wow…Thank you, very profound and inspirational. I hope the Bronnie Ware’s book is a international best selller. Their words and experiences need to be shared with the world.

    Reply